When deciding to do BOOT CAMP, I first needed to get a grip on "life".  I'd found that I'd slipped into a mentality that homeschoolers often suffer from... I'd begun to get so focused on accomplishing "school" that I'd let the most important part slip... our hearts.  "Keep vigilant watch over your heart; that's where life starts."  Prov. 4:23 (The Message)

The Lord ever so gently   (a;skldfj;asdlfjk) began to reveal to me that I wasn't following His will for His children's lives... and that it needed to change.  You see, I'm a "check-list" kinda gal.  I write my list of goals for the day and check them off as they get done.  Homeschooling had become the same way.  Math... check, language arts... check, a child sick... a little science here... check, three year old having a "bad day"... a little history there... check, mom having a bad day as children are lacking discipline and mom begins to just try to keep up... math (barely)... check, phonics (grumbling)... check... way behind... skip the "character training"... mom frustrated everyone's behind and children are arguing... cycle continues... mom is loosing it (on many levels) and before you know it... school is no longer any fun for anyone, and the enemy is finding "footholds" everywhere.  (In your anger do not sin.  Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.  Eph. 4:26-27)

Where do you start when things have fallen so far behind?  I mean, de-cluttering a home can be a big enough task... but what do you do when the HEARTS need to be cleaned?  I prayed asking the Lord for help and the answers I needed, and knew only He could give... after all, He was the One to bring it to my attention.  He certainly wasn't going to tell me that I was raising these children wrong and then not help me to get back on track.  I trusted He would reveal the answers to me... and He did.

The first problem the Lord revealed to me was... me... yes, me.  In dealing with my childrens' hearts, the Lord told me that first I needed to change my heart.  I had slipped in my relationship with Him and had begun a real regular "S.O.S" kind of relationship with the Creator of the Universe... you know... "Lord, give me the strength"... "Lord, give me the patience"...  "Lord, give me this"... "Lord, give me that"...  I knew He was there, but I was only turning to Him in need and no longer walking with Him throughout my day.  I may have known what was right, but I wasn't applying it anymore. "...faith without works is dead also." James 2:26

I knew I needed to renew my relationship and spend time with the Lord, but had no idea where that time was going to come.  I was drowning the way it was... time slipped from my fingers like sand every moment... Things had gotten so bad... but looking back, I wonder if that was the point... I mean, was I brought to the bottom so I had to look up?  "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you."  Matthew 6:33 

So, I prayed... and prayed some more... I didn't just ask for help, but sought Him and what He wanted me to do... not what I thought needed to be done.  You see, in trying to get things back on track, it's crucial to know that YOU will never be able to do it.  Oh sure, you may get it together for awhile... it may seem like you have it under control even... but the Lord knows our hearts... He searches them ("...for the LORD searches every heart and understands every motive behind the thoughts. If you seek him, he will be found by you..."  1 Chronicles 28:9 (NIV)).  You will never be able to do the work of the Lord by yourself and if you want to raise Godly children... you must seek God.

I began reading the books by Stormie Omartian, Power of a Praying Woman, Power of a Praying Wife, and Power of a Praying Parent, as well as praying specifically for the Lord to reveal what needed to be done to get my home and our hearts in order.  After a week of committed nightly prayer, the Lord began revealing some of the changes that needed to occur in our home, our hearts, and our curriculum... but that's in the next post (this is getting long)! 

For now, if you're someone who is struggling with the same issues I'd been having, please take time to do your own "self-evalution" test and then "P.U.S.H." to hear what the Lord begins to reveal to you.  May the Lord be glorified as we strive to tend hearts that He will be pleased with as they stand before Him one day... the same hearts He entrusted to us today.

In Him,
Amy

Read how our journey began, then follow along as we continue reviving the heartbeat in our home through BOOT CAMP!