Occasionally we encounter an entity that simply annoys us. It may not be for any discernible reason, and they could be very nice; however, there is just something about them that makes us want to find a very tall cliff, and push them off of it. This undesirable situation happened to me recently, and I acted to remedy it.

When I first observed this annoying individual, he was sitting on the side of the road near our house. I didn’t pay much attention, but the next time I drove by he was still there. Every time that I went back and forth on our road he continued in his presence; sitting, waiting for I know not what, perhaps for a situation that would force his movement to another location.

His general appearance was rugged, stocky, and tough looking; also, it seemed as if his only contact with water came when it fell from the sky. Soap was obviously a foreign concept.

Attempts at discovering his name were met with a stony silence, and due to his self-satisfied attitude, he was dubbed “Smugness”. This was to be his name for the period of time in which we knew him.

Every day, for months, he sat on the side of the road. In the daytime you would see him sitting in his normal place. At night, he would often be forgotten until the beams of our headlights would cut through the inky blackness and reveal our unwelcome squatter, still sitting, and being smug.

As I mentioned before, sometimes you just have a bad feeling about someone, and this was just such an instance.  Perhaps you would feel the same if you see him:

Is it possible that you do not see him sitting in the lower left corner? How about a close up (Can’t you see him smirking in that self-satisfied way?):

That is correct, Smugness is a rock.This did not make him any less aggravating; in fact, his lack of social skills caused me to question the suitability of his placement on our road. We are a high class neighborhood, and it pulls down the general status of our community to have anti-social vagrant rocks sitting on corners.    

As a firm believer in gentrification in regards to igneous intruders, I made the decision to talk to the unwelcome interloper, perhaps talking him into moving his place of habitation. Negotiations deteriorated rapidly, and his stubbornness called for drastic measures to ensure the safety of the patria (The Fatherland).  I was forced into action because of my love for nobility, truth, and the simple fact that I could not stand further smugness on his part. I therefore gave Smugness a very good reason to continue on his journey through life: 
 

Yes, I kicked him off a cliff, but it was necessary for his well being, and my sanity. It was either him or me, and I wasn't about to go down that cliff!!!!!

Behold, the final place of Smugness, may he rest in peace, out of my sight:

Thank you Thomas, for taking the pictures, and sharing my revulsion for this rock.

I am thinking that this weekend feels very coconut-ey. Anyone else feeling that way?

“You put de lime in de coconut…”

“I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts, deedle-de-de…”

“Don’t make me climb, dese aren’t my tree climbing shoes!!!”