MY THOUGHTS on Stormie OMartian's "The Power of a Praying Wife"
Chapter 1: HIS WIFE

So here we are on a journey of praying for our husbands... a commitment to pray for THEM and what do we wind up praying for the fist day?!  US??????!!  How fitting that BEFORE we can really be effective in praying for our husbands, we must first take a much deeper look at our heart.

The hard part about being a praying wife, other than the sacrifice of time, is maintaining a pure heart.  It must be clean before God in order for you to see good results... If you have resentment, anger, unforgiveness, or an ungodly attitude, even if there's a good reason for it, you'll have a difficult time seeing answers to your prayers.  -Stomie OMartian (p.25)

I love how Stormie points out that we may even have a "good reason" for the way we are toward our husband... but ultimately, it's never good enough because it stands in the way of being the wife God wants us to be and will eventually damage our marriage. 

The attitude that HE has to change... that HE's the one with the problems... that HE needs the work... well, it's just not okay.  To expect our husbands to conform to the image we have for them is NOT God's desire.  WE did not create our husbands, and while we can pray for them, only God knows exactly what it is that He fashioned them to be and created them for.  When our hearts are hardened toward our husband, we cannot see him with God's eyes ... we cannot love him with an overflowing love. We have to "learn to see things according to the way God sees them ~ not the way we think they should be (p.26).

He requires us to not sin in our hearts because sin separates us from Him and we don't get our prayers answered... God wants our hearts to be right so the answer to our prayers are not compormised.  -Stomie OMartian (p.52)

BEFORE I will see any change in my husband, I must change myself... my attitude... my feelings... or I will be unable to see any changes in my husband.  I will go on holding onto my hurts and grudges and they will prevent me from seeing my husband the way God does.

I loved Stormie's "talk" with God about her husband...

Do you see the way his is, Lord?
Do you see the way YOU are?
Lord, are You saying there are things you want to change in me?
Many things.  Are you ready to heart them?
Well, I guess so.
Tell me when you're really ready.
Why me, God?  HE'S the one that need to change.
The point is not who NEEDS to change.  The point is who is WILLING to change.
But God, this isn't fair.
I never said life is fair, I said I am fair.
But I...
Someone has to be willing to start.
But...
How important is preserving your marriage?
Very important.  The other options are unacceptable.
I rest my case.  Let's get on with changing you.
Help me to have a good attitude about this, Lord.
That's up to you.
do I have to pray for my husband even if he's not praying for me?
Precisely.
But that's not... okay, okay, I remember.  Life's not fair.  YOU'RE fair!
(Silent nodding from heaven)
I give up.  Go ahead.  Oh, this is going to be painful!  Cha... change.... I can't believe I'm saying this.  (Deep breath)  Change me, Lord.

I remember the first time I read "The Power of a Praying Wife".  I had given my marriage over to God because I was done trying to make it better.  Everything I did seemed to fail and after a long time of being emotionally hurt, I became indifferent.  That is such a dangerous place to be because there's no love, no hate... nothing... NO FEELING.  And where there's no feeling... there is only death.  The LAST thing I wanted to do was to pray for my husband... but I did and I remember how I began to feel again...

It didn't happen over night, but my heart did soften toward my husband and I began to desire a marriage with him and was willing to pray in order to make that happen.  I knew I couldn't do anything to make it better... I knew that because I'd already tried that.  I knew that God was going to need to work on Mike's heart as well, but because I'd opened my heart to change, I could now pray with compassion for my husband knowing that the change God would require of him would be no easier than the change God had required of me.

Our goal must not be to get our husbands to do what WE want, but rather to release them to God so He can get them to do what HE wants.  -Stomie OMartian (p.35)

That was so convicting to me... how many times have I tried to manipulate my husband to get what I wanted?  I'd like to say never, but that's just not the case... and it's also not God's way.

Stormie also includes "creating a home" and what our home "feels" like.  I've often said there's a difference between a house and a home.  "Home... house... what's the difference?"  Well, to me, my house is what I live in.  It's the shelter that's provided to my family.  I refer to it when I talk about cleaning  it or the "state" of chaos in which it's in (tee hee...).   My home... now that's a matter of the heart... my heart... and every day I strive to keep one for my children and have one for my husband to come to when he gets back from work.  As a wife and mother, it's my goal because I know that it pleases the Lord.

That also includes what I look like.  You know, that doesn't mean you have to wear make-up or diamonds, but Stormie does talk about looking your best for your husband and taking care of yourself as you did when you first met him.  Beauty fades and true beauty comes from within, but greeting your husband in a robe with the smell of baby puke on your shoulder and your hair in curlers may not be the most pleasant greeting for your husband to come home to (and thankfully my husband has NEVER come home to me like that... uh... well, almost never... okay, I have some things to work on...).  What this boils down to is simply... you know what you're husband likes.  Some men don't like make-up... some do.  Some like long hair... some short.  Some like women in dresses... some prefer jeans.  The bottom line, regardless of what you look like is simply, YOUR HEART WILL SHOW THROUGH AND WILL AFFECT HOW YOU LOOK.  Anger, self-righteousness, condemnation and disrespect make a heart black and cold... and there's NOTHING like disrespect to make a husband feel worthless (and angry, which is a result of a deep hurt).  All the make up in the world cannot cover up a black heart.  What steps must you take as "his wife" to continue on in this journey?

MY PRAYER: 
Dear Heavenly Father,  I've done this book before, and yet I found myself still convicted in so many areas.  I confess my actions that weren't respectful to my husband and I ask that You help me to "shut up" when I need to.  Help me to become the woman and wife that You desire me to be.  I want to change Lord... I want to change... I want to be a wife who brings honor to her husband and good all of his days.  Lord, give me Your heart for my husband.  Help me to see him with Your eyes, and in the moments where I struggle, help me to remember all the good qualities my husband has.  Give me the strength to go these next 30 days with a new found love in my heart for my husband.  Bless our marriage Lord and bring it to a new level in You.  Thank You for this man You have blessed me with.  Please help me to show him how much I adore him every day of my life.  In Jesus' name, Amen.


It's not too late to join us for the month of June as we pray for our husbands!  You can check out more about it by clicking the following link: S.H.M.I.L.Y. for 30 days of prayer...  Please share a link to your blog post if you've made one on this chapter!