I was waiting out front for my older daughter at the library tonight when a chorus of little voices from the back of the van said, "I have to go pee!"  So I had an internal debate about whether or not I had to get out the stroller for a quick trip to the bathroom, interspersed with wishing that my six year old was old enough to stay in the van with the sleeping baby since he did not need the facilities.  I finally decided that I could probably manage to carry Brogan in the sling and hold the twins' hands as well.

After answering nature's call, we went to find Gabrielle since it was now fifteen minutes later than I said she should come outside.  On the way into the library, I saw a dear friend from my early homeschooling days.  We stopped to catch up with each other and the three boys who weren't strapped to me began running in circles around me like hungry natives doing a pre-dinner dance.  I caught one and told him not to run, but of course the other two felt that he was the only one that applied to, and they continued to run in circles until I personally told each of them to stop.

My friend's three children range from a few years older than my oldest to a few years younger than him.  She looked down at my four boys and said, "I just couldn't start over again now." Later on the way home, I thought, "Is that what I am doing? I guess it is." Friends that I met back when we started homeschooling in 1997 are now trying to figure out their post-homeschooling plans, while I am gearing up to get the two girls through high school while also teaching all the boys.

I remember another mom saying to me when I was pregnant with Ryan, "Do you REALLY want to start all over again?"  Robert was a teen, Gabrielle and Mary were nearly 7 and 5, weaned and potty-trained and sleeping through the night.  Of course, the mom asking was just an acquaintance and didn't know that I had suffered two miscarriages since Mary was born, one of which had nearly killed me, and that I had been desperately wanting another baby for quite some time.  So, that time, the answer was yes, I really wanted to start all over again.

I assume that there is a light at the end of the homeschooling tunnel, but it's so far away, I've never even had a glimpse of it.  I've been too busy trying to keep my head above the water rising in the tunnel.  However, it's true - I haven't even STARTED homeschooling three of my children (I don't go by that "oh, they have been learning since birth" idea of when homeschooling begins).  I think I figured out once that I will have been homeschooling for thirty years when I'm done.

Maybe I should stop thinking about this. It's making me more tired than I already was. 

I was reading and writing about Charlotte Mason today, so I decided that I should do what I feel is central in our style of education - and get myself outside with my children, even during these dark, rainy days.

So we went to see the falls. It's hard to believe there are so many beautiful falls and pieces of river so close to where we live. They are just breathtaking. Even this time of year. 

Charlotte Mason talks about visiting special places not just during one season, but during multiple seasons - to see how nature changes over the seasons and to make observations about those changes.

I searched through my old photos to try and compare the river now with the river is summer or early fall. It's really amazing the difference - the fullness, the smoothness, the swiftly moving and even swirling currents. All I could find is this picture - which isn't the exact picture of anything I took today. But you can see how different this look. Nowhere on the river do you see river rocks sticking up this time of year (except for the very biggest boulders).

• E-Book: Teaching Jeremiah--a complete curriculum for teaching special needs children in preschool and early elementary grades.
• E-Book: Someplace Called Special--A Look at Homeschooling Special Needs Children
• Special Words for Special Needs--Blog posts by a mom homeschooling several special needs children.
  

www.homeschoolblogger.com/earthenvessel/

Today is the first of my two transition out days. This morning I had a banana for breakfast. It was the first solid food I'd had for 16 days. That was the BEST banana I've ever eaten!! I was savoring every bite!! For lunch I had a small veggie salad with Raspberry Hazelnut Vinegrette Dressing. That was really good too! I will be having another salad for dinner tonight.

Hubby and I both went to see the doctor today for follow-up to our bloodwork. Hubby said that the doctor gave him a high-five and said, "I wish all ALL my patients would loose weight like this when they need to." Hubby has lost 25 lbs so far.

When it was my turn to see her, she asked me what we've been doing to loose all this weight and I was able to tell her about The Lord's Table. I told her about how they teach people how to feast on Jesus instead of food. Also about how they teach that overeating is a sin, and how they saturate you in the scriptures. I was really hoping that I would be able to share with her.

Oh, it was funny when I told her that I am just finishing up a 20 day fast. She had this shocked look on her face, then I quickly said that it was a liquid fast. I think she didn't really know how to respond at first. She told me that I've lost 20 lbs since the last time I've seen her. I've actually lost 23 lbs total so far. I still have another 20 to go to get to my goal weight.

We have a Christmas Party at home fellowship tonight. I'm bringing my sweet potato casserole. It will be sooooo hard to not be able to have any myself. At least I get to have my salad!  I also bought enough sweet potatoes to make another casserole after my fast is totally over. Yummmm!

My lesson today was about the last weapon in our arsenal as christians, prayer. I love what they said about prayer, "Any general knows that constant communication with the command center is vital to achieving victory in battle, how much more should we who have an ongoing spiritual battle and constant spiritual enemies be in continual prayer to our Commanding Officer."

On Monday before Brooks' surgery we went to the ICE show at Gaylord Opryland.  The theme this year is Charlie Brown.  The children had lots of fun and enjoyed the slide made of ice a great deal.

We had to get Mark's picture with Linus since he's our little Linus (loves his blankie)

My favorite part each year is the ICE Nativity scene.  It's always so beautiful.  I was frozen by the time we reached this point so I only have one picture of this scene.

As a side note -- The children hadn't ever seen any Charlie Brown shows.  It had been forever since I had seen any.  We got A Charlie Brown Christmas from Netflix so the children could see it and have an understanding of the theme of ICE.  Do you know how many times they call one another "stupid" in that show?  Way too many to count and certainly way too much to be a suitable show for our family.  I was surprised how mean they are to one another.  One of the children asked "why do they treat Charlie Brown that way".  All of the children thought it was a program we shouldn't watch again.  I was glad to see their discernment in that. 

Do you ever find that your homeschooling doesn't happen in a vacuum. We should and do try to institute 12 steps to a cleaner house. We have the kids help out with chores. We try to limit how much the kids are allowed to get out at once. Yet, if we allow them to be creative at all, if we allow them to enjoy learning from time to time, then order turns to chaos. Well, at least for me. I know of a few perfect people, but I'm not one of them. I'll keep trying though. I'll keep trying to be a loving mom, homeschool with a passion, keep a clean house, eat well and feed my family well, love God, and take time for me. But, I for one, although I believe we should keep pressing forward, don't do it all. Do you?