A Day in the Life

A View From a Deaf Sky

"View from a deaf sky"

Music is important to everyone, so very important. There are songs to listen to, musical pieces played on piano and guitar, a capella singing, tapping your fingers, the hum of everyday appliances. There is music all around us. There is music in the whistling of the wind, the rustling of leaves, dogs barking. If you stop and are still, you can still hear a thousand sounds all comprising a majestic orchestra. Everyone is affected by music whether they admit it or not.

When my son went deaf I went through a grieving process. I am still not finished grieving for his lost hearing. I wear that grief like a cloak every day. In my dreams he is a whole child, complete with hearing, then when I wake up reality sets in. One thing I gave up for nearly two years was music. I love a whole range of musical styles. Classical, jazz, opera, light rock, country, gospel, hymns, I see beauty in all things. My children were taking piano lessons and guitar, and singing in church, we were a musical family. Then when Ben lost what little hearing he had, I gave up hope. I couldn’t bear to listen to anything with out feeling enormous guilt. I would gladly give up my hearing for him to have his. With my depression and my pity party, the children even stopped piano lessons for a year. When a tragedy happens to one person in a family, everyone is troubled by it. Things start to change the familial dynamics. Even now, every other child in the family has been taught to watch out for and to help with Ben. When the children sing and play music as a group, there is a spot empty, a spot that should include my son. He is there though, eager to cheer them on, happy for the rest, on the sidelines as always.

I was thinking about how important music is to me, I’m always humming a tune, or listening to a song on the radio. I guess I am becoming well again, even though my son isn’t. Or maybe he is. He is happy, and I have a glimmer of hope that he hasn’t forgotten music. I often catch him snapping his fingers and bobbing his head, sometimes in conjunction with a song on the radio. Even though he can’t hear it at all, he is aware of a beat, a rhythm. Maybe God has given him a song in his head. I pray he has one or two he remembers. I can’t imagine just silence every hour of every day for the next 80 years or so. Even now as I write this, I hear the ceiling fan going around and around and I am ever mindful of all God has given me. I read something today that said something like this, of all the things the universe has given us, we are only aware of what we do not have.

Pamela Roy copyright 10/12/07

Untitled Comment

9:50 PM, Oct. 24, 2007 .. Posted by LeviSuarez

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Silence

9:46 AM, Nov. 9, 2007 .. Posted by Anonymous

Grief. I understand that feeling.

Regarding silence, perhaps the deaf may hear the small, quiet voice of the Lord easier than the rest of us who have our worlds filled with much noise.

Just a thought.

Untitled Comment

2:41 PM, May. 21, 2008 .. Posted by Hollie Mae

I now have the answer to the question I asked on Facebook. I have a sister who is deaf, but not profoundly deaf. She can still hear in one ear through the use of special hearing aids. It is truly sad that your son has gone deaf, but it sounds like he is not dwelling on what he doesn't have, rather all he still has to enjoy in life! What a testimony of God's grace in his life! God can use him mightily, in spite of his "handicap" - it may just be a tool God will use to reach those whom we (the hearing world) would never be able to reach! It is still sad, and I am sad with you, but at least we, as believers, are not without hope!
Hugs,
Hollie Mae