In my last entry, mom and dad suffered a tree in the house. Well, they were still there, but the tree is gone, and they fixed up the house.

In this story, they are clearing away part of their property. More importantly, the porch. At the time, the porch was rotten, and they wanted to get rid of it to build in a new one.

My dad went underneath it and my mom took the top. That was a mistake.

There were tons of arachnids and six-legged creepy-crawlies that housed in the wood of the porch, and the wood was tough to get out, so my dad took a sledgehammer and went to work. At first, everything went fine, until my dad used the sledgehammer. As I said before, the wood housed the insects, but it was dark, and my dad couldn't see what was there; so when he hit the boards with his hammer, where did the insects go? All over my mom. She was on top, remember? She was all peaceful, until she found a centipide in her hair and a spider in her shorts. She was up and out of there in half-a-second with my dad on the ground laughing his head off.

After half an hour of getting the bugs off mom, dad took mom inside to chill down on the sofa. For another hour, she itched all over.

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When my dad just got out of college, he got a job as a fireman. He quickly made friends with the other firemen that worked there, including some pranksters.

To describe the setting, the firehouse is on top of a hill in the middle of town. In the building there is a drain in the middle of the lot where the firetrucks park. After so many washes of the trucks, the drain needs to be cleaned out.

One day, one of the pranksters decided to clean out the drain, with the captain not knowing. And, with the captain not knowing, he decided to clean out the drain too.

Anyway, the prankster decided to use the fire hose to clean out the drain on the other side.

Gravel gets stuck in the drain holes, so the captain went down on all fours to pick the gravel out.

So when the prankster looked up and saw the captain, he got an idea. He called, "Captain!" The captain looked up, the prankster turned on the water, the stream of water hit the captain in the forehead, and, since firehose blasts are so powerful, sent the captain head over heels across the lot.

Not to be outdone, the captain waited for the opertune moment to catch him off guard.

After about two days had gone by, the prankster felt the call of nature, and went to relieve himself.

As everybody knows, for the non-handicaped stalls, the doors swing inward, but not outward. Also, the stall he was in happened to have a window above it.

The captain got the fire hose, snuck up to the window, and turned on the water. At this time, the prankster was just finished and was just about to open the stall door, when he heard a branch snap. He spun around only to be plastered to the door by a blast of water. And since the door didn't swing outward, he was stuck there for a good two minutes while the captain was enjoying himself.

The prankster never again pulled a prank on the captain

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When my dad was just married to my mom, they decided to move into a cabin in the forest for the summer.

Well, there were lots and lots of trees, and my dad wanted to start a garden of some sort. So, my dad got out the chainsaw and got to work.

There was one tree that was in the way, so it took only ten minutes to cut most of the way through. "TIMBER!" He finally shouted but didn't need to because "Thunk!" it fell into the tree next to it. So, to get the first tree down, it took another ten minutes to cut down the other tree. But, unfortunetly, "Thunk!" that also fell into the tree next to it. He wasn't paying attention to where it was leading because it took five more tries to get the trees down. Like I said, he wasn't paying attention to the last tree when it fell, but he should've. Because, "CRASH!" that last tree fell into the cabin my mom and dad were living in. My mom ran out of the house with a dishtowel and an apron. It took my dad three minutes just to explain what happened with my mom chattering at him like a squirrel. She was so scared, she didn't forgive him until a week later.

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