When I checked my blog this a.m., I was somewhat surprised that no one had commented on the previous blog. Perhaps I was too strong in what I stated? As I asked my son, Isaac, to read it, he suggested that I share one of my own bloopers in the "not taking the time" category - the real life, family in the microscope kind of blooper.
So, here it goes. This, I must say, is the abbreviated version of one of my worst mistakes, since scripting WW1 is my task right now.
In 1989, when my children were 8, 6, and 4, I fell into the homeschooling speaking/selling market. My friend, Joan, had mentioned to me that if I taught a class at our state homeschool convention, I could get into the convention for free, and they would pay my gas. Not bad, since I couldn't afford the convention.
We put together a little history & music book and tape (another story), and it sold like hotcakes. So, voila, we found out there was a niche for the weird way I look at history and education. . . It got bigger, and I spent more and more time on our biz. . . In 1992, we moved to South Dakota, and began traveling about 6 months of the year to sell products and speak to homeschoolers. My children were now about 11, 9 & 7 - and my youngest, Melody, had never really experienced a homeschooling mom whose major time was spent with her. Instead, she shared me with a business that sucked time and focus out of me, without me even really paying attention to the fact that my daughter was left out of the loop. You know how the squeaky hinge that gets the oil? Melody didn't squeak, until she was about 14.
We were in New Zealand, and I suddenly came face to face with the fact that my daughter didn't trust me. . . She had been relegated to a back seat for much of her growing up years - because I didn't take the time to focus on her, to create an environment where we laughed together (just the two of us), where we shared with one another. . . It was mostly the "will you please change your clothes" or "please clean your room" or "have you done your homework?" variety of exchange.
And, in the midst of this discovery, I realized that nothing less than a drastic reordering of my life would help me to regain my daughter's trust and openness. When we got home, I shelved all of my own projects for that year, and did home ec with Melody and her friend, Kayla. We canned fruit, made soap (after I got done accidently blowing up the glass jar we were making it in!), sewed dresses, crocheted & knitted, did interior design, carved candles (mine was not a pretty sight!), etc., etc., etc. It took time. It took commitment. It took keeping my word and not losing focus.
And it was worth it. Tuesday and Thursday afternoons for one school year gave me back a daughter who laughed WITH me, who shared WITH me, who opened her heart TO me.
That's why I was so strong in the last blog. I know that if we're too busy to create an environment of love and trust and sharing and laughing and learning, we're too busy. I learned that the hard way.
I have many things I would love to do, even want to do, that are taking the back burner as we raise and homeschool our children. I have passed up certain hobbies and even paying jobs (even recently!) that were only a 'few hours a week' because I know I don't have the the time to give up yet in this season of life. Thanks for the encouragement! This precious time passes so quickly...
Too strong? Definitely not! I know that all homeschooling moms need to be reminded of what is really important in our lives. It is so easy to lose perspective and get hung up thinking that teaching at VBS and cleaning house are really important.
I still find myself struggling with prioritizing my time so that my life actually reflects my heart and what I believe and know to be true. This weekend we went to the beach with two other families. Whew! Was that ever a reminder that teenagers need even more mom time than toddlers!
Guess what I am doing tomorrow? Proverbs 4 with four teenagers. What is more important? Absolutely nothing.
Keep on saying the truth. Too strong? Not a chance!
Trying to Keep Her Ducks in A Row,
Lorrie
and not doing so hot!.......ll
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but was caught up in too much other stuff to take time to comment. It really hit close to home as God deals with me in this. I know that I am the queen of volunteering be it scouts, church, ballet... whatever. These things that I think I'm doing for my kids can sometimes pull me away from them. I know I've been reminded by a dear friend of the traps that satan can set in these areas. God has blessed me SO MUCH to be able to be home with my sweeties-- I NEED to be home and WITH them. Thank you for your reminder-- and for your honesty.
Hi Diana.
I'm so encouraged by your writing and your posts. I'm horrible about not commenting but please know that your strawberries blog was not too strong - in fact I emailed it to myself when I read it so that I could pass it on to friends and reread it myself when I need to be reminded what is important. Thank you for the blessing you are to me (and others) by passing on what God has shown you. Isn't that what Titus 2 tells us to do. Thanks.
By the way, I'm really excited to hear you at the Alabama homeschooling conference. Your writing and speaking are so encouraging to me. I can't wait! :)
In His love,
Tina in AL
Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me. . . It's encouraging to know that my bloopers can be a blessing to you!!! And, you, in turn, will share the things God has taught you (hopefully not all learned the hard way!) with others.
In the midst of a environment that promotes family business this was a timely reminder. I have said to myself - put that on the backburner until child #4 is an independent learner and yet, I can so easily get swept up in the so seeminly simple ideas of a wee-little business! (Especially since it would be so educational!)
Both your articles reminded me to re-focus. So thanks.
Belinda
I am glad I got to read your posts together. We've been gone for a long weekend camping trip, far far away from the computer.
I like the personal information about your revelation with Melody. It put the previous message in perspective. Knowng that you spent time warping your children before you figured out how to productively teach them helps people like me know there is still hope.
I love the analogy of preparing the soil. Goin' to the feed store right now to get some steer manure. If I put it in their beds, will it wash out of the sheets ok? (I am kidding) -Tracy
I just discovered your blog today -- and it was very timely. I am still pretty new at homeschooling, and every week that passes I am reminded that homeschooling is as much about building relationships as it is about learning math, language, and the rest. We keep making little adjustments as a result. And then I think -- geez, is my youngest (3) getting the short end of the stick because the oldest (7) is getting all the HS attention. DD7 and I are going to start "prehomeschooling" with DD3 so that all are included in the fun!
I'm so grateful that you are still sharing your wisdom even though your kids are grown! We need mentors like you.
Blessings,
Shaun, who grew up in Rapid City SD!
Extremely happily married since 1979, Bill and Diana Waring home schooled their three children for more than twenty years. The Waring kids were the proving grounds for all the precepts, concepts, and encouragements Bill and Diana teach--the real-life examples of the wonders of home schooling! Now, new grandparents and somewhat empty nesters, Bill & Diana travel all over the world to share the joys of loving learning, honoring one another in the family, and enjoying the journey.
• May. 29, 2006 - Thank you for your honesty