Taken from my post on January 20th, 2006.

When I was still living at home with my parents, my mother always went overboard to make us feel special on our birthdays (I have two younger sisters as well).  We would wake up to streamers in the living room, balloons in the kitchen, and “of course”, special paper plates, cups and napkins to fit the "theme" we'd picked out.  While in elementary school, we got to have parties with several other girls invited, and in high-school we had sleep-overs.  Before leaving for school in the morning, we’d get to open one present that had a new outfit to wear on our special day as well.  She always made a homemade cake (our favorite), making every effort to make us feel extra special that day.

After I left home, I missed all the “who-haw” about my birthday.  She still tries to make it special, however, by calling and greeting me with a “happy birthday” each and every time she calls (and she calls a lot on my birthday).  Her and dad even stopped by this morning with a gift (money to buy some scrap booking supplies… something I’ve been wanting to start) and a cake… with (of course) paper plates, cups and little “happy birthday” candies for the top of the cake.  (She’s relentless.)  I've continued to try and do the same, however, with my children too.  I, too, try to make my children feel extra special on their birthdays.   They wake up to streamers hanging in their bedroom doorway and streamers and balloons in the living room.  We used to have parties with all the relatives as well, but that got to be expensive (we’d have dinner as well), not everyone was always able to travel and make it, and we literally have only few months where we don’t have a birthday in our home (busy, busy, busy)…  I let the birthday child choose what they want me to make for food throughout the day, and what kind of cake they’d like (always with a theme), which has been pretty interesting at times… Larry Boy, Batman, and a beach ball that fell apart… turning it into a sandcastle instead (hey… it was a beach party so it worked).  There was also the twice baked birthday cake (that I’d made, frosted, and put in the cooled oven so as not to get ruined on the counter, and then turned the oven on later to make something, resulting in the frosting “nicely” melting, giving it a glazed look.  a;sldkjf;asldjf;alskjf;dljfa;sldjk

In my last few years of high-school, I also had a friend in high school (he was three years older than me) who shared the same birth date as me.  After graduating, he would always stop by my house and pick me up to take me out for ice cream for our birthdays.  He made a big deal of it to show me how happy he was I was alive.  I’d taken pills to end my life at one point, and every birthday after that, he was sure to show up on my birthday, celebrating life.  Even after I’d left home and married, he would drop in at my hubby and my house to say “happy birthday”.  It was such a surprise because we never saw each other in-between.  I would wonder each year if he’d come or not (and wouldn’t have been surprised if he hadn’t) but there would always be a knock on the door, and there he’d stand with a huge smile on face… “Happy birthday Ames”.  Ironically (if you’d call it that), he took his own life a few years back.  I sang at his funeral and it was so hard to understand how he could do that after he’d lectured me for being so “dumb” when I’d attempted suicide.  Because we had no communication in-between birthdays, I didn’t have any answers as to why, and my birthdays since have had a little sadness with them when I think of him, along with his mother who must be thinking of him as well.

As I mentioned, I attempted to end my life while in high school.  It was dumb and spontaneous, but it’s a part of my past.  I had been in a horrible relationship (another reason for kids not to date) and had fallen away from God in the process (I hadn’t had a personal relationship with Him, but certainly knew of Him and prayed to Him before the relationship).  After taking a lot of pills one night, however, I did pray... for the first time in a long time.  I said I was sorry that I knew no other way, and if there was, for Him to show me.  I then went to sleep, expecting to never wake up.  I did though… I don't remember what the date was, but it was my second "birth day"… and a second chance at life.  God picked me up off the path I’d chosen and placed me back on the one He wanted.

I’d like to say that after that, everything was great… that I lived a life the Lord was happy with and here I am today...  however, that’s wasn’t the case.  I continued to live my own life, my way, and was a horrible teenager in the process.  In and out of relationships, I eventually graduated and moved in with Michael.  After two years, we got married and began having our own family (he already had a boy from his previous marriage).  After two children, we left the church we’d been attending (yes, we went to the church I grew up in cuz we wanted our children to know about God too) and quit for a long time.  Then we began to search for something more.  We decided to go across the street (yes, there’d been a church across the street from the house we’d been in the entire time and the same house we're still in) and over time, we committed our lives to the Lord.  Again, not knowing the exact date, it was my third "birth day"… and the choice the Lord had patiently been waiting for me to make for so long.

As I sit here, 31 years after my mother brought me into this world, I still am unsure exactly of what the Lord’s plans are for me on any given day, but I can say my life has changed dramatically since I let Him in.  Through good and bad, I’ve truly been blessed more than I ever would’ve dreamed, or will ever deserve.  Looking back, I’ve had a lot of birthdays of different kinds… and no matter how they get celebrated by me or anyone else on this earth… I know that the One who created me celebrates and rejoices for each and every one.

Dear Heavenly Father,
            Thank you for Your grace and love.  Thank You for the life I have, for in spite of its trials, I have been blessed. You have given me so much, and I’m so sorry for the times that I’ve thought only of myself and forgotten every gift You’ve blessed me with.  Please use my life in the way You choose, and may it bring glory to You all my days.
In Jesus’ Name,
Amen.