Over at Girlfriends in Christ we recently received a prayer request and question regarding encouragement. After writing my response I thought about how widespread discouragement is, and how we as followers of Christ are commanded in 1 Thessalonians 5:11 to “…encourage one another and build each other up.” (1 Thessalonians 5:11) Proverbs 11:25 assures us that we, ourselves, will find refreshment as we refresh others.
What are some practical ways we can do this? I’ve begun a list and invite you to contribute by adding a comment. Later, I’ll put together and post a more extensive list including some of those ideas. Let’s see how many ways we can encourage each other. (Note: These ideas are really gender-neutral, but for ease in reading I have used feminine pronouns.)
1) Pray for her. This is no empty platitude. God knows your friend better than anyone. He knows the magnitude of her hurt, the number of frustrations, and depth of her discouragement. He alone knows what He is trying to teach her through this. He alone knows what will brighten her day. The Bible tells us to “Bear one another’s burdens”. As she struggles to hang on, you hold her up in prayer. Then let her know you are praying for her every day.
2) Remind her of all God has done through her in the past. Especially what a blessing she is to your life.
3) Send a note of encouragement (including suggestions 1 and 2). A hand written note is extra special, but if you are intimidated by an entire blank sheet of paper, send a card instead with just a few personal words added.
4) Take her out to lunch and pray together about the situation.
5) Do #4 with a group of friends touched by her life or who just care.
6) Laugh together. Watch a funny movie together. Chonda Pierce and Mark Lowry are two fantastic Christian comedians.
7) Plan a Girls’ night out to watch that funny movie, or go to supper, etc. (If your friend is depressed skip the tear-jerkers unless you feel she needs a good cry.)
8) “Kidnap” your friend for an adventure, like eating ice cream in the middle of winter or going to her favorite restaurant.
9) Secret-pal her. Leave or send small gifts and cards anonymously signed “A Secret Friend” or “Someone Who Cares.”
10) Give her time alone or with her spouse. Offer to baby-sit if she has small children or can’t leave an aged parent.
11) Flock her yard. I don’t know if this is available everywhere, but there is a florist in our town that will set up as many flamingos as you want on someone’s yard during the night. That is sure to bring a smile.
12) If you don’t have money to “Flock her yard” then secretly tie balloons to her mailbox one night or during the day while she is gone.
13) Put together an “Encouragement Book” for your friend by filling a three-ring binder with clear protective sheets and filling it up with cards and letters from her friends and family, comic strips, inspirational quotes, etc… Make sure the cover has a place to insert your own design so you can customize it. (This is especially great for someone who is seriously ill.)
14) Just listen, allowing her to talk through her frustrations and sorrows might be all she needs. Perhaps you can offer new perspectives, or perhaps she simply needs to know someone cares.
Barbara Johnson tells the story of a little girl who came home late from school one afternoon. The mom was frantic and demanded an answer as to her tardiness. “Well, my friend tripped on the way home and broke her doll,” the child began.
“Oh, so you stopped to help her fix her doll?” the mom inquired. “No,” continued the little girl, “we knew we couldn’t fix it. I just helped her cry.”
Sometimes the best thing we can do for someone is to help them cry. We are the hands, feet, and arms of Christ. He may want to give someone a hug with your arms today.
I look forward to hearing your responses!
“May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word.” 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17
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