(Excerpts taken Chapter One in "Romancing Your Husband - Enjoying a Passionate Life Together" by Debra White Smith on the "BOOK TALK" forum.)

...Being a Christlike wife is an equation that involves numerous aspects of home and family.  Jesus Christ laid Himself down for others.  If we are to be like Him, we will be willing to set aside our wants and meet the needs of our spouses. 

The Golden Rule tells us to treat other people the way we want to be treated in everything.… laying down our rights and selflessly focusing on the needs of others… this type of love expects nothing in return and flows from a heart focused on the recipient of our actions.  Furthermore, this love is active, not passive; positive, not negative. 

If you just don’t do evil to others, you have only fulfilled half the mission.  You must bend over backward to treat everyone else with as much love, respect, and dignity as you want to be treated.  First Corinthians 13:4-8 defines this kind of selfless love: “Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails.” 

A primary way to put this type of selfless love into action is for wives to do everything in their power to understand their husbands’ needs.  Many women wrinkle their noses and complain that their husbands pester than about sex.  Men don’t plan or decide to need sex any more than women decide to need romance.  When wives scorn their husbands’ need for sex, they are neither living out the Golden Rule nor exemplifying selfless love.  Furthermore, they are ridiculing them for need God placed within them.  Ultimately, this attitude represents disdain toward God and His creation. 

Prayer Points for Romance

• Pray that God will renew and empower your love for your husband.
• Pray that God will increase your sexual desire for your husbands.
• Pray that you will be more interested in meeting your husband’s needs than your own.
• Pray that the Lord will give you patience with yourself and your spouse in your journey to spectacular romance.
• Ask the Lord to show you creative and exciting ways to romance your husband.  ~Debra White Smith