I checked emails this morning (thank you to those who left comments or emailed me, lifting me in prayer) and I went to a blog for church planting wives. I've been there before, but currently Jen (wife of Vince Antonucci) is in the process of getting ready to move from Florida (and their current church plant) to Las Vegas to begin another church plant.
Her post, WHISPERS, touched my heart... and was exactly what I needed to hear. I already know I'm not alone... I know God is with me... but to be reminded that there are others who have an understanding of what it is to go through this... to know that it's possible to be on the brink of depression at the overwhelming future while still being excited about sharing Christ with others. (For those of you who are church planters, and especially church planters' wives, check her blog out!)
As I learn more and more about church planting, I think it may best be described as a roller coaster ride. I'm not sure what lies ahead or when the ride when come to a close, but for the moment, it's nice to know that while I'm on that ride, there are others in the seats with me going through the ups and downs as well.
I'm tired of pretending everything is okay... it's not okay, and while I know that everything will be just as God planned, there are days when that just isn't comforting to me. There are days when I'm still scared and have no idea why it is that my family is going through this... why it is that the Lord has chosen us for this. There are days when it's just too hard and it doesn't seem fair while we watch the world go by for others completely unaware of the turmoil we're experiencing at any given moment.
Sometimes things are so good, and I forget... until I'm here again in the depths of this pit that I can't seem to find my way out of... and it's here that the enemy laughs and dances and I fight to hold onto the Truth because it's only through Him that I will ever be able to go on and find my way through.
I know I can't do this alone... and yet sometimes I feel as though I have no one... and I know that He's there... I know it in my mind... sometimes though, it's so far from my heart.
Lord, I have no idea why You've chosen me for this life... for these circumstances. And Lord, I have no idea how I will ever measure up to what these roles demand... church planter's wife and homeschooling mom are more than I ever would have dared to venture in... and yet, here I am absolutely sinking in such overwhelming waters. Lord, calm my spirit... hold my head above the water so I might see a glimpse of the promised land to come...
• Saturday, August 2, 2008 - Ragamuffin Top Challenge: WEEK TEN
Weeks nine and ten haven't been very "diet-i-ish" and so it's really time to get back on the wagon... I've realized that I do NOT do things well over long periods of time. I knew this about myself already, but now I can include "diet" to that list. (I'm a starter... a "get on board" kind of gal, get it going, then hand it off to someone else to maintain or finish, hence the reason for the Clean Heart Clean Home Challenge & Colossal Clutter Clean Up!)
So, here's the re-cap: New Goal weight: under 125 lbs.
Start weight: 131.5
Week One: 132
Week Two: 131
Week Three: 130.5
Week Four: 129
Week Five: 125.5
Week Six: 129
Week Seven: 128
Week Eight: 127.5
Week Nine: 127
And (drum roll please) ......................................................
Week Ten: 130
Also, I started keeping track of the waist loss late in the challenge, so here's the re-cap on that: Goal waist: 25"
Start waist: 35.5"
Week One: 34"
Week Two: 34"
Week Three: 33.5"
Week Four: 33.5"
(Couldn't find tape measure... um, maybe time to have a cleaning challenge as well?)
Week Six: 35"
Goals for next week:
Drinking only water for liquids for the week
Fruit for breakfast, salad for lunch, reasonable portions of food for supper
Treadmill - 1 mile every day
Sit-ups - 25 then rest for a minute (do this 3 times each day)
Work on triceps (or flying flab) with the 2lb weight (25 reps while laying down with arms above head)
So how is everyone else doing on this? I'm getting frustrated... I guess I can't expect the weight to just "fall" off, but I have! So it's time for a crash course here (as much as I can because of sweet nursing baby) and get SERIOUS! I'm looking at these next two weeks as a new beginning instead of the ridiculously lagging event it's become! I guess I've also learned that since I'm a procrastinator, I will wait until the last minute before really getting serious... so, here goes! Bring it on weeks 11 and 12! I am seriously going to beat you with the numbers! I don't know what they're going to be... but they are going to be less!!!
Would you like to join us in the RagamuffinTop Challenge to get in shape? Click the link to find out how... and to see how I've been doing, you can go to my Weight Loss Challenge.
and a woman seeking the Lord's Will (daily), a wife (striving to keep the romance alive), a "Smamma" (Step- mother) of one and a homeschooling mom of seven (I was never going to have children), who starts every day over (after messing SOME thing up the day before), knowing God's grace is overflowing (just like my laundry), and so thankful He's blessed me more than I'll ever deserve.
