Friday, November 16, 2007 - Day Sixteen... My Marriage
Dear Heavenly Father,
When I think over the past fifteen years with Michael... I'm in awe over what You've done with us. We began similar to David and Bathsheba. I wish our story could be like those I've heard and read about since becoming a Christian... You know the ones Lord... where they met in highschool and their first kiss was on their wedding day... or even the first time they made love being on their wedding night. To me, all of this was beyond comprehension. I never knew it even existed...
And so with our broken hearts and messed up lives, we joined together as one in marriage after living together for two years. I had no idea what marriage to a man who was divorced would be like... let alone one with a child, and as we began to have children together things only got harder. Lord, there were so many times I cried out to You saying "if I'd only known..." but as I sit here today, I can honestly say... I'm glad I didn't. I'm glad that I feel in love with a man I can barely remember now as I look at the one that stands before me today... and again, I'm in awe of Your goodness.
Lord, I don't remember at what point in time I completely surrendered my marriage to You... but I do remember telling You, "I've done all I know how to do... if You want this to work out, You'll have to fix it Yourself"... and You did... not once... not twice... but three times Lord. I can barely remember how desperate those times were, but I know they were. I knew that I couldn't mend all that had fallen apart. Each time had a different set of circumstances... but You took what was broken and repaired it each time... And You didn't stop there... you didn't just put a "band-aid" on the wounds... You went deeper... You healed... and You RESTORED our marriage in such a way that it was better than before.
Lord, there have been consequences for our sins... there have been ramifications that will never go away because of Mike's previous marriage, and Your desire for marriage to never end in divorce. I know this, and accept it... and still, I thank You. You have blessed this marriage beyond my wildest dreams. Never as I stood before family and friends at the age of 20 did I think that someday the same man standing next to me would love You with his whole heart and go into ministry at Your calling. I couldn't have even prayed for it... because I didn't pray for such things. I could never have been able to imagine what our lives would become after knowing You.
Lord, You are good... so good... and thinking about my marriage always leaves me speechless and truly grateful. You have done many things in my life... You have worked many miracles... You have blessed me in so many ways... but when it comes to my marriage, I will never be able to thank You enough or praise You enough... You sent Your Son to die as a sacrifice for my sins... the beginning of my relationship with Mike... but You didn't just forgive me... You didn't stop there...
Instead, You graciously guided us toward a path that would bring glory to You despite our faults... and because of them. You brought us out of the mire Lord and placed our feet on solid ground. For that, how can we do anything but praise You? May our marriage always show Your love for the lost... Your patience for everyone... and Your goodness to all.
I love hearing marriage testimonies. God is so very good. He is the Restorer. Redeemer. I remember how blown away I was when God first brought my husband to church, (and when my husband came back to the Lord), and the first time we prayed together (now every night). His ability to redeem what the locusts have destroyed, well it's just incredible. I recently read a great book on marriage and reviewed it at my other blog.
and a woman seeking the Lord's Will (daily), a wife (striving to keep the romance alive), a "Smamma" (Step- mother) of one and a homeschooling mom of seven (I was never going to have children), who starts every day over (after messing SOME thing up the day before), knowing God's grace is overflowing (just like my laundry), and so thankful He's blessed me more than I'll ever deserve.
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Friday, November 16, 2007 - thanks