MY THOUGHTS on Stormie OMartian's "The Power of a Praying Wife"
Chapter 19: HIS PAST

This chapter is extremely significant in our life.  While I grew up believing in God, I turned my back on Him when I was 15.  Mike knew who God was as well, but walked away at an even younger age.  Because Mike is 10 years older than me, there was a lot of "life" that had been lived before I ever came along.  That wild life continued after I met him as well.  I've shared before that Mike and I don't have a beautiful story of how we met and fell in love, and while I believed we'd create beautiful music together... only God could have created the symphony that has become our life.

Mike had many dark years away from God, and when the Lord was calling him into full time ministry, Mike hesitated saying there was no way he was "good enough" for what God needed.  He was scared of what people would think if they knew about his past... or the damage that could be done to his ministry or family.  God then made the words clear to me that I was to share with him, and so I told him how God chose him for this task BECAUSE of his past and that his past would be used to bring glory to God. 

The past should not be a place where we live, but something from which we learn.  We are to forget "those things which are behind" and reach "forward to those things which are ahead," and we're to "press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 3:13, 14).  God is a redeemer and a restorer.  We need to allow Him to be both.  He can redeem the past and restore what was lost.   -Stormie OMartian (p.144)

It was scary for me too, because as I've said, he had some very dark years, and some of them I was involved in as well.  For someone who likes to be liked... well, this path didn't seem very appealing to me either, but I knew that it's what God wanted, and we already knew what living life without HIM was like... and I didn't want to go back there!

While no one can pretend the past didn't happen, it's possible to pray that all the effects of it are removed.  No one is destined to live with them forever.  -Stormie OMartian (p.145)

Mike has prayed for God to make him forget certain things about his past, and he can honestly say that he cannot "see" his past anymore and some things have been completely erased.  (Praise God!)  However, there are moments where his reactions remind him of how he used to be and it can be so discouraging to him (Stormie mentions this on page 145).  It's important for me to not only pray him through those times, but to encourage him into the future and not let him "get stuck" thinking he isn't "good enough" for what God has called him to do.

God says we are to cry out for deliverance, walk in His ways, proclaim His truth, and then we will find freedom from our past.  -Stormie OMartian (p.145)

When Mike and I first became followers of Christ, we removed everything from our lives that had anything to do with our past.  We didn't hang out with our friends that didn't understand our "new life" or do anything that we used to do.  I tried to look like what I was told a Christian woman should look and began to mold myself into what others said I should be, instead of what God had created me to be.  While some of those things needed to be expelled from our life, there were other things we just got rid of because we needed time to heal and didn't know how to handle everything.

I've described it like shoving things into a closet and closing the door to "that life".  We wanted to just "start over" and so we shoved things into a closet and slammed the door.  Over the past year, some of the things of our past have come up again.  For me, it was hard because while not everything was "bad", to me it was all one thing.  Like opening up a closet that had everything shoved into it, I felt as if we let one thing out, then we'd have EVERYTHING else follow.  And so, Mike and I had to spend time going through our stuff and put our past into boxes, talking over some hurts and healing things that had never really been dealt with.  As we put things back into the closet (neatly labeled) we knew there were things that wouldn't come out until the time was right, while other things were now able to be a part of our life again.

There are things from Mike's past that have hurt me and our marriage as well.  Being divorced brings all kinds of things into a marriage that are difficult.  I know Mike's past has also caused some of my fears for the present.  Ladies, regardless of what your husband's past holds, pray for not only your husband to be released from it, but for you to be released from it as well.  How horrible it is for our husband to be "freed" from his past, only for us to keep drudging it up!  DO NOT BE THE ONE TO THROW YOUR HUSBAND'S PAST IN HIS FACE!  Even if it's just yesterday that he struggled with something!

Mike and I cannot forget our past... it's made us who we are... it's the very reason we have the passion for Christ that we do, and what brings glory to God.  We need to share it with our children or they will never have a passion for others who were like us.  They will become complacent Christians who are numb to the pain and loneliness that others experience because they think God could never love them.

I pray for my children to have a different testimony than Mike's or mine.  I never want them to go through what we've went through... but THROUGH our stories, I pray that they will continue a legacy that reaches out beyond their comfort zone and challenges them to go where sin lives and free another captive...

Mike and I have regrets because of our past... but we also know that God can make even the most sinful situations and use them to bring Him glory... we are proof of that.  Mike and I have a passion to let others know that they're never "too far gone" or "too bad"... no matter what... God loves them... period.  And it's because of our past that  we are willing to go wherever He says and do whatever He wants.  It's an amazing thing when God takes someone out of bondage and frees them.  But it's truly awesome when He calls that person back into the depths of that sin where there are more captives, so they can be freed as well! 

Dear Heavenly Father, I pray for You to free my husband from any thoughts that he's "not good enough" to do Your work.  Do not let the enemy take him captive and drag him down.  You have freed him and he is Your son, seeking to bring You glory.  Give him the strength to be who You desire for him to be, free from any discouraging thoughts from his past. May he regard the past as only a history lesson and not a guide for his daily life (p.146).  Give him the courage to share his story with others and bring those people forward that need to know that You love them, where ever they're at... despite what they're doing... in all circumstances... YOU LOVE THEM.  Use my husband and his past to bring You glory.  I also pray for the things of his past to have no hold on him.  Break any chains of the past as a child, teen, or adult that may still have a grip on his heart.  Help him to forgive anything or anyone that hurt him so he can completely be healed and move into the life You have for him. In Jesus' name, Amen.

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It's not too late to join us for the month of June as we pray for our husbands!  You can check out more about it by clicking the following link: S.H.M.I.L.Y. for 30 days of prayer...  Please share a link to your blog post if you've made one on this chapter!