Well, tonight is our last night in the place we've called home for 6 1/2 years. All week we've been packing, sorting, moving things, and making Waste Management earn their money this week. If I weren't so tired and so busy I'd be sad.
We've lived here longer than any other place in our married life. My kids were 14, 11, and 8 when we arrived. Now they are 20, 17, and almost 14. The oldest is in college. The middle child will go to college next year. It is a severe time of change.
A large number of the happy memories I have here involve activities and people from our church. Now those recollections have a bitter twinge to them as people and circumstances didn't turn out as I hoped. I've been disappointed. Wounded. Disoriented. Angry. Discouraged. Devastated. Worried. Heart-broken. All from people I loved and trusted. Sometimes I wonder if this 6 1/2 year section of our life journey was a failure. What did all the energy and love we poured into this ministry amount to? Yet I am reminded once again, because I need to be reminded quite frequently, that it's not about people's love for me or people's devotion to me. It's about my love for them. And I did genuinely love them. I still do, which is why it hurts so much. Perhaps that, above all things, shows I did what God intended me to do. If love betrayed doesn't hurt, it wasn't really love in the first place. Love hurts. Just ask Jesus.
I don't know what the next stage of our journey is, though I feel it has to do with refocusing on Christ, resting, and renewing my strength in Him. We're moving to a temporary location that is in the proverbial "middle of no-where". (I know this is true because there is no high-speed internet there, only dial-up. I'll be forced to come to grips with my internet addiction. *grin*)
Lessons learned:
1. People will fail you.
2. God won't.
3. What is seen is temporary.
4. What is unseen is eternal.
5. Life isn't about what others can or cannot do for me.
6. Life is about having God's love for people, even when it hurts.
7. My world can be shaken, but not destroyed when my hope is in Christ.
I'll be around the internet some, but won't be posting a picture a day like I wanted to.
I pray God's richest blessings on you all. Happy New Year!
~ Drewe Llyn
(P.S. For those who have no clue what I'm talking about you can find out here.) |
• Jan. 8, 2009 - Untitled Comment
Blessings,
Nicole