MY THOUGHTS on Stormie OMartian's "The Power of a Praying Wife"
Chapter 15: HIS REPUTATION

This chapter has truly been worn in my book.  I have prayed for Mike's reputation MANY times over. 

Our reputations can be ruined by wrong things we do, by the people with whom we are associated, or by disparaging words spoken about us.  In all three cases, evil is involved.  One unfortunate court case, a significant round of gossip, an evil influence, an unflattering newspaper article, or fifteen minutes of notoriety can destroy everything a man has worked for all his life.  Prayer is our only defense.  - Stormie OMartain (p.121)

When Mike was on city council, he was in the paper almost every week (keep in mind we were in a town of only 3,000 but that just meant that EVERYONE knew us).  He sought God in all the decisions he made, but it wasn't always easy, and he wasn't always popular.  It was the first time I really encountered what damage people can do with their words.  After Mike had served 8 years, I was relieved when he was done and I thought I wouldn't have to pray so fervently about his reputation again... but when Mike's business began its downward decent a few years later, I took out this book and prayed this prayer over and over and OVER! 

It was so hard to watch as people made assumptions.  It's "funny" how people who know you and have built a business relationship/friendship, can turn when money is involved.  Mike tried to explain and tried to make things right.  In some instances he did, and in others, he couldn't... he tried, but the thing about an apology is this: When you apologize to someone and ask for forgiveness, you have done what you can.  If they choose not to forgive you, then there's nothing more you can do.  You can walk away and know that you are released (whether they released you or not, because it's not you being "held" anymore... but instead, they have become a victim to their own unforgiveness).  Mike did what he could to make things right, and then had to walk away... and it wasn't easy. 

Having experienced first hand what a newspaper or people can do to a person's reputation, I have learned to ALWAYS look deeper into a situation when someone speaks poorly about someone else.  Words carry such power, and I never want to be a part of something that tears down a person... the damage can be too great.  Be sure to ALWAYS look deeper into a person's heart, even if they disagree with you, put yourself in their shoes and see if you can see what it is that they see.  You may still disagree, but have a new appreciation for how they are, or why they feel the way they do.  Before you think badly about someone else, imagine that person being your husband, child, or friend... are you less quick to judge?

With all that said about what OTHERS can say to do damage to our husband's reputation, I want to take a moment to make sure that as wives, WE are not the ones damaging our husband's reputation.  When anger, hurt or resentment take hold of a wife's heart, bitter words can come too easily to a friend, co-worker, or even the children about our husband.  Proverbs 31:11-12 says that a husband trusts his wife to NOT harm him and that she is GOOD to him, seeking GOOD for him, all of his days.  A wife who talks about her husband in a negative way to others is damaging her husband.  Regardless of what is being said is true or not, it's not okay for you as HIS WIFE to make him look bad. 

He may not help you give the kids a bath,  change a diaper, say "thank you" after you've cooked his favorite dinner, give you flowers or go out to eat with you... he may sit in front of the television, go workout instead of repairing things at home, or spend more time with "the guys" than he does with you... while these things certainly are "issues", YOU must look at your heart before speaking to anyone about it because God is still looking at you as his wife.

PRIDE is ugly... it just is, and if you're feeling used, mistreated, unappreciated, or like a "slave" because you're doing everything, chances are good that you've begun to look at your situation from YOUR eyes and not God's.  God wants a happy marriage for you and your husband.  Don't you think it grieves Him to see you at odds with your husband?  Don't you think He feels bad that your husband isn't "pulling his weight" in your home?  But you must pray and leave it up to God to change your husband.  YOUR SPITEFUL WORDS WILL NEVER CHANGE YOUR HUSBAND'S HEART, ANYMORE THAN THEY WILL CHANGE YOURS. 

Good people bring good things out of the good they stored in their hearts. But evil people bring evil things out of the evil they stored in their hearts. People speak the things that are in their hearts.  Luke 6:45 (New Century Version)

While praying for your husband's reputation, make sure you are doing everything in your power to make sure you're not damaging it yourself.  Your husband's reputation is a reflection of you just as much as yours is of him. 

A woman once told me the following story (paraphrased):

"I met a woman who talked about her husband in such an amazing way.  She always spoke of how wonderful he was and never said anything bad about him.  I had never met him, but by her description of his actions and appearance, I'd pictured him as "Super Husband"... and then I met him.  You can imagine my shock as his appearance was nothing special.  He was just an average man to me.  And while he was friendly upon being introduced, I couldn't get over how "average" this man appeared to be.  And then I saw my friend looking at him as he spoke, and she had that same look of adoration that she had when she spoke of him... and I realized that because of how she'd talked about her husband, I liked him before I even met him, because I'd heard how wonderful he was.  She had let me know her husband through her eyes and I felt guilty because I didn't look at my husband the same way as she did hers."

What would others think about YOUR husband if they could only hear your words about him?  What kind of a reputation would he have if it depended on your words or actions you convey?  How can we as wives, expect others to guard our husband's reputation if we don't?

Dear Heavenly Father,  I pray that my husband would have a reputation that is good and honoring to You.  I pray others will speak highly of him and will not drag his name through the mud.  May only truth be spoken of my husband, and always in love.  Lord, I also ask You to reveal any bitterness I may be harboring in my heart toward my husband.  I don't want to be the one to tarnish my husband's reputation by my words or actions.  Let my heart overflow with love and adoration for this man.  May I only build him up and never tear him down.  If there are things that my husband needs to work on to improve his reputation, than I pray for You to speak to him, but help me to keep my mouth shut and trust in You for any changes that need to happen.  Guard him from the enemy who seeks to destroy his life, and may evil have no place in his circle of influence.  In Jesus' name, Amen.

_________________________________________________________

It's not too late to join us for the month of June as we pray for our husbands!  You can check out more about it by clicking the following link: S.H.M.I.L.Y. for 30 days of prayer...  Please share a link to your blog post if you've made one on this chapter!