KING OF QUEEN OF QUITE A LOT - I'm worm free!!!!!

Dec. 3, 2005

I'm worm free!!!!!

The "doc", my wife is pretty big into all this natural remedy stuff. Kefir (general anti-oxident), Noni-juice (supposedly cures anything), Raw Apple Cider Vinagar (weight loss gunk) Garlic surprise w/vinigar (anti-biotic)Some mixture of Rum w/ saw palmetto stuff mixed with other stuff fermented over a period of time (prostate health) Homemade Goat milk soap, Homemade goat cheese, homemade goat yogurt, homemade goat cheese cake, farm fresh eggs, homerown turkey's (i don't want to talk about that) of coarse goat milk, chocolate goat milk, (you don't wanna know) I mean I could go and on. Sometimes I think it's all a bunch of malarki and start wondering if telling her about the life insurance policy I have on myself was such a wise idea; Slow death by intentionally induced culinary toxicity by stringent spousal dietary fascism employed through duplicity against unsuspecting yet yielding husband duped into unintentional adoptation and consent of ideological methodology of ambiguously avowed vigor through innate, dietetic process's purposed for my demise as to, in due course, effect pecuniary gain and subsidy through previously affirmed indemnity upon my eventual termination by means of gastronomic carnage endured by yours truly........ie........she's trying to kill me under the guise of good food... man!!!! To support this seemingly paraniod fear of mine, consider the following. She has this one particular "remedy" for me that uses rum to bring out the many so-called benifits of all the many unknown herbs that constitute this mixture. It ends up sitting in an unmarked jar, very dark and grainy in substance and tasting like death warmed over....but hey, it's "good for me". So, being the good, supporting husband I am, I partake of this insanity of my own free will. What's a little nausea and uncontrolled vomitting compared to the look of joy my wife gets when she sees me jumping on board her train to a healthier life. I have become so commited to HER cause that I no longer hide until after she has gone to sleep in order to avoid this "stuff". Nope, I actually take it on my own, all by myself without having to be asked or, as the case may be, forced. So, I have been taking this faithfully, so much so that I finished a whole jar of the "stuff" all by myself. One day I look up in the cupboard and find a brand new jar of the "stuff" right where the old one was...much to my dissapointment. But ever the good sport, I pour a couple of tablespoons of the "stuff" in the glass that already contains a couple tablespoons of Noni juice and raw apple cider vinigar. I do this over and over again, day after dreadful day until this jar too is empty. Now let me just pause here and say that the fact that this "formula" called for rum as an ingredient should have been an indicator. "Why the need for rum?" I should have asked myself. "Could it be to dull my senses and make me less suspecting of some sort of diabolical plot?" Oh the pure mad genius of it all. Come to discover one horrid day, that this so-called remedy contained in the second jar she just happened to place in the cupboard right where the old one was, .........is actually a homemade GOAT WORMER. I've been wormed!!!! I've injested a whole jar of goat wormer!!!! Now you tell me....accident???, misunderstanding?....mix up/......... I THINK NOT!!!!!!!!! I'm considering legal action, but my advisors tell me to wait until after Christmas. In the mean time I guess any fears of intestinal worm infestation on my part may be put soundly to rest. Stay tuned and I'll see you at Micky D's

• Post A Comment! • Send to a Friend!

Comments

Dec. 3, 2005 - Untitled Comment

Posted by drewsfamilytx

ROFLOL!!!

There's no way I could drink stuff like that... I hope you at least get some kind of good benefit from it...like lose a few pounds, superhuman strength, or add an extra 10 years to your life!