• Tuesday, April 4, 2006 - Boot Camp and The Challenge...
So I haven't forgotten about "BOOT CAMP"... in fact, we're in full swing as we set out to finish The Clean Heart, Clean Home Challenge. It got to be a bigger thing than I anticipated, so the "Boot Camp" posts are on hold for now. The challenge really runs together with the challenge, and with baby on the way, I just can't keep up with both for now. We're working on our hearts, as well as our home (and I'm working on a curriculum idea with the kiddos for their hearts as well). So, for now you can find me doing The Challenge with my kids, cleaning our hearts and home!
Now, take your "NEED To" List and PRIORITIZE it. (Don't forget to pray about what the LORD wants as a priority!) You can print out the "NEED To" List - Prioritized if you'd like. You can number this, but it's not necessary. What you're trying to do is just keep the things that NEED to get done at the top of the list. This isn't saying that the things at the bottom aren't important, but it will help you in the next step figuring out the schedule.
This step might also help you realize what the most important thing in your life is. This was a real eye-opener for me when I did this. I wanted my children to have relationship with Christ and grow into mature Christians, but our devotion/Bible time was getting placed last (in the evenings) or worse yet, if the day got away from me, we weren't doing it at all. I was unintentionally conveying a message to my children that was hypocritical. I told my children how important God was, but I wasn’t showing it in my own actions. Now, I realize some of you may really enjoy having some devotion/Bible time with your children before their bedtime. I am NOT saying that is bad, but, I know how much better my day starts when I begin with the Lord. If I’d like my children to do that as adults, then I should be helping that habit be built now. (“Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6 (NKJ)). I still am reading to them at night and ending on a note with the Lord, but it's made a big difference to put the Lord in the beginning of the day as well.
Another idea that you might like to add to your "NEED To" list is something I got from Terri Maxwell's book, "Managers of Their Homes" that I loved. She spoke about having "together time" for her children, which was a time that two siblings got to spend together. I loved the idea of my children getting one on one time with each other instead of having all of their play time together. I know that it's been great for my two older boys, as well as my girls to spend time enjoying each other and building that bond. It's also been great for me to schedule in together time for an older sibling to be with my one year old when I'm doing school work with a child that can't be interrupted. It's really a great idea all the way around! (Thanks Terri!!!)
STEP 4:
Start with a blank schedule divided into half hour increments (decide when your day will begin and go from there) as well as each day of the week. Then pray for the Lord to "fill in the blanks" (If you'd like, take a look at my schedule. I didn't write the names of my children, but used their birth orders instead).
Look at your prioritized list and pencil in the things at the top of your list first. Now, just because something is at the top of the list, does not neccessarily mean that you have to do it first thing in the morning. The "NEED To" list is prioritized so you start placing those things into your schedule first. That way they will not be forgotten.
Another thing I must add here is this… some women are early risers, and some are not. (As some are night owls, and some are not.) In having your schedule, you will be able to look and see what you can, or can’t, fit into your day. Please don’t try and be something you’re not for the sake of trying to “fit it all in”. What I mean by that is, I had a schedule once that would’ve been great if I just could’ve been consistent in waking up at 6am. I am not a morning person, however, and my husband is also a night owl, so I was staying up with him at night, and then completely exhausted in the morning. The days with the kids were suffering because I felt like such a failure when I couldn't get out of bed at the "scheduled" time I'd given myself. Every day started out on a bad note. When I made my recent schedule, I took that into account. As much as I strive to be a Proverbs 31 woman (“She gets up while it is still dark…” Proverbs 31:15 (NIV)), I know that I am supposed to take care of myself as well, and being completely sleep deprived doesn’t do anything to help with the heartbeat of my home! You need to do what will be best for the heartbeat of YOUR home. Don’t do what someone else is doing, and don’t feel bad if you’re not a morning person, or vice-versa. You are the manager of your home, and the Lord will help you to run it smoothly. Asking those around you can be helpful, but remember, the Lord already knows the best way to run your home, so why not just ask Him?
STEP 5:
After praying each night about it (taking up to a week if you'd like), try a “trial run schedule” that includes school, chores, and most importantly... time with God. When I did this with my schedule, I was amazed at how the Lord had completely revamped my "old ideas" about our homeschool schedule, and given me a fresh start with a heart excited to try and make it work. ("He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire: he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand." Psalm 40:2 (NIV)). Our trial week had some changes that needed to be made as well, but I kept seeking the Lord for the answers and for patience. I kept the schedule on the fridge for everyone to see, and if something wasn’t working or we did something else, I penciled it in (if I knew what I needed to do) or just circled that time frame to pray about what the Lord wanted me to change.
Another very important thing to remember is: this is new to your children as well. You can’t expect everything to fall into place and be perfect right away. It’s going to take some time. Don’t get discouraged and remember your main focus (God) and why you began BOOT CAMP to begin with (to better tend the hearts of your children, as well as maintain the heartbeat of your home… and in that order!). When the first week is done, you should have a much better idea as to what is or isn’t working. Don't get stressed, frustrated, or disappointed if there were struggles. Things worth having are worth fighting for, and I'm sure you would agree that your children are definitely worth it!
STEP 6:
After your trial week is over, sit back down with your schedule and figure out what changes need to be made. Look over the problems you had (and the things circled on your list) and ask yourself if the problems were a result of a bad time frame in the schedule, or just the heart of the child?
In my first week, I realized that I just didn’t have enough time spent with my two younger children in the morning. They had all kinds of things to keep them busy (together time individually with each older sibling and some educational TV), but they weren’t getting any time with me until later in the morning and it was showing in their attitudes. I changed a few things around in order to accommodate some “cuddle time” with them, and in the process they weren’t clingy and crabby in the late morning.
STEP 7:
After fixing any problems in the schedule, put it back up on the fridge (or where ever everyone can see it) and get ready for week two! Continue penciling in any changes that need to be made during that week as well. After the second week, you should be happy with the plan that is up, but if you’re not, then continue re-evaluating until you feel at peace. Take as long as you need, but if things aren't going well, it's probably more about what you're trying to fit in the schedule than anything else. Remember you're making something that will work for now, so if things are going well (even if it's the heart of the kids) then make THAT a priority and put it into the schedule. As things get better, you can change the schedule. Change with children is inevitable... accept it and embrace it!!! You can do this!
Don’t forget that “life” happens, and there will be days that things don’t go according to your “precise goal”. During those days remember that the Lord is still ultimately in charge. Find peace and comfort in knowing that He has it under control. Let Him control your life… NOT your schedule! If allowed, God will be the “heart” of your home, and a schedule planned by Him will keep the heart beat running smoothly.
In Him, Amy
Read how our journey began, then follow along as we continue reviving the heartbeat in our home through BOOT CAMP!
• Thursday, March 9, 2006 - Boot Camp - Pray & Make A Schedule: Part I
PRAY FIRST...
The next step in BOOT CAMP is to make a schedule. Now, some of you may literally break out in hives at the thought of a "schedule"... but if it's one thing I've learned, it's that when you fail to plan, you plan to fail... meaning that everyone has some sort of schedule. You wake up, you eat, you brush your teeth, you get dressed, you (or your husband) pay bills, you get the mail, you go to church, you pay taxes, ect. In your life, there are things that require your attention at given points throughout the day, month, or year. To each of these things, you set aside time to accomplish these things to make sure they get done or there will be consequences (especially on the bills!). Certainly our children are the most important things we have been given charge over. Planning time for the things that NEED to be accomplished in their lives is crucial... especially for the homeschool mom. We set the pace.
Now, there are those who follow a very precise schedule, while others are more comfortable with a relaxed goal. I've tried both ways, and for my family, a "precise goal" seems to be the best. You see, when I've tried to have a "precise schedule", I've gotten frustrated when I've gotten behind or when "life" happened and everything fell apart. Likewise, when I had a "relaxed plan" I found that when too much time was allowed for "free time", I spent more time breaking up arguments than getting anything worth while accomplished and I was even more frustrated!
With a "precise goal" I am still precise (definite, defined, clear-cut, specific) with what is to be accomplished, but I'm also reminded that it is just a goal (aspiration, target, intention, objective) that leaves room for the Lord to plan my day as He sees fit.
OOOOOOOOOOOOO... did you just cringe? Yes, I did just say that! In making any kind of a schedule you still MUST be willing to allow the Lord to plan your day. This will take daily prayer, as well as total submission. Every day you will need to surrender yourself, your plans, your children, and your day to Him.
I have a magnet on my fridge with a prayer I wrote (nothing like a little slap on the face from yourself every now and then right? ) to remind me every day what's truly important... (For those who would be interested in getting one of these... please email me.)
Okay... so you've prayed and surrendered, right? Before you go any further, you have to know that if you haven’t done the surrender part, then forget going on any further with this, cuz you're missin' the whole point! If you're unwilling for the Lord to mold your heart, how do you expect to be able to tend to the hearts of your children?! Spend time in prayer until you've reached the point where you completely understand that you are the Lord's to do with what He wills, and that while you may be the “mamma” of the house, it is the Lord who is the Heavenly Father to those children you love so dearly, and it was Him who gave you those precious lives to take care of.
To begin making a schedule, it’s important to think “big picture”. This has always been an area of struggle for me in particular, because I’m a “detail person”. Details are important, and we’ll get to that, but for now you must THINK BIG PICTURE! The reason I emphasize that so, is because I believe the majority of disorganized homeschool moms are disorganized because they are detail people. This is a wonderful attribute on many levels, but unfortunately, isn’t helpful when trying to create order in your homes. Detail people get caught up and spend too much time on one thing trying to get it right (or worse… “perfect”) and as a result, loose control over their entire home and get overwhelmed (yes, I’m speaking from experience and my husband has pictures to prove it!). If you are a detail person, pray for the Lord to help you to see His big picture and for you to be flexible!
To begin to restore order in your home, you need to take steps to make a schedule that creates "harmony" with God's plan for you and your family! This will not necessarily be easy for everyone. I have struggled with this since I began homeschooling 5 years ago. The MOST important thing to remember is to lean on the Lord for guidance and peace (“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)).
STEP 1:PRAY! PRAY! PRAY!
PRAY! (I know that sounds so simple, but if you don’t continually seek His guidance, you won’t be completely sure of what the Lord is telling you to do. You MUST have a relationship with Him and talk with and listen to Him throughout your day in order to know what His plans are for you and your family.)
STEP 2:Make a “NEED To” List
Make a list of everything that must be accomplished… not what YOU want to get done, but what NEEDS to get done. If you choose to use my “NEED To” List, then you’ll divide everything into three subjects of HOME, SCHOOL, and ACTIVITIES.
Some things to include in HOME would be: alone time with the Lord (if you don’t schedule this you may not find the time… this is definitely a NEED to thing!), breakfast, lunch, supper, laundry (be sure to put down “laundry” for each load you do in a day), and shower for you.
If you’re home has “fallen behind” and clutter is taking over, be sure to add that to your HOME list as well.I knew that I needed to have a section of time to clean in order to keep my home in working order.I’d also fallen behind in the laundry room and the kids’ closets.In making a time that I knew I would get to each thing, I felt better about them being that way for the time being, knowing that eventually I would get to them and still keep my schedule working.I would also suggest that while you’re making your list that you take a week to get as much picking up done in your home that you need (call in help from the kids for this) so that when you begin your schedule the following week, you can at least function.(This is great if this doesn’t apply to you, but I, for one had an overwhelming task ahead of me and knew there was some cleaning issues that needed to be taken care of first and I did that during the week of planning my schedule.)
In the SCHOOL list, keep in mind that if you have more than one child to list them separately when appropriate and together whenever that applies.For example, if two of your children are doing phonics together, but one isn’t, be sure to put “phonics – Sue and Beth” on the list as well as “lang. arts – Jim” (you are trying to keep this as easy as possible so group whenever you can).This may also apply to certain chores (my girls clean up their room together, as do the boys) and would be put under the HOME list.Do this for as many things as possible.This will help keep the “big picture” for now.
For the ACTIVITIES list, remember any recurring things throughout your week (such as AWANA, church, any sports activities, music lessons, ect.) To get you started and give you an idea of how to get it all started, feel free to refer to my “NEED To” List as an example, but please remember: this is your schedule for your home, so you need to seek what the Lord wants for you!
Take your time on this if you need to.When I did this, I sat down and wrote out a lot of “NEED to” things that were obvious, but throughout the following days, I kept the list handy. When I remembered something that needed to get done that wasn’t getting done, I wrote it down and continued to pray for the Lord to show me what He wanted me to accomplish.
Another thing to remember in making your list is; this is a list for NOW!This isn’t about what you’d like to see happen… this is what NEEDS to happen NOW!You’re taking the steps to get a schedule going in your home that will work right away (with the exception of a little trial and error).For those of us who seem to be in a constant state of change (having a child, nursing, or in the in-between stages), you must accept the fact that your schedule is going to change a lot over time, and may have to be revamped in a few months when the little one takes only one nap instead of two, ect.Embrace those changes, for they are your life!Don’t get frustrated.These steps are easily changed as your life requires.For the time being, just focus on NOW!
There is no need to prioritize this list… that comes next.For now, you are just seeking what the Lord wants.This is a good time to evaluate your curriculum choices as well as any extra curricular activities or chores you are involved in.For me it was a time to decide what I was going to use first.I have to confess; I am a “curriculum junkie” and have so many good things that have gone untouched. I had become overwhelmed with trying to get it all done and not doing anything well. I really needed to decide what I was going to start with, and then put the rest of the stuff away until I finish the first things! The list was the first step in making me feel better about our school, knowing that with a reasonable layout, we could get one thing done at a time, and eventually get to the other things after that. (You could also have a Yearly Planning Form at the beginning of each year that will help you in this area as well, but we're taking care of the present for now.)
Remember to keep this list as general as possible and with only the NEEDED things! I’ve included a sample of my list in the beginning stages. As you will find out (in the next post), the next step will be more of what you'd like to happen, and then we will be combining the lists and putting them into time frames. THEN we will begin working more on the details.For now, just try to think “BIG PICTURE”!
May God guide you through these first couple of steps, until the next post!
In Him,
Amy
Read how our journey began, then follow along as we continue reviving the heartbeat in our home through BOOT CAMP!
• Saturday, February 18, 2006 - Boot Camp : Self Evaluate... Then "P.U.S.H."
When deciding to do BOOT CAMP, I first needed to get a grip on "life". I'd found that I'd slipped into a mentality that homeschoolers often suffer from... I'd begun to get so focused on accomplishing "school" that I'd let the most important part slip... our hearts. "Keep vigilant watch over your heart; that's where life starts." Prov. 4:23 (The Message)
The Lord ever so gently (a;skldfj;asdlfjk) began to reveal to me that I wasn't following His will for His children's lives... and that it needed to change. You see, I'm a "check-list" kinda gal. I write my list of goals for the day and check them off as they get done. Homeschooling had become the same way. Math... check, language arts... check, a child sick... a little science here... check, three year old having a "bad day"... a little history there... check, mom having a bad day as children are lacking discipline and mom begins to just try to keep up... math (barely)... check, phonics (grumbling)... check... way behind... skip the "character training"... mom frustrated everyone's behind and children are arguing... cycle continues... mom is loosing it (on many levels) and before you know it... school is no longer any fun for anyone, and the enemy is finding "footholds" everywhere. (In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. Eph. 4:26-27)
Where do you start when things have fallen so far behind? I mean, de-cluttering a home can be a big enough task... but what do you do when the HEARTS need to be cleaned? I prayed asking the Lord for help and the answers I needed, and knew only He could give... after all, He was the One to bring it to my attention. He certainly wasn't going to tell me that I was raising these children wrong and then not help me to get back on track. I trusted He would reveal the answers to me... and He did.
SELF EVALUATION TEST
The first problem the Lord revealed to me was... me... yes, me. In dealing with my childrens' hearts, the Lord told me that first I needed to change my heart. I had slipped in my relationship with Him and had begun a real regular "S.O.S" kind of relationship with the Creator of the Universe... you know... "Lord, give me the strength"... "Lord, give me the patience"... "Lord, give me this"... "Lord, give me that"... I knew He was there, but I was only turning to Him in need and no longer walking with Him throughout my day. I may have known what was right, but I wasn't applying it anymore. "...faith without works is dead also." James 2:26
"P.U.S.H. " (Pray Until Something Happens)
I knew I needed to renew my relationship and spend time with the Lord, but had no idea where that time was going to come. I was drowning the way it was... time slipped from my fingers like sand every moment... Things had gotten so bad... but looking back, I wonder if that was the point... I mean, was I brought to the bottom so I had to look up? "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." Matthew 6:33
So, I prayed... and prayed some more... I didn't just ask for help, but sought Him and what He wanted me to do... not what I thought needed to be done. You see, in trying to get things back on track, it's crucial to know that YOU will never be able to do it. Oh sure, you may get it together for awhile... it may seem like you have it under control even... but the Lord knows our hearts... He searches them ("...for the LORD searches every heart and understands every motive behind the thoughts. If you seek him, he will be found by you..." 1 Chronicles 28:9 (NIV)). You will never be able to do the work of the Lord by yourself and if you want to raise Godly children... you must seek God.
I began reading the books by Stormie Omartian, Power of a Praying Woman, Power of a Praying Wife, and Power of a Praying Parent, as well as praying specifically for the Lord to reveal what needed to be done to get my home and our hearts in order. After a week of committed nightly prayer, the Lord began revealing some of the changes that needed to occur in our home, our hearts, and our curriculum... but that's in the next post (this is getting long)!
For now, if you're someone who is struggling with the same issues I'd been having, please take time to do your own "self-evalution" test and then "P.U.S.H." to hear what the Lord begins to reveal to you. May the Lord be glorified as we strive to tend hearts that He will be pleased with as they stand before Him one day... the same hearts He entrusted to us today.
In Him, Amy
Read how our journey began, then follow along as we continue reviving the heartbeat in our home through BOOT CAMP!
• Tuesday, February 7, 2006 - Introducing Boot Camp: Part II
BOOT CAMP has been just as tough on me as it has been on the kids... I think tougher really. Does anyone else struggle with being consistent?! It's always tough to get a new schedule going (I think I read once that you can expect about 2 weeks with young children)... but it's really been okay (yes, I know it's only Tuesday but I'm being optimistic here!).
I also turned off my hubby's laptop that sits on the coffee table upstairs... I didn't realize the little tidbits of time that I used up during the day to check on posts, comment on others', or check emails... I know there's been a couple of times that I feel like I don't know what to do next, and realize it must have been during those "little time frames" that I sat to check out the computer...
So... in being a "good example" to my children... I won't be online until the evenings when I've given time to myself to pray and then use the computer. I wasn't on a lot before... in fact, I rarely posted in the evening... I usually saved that for comments. I did my writing during the day, but that's going to change for now. I may even miss a couple of days... but my family is my first ministry and I need to make my house a home.
So... I just wanted to let you all know what was happening here. Hope things are going well for you and yours! I'm looking forward to sharing more with you soon!
In Him,
Amy
Read how our journey began, then follow along as we continue reviving the heartbeat in our home through BOOT CAMP!
and a woman seeking the Lord's Will (daily), a wife (striving to keep the romance alive), a "Smamma" (Step- mother) of one and a homeschooling mom of seven (I was never going to have children), who starts every day over (after messing SOME thing up the day before), knowing God's grace is overflowing (just like my laundry), and so thankful He's blessed me more than I'll ever deserve.
) to remind me every day what's truly important... (For those who would be interested in getting one of these... please email me.)
(a;skldfj;asdlfjk) began to reveal to me that I wasn't following His will for 
