I feel like I'm failing this challenge.  In a big way.  I'm still so depressed.  Instead of turning inward and growing, I'm trying to avoid thinking.  I try to do things to keep my mind busy to keep from evolving.

Today is simple.  I will take my hubby to work.  I will take ds to buy some jeans.  Do a little laundry and run the dishwasher.  That's all that I have to get done today.  But I feel overwhelmed.  Just the thought of having to take a shower is just beyond my scope of comfort. 

What is wrong with me?

Yes, as a couple of you mentioned, it could most definitely be the change in season.  Even though I have been looking forward to this chilly weather.  I like curling up with a good book and my cat when it's gloomy.  I don't outwardly dislike this weather.  But maybe that is it.

I also have a huge financial stressor on my shoulders.  HUGE.  I'm in charge of handling the money, so it's all on me.  DH freaks out whenever things like this happen, and I haven't told him yet.  So, yes, that is weighing on me like a ton of bricks.  I know I have to tell him, and SOON.  He has big plans for our tax money -- he has become obsessed looking at ways to build this thing he wants -- but what he doesn't know is that the tax money will have to go entirely towards the house.  No leeway.  He's going to really get upset when I tell him, and the longer I wait, the worse it will be.  But I procrastinate like a professional and just can't do it yet.

On a good note -- I am getting my extra cash bucks from CVS today and I will get to purchase a bunch of shampoo, etc for free.  On top of free, I will get extra cash bucks back from THOSE as well.  Double free.  I am making up Christmas gift baskets for the less fortunate with some of the stuff that I get.  I might horde shampoo in the linen closet, but it only holds so much!  I know how good Pantene looks to someone who has been using nothing but generic for a year.  So I will be sharing my "wealth" -- so to speak.  I have also been signing up for freebies that I personally don't need so I can donate them to the church or put in Christmas baskets for the needy.  I got a HUGE bag of dog food for free.  I am positive someone can use it, right?

My mother "poo-pooed" my couponing and freebies, etc.  She said "I used to do that.  Run to 7 different stores to get whatever was B1G1F.  It's ok for people who have TIME for that sort of thing" -- the thing is -- for the past 25 years, she hasnt' HAD a money problem.  She's never HAD to budget.  And she REALLY liked the free pen I sent to her house made especially for those with arthritis!!  But she won't stop me.  And I DO have the extra couple of hours a week to spend to save our household a few hundred dollars a month!

Time for that shower.  *sigh*  I can't believe it.  It's like someone said "Time to go to the dentist".  I actually get the same feeling about a shower.  Now that just isn't normal.

Sherry

Posted by TXwifeandmommy

Sounds like you and I have alot in common! lol I too am in charge of money managment in our household. My husband as big plans for something that I just don't see happening due to finances. I have been trying to break it to him carefully, but we will see how it goes when he finally gets it. I too have the time to budget and save the family extra money, I think it is a blessing to do so. Well, just wanted to say hi and thanks for posting on my blog!

Posted by proverbsmom

Hi Sherry,

Have you thought about going to your Pastor to talk about the depression? I am so sorry about your money issues. We came very close to losing our house a few years ago. I was a mess.

Have you ever heard of freecycle? Lots of cities have it. We live about an hour outside the Kansas City Mo area so we are signed up with that group. Freecycle is a Yahoo group. You have to sign up and there are rules but it's a great deal. Basically, if you want something you can put your want on the list and if you have something to give away you can put it on the list. We've gotten a dishwasher, garbage disposal, patio set, bathroom vanity with a sink and more. We have also given away stuff we didn't want. Everything is free. You could go to google and type in a city in your area and freecycle and see if you have one close. Another good source we've found has been the Habitat for Humanity store. We bought border there for 50c and paint for $3.00.

I hope you have a better week.

Tammy

Posted by Anonymous

I feel for you. You are trying to carry a burden that is coloring how you feel each day. It's sapping your energy. I'm no expert, but I would suggest two things. Talk to someone, if you can't talk to hubby yet, and let God help carry your burden. Why is it we try to protect our hubby's from unpleasantness? Many of us (me too) do. When we tell them, they may be upset, but they will learn to accept it
About your mom? Good for you for not letting her minimise what you are doing for your family. You are creating financial health for them, and I'm also impressed at your charitable giving. You should be proud! :). Take care, Maggie from TF