For the Sake of the Call

For the Sake of the Call

Dec. 19, 2007 - Some women, but not me

Some women are talented enough to be able to do all sorts of cool things with their families and in their homes during the Christmas season and then blog all about them. Some women, but not me.

It's that time of year where I vacillate between Joy to the World and Bah! Humbug! The days fly by and I don't know where they've gone or what I've really accomplished. Dreams of writing Christmas letters and making cute crafts with the kids and baking sugar cookies and pumpkin bread are never so easily accomplished in the light of day. The to-do list seems to never end, and I wonder what is the point of it all. I'm not exactly stressed, nor am I overwhelmed; unmotivated would better describe what I'm feeling. The desire to have all the loveliness of a Martha Stewart Christmas is there, but I lack the talent, ability, organization, and drive to pull it off. I long for a quiet, simple, Christmas, but the pressure is there to go all out. I haven't succumbed to that pressure, but then I feel like I've failed somehow. Some women seem to accomplish it so easily. Some women, but not me.

Somewhere in the past couple of weeks I've lost my focus, and my joy. I know the root issue: I haven't been abiding in Christ. In this season which is supposedly all about Him, I've distanced myself from Him. I don't know why. It seems rather foolish. I'm honestly and truly a "Mary" at heart, but I feel like Martha, "worried and distracted with all her preparations." I really need to sit at my Savior's feet. O come let us adore him, right? Right. My one true desire this season was to be saturated in God's Word and I regret that it hasn't happened. Some women are radiant from being in His presence. Some women, but not me.

I didn't exactly plan to write this post. I just wanted to pop in and let you all know that I'm not dead yet. Perhaps my transparency will encourage you. I certainly don't mean to depress you; I'm just trying to be real. Some women appear to have it all together and never let on that they feel rotten inside. Some women but not me.

P.S. On an entirely different note, my real life friend Kraig wants some input about homeschoolers. So go read his post, and be honest, but please remember to use your nice words.

• Post A Comment!

Dec. 20, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by chickadee@afamiliarpath.blogspot.com

this week started out very well for us. we read some christmas books, i was reading luke to them and we were watching the movies at night with dad, then today i had some errands to run and we got way off track. and baking, well i'm not some women. for me a baking day with my kids is torture. but i may let them make sugar cookies on friday. maybe. maybe. we'll see.

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Dec. 20, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by ReneeM

my tradition of making plates of treats and baked goods for everyone... has been broken. ok I have 5 days to do it, but lets be real... its broken!!

Just wanted to let you know... so you feel better about not doing it all. :)

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Dec. 20, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Anonymous

I always have grand plans... but here it is December 20th. We've only baked once and watched one Christmas movie and read a couple Christmas books. It hasn't been like I wanted it to. And I have a tendency to get down on myself, but I have to give myself grace...my kids are happy and they know what Christmas is all about, and I'm trusting a little can go a long way.

I have NO DOUBT you give your kids meaningful, precious times. You're a great mommy. And I for one love your transparency.

And thank you for your life-giving words to me this week.
Cindy
www.stillhisgirl.blogspot.com

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Dec. 20, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by psalms16vs2

Thank you so much for your honesty and writing this post. I feel exactly the same. I just wrote what I'm going through recently too. We don't need to follow someone else's version of Christmas, we need to do our version. I pray you have a great Christmas and enjoy all you do and don't do. :)
JoAnn

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Dec. 20, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Emily

Anyone who gives her dear bloggy friend homework over the week, is a good person in my book.

You know how I'm feeling and you're SO right about the whole focus thing. When I was playing some carols the other night on the guitar I got choked up to tears reading some of the powerful words.

I tried to do O Come O Come Emmanuel, like you guys did at your church service, but I'm so slow it's painful to listen to. But I slowly sung the words and it actually was MORE impactful. Beautiful.

I've been thinking about Jesus being my redeemer lately. You know, taking the garbage and REDEEMING me. (maybe that should be YOUR homework....give me an essay on the word Redeemer and references in the Bible....)

ha, got ya.

Emily
thelearningneverstops.blogspot.com

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Dec. 20, 2007 - Thanks for your honesty and openness, Angel.

Posted by A friend in Virginia....

First, I wanted to wish you and Chris and your precious children a Merry Christmas. It was so refreshing, Angel, to read your blog today. I am sitting here trying to get my "house in order" and thought I'd check in on your blog (obviously, I wanted a distraction from housework too). So, it was wonderful to read and hear that I am not the only one feeling the way I do (same as your are). Living in these parts, it is difficult to not be around the "Martha Stewart" houses, and sometimes I feel that it is a big distraction for me, it takes my focus completely off the real meaning of the season of Advent and Christmas. So, I'll stick with my advent wreath, tilted Christmas tree, and very few decorations and remember that, like you, I need to be more at His feet this season praising Him for His wonderful blessings and for all that He has blessed me with.
Wishing you all a Merry Christmas and happy, healthy new year. Oh, and you'll get a Christmas card from us one of these days- yeah, a bit late with that too!
Love and Blessings,
Joan Kirkwood

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Dec. 20, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by socalval

Hello. Hope your having a great Christmas season! I'm finding it hard to get around and say hello to all my friends. Please forgive me if I don't say hello every day - I do stop and read though. Have a great weekend!

Valerie

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Dec. 20, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Gayle

You know what? I don't believe anyone who constantly appears to have it all together.
I appreciate your truthfullness, because the truth is, we all have been there and probably will be again.
Go sit and pour it all out before your Father who loves and misses you. Purge every single thought that you have and don't stop until you cry (that may sound weird, so I will explain by saying that I am not a very weepy person by nature, but when I need get things straight with God, the job usually isn't done until I have really been moved to tears...hope that doesn't sound too weird).
It takes so much to keep our focus upward instead of vertical during this time of year, but if you think about it, the spiritual battle has got to be increased around those who wish to truly celebrate the birth of our Savior. The enemy could never have that, so he nails us with busyness, materialism, family strife, and countless other things.
Hang in there sister, and go put on that armor...
Love to you in Christ,
Gayle
thewestiecrew.blogspot.com

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Dec. 20, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Anonymous

Thanks for being honest in this post...so many moms I have been speaking with lately have shared these same feelings--as do I. I've become so busy lately that I am just nothing but stressed and tired, overwhelmed. What I need to do is get in the Word, get fed and spend some time with God alone! It's the only thing that is going to allow me to be here for my family. I know that I feel distanced from Him when I am actually not in the Word. That may not be the case for you though. Thank you so much for sharing. I pray you get some time with Him to, that you get refreshed and that it is reflected in the holiday with your beautiful family.
Remember though, our feelings don't equal our spiritual health. Don't be too hard on yourself!
www.byhisgoodgrace.blogspot.com

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Dec. 21, 2007 - {{{Hugs}}}]

Posted by FaithfulGrace

I appreciate your transparency.
I know that your children are enjoying their mom and the Christmas that you are having with them.
God understands,
Enjoy the saturation of His presence,
Linda

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Dec. 23, 2007 - I read your friends' post about youth groups and homeschoolers.

Posted by REInvestor

And I though your post was awesome. Very articulate and well spoken. I agree with what you said completely. None of this parenting stuff is forumulaic so we have to continue to rely on the Lord. Somehow I think He wants it that way.

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Dec. 24, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Anonymous

I totally feel the same. I've run like a chicken with no head all week. I've been baking, being school room mom and last minute shopping. I am so sick of baking and feel I've missed out on the Season. Not at all what I had planned!! Hoping to make the most of what is left.

Mel

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Dec. 27, 2007 - me too

Posted by MasonMoments

I have felt the same this Christmas season. I did have grand plans but they never really materialized. We did start advent and reading through Jotham's Journey but we didn't even finish that yet.
I recently read an article on this topic and how as Mom's we may plan and try to create memories for our children but it isn't necessary. Our children find memories in the everyday things. They may remember the pine smell of a freshly decorated tree or a special ornament they selected. I don't remember doing special crafts as a child or helping to bake cookies but certain songs I hear remind me of my Dad and getting all dolled up or new p.j.'s remind me of my Mom. Ahh, simple but sweet memories. -- Amy

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About Me

Philosophical musings from the heart of a home-educating mommy of four and wife of ten years. "May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in Thy sight, O LORD, my rock and my Redeemer." Psalms 19:14