• Sunday, January 4, 2009 - CHD: Week 1 - Trustin' Him
As I looked back at what I'd written last year about this verse (I only did it for a few weeks... yes, I started ANOTHER thing I didn't finish) I had to smile at how "in the dark" Mike and I really were about our future. We had NO idea what we would be doing or where the road would take us. Since then, we've had some answers to some of our questions... but for the most part, we have a lot of unanswered things.
We went to the Assessment Center for potential church planters last January with MANY questions... and from there, we got the answer that church planting would be a "good fit" for us. We needed more training in ministry and we questioned where that would be... and The Journey North Community Church (a church plant itself) found us and answered by asking us to come there (where we're currently serving, learning and preparing for our church plant)... But that's pretty much where the answers ended.
While we know we're going to plant a church... we have no idea where that will be. We have a couple of places in mind, but God hasn't made it clear yet and so... we're waiting. We fasted for ten days a few months back, praying over 10 cities in Minnesota that we'd been given to choose from. A couple stood out (for whatever reason) and we even took the kids to have a picnic to those places to see what they were like... but when the ten days were over, the only real thing we'd done is narrow the original ten down.
Trust Me...
I gotta be honest here... I was disappointed. I thought for sure that God was going to tell us where we were to plant HIS church. We had 10 people that committed to praying (and fasting) for us in this very important decision and we took it seriously. I mean, I fasted, so certainly God should honor that with an answer, right? (smirk) The ten prayer warriors called and asked what city we'd chosen... we didn't know. How embarrassing...
Trust Me...
We've been fund raising (a whole other story) and it's only "logical" for them to ask... "Where are you going to plant?" How logical is the response we give, "We're going to go where God tells us..." Come on... I know it sounds crazy and I'm sure some think, "well, that's nice... why don't you come back and talk to me when you've picked a city cuz right now you sound like a fruitcake." (my interpretation italicized)
Trust Me... why do you worry about what others think? They are not giving you their money... it's all Mine.
And so we've had some really tough and uncertain months... and we didn't know how Mike would drive to work with the price of gas (for awhile there)...
Trust Me...
... and then a family called and told us they wanted to give us their car (with great gas mileage) for the year that Mike was driving to Brainerd (35 miles away).
There have been times when we didn't have enough food to make one complete meal for our family...
Trust Me...
... and then someone would bring us groceries, or once we even got an anonymous envelope with four $100 gift cards to Cub foods and it was signed, "From the Lord".
And Christmas was coming again with nothing to spare...
Trust Me...
... and people gave us gift certificates, cash (some anonymously), "practical, every day items" (in totes I could use again even), bikes for my older kids and toys for the younger ones, a retreat for Mike and a day at the spa for me and when it was all said and done... we'd received more than we'd EVER had and were overwhelmed.
And after all that, I still struggled with the fact that we didn't know where we were planting... not because I was worried about it... but that we had to continue to raise money for the church plant, and all I kept asking the Lord was, "how will people support this vision when we don't even know where it is?"
Trust Me...
... and then on the 31st of December, an anonymous gift was given online to our church planting account for a very significant contribution! We did nothing… God did, as He has all along.
I know the plans I have for you... plans of a future... plans that I created you for... trust Me... no matter what others say... no matter what others do... no matter what the circumstances are... no matter what you see... no matter how "illogical" it seems... I have it all under control... You just have to trust Me.
And so I start this year, unsure of many things but knowing that God has brought us this far and has taken care of everything. It hasn't always been easy… it hasn't always been in the way we would have liked it to be, or without loss. But we know that to lose everything and gain Christ is to lose nothing. He didn't promise it would be easy, and honestly looking back, it was in the times that I had no other answers... no other way... no other hope... that I came to the place where all I could do was trust Him... the same God who put the stars in place, parted the sea to lead people into freedom, and came to earth as a baby born of a virgin... Who is still the same God today and worthy to be praised... and trusted.
for this story. My husband and I have been feeling the call to go into full time ministry for the last couple of years and right now are at a point where we know it is His will for us to do something...but we are clueless as to what. It is so nice to see other people go through the same things!
Sharing your wonderful story, your adventure and story of your family's journey! This is an AWESOME testimony to trusting our Heavenly Father! How many times have I given something over to God only to take it back because I think I can "handle or figure it out" . My dear husband and I have been praying for quite a while now, on if and where we should be looking into moving this spring, still unsure, is it our feelings or God's calling for what we are thinking of doing?? So many questions, yet so simple if we will just be still and listen and TRUST IN HIM!!! Again thank you for sharing, I feel ministered to every time I visit your blog! :)
Thank you for sharing your story and your struggle. It truly is all about God. I loved what you said about having more this holiday season than ever. I echo that. Out of the blue, God laid it on someone's heart to give us money for gifts for the kids...things they would want, not that they needed. We ended up buying a Wii...something the whole family would enjoy together. We never could have afforded that, but God took care of not only our needs, but more than that. God bless you Amy! I'm praying!
One thing I love about you is your honesty. It is easy to trust the Lord when we feel we have control of things, it is when we are completely out of control that the true test of trust comes in. That is what I will be working on this year. Will I trust God on March 21st, July 13th, or October 3rd. I feel great with this fresh start and it seems easy to trust today, I just want to release the control and trust on any given day, not just the days where it is easy for me.
I am so encouraged by you and your faith. Thank you for sharing your story and your heart. The Lord is doing a wonderful thing in and through you by putting your church plan on pause so that we could see it fulfilled. i love what you wrote in Week One - asking the Lord that you "would not drift from Him." I go about drifting all the time. Spinning my wheels - trying to figure things out. Mainly so I won't get hurt. He loves to shape and mold His children. He promises to never leave us nor foresake us. That is a beautiful gift. The flower is opening and I can't wait to see what HE does for your family. Keep looking for Jesus in the midst of your wait. Your friend and sister in the Lord, Grete
Hi Amy
I so needed to read this post! Our journey has a lot of unknowns but we do know that the Lord has blessed us. given us more than we can ever imagin,is training us in ministry. Yet we still do not know when we will go where He has called us to go.
We too can count the many miracles. This is year 3 without a job. Yet we still have our home, our bills are paid, and food on the table. Like you the gifts come. The ones that amaze us are the unspoken needs...an exact amount for a bill ect. God is sooooooooo Good. Waiting for the answers is sometimes overwhelming. But thinking on all he has done makes the journey ahead sweet.
and a woman seeking the Lord's Will (daily), a wife (striving to keep the romance alive), a "Smamma" (Step- mother) of one and a homeschooling mom of seven (I was never going to have children), who starts every day over (after messing SOME thing up the day before), knowing God's grace is overflowing (just like my laundry), and so thankful He's blessed me more than I'll ever deserve.
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•Monday, January 5, 2009 - Thank you...