As we prepare to plant a church, I have to say the hardest thing so far has been the roller coaster ride that we've been on.  The ups and downs have come in swells, and some days I'm completely overwhelmed and exhausted.

The other day we sold our pool, and as the man that bought it was taking it down, a part of me was sad as another item was leaving our home.  Yet, my older boys were out there helping in any way they could.  As I watched the man out the front window leave with the pool in the back of his truck, I wondered what else we would have to let go before it's all done.  Feeling sorry for myself, I went to do dishes and looked out into the backyard expecting to see a "hole" where the pool used to be... but instead, I saw all of the kids (including the baby that had been brought out with his older sister) playing in the sand that had been placed under the pool to make sure it was level.

My four-year old came running into the kitchen out of breath and filled with excitement, "MO-O-O-O-M! We have a HU-U-U-U-GE sandbox!  I've always wanted a sandbox!"  Just as fast as he'd come, he was gone... leaving me standing there dumbfounded.

As I looked out the window again, I saw smiles on every face of my children... even the 12 year old.  They had shovels and spoons, buckets and bowls and they were having a blast... and then it hit me.  I had been so worried about letting that pool go, that I'd never given any thought to that sand that was underneath, or the fact that the kids have been asking for a sandbox for years.

And then... I thought about our life right now... and I wondered how many other things that I've been holding on to... when all the while the Lord has something better for me in mind... but I'm unwilling to let go.  How many times have I missed the blessing that would come as a result of something else leaving?  How many times have I thought that I knew better... instead of relying on Him to know what's best for me?

Things haven't been easy on this path toward church planting... I plan to share some of our amazing blessings and deep struggles over time... but for now... at this very moment, I'm promising God that I will praise Him when it's good... and I will praise Him when it's bad... from here on out  no matter how hard that might be... because He is God, and none of my circumstances will ever change that or what He did for me because of His love.

Praise You in This Storm by Casting Crowns

I think one of the biggest challenges I face on a daily basis is "being real"... and knowing what that means while so many are looking... evaluating... asking... and waiting to see what my life is really like.  It's a lot of pressure and sometimes I just want to hide...

And then I come across someone who dares to be real too... despite of all their failures... and I'm challenged again to live a life of authenticity... regardless of those who may condemn... because my life is not about them... it's not even about me...

It's all about Him...