Jul. 30, 2008 - If the ax is dull...
If the ax is dull and it's edge unsharpened, more strength is needed, but skill will bring success. Ecclesiastes 10:10
As I read this verse yesterday I couldn't help but think about what it meant. It didn't mean, throw away the ax and go buy a new one. It didn't mean just give up, it's hopeless. It means it takes more strength and knowlege, but you can succeed, even with worthless tools.
As I read this verse I realized that there is no excuse for a home in disorder because it's small, or because it isn't arranged in a manner that makes sense. There is no excuse because "my house makes it hard to keep clean". No, it just means that I have to have more strength and diligence and that I have to learn more. I need to seek out solutions to work with what I have.
So my interpretations of this verse today is:
If my house is small and arranged poorly, more strength and energy is needed, but with skill I can have an orderly home.
What do you think? Does God give us an excuse, or does He make it clear we need to stop whining
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Jan. 29, 2008 -
Psalm 23
A psalm of David.
1 The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. 2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
3 he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.
4 Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
6 Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.
Do you ever get tired of this chapter? I don't. This morning while making pancakes for breakfast, I was listening to Keith Green's version of this verse. I paused and actually thought about the words, the meaning. I may be in a valley right now, but I don't have to fear because,
"Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever."
Now, what could be better than that?
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Dec. 3, 2007 - I had a dream
Lately I have been feeling pretty beaten down emotionally. I have been feeling like I'm failing in every area at the same time, and that I kept repeating the same habitual sins over and over again. My head knows the Lord forgives me and loves me, but my heart keeps forgetting. I even started to wonder if I was even truly saved. Not happy emotions to be dealing with especially at this time of the year when we are especially celebrating Jesus.
God is so good though. He touched my heart in a dream. Now, lest you think I'm one of those that is always having dreams, and "feelings" I am totally not. It is very rare. Maybe once every 10 years, lol. Anyway, in my dream He was yearning for me, calling me, loving me. I can't really put it into words. But I can say that as I woke up I had tears of joy, knowing I'm a child of God. I know He hasn't forgotten me. I know that He loves me and even wants me, despite all of the rotten things I do. God is so good!
I have to say, that no gift anyone could give me can compare to the dream the Lord gave me last night.
Thank you Jesus.
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Nov. 28, 2007 - Why is it....
Today I am thankful for...
The hallway being primed and ready to be painted (Thanks to my son E, who helped tremendously)
Today's verse to meditate on...
If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!
Ecclesiastes 4:10
In the kitchen...
Homemade Bread
Crafting today...
Loom knit hanging toothbrush/toothpaste caddy
Projects working on today...
Sanding, texturing and priming hallway
Prayer requests...
-For my sister, she is in process to be approved for dissability. She needs approval badly as she can't work, they should know this next month
-Our finances, it's slow at dh's work right now. He had to come home early again today. I'm just trying to trust the Lord to make our bills this month.
-For peace in my heart during this stormy valley in our life.
Why is it, that the older I get the more childish I become? What is up with that? Lately I have been very discouraged and feeling like the weight of the entire earth is on my shoulders (yeah, I have a martyr complex, lol). So, my husband and I were talking before he went off to work this morning and he just bluntly spoke the truth. Now, this isn't the truth I wanted to hear. I wanted flowery words, cuddles, and comfort. With some sympathy and admiration for all I'm going through. As if he isn't going through the same thing. Well, I did not get any of that. He spoke the truth and then out the door to work he went. Now after he left, did I sit and ponder the truth to his words. No, of course not. I pouted and justified my wants/desires and excuses. I kept on thinking that I was miffed and I didn't even want to talk to my dh. Please keep in mind that I am the type that can NEVER stay upset at anyone. I can't do the silent treatment at all. Which I guess is a pretty good thing, since it's wrong, lol. So, my husbands first break rolls around and he doesn't call me. So, then I get hurt! I mean, am I in the first grade or what???
Now don't get me wrong. I want to be as a child in some areas. I want to follow Jesus with a childlike faith. I want to live each day with the joy of a child. Just over the weekend, I was driving with my 6 year old. We drove by a Burger King, and my little girl asked what kind of milkshakes they sell there. I was off in my mind worrying about anything and everything, so I absently told her that they probably had vanilla, chocolate and strawberry there. She got SO excited. I was so struck with the wonder and excitement that she has over everything. There is nothing special about their flavor selection, but to her it was very special and exciting.
I want to live with that kind of child likeness. But I don't want to act like a 6 year old in my emotions to my sweet husband.
So, it turns out that when my husband came home from work early and I started painting primer in my hallway, that the Lord finally got me to stop pouting and to humbly give some thought to what my husband had said. He was right, I was wrong. My heart wanted tenderness and to be treated like a fragile treasure. But my heart needed a swift kick.
I am so glad that the Lord put me with the man I needed and not with who I would have thought I wanted. God is so good.
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Nov. 27, 2007 - Feeling Low
Today I am thankful for...
God's grace and strength
Today's verse to meditate on...
Be merciful to me, O LORD, for I am in distress;
my eyes grow weak with sorrow,
my soul and my body with grief.
Psalm 31:9
In the kitchen...
Chicken Soup and fresh bread
Crafting today...
Dolly blanket and pillow
Mitten
Projects working on today...
Patching, sanding and cleaning hallway and kitchen walls
Prayer requests...
My sister's health...
Strength and encouragement for me, I am very discouraged this week...
That I can get my home in order quickly (painting increases the dissarray)
So today I will continue working on prepping the walls for priming and paint. It is lots of work because our walls are in such a sorry state. I am thankful that I have chosen the worst walls to start with. The other walls will be much easier to do.
I am having a hard time right now balancing everything. I'm afraid that my school plate is falling right now. Right this moment my heart is hurting and I'm having a hard time even having faith that things will get better. Usually I remind myself that the Lord always brings joy in the valleys right when we need it most. But right now I don't seem to have even the strength to walk in that faith right now. If you happen to think of me today please say a prayer that my faith will be strengthened and that the Lord will encourage my heart in His special way....
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Nov. 20, 2006 - Today I Realized Something
Today I realized that I keep people at arms reach. I love people, and want to bless them and be close to them. But when they get too close, I panic and back off. I'm afraid they will realize I am far from perfect and then hurt me. Of course it's obvious that I am far from perfect, everyone is, but it really hurts to be attacked because of it. I have been hurt deeply by others because of my failings, or perceived failings.
I was born a timid soul, but I think it was made worse when I was a young mother attending a certain church. I was snubbed and treated very badly because my child wasn't a perfect angel at church. This was when my firstborn was only 2 or 3 years old, and very strong-willed. We had quite a drive to church back then, and by the time we got there, my boys were already cranky. Top that off with a long service, and a naturally strong-willed child, and you have misery spelled out for everyone. Many times I spent the service in the car with my boy who was unconsolable, basically because he was tired, and honestly so was I.
Several of the ladies in the church ostracized me because of my child's behavior. These were women who had children even younger than mine and lived close to church. Yes, my son was doing wrong, and I had a difficult time learning how to cope with it. But I did pretty good back then, looking back. But I was far from the perfect mother, and I still am.
Ever since then, I am afraid to get close to other women. I'm afraid to be dropped when people realize I'm not what they had hoped. I'm so afraid of being hurt.
So, if I keep you at arms reach, please don't be offended. I'm afraid, I'm still hurt even after all of these years. And I have a hard time trusting people at all. My days before recieving my Lord Jesus, were not something that encouraged trust in others. In fact they were quite the opposite.
I have no idea why I am sharing this tonight. Maybe it is because I see my failings so clearly tonight and I am feeling vulnerable and contemplative. I want to change, I want to take down my protective shield and let others in. I don't know how to do it though.
I do know that all things are possible with the Lord. This is my hope that He will heal my heart and take down my shield more and more each day.
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Oct. 26, 2006 - Being Faithful
Today I am thankful for...
---My Savior that shed his blood for my many iniquities
---My family that has so much patience for me
---My snuggly cats that keep my feet warm on chilly nights and mornings
Today's verse to meditate on...
An elder must be blameless, the husband of but one wife, a man whose children believe and are not open to the charge of being wild and disobedient. Titus 1:6
In the kitchen...
Bread baking day!
Crafting today...
---Homeless hat
---Last two knitted parts to a Christmas gift
---My poncho
Prayer requests...
---Continued healing for my family. My littlest one awoke last night coughing and she and I ended up on the couch together. We didn't want to keep daddy awake.
---Strength for dh as he works so much extra overtime.
---Financial issues for so many that I know.
---That the Lord would bless my womb with twins, or that He would give my heart peace whatever He does.
Today's verse got me thinking. I was thinking about how important it is for me to be faithful and do my job on the homefront raising the children well. If I slack off, it not only is a horrible thing for my children, but it also limits the capacity that my husband can serve in the church. So, even though it is not all my responsibility to train up my children, I need to be faithful. I need to be the helpmeet to my husband that I was intended to be. That doesn't mean that my husband doesn't help with the children, but I need to remember that he is above me and I am his helper. If I am weak and stumbling, then yes, he should step in and make sure his family doesn't fall apart. He is to ensure that his family is running well. But when I am healthy emotionally and physically, I need to be faithful to do what needs to be done, without making excuses because I am really just to lazy to do it.
Now onto onto a lighter topic. I am halfway finished with my poncho, I am so excited for those cold mornings when I get up with my husband. Now I will have something to keep me a bit warmer. I am also planning on making some leg warmers. I will wear them under my nightgowns and skirts when it is really chilly. Not out in public though, they aren't really my style, lol.
As I am making Christmas gifts, I thought perhaps I should make some extra things. Not just for those inevitable surprise gifts that you end up needing for the new friend you made etc. But to keep in my gift closet for those times when you need a quick gift.
So, does anyone have any ideas on simple, inexpensive gifts to make, that would store really well? I would appreciate any suggestions.
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Oct. 18, 2006 - My current theme song
Have you ever heard the song by Stacie Orrico called Don't Look at Me? This is my current theme song. I have been very humbled lately by my imperfections and this song has been on my heart.
Here is the chorus to it:
Don't look at me If you're looking for perfection
Don't look at me I will only let you down
I'll do my best to point you In the right direction
But don't look at me
No, no, no
Don't look at me Look at Him
I am in a broken place right now, which is a pretty good place to be in sometimes. God is good to stretch me and grow me even though I struggle against it. I pray that someday I don't struggle when He stretches me, but I accept it gracefully.
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Apr. 26, 2006 - Why Don't I Do the Same?
I recently watched a movie (bad aren't I?) about dancers. I am actually drawing a blank for the title of the movie. And honestly I wouldn't recommend the movie to anyone. But after I watched the movie I had some thoughts that have stayed with me.
The movie really focused on how hard the dancers worked. And how they didn’t always enjoy the work, yet they deep down loved what they were doing. Even in the midst of the pain. They continued on and worked through it to create something of beauty.
Normally I wouldn’t have given the movie a second thought, but this time something really affected with me. The fact that they worked so hard, even when it was painful for them, just wouldn’t leave me. And the fact that they were far from perfect and together, meant something to me. In times past when seeing something similar where an athlete or an artist endures a lot, I haven’t really applied the principle to me. It never affected me. But after this movie it did.
I can’t help seeing that I need to work just as hard as they do, but only in my calling. Why don’t I put as much effort into my role as wife and mother? Why don’t I work and suffer, even until it hurts (other than labor), for the beauty that I can create in my family? Yes it is painful, yes it is exhausting. Why do I stop when I get tired, why do I tend to want a break from it all? I need to learn to push on through the pain, and endure so I can find the joy and love for my calling that I know is there deep down inside, underneath the work and hum drum daily life. Only then can I make something beautiful in my family.
Dancers work hard to make the dance look good. To watch them practicing, you would never imagine the beauty of the finished work. Each small piece is rehearsed over and over, how is that for drudgery? How like my daily life that is? How many times do I clean the toilet or correct a child for the same thing over and over again? Yet if I continue on, my life, my children will be a beautiful work, bringing glory to God. And this beauty can be created even though I am far from perfect.
I am truly amazed at how the Lord works in my life. Right when I needed it, He gave me the inspiration I needed to continue on. And a beautiful picture of what my life is and can be.
The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap distruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:8,9
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Apr. 17, 2006 - Am I Taking Care of What's Important?
I wrote these two stories today.
The first is written to a woman's heart:
One day a woman walked into a flower shop. She came upon a plant in a pot with this sign on it, “If you can make me bloom, you can take me home”. Well the plant was attractive and it seemed like a challenge, so the woman spent a lot of time working with that plant. Caring for it and cultivating it. Finally the plant bloomed for her. She was so excited and took her beautiful plant home. She was very faithful in caring for her plant at first and kept it blooming. But slowly she spent less and less time caring for the plant. One day after a couple weeks she looked over at her plant and was shocked by what she saw. Her beautiful plant, with the gorgeous blooms was wilted and brown. She was so sad, that something so precious, rare and beautiful was being ruined. Because she valued the plant she started to work on cultivating it again and spent much time with the plant. Finally it was healthy again and bloomed radiantly for her. She was thrilled and was faithful to keep her plant happy from then on. She felt privileged to have something so beautiful that brought so many comments from others.
This next one is the same thing pretty much, but for a man:
One day a man drove by a garage and saw a small car with this sign on it, “If you can fix me, you can have me”. The man loved a challenge and the car was a good make, so he decided to try to fix it. He spent many afternoons and evenings with the car, listening to it, tinkering with it and doing what needed to be done. He enjoyed the time and soon the car was running really well. He was so excited when the title was signed over to him and the car was legally his. He drove it everywhere and was very good to keep every little need taken care of quickly. But soon he got busy and neglected the car a bit here and there. The car started to be less reliable for him and he was frustrated with it. One day he needed to be at an important meeting and the car wouldn’t start at all. He was very upset. He opened the hood and took a look inside the car. He noticed it needed many small things fixed, but nothing that would make the car not start. He tried to start it again, and noticed that the gas tank was empty. The poor car had no gas, and needed many repairs. He felt bad that he had neglected his car so much and decided to change his ways. He started to take care of the routine maintenance and fix the things that were wearing out. That car ended up lasting him his lifetime and he was happy with it. All because he did the maintenance required.
I wrote these because I was thinking about how frequently I neglect the relationships that I value the most. The most beautiful blooms are the ones that need constant attention. How I need to remember to be faithful and consistent. And I think our men need gentle reminders too, lol!
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Apr. 13, 2006 - Being Happy in a Dumpy House
I live in a dumpy house. There I said it, it's out. I feel much better now that that is out in the open.
Right now I know you are thinking, "how can she say that! That isn't a very good attitude, what an ungreatful heart!". But just to let you know I am not ungrateful at all, having a house is more than I ever imagined having period. So even a dumpy one is a real blessing. I am just stating a fact. It's dumpy.
It needs a lot of work, and I never seem to have any money to get any of the work done. For example, our back yard. Currently we need to finish repairing our fence which means I have to buy 60 line feet of boards to do so. I never seem to have the $150 to buy the boards. Also, I have planted a lawn in that yard more times than I care to remember, and each time it dies. I have improved the soil, watered even done the plug thing so the soil doesn't compact the roots. It just dies. All the neighbors say we have to do sod or it will die. I can't afford sod. So another year of seed it will be for me. Also many people have lovely bushes and flowers, I never seem to have the money to buy the flowers either.
Inside the house it's the same story. The entire inside needs to be painted, but I haven't been able to afford the paint. Everything is piled in closets and on shelves because I can't afford bins to organize things. For years I have fought this battle with trying to make things nice in my home with no money, but finally gave up discouraged. But somehow the Lord has renewed me for the battle this year and I am ready to give it another go.
Recently I posted pics of some of the crafts I have done. You are probably thinking that if I have money to do that stuff I have money to paint the hallway. You are right and wrong, lol! First yes, I did spend money on the fabric and notions. But not all at once, it was $10 here, $5 there until I had what I needed to make my projects and many items I had left over from past projects. So yes, I spent money that I could have spent on paint etc. But at the same time in my defense sewing or crafts is my therapy. It allows me to start something, finish it and SEE RESULTS. Many times in my daily life with housework, I don't see results, because things are undone so quickly after I finish something. And honestly I did spend some money on craft supplies this past week that could have gone towards needs. Sometimes I am plain foolish and selfish, I am sorry to say.
Currently my dilemma is, do I buy larger size diaper covers for my sweetie or a bag of grass seed? I haven't decided yet, I think I'm leaning towards the diaper covers though.
(Since I composed this, I went ahead and bought the diaper covers, lol)
But so far none of this has anything to do with being happy in a dumpy house, does it?
Well, I am happy for the most part in my dumpy house. Because my happiness is not based on material things. My joy is made complete in Christ Jesus and having a dumpy house cannot even dim the incredible beauty of what He has done for me. And compared to many I have so many blessings, and I live in a palace. I have shelter, food, clothing and even fun things, what could I possibly complain about? The Lord has given me a wonderful husband, and six beautiful children. I am truly blessed even in a dumpy house.
So the secret to being happy in a dumpy house is to count your blessings. Try to change the things you can change and improve, but don’t spend your life worrying and fretting that it isn’t good enough and what will people think? Life is to short and we need to rejoice in the Lord ALWAYS not just when we have all we think we want. So that is the secret to being happy in a dumpy house.
I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. Philippians 4:12
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Apr. 7, 2006 - For Someone Special
I have been spending much time in prayer lately, which is wonderful. As I was praying, this portion of scripture came to mind:
That night Jacob got up and took his two wives, his two maidservants and his eleven sons and crossed the ford of the Jabbok.
Genesis 32:22-32
As I read these verses, I felt very strongly that these verses are meant for a very special person that has been wrestling with God for a blessing for a long time. In the end Jacob got his blessing, but he was left with a limp. I believe that this person is going to get their blessing, but be left with a "limp", as a reminder.
And as I write this, I realize how it applies to so much. Many times it is the painful things in life that bring us blessings. The things that leave scars in us. We see the face of God in our trials, but are left with scars from our trials. How we need to not regret the "limps" we may get in our struggles and wrestling, and only rejoice in the blessing we are given. How we need to be thankful that we were spared through the trial, and not allow bitterness to creep in that we had to undergo the trial.
This is something I need to remember myself. Life isn't always easy, but may I always be thankful that the Lord is blessing me through it, even if I may have a limp.
Therefore to this day the Israelites do not eat the tendon attached to the socket of the hip, because the socket of Jacob’s hip was touched near the tendon. The sun rose above him as he passed Peniel, and he was limping because of his hip. So Jacob called the place Peniel, saying, "It is because I saw God face to face, and yet my life was spared." Jacob said, "Please tell me your name." But he replied, "Why do you ask my name?" rThen he blessed him there. Then the man said, "Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with men and have overcome." The man asked him, "What is your name?" "Jacob," he answered. Then the man said, "Let me go, for it is daybreak." But Jacob replied, "I will not let you go unless you bless me." When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. After he had sent them across the stream, he sent over all his possessions.• 1 Comments • Post A Comment! • Permanent Link
Mar. 25, 2006 - Growing Weary
Today has been run, run, run. I am tired. I was out shopping trying really hard to find healthy food in the city that I can afford. I had to go to several different stores and it was discouraging to see that certain things just aren't available in my part of the world. And it was also a bit discouraging to see that most healthy food items cost a whole lot and are packaged in very small containers. I did eventually succeed in getting most everything on my list except the raw cashews I needed, the store was out of those.
But on the way home from my last stop, I wanted to cry. I was so tired, and all I could think of was all I have to do. In my exhaustion, just the thought of cooking dinner was sending me over the edge. I started to think it was to hard, that I couldn't do it. I was feeling like eating healthy was just going to be to much work for our family. And when I walked in the door, my face must have been a window into my heart. My sweet husband asked me what was wrong and he seemed really worried about me.
But as I worked with the children to put the groceries away and to get dinner going. The Lord brought to mind His promises to my heart. Particularly the one I have as the avatar on my blog.
but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
Isaiah 40:31
I was reminded that I needed to put my hope in the Lord, and not in my own strength. And when I do so He will renew my strength, and I will soar. And as I turned my eyes to Him, that is exactly what happened. My strength was renewed and my do list got a few more check marks on it. I can't say it was done, because I don't think any of us mothers really ever get it all done, I don't anyway. But progress was made and my joy was restored. I am still tired, but I am at peace with my world.
God is so good!
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Mar. 21, 2006 - Judges 10:10-16
This morning as I was reading my daily bible, I was struck with the compassion of God.
You see, Israel was once again turning away from the Lord and following false gods. They were being oppressed by the Philistines and the Ammonites. Life was horrible and miserable for them, but they had brought it on themselves. They cried out to the Lord, and He told them no, He wouldn't help them. They turned from Him and he would not save them now.
So, this is what happened:
But the Israelites said to the LORD, "We have sinned. Do with us whatever you think best, but please rescue us now." Then they got rid of the foreign gods among them and served the LORD. And He could bear Israel's misery no longer. Judges 10:16
This verse just jumped out at me. First I saw the Lord's great compassion. And then I saw the anguish He felt as He watched Israel suffer. And I saw that when we turn our hearts back to Him, He forgives us and saves us.
I related this to my parenting, how I suffer when I see my children doing wrong and disobeying me. It hurts. And when I know they have consequences that are unpleasant because of it, I grieve. And when they turn their hearts back to obedience, I can't bear their suffering and I rescue them. How many times have I kicked myself for being too soft, when I am just following the model of God my Father? No more, I will thank the Lord for allowing me compassion and love for each of my darlings.
I also realize how loving and patient the Lord is. How frequently I turn from Him to some silly thing. I focus all of my attention on it, and somehow don't have time to spend in the Word with Him. But when I realize and repent and turn back to Him, He is there waiting to take me in. He has compassion on the misery I have caused myself and helps me back to where I should be.
I am just in awe of God this morning. He is so good. Won't you spend the day rejoicing in His greatness with me today?
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Mar. 18, 2006 - Confidence?
How can I be confidant and yet not at the same time? I mean I second guess myself on most everything, except the big stuff.
I don't doubt that Jesus is my Savior.
I don't worry that I shouldn't be homeschooling.
I never think I married the wrong man.
But on the little daily things in life I lack any confidence. I second guess my decisions, and if I am shown a different way to do something, my first response is that I have been doing it wrong. After a bit of thought I can ususally logically figure if I am really wrong or not, but I sometimes feel like a dog cowering.
I don't want to live this way. I want to live my life confidantly. And even if I am wrong, I want to correct my course and move on. But without any of the weird feelings that I usually get.
So this week I am going to practice. If I think I may be wrong about something, I will immediately turn to Jesus in prayer. If I am wrong I will repent, correct my course and then praise Him for showing me. Instead of wallowing in failure, I will rejoice in the goodness of Jesus. That should work, don't you think?
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Feb. 27, 2006 - Spinning Plates
Some days I feel like I am spinning to many plates. This was one of those weekends. I had many "plates" that I had to get spinning because they had to be done and I had a hard time keeping them all going. I ended up dropping some, and it makes me wonder why I put so many up?
So today I get to pick up the pieces of my fallen plates, put them back together and then add a few more. Today's plates include:
1. A loveley floral plate called Laundry Catch-up
2. A pretty blue and white china plate called Put the Kitchen Back in Order
3. A beautiful and elegant plate called Devotions/Bible Study
4. A bright and colorful plate with handprints called Lessons with the Children
5. An ordinary white plate called School Preparations/Copies
6. A dainty china plate called Let's Get those Repair Calls Made
Then I of course have the normal plates spinning of chores, hygeine for all of us, meals, pet care, etc.
Ahhh, plate spinning is an art. But it's one that I can't do alone, as seen yesterday with the plates that I dropped. Plate spinning needs help from Someone that never drops anything and will catch my plates if they fall or give them a quick spin if I can't get to them. So as I begin my day with the spinning plate of devotions and bible study I know that the Lord will keep all of my other plates spinning as they should. I can rest in Him, knowing that whatever plate He wants to keep going will be kept going today. And really if it's not what He wants, it's really not that important, is it?
I hope you have a wonderful day spinning plates with the Savior today, I know I will.
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Feb. 19, 2006 - Letting Go of Superwoman
I am not Superwoman. I am sure she is out there somewhere, but she is not me. I want to be her, but I am not. I realize I need to accept this and be who God made me to be. Let me define who Superwoman is for you, so you know exactly who I am not.
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She gets up early and faithfully studies her Bible and memorizes scripture. She actually recalls the past verses she has memorized and can find them again when needed.
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She serves her husband faithfully and lovingly and NEVER says she is too tired or groans at a request made right when she is heading to bed.
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She has her children well disciplined, educated and organized, and she still has time to play with them and create happy warm memories.
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Her home is maintained in a manner that would make any home magazine editor eager for some pictures, and the efficiency experts use her as an example of how to maintain an orderly life.
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She prepares only highly nutritious food for her family, always from scratch. And she always keeps her kitchen immacculate.
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She keeps herself looking put together and physically fit.
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She never ever skips school for the day because the house is in shambles and she is exhausted.
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Her beauty radiates from within, but is mirrored on the outside.
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She is super frugal, her families name brand clothes were all purchased used dirt cheap.
There are many other aspects to Superwoman, that come to me now and again. And each of these I don't measure up to. The standards she has I cannot reach and I am weary of trying. I need to let go of her and look to my Savior. She has become what I look to to find out how I should spend my days. She has become the one I look to to see how I am doing and measuring up. This is not what Jesus wants for me. I need to look to Jesus and the cross, not Superwoman.
I must look to Jesus to mold me into who He wants me to be. And He just might not want me to be a Martha, but a Mary. Or perhaps one day He desires me to be Mary and another day Martha. But how will I know if I am looking at my own ideal and not Him?
Of course each of the qualities of Superwoman are admirable, and I am sure that there is a Superwoman out there, probably many. But the Lord hasn't grown me into her.
So, goodbye Superwoman. Hello again Jesus, make me who You will. Even if it is far from my ideal Superwoman.
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Jul. 21, 2005 - Beauty and White Flour
I just finished grinding wheat and mixing up some peanut butter bread for lunch today. As I was going about my tasks (and trying to keep little fingers from dumping my work on the floor) I starting thinking about how our "tastes" get us into trouble. Down through the ages they didn't have white flour, they had fresh ground wheat flour. All of the desserts, breads etc were made with this flour and they were a treat. The flour was nutritious and good. Fast forward, white flour is made commonly available, it makes things "pretty" and light and fluffy. But, it has very little nutritive value. That's okay, we want to satisfy our tastes and need for beauty. And we pay the price for it in our health.
As with many other food items science has tried to make "better". This carries over into other things, in times past a woman with a little extra cushion was considered healthy and beautiful. Not now, we don't want any extra ripple or roll. We want beauty! So even though it is healthier for a woman to have just a little extra cushion for health, we don't want it. We want skin and bones beauty even if we sacrifice our health in the getting.Don't get me wrong I am not talking about the obvious need to be fit, but the extreme that we strive for.
This also goes for our homes, cars and clothes. We want the prettiest, coolest, nicest whatever and we will go into EXTREME debt to get what we want. Yes our hunger for fleshly beauty has gotten us into some trouble. So, how about a change? Let's stop looking for beauty in the world, and seek it out in our Creator.
One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple. Psalm 27:4
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Jul. 12, 2005 - Pain
I normally suffer a degree of pain in my neck and back constantly, but yesterday and today I have been experiencing a LOT of pain in my back and neck. It has been awful and stressful. At times I wonder why? Why does the Lord allow me to suffer like this? Why do I have this pain which makes it hard for me to serve my family? I don't know, but years earlier, I can honestly say that I didn't really understand others that were in chronic pain. I just thought they needed to deal with it and move on. I wasn't very compassionate. But now having suffered this I understand. When you are in chronic pain there are times that you cannot function the way that you want and need to. This affects you in many ways. You get discouraged because you can't do things and you are embarrassed knowing that others don't really understand and they judge you despite not wanting to. You are exhausted by simple things and that is frustrating. You tend to get crabby and you have to fight it constantly so that you can truly love your family. But as I look at the Word and see Paul's life I can understand that the Lord does have a purpose in my suffering. Whether it is to keep me humble or for some other purpose, I can rejoice in knowing that He has a plan and He is in control. Here are the verses that have blessed my heart today: To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 So, I am not to the place where I rejoice in my weakness, I am still pleading with the Lord to take it from me, I know that He will bring me to a place of peace. And I know the direction I must choose if the Lord chooses to use me to reveal His power in my weakness. So, there is a purpose in my suffering and in that I can rejoice. And my suffering turns my eyes to Him and helps me to keep my eyes on Him because He is where my help comes from.
