For the Sake of the Call

For the Sake of the Call

Aug. 2, 2007 - Rhythm

It's that time of year again where homeschoolers everywhere are looking ahead to starting school again and talking or blogging about SCHEDULES. Last week I enjoyed visiting with honeybee and she shared about her journey with Managers of Their Homes (MOTH). She's now blogging through the book and sharing some great insights with regard to schedules. The Lord was really speaking to me through her in our conversation last week and I have continued to pray and examine my own unscheduled life as I have read her posts. It's been very edifying.

I, too, attempted to implement a schedule using MOTH about 4 years ago. After about 3 weeks, I was exhausted, frazzled, and defeated. I am not--- by nature, upbringing, or personality--- a scheduled person. Even when I was nursing my babies and all the other moms around me were scheduling, I read Babywise and Prep for Parenting, implemented a loose routine, and quickly threw it out the window whenever it wasn't working for us. Some days it worked out that I nursed every 4 hours, other days were spent on the couch nursing. My children have all grown to be very flexible and adapt well to change (with the exception of my 4th due to her unique personality). They've never required a specific bedtime routine in order to go to sleep at night (although my 4th would probably benefit from one). I have continued to be a very relaxed mom and a relaxed homeschooler. As a result, my kids are independent, and able to entertain themselves; they play well together (mostly) and alone. When friends complain of struggling to keep their kids entertained and having kids who complain about being bored or continually ask, "What are we doing next?"; I have been unable to relate. My kids just aren't like that. Just last week, I talked to an older mother who is generally very scheduled in the schoolyear and she said that the one downside is that when summer comes, her kids struggle to entertain themselves. She harkened back to her childhood days and the creative ways they amused themselves then and lamented that,"kids today don't play like they once did." Perhaps that is true for the majority of kids, but my kids do. They stay outside for as long as I allow them and don't complain of heat or bugs. When they do come inside, they play. The girls set up beauty shops and restaurants in their bedrooms and talk to eachother with refined Brittish accents. My son doesn't just build legos and then get bored and ask for a new kit, he plays with them, or rebuilds them in different designs. They all have very long attention spans and can spend a great deal of time on one specific thing. They have a grand time and I credit a lot of this to the fact that they have been given the gift of unstructured free time and lots of it.

I do not say this to brag or boast nor to critique those who are very scheduled, but only to say that as I wrestle with the lack of structure in our house and look around at the number of things that are not getting accomplished, I feel the tug to conform to the notion of scheduling every minute of the day, but I am torn because of the advantages I have seen with not doing so. So where is the balance? Is it possible to implement a loose schedule? How specific of a schedule do I need to have to accomplish the things that must be done without making myself crazy in the process and still allowing my children the benefits of unscheduled free time?

I know myself. Even as I talk to my husband about my concerns about scheduling and feeling like I would be setting myself up for failure if I put into place a plan to start such and such at this set time and then follow with the other thing at such time his response was wholehearted agreement. Knowing me and my personality, he believes I would be setting myself up for failure if I tried to run my life by the clock. And he's right! God did not create me to be looking at the clock every 30 minutes or so. So what am I to do?

As I prayed, seeking balance, the word rhythm came to mind. God is a God of order. There is a rhythm to His creation. The world turns, circling the sun, the sun appears to rise, every morning, but not always at the same time, days are longer in the summer than they are in the winter. There is a rhythm: sun-up, sun-down, the seasons come and go, but there is also change and flexibility. The first day of spring and the first springlike day are often seperated by a week or more. Sometimes springtime temperatures come earlier, sometimes later, and it varies greatly depending on where you live. But always, there is a rhythm. What God has been impressing on my heart is that I need to find and establish a rhythm to my days: an orderly but flexible plan. I'm continuing to pray and attempting to put something on paper, a series of smaller routines for the morning, afternoon and evening all the while surrendering myself and my designs to Him, the Creator God, asking that He would order my days. Then, I will rely on one of my life verses, "The mind of man plans his way but the Lord directs his steps." Step by step, day by day, I will look to Him and ask Him to do so. I am sure that some days will appear more orderly than others, but I will trust that even on those days where the toilets are overflowing and the kids are running fevers, that He has a perfect plan for us even then.

My days will look different from yours and the way I order them might not be the same as the way you order yours, but that's okay. God created us uniquely and gifted us in different ways. He has entrusted unique children to each one of us and He knew what He was doing when He gave me my children and you yours. Each one of us must seek Him and His will for us each day and morning by morning new mercies we'll see. "The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, His mercies never come to an end, they are new every morning, Great is Thy faithfulness, O Lord."

• Post A Comment!

Aug. 2, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by nsremom

That was a terrific post. I blogged today about a super article that JENIG wrote and it coincides with some of your points. I recommend reading it!

I'm a sprinter. I can set out a great schedule, I can print it up, I can order a bunch of books. But I always....every, single year. Run out of steam. I just can't keep up that kind of pace.

I also liked the word rhythym that you wove through your post. Because I'm needing to see that my family's adventures moving around from place to place really is awesome. 75% of the time I just wanna tell everyone how SUPER this life is. Those other days? I feel like a failure who is behind on teaching my kids cursive, or something else just as mundane.

(but they know all about sealife!)

How wonderful that you can ask your husband who knows you better than you do yourself, and he was kind enough to be honest with you. Don't set yourself up for failure. I liked your day by day thought as well. And that would make schedulers break out in hives, but I dare say that it's all a wash in the end.....

I dare say it! but you get smart/happy kidlets doing it BOTH ways.

Sorry for the book. You just hit on something I've been thinking about the last couple of days. You've done that before too! *insert strange music*

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Aug. 2, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by socalval

Wow. A lot of good stuff was shared by you today. Great stuff! Well, I am a schedule kind of person, but at times I wish I wasn't. I once took my watch off my arm and threw it out the window to see if I could function without the dependence on time. It was a learning experience. Needless to say, it taught me a few things - I've learned to relax a bit and that the world wasn't going to end if I didn't do things at a specific time. Crazy as it sounds, my kids have a much mellower life than mine - the Lord has used them to teach me a few lessons. They can entertain themselves... it's crazy to see the adventurous things they can make out of milk cartons! Just give them water and mud and I've got a few hours to entertain myself!!!

I enjoyed your blog... so much today!

Valerie

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Aug. 2, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by 2peter318

That's a good post. It does show how different we are all made, and how different our kids are. I'm glad the Lord is showing you what works for your family. :)
JoAnn

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Aug. 3, 2007 - Sounds like the way to go

Posted by bubbebobbie

I tried doing it according the the schedule and all that did was bring school to my home. That was not what God nor I wanted.

because of Jesus, Bobbie

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Aug. 3, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by StillHisGirl

So well written, sweet friend. You are such a treat. :)

I LOVED your comment about your kids being excited to see mine. It made my day. Let's get something on the calendar!!

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Aug. 3, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by grace4gayle

SUCH a good post. Every year, right about now, I spend hours making a color coded MOTH schedule that I follow for about 3 months before I burn out. And all that time I beat myself up because I can only stick to it until about 11am and then I totally screw up! Argh! But when I look at our days we DO have a schedule. We do the same things at about the same time everyday. And that's what works for us. But everyday is a little bit different then the next. I need to let that be O.K.

Thanks for the encouragment.

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Aug. 3, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by chickadee

you know, we all have to decide what works best for our family. i am not super scheduled either. i would call what we have a loose schedule. we get up (whenever we get up-no set time most days), eat breakfast, begin school, break for lunch, resume school then call it a day. they are free to play until supper when they begin their chores and then are free again until right before bedtime when they clean up for bed. and this is all subject to change if we decide to go somewhere that day.

you'll find your routine and you'll know you've got it when it's working for your family.

chickadee@afamiliarpath.blogspot.com

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Aug. 3, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by MiryClay

I don't run a tight schedule here, but I run somewhat of a schedule. I have days that I do certain things that I know for sure those things are going to get accomplished. However, for the most part I take life as it comes. I think sometimes when we are too scheduled it doesn't allow room for growth. I have friends that have every second of their day scheduled. I think....'Are we as a person defined by how many days we have marked on our Calendars?, or are we defined by how we were able to make a difference in someone's life b/c we weren't too busy to take time with them?' Just my thoughts! I love this quote...."Don't think about yesterday, yesterday is gone. Tomorrow isn't written, so make today your song!" author unknown.

Blessings,
Lori

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Aug. 3, 2007 - I can really relate!

Posted by Darrensgirl

I have tried to schedule my days down to the half hour or 15 minute blocks, and I found myself so discouraged. What works better for us is a looser schedule, but not loose. In fact, as I've added another little student, my scedule has become a bit tighter on one hand and looser on the other. I really admire moms who can keep to a very tight schedule, but I find a "secure" fitting one works best for us. Not too tight...not too loose. That's also the reason I don't make lesson plans weeks or months in advance. I get really discouraged when I get behind, so I have a firm plan of what get's covered each day, I break down certain subjects for the week (ie Apologia science for my older students) and then I record what actually gets done each day as it's turned in, with a grade when applicable. That way my records are complete with grades and something to look back on for the year, and I also try to make sure that everythign gets graded and each child has a chance to make corrections before the books go back on the shelf. We're not totally perfect, every single day, but much more organized than when I started out.
Rats...I've written you another epistle!!! You bring out my ramblings with your thought- provoking blogs:)

Have a great week end,
Maggie

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Aug. 3, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Dedee

I needed this today. I get so frantic about the fact that my kids aren't doing something every minute of the soemtimes. I feel guilty, as if I'm not doing enough to raise them right in a world that requires commitment and fairly rigorous scheduling.

This post made me realize that it's ok and I need to work with the over all picture. My kids need to be able to understand a schedule, but they also need flexibility in that schedule. My kids have a bed time, but that's for my sanity more than anything. However, they get to pick their own timeline to get their work done.

I really need to ponder this more. Rhythm.

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Aug. 3, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by ReneeM

You speak to my heart, and sounds like our hearts have had the exact (almost :) ) conversation with God!!

I need more "structure", but to structured and I fail... I like the idea of a rhythm... now how to implement it? :)

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Aug. 3, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Honeybee

Well, dear friend, I'd have to say you are on to something! I remember one attempt to schedule where I took all the times off and just used the list as a loose order. Surprisingly this worked well! (Surprising to me!). I guess I am a schedule type of person--Babywise and I got along great!--but I never would have really believed it since I haven't necesssarily adhered to one. My family laughs at me because I despise being late, for example. Ray says that's the scheduler in me. Hmmm... I think more than anything, even a scheduler, I'm a gleaner--gleaning the best of whatever source I'm learning from. It just seems to take longer to get smarter that way. :) Well, I'm already experiencing victory after victory through this process, so that makes my heart glad!

Keep on keeping on!
Love,
Melissa

PS Did you get my note about Sun?

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Aug. 3, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Anonymous

Well, that was an interesting and rich post. I loved picturing your kids playing, especially the British accents. :~) My kids are very independent, but the other four I take care of get bored at my house. I just don't understand that! It drives me slightly batty. Sometimes they like my ideas for combating boredom and sometimes not. Sometimes they actually would rather do chores for me than the art projects I suggest! Any ideas on getting them to be more creative and independent??

Just like many of your other commenters, the loose schedule works for us too. As long as everything gets done - or most things - in a day, why does it matter if it gets done at a set time? We have some time goals & I use the clock for some things, but we're not glued to it.

I'm excited to hear how things work for you this year with your new "rhythms"!

-Sarah

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Aug. 5, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by CountryMomof4

My schedule sounds a lot like yours. I tried the MOTH thing and guess what... It did nothing but make me feel like a failure, so I tossed it. And, to let you in on a little secret, one of the ladies who have a sample schedule in that book was an acquaintance of mine, and well, let's just say we are not the only ones who can't follow those rigid schedules. ;) ~Karlie

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About Me

Philosophical musings from the heart of a home-educating mommy of four and wife of ten years. "May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in Thy sight, O LORD, my rock and my Redeemer." Psalms 19:14