Dear Jen,

Because I am a christian woman, I feel it is my duty to the Lord to speak to you on how you've uberly hurt me.  In your post, you called me, and I quote, "a big uber-cheating nut pickle" unquote.

Here all this time, I've thought you were complimenting me by calling me by your "pet names"... but after this post, I believe I've misunderstood.  Could it be possible that you've used my innocence... okay, nevermind that... could it be you've used my naivety to vent your frustrations and hide behind the smile of an otherwise fearful the world will end, macaroni mush making, itchy scratchy, nudist neighbor watching woman, while I am secretly abused for all to see?

I am hurt, and your words have cut deeply Jen... I mean,  UBER-DEEPLY.  I  just wanted to come to you without gossiping or spreading any undue rumors.  I hope we can resolve this, but I want you to know that I forgive you.

Your uber-forgiving friend,
Amy

(a;slkf;lkfja;slfdj;aslkfj;saldfj;saldfj;sdfj;salfj;lfj;lsadjf;sajf;slfj;dslj;sladjfs;adlfj;afdj;lasdfj)