I grew up praying every night before bed, sometimes before a meal, and whenever there was something bad going on.  I knew very little about praising God or thanking Him for anything... my prayers were basically out of fear of something happening, and there wasn't any kind of "relationship" with the Lord.  So, when I started having children, my prayers remained similar... "protect them from this"... "help them with that"... "keep them safe"...

Prayer is much more than just giving a list of desires to God, as if He were the great Sugar Daddy/Santa Claus in the sky.  Prayer is acknowledging and experience the presence of God and inviting His presence into our lives and circumstances.  It's seeking the presence of God and releasing the power of God which gives us the means to overcome any problem.  -Stormie OMartian (p.19)

When I began to understand prayer more and realized that God not only loved my children more than me, but had a plan and knew what was best for them, I began to change the way I prayed.  Instead of praying for what I WANTED for them... I began praying for me to know what it was that God created them for and for the wisdom to know how to guide them best.  SO MUCH changed after that... did I still pray for protection?  You better believe it!  But now I was working WITH God for the best for my children... and God and I became a team in raising them.  You see, as much as my husband and I can talk about and decided how we'll raise our children... GOD KNOWS what He created our children to be... so He already has the answers... we just have to seek Him to know what to do.  I don't have to try and figure out what each child would be best at... what career they should go into... or even what they should do after they leave home... Those are NOT my decisions to make.

Now, I'd like to tell you that I've been happy with all of the ways in which God has answered my prayers and that I've always gotten my way... but that's just not the case.  I've questioned God and cried over the answers He's given to some of the prayers for my children.  No parent wants to see their child hurt or in pain, and yet, there have been times in which I've had to endure such an answer.  Some I have later understood, and others I may never understand... but one thing I must always remember is that God has a purpose for each of my children and He is preparing them every day through every experience for THEIR future, and it is that future that I approach the very throne of God on their behalf.

It's not enough t o pray only for the concerns of the moment; we need to pray for the future, and we need to pray against the effects of past events.  -Stormie OMartian (p.21)

I have also had our share of unanswered prayers in another way, as I've prayed for my step-son  to make the "right" choices or been hurt by his words.

Possibly the hardest part of praying for our children is waiting for our prayers to be answered... Sometimes, in spite of all we've done for them and all our prayers for them, our children make poor choices and then reap the consequences.  Those time are hard for a parent to watch, no matter how old the child...  Instead of giving up, resolve to be even more committed to prayer... Stand strong and say, "I've only begun to fight," keeping in mind that your part of the fight is to pray.  God actually fights the battle.  Remember, too, that your fight is not with your child, it's with the devil  He is your enemy, not your child.  Stand strong in prayer until you see a breakthrough in your child's life.  -Stormie OMartian (p.27-28)

Another thing I think is so important to remember when praying for our children is to be aware of our hearts when praying about our children...

If you have anger of unforgiveness toward God or your child --- yes, even loving parents can have these feelings --- tell God in total honesty.  If you feel disappointment and hopelessness, state it clearly.  Don't live with negative emotions and guilt that can separate you from God.  Share all of your feelings honestly with Him and then ask Him to forgive you and show you what your next step should be.  Above all, don't let any disappointment over unanswered prayer cause you to stop praying.  -Stormie OMartian (p.28)

Stormie mentions making a list for her children that she would add to about specific prayer requests as they arose.  I recently bought a notebook for each child that I am going to write in to my children for them to have later in life.  In it, I want to include prayers I pray for them.  I'm excited to start this and since I have so many children, one thing I want to do is to write in their notebook on the date they were born on (since each of them have a different birth date).  I still plan on writing when there are things that arise, but this will help me to set time aside as well.

Whether you write your prayers for your children to read later in life or keep a list, the point is simply to be covering your children in prayer.  I know that we have went through some very scary and difficult times with our children, but knowing that I'd covered the situation in prayer, I knew that God was in control and that things were playing out as they should.  There is a peace in that that only comes from God.

It's never too late (or too early) to start praying for your children...

Dear Heavenly Father, Thank You so much for the gift of my children!  I am so glad that Your plan prevailed over mine to never have children.  You have blessed me and taught me so much through being a mother and I pray that I will be the mother You desire me to be.  Help me to know what each of my children were created for and never let my wants or desires for them to supercede Your plans for them.  Give me wisdom, patience, and love on a daily (and sometimes minute to minute) basis as I raise these precious lives You've entrusted me with.  I also pray that You would make sure my husband and I are unified in our decisions on our children.  Lord, I don't always understand the way You answer my prayers... but I know that You are always at work.  I pray that You would give me peace even through the storms of parenting.  I give You back my precious children, Joseph, Nikolas, Izak, Gabrielle, Izabella, Jediah, Judah and Ezra as well as the unborn life inside me and trust You to make me the mom that each of them needs.  In Jesus' name, Amen.

It's not too late to join us as we pray for our children!  You can check out more about it by clicking the following link: S.H.M.I.L.Y. for 30 days of prayer for praying parents... Please share a link to your blog post if you've made one on this chapter!

It's the best of jobs.  It's the most difficult of jobs.  It can bring you the greatest joy.  It can cause the greatest pain.  There is nothings as fulfilling and exhilarating.  There's nothing so depleting and exhausting.  No area of your life can make you feel more liek a success when everything is going well.  No area of your life can make you feel more like a failure when things go wrong.  PARENTING!  -Stormie OMartian (p.15)

Stormie doesn't waste any time in bringing us all together as parents huh?  We've all experienced "those days" and it's comforting to know that even though we may have different lives, when it comes to parenting, there are still some very common factors we all share, regardless of the amount of children, how we raise them, or even our ages.  Being a parent brings us together in so many ways...

My first experience of being a "mom" was actually with my step-son at the ripe old age of... 18.  I was just out of high school and if you ask anyone that knew me from back then... well, I was NEVER going to have children so I was a LITTLE inexperienced.  (I can even count on one hand how many kids I ever babysat for.)  I had NO desire to "settle" for being a mom... and I had much "bigger" plans for MY future...

...and then everything changed... and somehow my life took on a different look... and I found myself in VERY unfamiliar and unrehearsed territory...

There's something "special" about being a step-parent, and I learned the true meaning of love and hurt in short order.  The more I fell in love with my husband, the more I fell in love with his son... and my heart ached when we would take Joe back to his mom's every other weekend.  I thought I would die the first summer that Joe left us after he'd come to stay with us and then went back to his mom's for the school year (they lived an hour away).  I didn't know how I was going to handle being a mom and the hurt that came with it.

I began to realize, however, that because of my love for Joe and the man I'd married, that I wanted to have children... to leave something behind that showed our love for each other, and so we got pregnant with our first child, Nikolas.  I can honestly say, I had NO idea that we would have as many children as we do now... (which is another story for another time) but just as with becoming a parent to begin with, I'm so glad and thankful that it's God's plan that prevailed and not my own.

I can add to that statement, that if it weren't for God and my relationship with Him, I never would have had so many children.  After my first couple of kids, along with a step-son I didn't see all the time, I realized that being a parent was a daunting task and one I just couldn't control like I thought.  I worried constantly about them getting sick or hurt, and since I was at home full-time (with the exception of owning a pawn shop with Mike that I would bring the kids to a few days a week) I put a lot of pressure on myself to be "the best mom" there was because so many people thought I'd settled for less by being "just a mom".

But everything about being a mom was new to me... it's just not a role I'd ever pictured myself in... and so I tried so hard to be "perfect" and get it right...

We try to do the best we can raising our children.  Then, just when we think we've got the parenting terrain all figured out, we suddenly find ourselves in new territory again as each new age and stage presents another set of challenges.  Sometimes we sail through smoothly.  Sometimes we encounter tempests and tidal waves.  Sometimes we get so tired that we just want to give up --- let the storm take us where it will... (but) we don't have to be tossed and turned by these winds of change.  Our children's lives don't ever have to be left to chance. 

We don't have to pace the floor anxiously, biting our nails, gnawing our knuckles, dreading the terrible twos or torturous teen.  We don't have to live in fear of what each new phase of development may bring, what dangers might be lurking behind every corner.  Nor do we have to be perfect parents.  We can start right now --- this very minute, in fact --- making a positive difference in our child's future.  It's never too early and never too late.  It doesn't matter if the child is three days old and perfect, or thirty years old and going through a third divorce because of an alcohol problem.  At every stage of their lives our children need and will greatly benefit from our prayers.  The key is not trying to do it all be ourselves all at once, but rather turning to the expert parent of all time --- our Father God --- for help.  Then, taking one step at a time, we must cover every detail of our child's  life in prayer.  There is great power in doing that, far beyond what most people imagine.  In fact, don't ever under-estimate the power of a praying parent.  -Stormie OMartian (p.15-16)

When I read those words for the first time and it sank into my heart... I knew I had a lot of work to do... because in order for me to experience freedom in parenting... I needed to release my children to the One who gave them to me... and THAT wasn't going to be easy.  I mean, I knew God was in charge... I knew that He loved my children... but as much as I'd dedicated their lives to the Lord, I was still holding on just enough for myself.

Day by day, one prayer at a time, I gave my children back to the Lord and opened myself up to what God wanted me to teach them and train them for... and it WAS freeing.  It wasn't that I loved my children less, but instead, experienced more understanding of God's love not only for my children, but me as well.

But that realization was only the first step... then I had to learn HOW to pray for my children... and THAT was even more eye opening... 

Part II coming soon...
It's not too late to join us as we pray for our children!  You can check out more about it by clicking the following link: S.H.M.I.L.Y. for 30 days of prayer for praying parents... Please share a link to your blog post if you've made one on this chapter!