I am not sure what I want to write about. I guess some more background. I got separated from my husband when my kids were in the 6th and 4th grade. I knew I had to find a job so I put them in public school. I had homeschooled them both since pulling B out of K in
We were a military family and we were stationed there. I had met some homeschool moms when I was in Ca. before we transferred but I didn’t really think I could do it. At the time both kids were not school age anyway.
I should have gotten a clue that we would one day be on the homeschool wagon when I put B into preschool. I don’t remember how long he was there but it was under a week. B is very stubborn at times. He also has ADHD (not really very physically hyper just easily distracted). At this time he was not on any medication (I was still in denial – Oh, please no anti-drug comments. I have heard them all!). After the initial first days of adjustment some things happened at preschool that made me decide that it was not for him.
The teacher wanted B to color a picture of a clown. Sounds easy huh? Well my precious boy never liked to color. He loved to draw. He said politely no thanks. She told him he had to if he wanted to go play. So while the other kids were coloring (although a little outside the lines like any child that age – all very similar in color since she also told them what colors to use for each – supplying a pre-colored one of her own) he flipped the page over and drew his own clown.
When the teacher saw this she flipped it over and told him that he was not to draw his own clown but follow directions. I am sure by now he was getting frustrated and his mind was spinning on what and how he could get this done to play with all the blocks (his favorite). By now the other kids were done and allowed to go play. He colored-scribbled the clown’s nose red and declared it was done. She took one look and told him to finish it. He scribbled the appropriate colors across the appropriate places and declared it was done. She knew it was not his best. She informed him she was going to have a talk with ‘your mother’ when she came. I am sure he just gave her that innocent, blank look before asking could he go play now?
She then took the paper and wrote his name in all capital letters on the top of the page. This caused him to stop and of course correct her. He informed her that was not his name. She said it was and to go play. He said no it is not because the letters were wrong. She said they were fine and to go play. She must have gotten up and he took it and flipped it over to ‘his clown’ and wrote his name. Then he went to play.
When I came to pick him up she asked me to wait so she could talk to me. I sat and after the last child & parent left she told B to put all his toys away. B looked at her and started putting the blocks away. She filled me in on what happened (that is where I got most of the above details) and I stayed quite until she was finished.
I looked over to B and saw he was just sitting there. She looked and she said, “B, I told you to put the toys away.” He smiled and said, “I did put all the toys away (pause) that I played with.” She turned to me and informed me that my child was very rebellious and she had been dealing with this all day. I looked at her then at him and said to B., “B, can you please put the toys the other kids forgot to put away?” He smiled once again and said, “Oh, sure.” He then continued to put the toys away. I looked at her and didn’t say a word.
She was all flustered and turned to his paper. I took it and looked it over flipping it back over. The clowns were similar style. I then said, “Let me tell you how I see this. Yes, he should have listened to directions and did as you asked and for that I will talk to him but that are the kind of things you learn in PRE-school, Now, what I am more concerned about is the fact that you did not let him express himself. Did you even try to tell B, that he could draw his own after? Did you even encourage him to show you how well he could stay in the lines or knew his colors?” I also pointed out that she did write his name wrong. Flipping his paper I showed her that he knew to write capital for the first letter only. I also told her it concerned my that she didn’t. It concerned me that he chose to not do his best (he scribbled) when I knew for a fact he could stay in the lines. He was just following the other kids.
We never did see eye to eye and I am sure she was thinking she knew where he got his stubborn strike from while I was thinking she went a little out of the lines herself.
The next day when I came to get him he was playing and she was at story time with the rest of the kids. She said he did not wish to join them. One day she almost forces him to comply and the next she doesn’t want to try. She was letting him win. I knew she was not going to handle him well and decided to remove him. Although he missed the blocks he was happy to go home and draw.
By the way, on the way home B asked me, “Mom, did you see she went a little out of the lines too?” Kindergarten wasn’t much better but that’s another blog story.