With as busy as things have been in my home lately, I never got a chance to post about my first girl's birthday.  A couple of days later, she lost her first tooth (it was definitely an exciting day).  Now, as I get "serious" about preparing for our newest blessing (due the 13th of May), I find myself reflecting on her birthday again and how, even though she was my third pregnancy,  much my life changed with her birth...

After my first was born four days early, and my second was nine days late and induced, I had no idea what the expect.  I was patient though, after my second came out not breathing and gave us quite a scare.  He was also under weight and they thought, possibly early.  I knew I'd been impatient and said I would never do that again unless I was sure the baby was really ready to come out!

As the due date approached, I remained calm.  The night before the due date I began to have contractions.  It was about 11 o'clock at night, and it wound up being a pretty uncomfortable and sleepless night.  We went into the hospital around 2 o'clock in the morning.  I was so tired.  When we got there (only a block away) it was hard because her head was in a position that didn't allow the doctor to really get the ladicane shot (that I'd gotten on both of my prior births) to "take" and I continued to feel more pain than I had before (click to read about my first birth and my second). 

I remember feeling the need to push, and after two children, everyone thought I knew what I was doing, so I gave one good push to which the doctor then yelled, "STOP!"  I was only dialated to a "6" and at that point had to constantly fight the urge to push.  I was my hardest labor because it was so hard to not push.

Finally the time came and I could push.  She was born at 8:30 in the morning and we had our first girl!  We didn't know ahead of time what we were having, and I remember looking at my husband's face with tears streaming down at the sight of his precious daughter... something he thought (and teased) he'd never have.

We brought her home, but her bili was high and so we had to go back to the hospital and check in.  It was an extremely tough time with my other two little ones at home (they were 2 and 4) and being away from my husband, as I was there for a week.  It was a trying time as her bili kept rising and they began to talk of a blood transfusion.  It was so hard to look at that little naked body under the lights and have only the precious moments of nursing to hold her.

At some point in time, (probably after I got home) the realization of having a girl really sunk in.  It wasn't the same as being a mom of boys.  I knew with them I needed to be an example of what they would want to marry... but to have a girl meant I needed to guide her and teach her about actually being a woman.  It seemed a much bigger task and it scared me a little, to be honest.  I think it's when I really began to take "motherhood" seriously.

Being a mother isn't something I dreamed of doing... I pray, however, that both of my daughters (our next baby was a girl as well, but that story isn't until June... ) will desire to be women of God, wives and mothers seeking His will in their lives. Recently at AWANA they had "Dress What You Want to Be When You Grow Up" Night.  My daughter came home so excited for it.  When I asked her what she wanted to be, she said, "a mom".  It was then, I thanked the Lord again, for blessing me so richly to the call of "motherhood".