I did something just for myself tonight....

I stained the mantel I made (2x4 & molding for its front) for my gas heater in the living room. (It's free standing, looks like it has logs in it.) From the antique store from around the corner, I bought a faux stone sheet (in hard plastic) a couple of years ago, I have it on the wall behind the heater to make it look a bit rustic...

The mantel is sitting outside (in the heat -- it's 87 at midnight plus right now), allowing the stain to completely dry. A friend suggested using tung oil to finish it off... I'm not planning to have anything with water on it and I've had this thing for over 2 years sitting and waiting on me to actually DO something with it (cluttering up a very small spot in the living room)... so I amy just put it up tomorrow. I can always take it down and apply the oil later.

At the 2008 annual awards dinner with my dog club, I was awarded "member of the year" and received a nice mantel clock. I had already had a mantel planned, but I'm excited to have it on display.

At the very least, I got up, walked away from the computer, and did something both productive today.

After my last update (earlier today), I thought I'd mention the lovely thing we have to deal with in this old house.

Every year, we have a raccoon that has her litter in our attic and interstitial spaces between the walls and floors.

Her general "home base" is in between the ceiling of our bedroom and the upstairs floor. This means we get a lot of "thumping" noises as her little ones get bigger (spring and early summer). Currently, they are "armful" size, still cute, but definitely larger. And they like to wrestle each other. Most years she has 3 to 4 kits a year. Our upstairs living room window looks out on the roof of the lower portion of the house (where you can step out onto the roof throught the window). When the kits come out they usually come to the window to peer into the house. So we've seen them at all stages of growth. There have been years when we thought the mom had delivered only 2 kits, but then saw the third later on. At least one year it was obvious #3 was the runt of the litter.

This year is a "banner" year. ~ oh. joy. ~ She had FIVE babies! And they all seem to be the same size now, so no runts. There has been a lot more wrestling noises, bumps, and thumping noises. And one side effect we hadn't considered before...the smell!

We live in a 121 year old house and my husband's and my bedroom is downstairs, in the mostly unliveable part--no heat (PTL for electric blankets in the winter) and a window unit A/C. The walls in our room were papered back in the 30s, most likely and my husband had to remove the paper to make sure it was not harboring any bugs, when we decided to start sleeping down there. The walls are made up of planks/boards of wood and many have small gaps between the planks. This goes for the ceiling also. After we moved ourselves down there to sleep, my husband made me a canopy for my bed--it's made of white plastic sheeting and looks rather romantic. It fulfills a much more essential job than just looking romantic, though. It shields us from the debris that falls from the ceiling as well as some liquid that seeps down. Granted (thankfully) it's been several years since I saw any liquid in my canopy, nevertheless I'm very grateful for its existence!  We've not seen any urine this year, but there is most definitely a very musky/musty urine-like scent, esp. if the bedroom has been closed up & un-air-conditioned for the day.

It just doesn't help my overall outlook, I can tell you that... It has been fun to watch the babies outside our window, but the thumps, scratching in the night, and the odor are things I think we could all just live without.

Robin in New Jersey asked, "How are you doing, Donna?"

Aww, thanks for asking, Robin! I hope you won't be sorry you asked!

I'm actually struggling on a lot of different fronts.

In the last 5 years, I have been dealing with depression. In the last couple of years, I thought I was coming out of it, but in actuality I think I have hit rock bottom. Holding on to the very end of the proverbial rope with the tips of my fingers.

My mom moved in last year and that has not really been an issue (on the personal side), but I think it might have added logistically to my depression. After living with us a year, she is still sleeping in my son's room, on the bottom bunk of an L-shape arrangement. Here she is in her "golden years" and she shouldn't have to do that, but we just don't have the funds to add on a room at the back of the house. And at this stage of the game, not even enough to make the dining-room-to-eventually-be liveable. The last few months finances have been so tight, we wonder if we'll have enough to go buy food the next month. God is good, all the time, and we've not had to go without, but we've not been able to pay all our credit card bills. Not good. So there are no funds to go toward the house remodel.

I know that I have a VERY cluttered house at the moment. The upstairs living room is not "company ready" by any measuring stick. I actually stopped doing housework about 5 years ago, so the clutter and the dust bunnies are a bit overwhelming. The house remains unliveable downstairs and after 17 years, I'm at the end of my rope. This house did save us from being homeless and I have fallen in love with its floor plan and potential. Sad thing is we really can't sell it and get another house or go to an apartment because we couldn't get enough to get another house. Also another consideration is that either apartment rent or house payment need ongoing income to cover said payment. We're technically not even close to breaking even, much less coming up with another $800+ to cover rent/mortgage payments.

The times in the past I have been diagnosed as "depressed," it's actually been "clinical depression" meaning that there was a chemical imbalance in my brain. I never felt sad or hopeless, never felt like just sitting and crying... might have been a bit immobilized in trying to dig out and through the house clutter, but never truly "sad." I can say that I have definitely hit that stage and that I feel depressed. I don't feel suicidal--don't really believe that is ever an option. Suicide places so much on those who are left behind and there are ALWAYS options other than killing oneself. So I'm not suicidal, but I am definitely feeling sad and hopeless. (I guess my Pollyanna personality could only handle so much, and 17 years was my limit---knew I was getting close to my limit after 12 years.)

I did see my doctor for my yearly physical Monday this week, and he has prescribed an antidepressant. (I've been having insomnia issues also, so I'm grateful that this particular drug helps me to get to sleep and stay asleep.) I've talked to my pastor and have an appointment with him next week to see if I can have counseling with him or if he thinks I may need more "long-term" care. If so, he will help me find someone I can see for the little bit we might be able to scape together.

So there's the story from Lake Wobegone, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.

I hope you aren't sorry you asked, Robin!

My mil, Carlene Conner, went to be with the Lord sometime last night, peacefully.

We rejoice that she is now Home, in His Presence. Her race was completed.

Thank you for your prayers and thoughts.

it's been hard to make time to write on my blog....

I saw this online and thought I'd share... Having a dog is indeed "good medicine" for whatever ails you.

Watch CBS Videos Online

 (Be sure to scroll down and turn off the Playlist - it's at the very bottom of this page.)

Thanks to Dot --

I have to name 6 things for which I am thankful and pass it on to 6 other bloggers. So here goes....

6 things for which I am thankful (for the record I could name 1 million more things):

Under-the-Pines Heidi had this on her blog (which came from "Mrs. Nicklebee's" blog, which came from Karen Joy who I don't know. LOL) so I thought I'd place it over here... if anyone wants to play, leave a comment so I can check out your responses. :)  My experiences are bolded:

1. Started your own blog

(now, have I stayed on top of it....)
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower

(several times!)
6. Given generously to charity
7. Been to Disneyland

(several times - we lived in the area; never been to DisneyWorld though)
8. Climbed a mountain MAYBE, I'm not sure
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea

14. Taught yourself an art from scratch

15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning

(Did you know that old coffee in a water carafe at an IHOP can give this to you? It can!)

17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables

(Well, it was only one pumpkin that grew and it was only pumpkins I planted to grow... but I made a pumpkin pie from that one pumpkin!)
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping

(by myself!)
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language

(Not fluently, but I've tried my best at sign language, in addition to taking classes at the junior college.)
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied

38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted

(Well, it was a cartoon caricature at Disneyland that my dad now has... does that count? LOL)
48. Been deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater

(several times!)
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business

(see http://donnac.com)
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies

(Not really, but I sold Camp Fire Girl Candy...close enough?)
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter

(Several times - my dad worked for Bell Helicopter & my Camp Fire Girls group got to go on a ride when I was 8 or 9. In '94, my family and I took a 'copter tour of Bransom, MO.)
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy

(Several!)
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone

(Think I most likely broke a bone in my foot while walking the dog with my family on Valentine's Day 3 or 4 years ago. It had snowed quite a bit here and I turned my foot wrong. Never got it Xrayed, but a doctor-friend at church said I most likely broke it but that there was nothing to be done so no real need to Xray it.)
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person

(When I was ten, moving from CA to TX.)
80. Published a book

(see http://donnac.com - Homeschooling Only One)
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper

(When the Camp Fire Girls group went on the helicopter ride.)
85. Read the entire Bible

(Not necessarily from start to finish, but I have read it all.)
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous

It seems like I have... I know for a fact I've waited on Lisa Welchel while she was on her TV show back in the 80s. She lived near the mall I worked at in North Richland Hills, TX.)
92. Joined a book club

(Several book clubs by mail, where you buy books thru them... not a group that meets to study a book... although I did have a Charlotte Mason group that studied Catherine Levison's book on CM... so I guess the answer is yes, no matter the meaning behind "book club"! LOL)
93. Lost a loved one

(Grandparents, my 2nd born son...)
94. Had a baby

(Two, in fact!)
95. Seen the Alamo in person

(At least a couple of times)
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit

(House Forclosure)
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee

42 out of 99, not too bad for a 50-almost-51 year old, I guess. LOL