Tuesday, October 28, 2008 - A Christian's Response to Special Needs
October is Down Syndrome Awareness Month. Although the month is drawing quickly to a close, I did want to do a post highlighting an issue that is pretty close to my heart.
As most of you know, I have two siblings with Down Syndrome. Stephen is fifteen, and Lila is just a few weeks shy of eleven. Because Stephen is only two years younger than me, I've virtually lived in "Down Syndrome world" all my life. I grew up with it. I know a lot about it, and special needs in general. I can understand my sibling's speech when nobody else can. I can name the best therapists in the country. Scratch that. I knew how to do Beckman oral therapy in elementary school. I know about muscle hypotonia and congenital heart defects, Mosaicsim and palpebral fissures.
It's a sure bet that I know more about the world of Down Syndrome than the average person. I know more about the medical and physical aspects of it, though--I know about life with it. I know about life with special needs children in general--from having two Downs siblings, as well as two special needs siblings that died.
I also know that people with any special needs, and their families, need a lot of support. Sadly, I see secular groups giving more support than Christian ones. This is a fabulous opportunity to help others--and expand the Kingdom--yet where are the churches when it comes to aiding those with disabilities? Groups like Special Olympics, NDSS, the ARC, and other outreaches are great secular organizations. But where do the Christian groups and individuals fit in? Secular organizations do great earthly work-but who does the eternal in the special needs community?
We're quick to help "the widows and orphans" in other countries. We can pack up a shoebox of presents for children in Africa, or help build a church in Iraq, thanks to some wonderful ministries. These are great. But the destitute in other countries aren't the only ones who need help or even salvation. Look around your community, and probably even church, and you are definitely bound to find a family with special needs.
It can be a bit overwhelming to work with anyone with special needs. What do you do, and how do you react to their disability? Will you say the wrong thing? What if the individual doesn't respond to you? Those are normal fears. I live with special needs siblings, and although of course I'm fine with them, when I meet other children and adults with special needs, I'm a bit nervous. Why? Because they are people, and different people. Even special needs people are different from each other. They all require a different sort of attention. And you aren't going to know what kind of attention to give them until you get to know them. For example, my brother Stephen is very quiet and withdrawn--unless you are very affectionate and playful with him. You can't be "oh, he wants to be left alone, so I'll give him some space" with Stephen. You have to be in his face. Yet with other children I've seen, it's the opposite. They'll love you, but you don't have to overdo it with them. You really have to just feel the individual out--like you would with any person, but it is exaggerated with special needs people. It will be hard at first--and it will be work. But it will pay off!
Now, how do you help? How are some ways to get involved in the special needs community?
1. Your church.
Most churches don't have a special needs ministry, but a lot of them have special needs children and adults in the church. They need a place in the church, too, but it's hard often, as they don't fit in like a typical person would. For instance, a sixteen year old with Down Syndrome may not have the ability to fit in a high school youth group. Yet it might be unfair to put him in a class of seven year olds. Churches that employ a special needs ministry often have a special class for special needs children, or they use volunteers to work one on one with the individuals in their own classroom, so the teacher doesn't have to take the time out to give him more attention than the other students, which he may require. Most importantly, get the parents and families of the individuals involved. See which kind of programs they enjoy. Another great option is to have a churchwide support group. Organize fun outings together--for the whole families of special needs individuals. This is also a great evangelism tool as you can open the events to the community. You'd be surprised how many people have no interest in church merely because there is no place for their children with disabilities.
2. Homeschooling
If you know a homeschooling family with special needs kids, it is a great place to get involved. The special needs kids will require extra help in school, and thus more time. This is difficult not just for the special needs kids, but for the moms and even for the other children in the family who need Mom's attention. You can easily help out here--whether by giving the mom a break, or helping with tutoring. Or just help the kids have fun! We had a friend who came once or twice and just played games with my brother all afternoon. They both loved it! Another thing--if there is a special needs child in your homeschool co-op class or team, it easy to be encouraging, help them, and accept them into the class, while understanding that they will require different standards and attention than you will. That goes for teachers as well as students!
3. Support Awareness and General Human Rights
About 90% of children diagnosed with Down Syndrome before birth are aborted. That's not birth control, that's not helping the parents, that's not "I can't handle a special needs child" even. That's eugenics. That's killing off an entire group of people. Millions of people. That's definitely another holocaust.
In February Al-Qaeda in Iraq strapped explosives on two women with Down Syndrome and set the unknowing victims into crowded markets. The remote controlled explosives killed 91, including the two women. This isn't the first time Al-qaeda has used disabled people to do their dirty work.
In Russia, children with Down Syndrome are most often placed in an institution. This is not to be confused with an orphanage. In an institution, children are kept in a room--or often even restraints--and in horrible conditions. There is no school, no therapy, no people to engage them. In fact, in many institutions, visitors aren't allowed to even pick up a child, for fear the child may bond with another human and demand attention and love after that--and how dare they!
In Illinois, a baby was born with Down Syndrome. The parents had wanted an abortion but it was unsuccessful. The baby survived, was delivered, and even appeared to be doing well. The nurse, however, "disposed" of the live baby. Legislation was proposed to protect these fullterm healthy babies who survived abortions and make sure they receive proper medical care that an adult or older child would be entitled to.
Worldwide, the statistics and incidents are startling. Despite the progress that has been made in our own country--people do, normally, accept and love disabled children--we've come a long way from the point where no one has ever even heard of Down Syndrome because children born with it were "put away quietly" in shame. Yet we've still got a lot more to do. How can you help here?
You can get involved with a number of groups. Even if you can't physically volunteer, adopt, or help with your own abilities, then consider helping financially. A great start is NATHAAN/CHASK, which is a support group for and adoption agency. CHASK places adoptions of children with special needs, saving many babies from abortions. Groups like Samaritan's Purse have ministries to help fly children with heart conditions to America for life saving surgery, as well supplying medical con supplies in foreign countries.
Another point---my last example about the baby in Illinois. Something you can do to affect this--vote. Vote in this election for the candidate who would not support this atrocious act. Forget that Sarah Palin has a beautiful little boy with Down Syndrome (who, by the way, has the best opportunities possible for a child with DS, not to mention, would even more so with a mother as a VP, as she would be able to devote herself more fully to motherhood with that position), and promises to fight for the support of special needs children. That is great, but also remember this--Barack Obama voted AGAINST the Illinois act to save babies, including this baby with Down Syndrome. Your simple vote this election for John McCain will help to improve conditions for disabled individuals all over the world. John McCain is the only candidate--not just against Obama but ALL of the third party candidates--who will support life all over the world, and including the life and rights that our special needs individuals deserve.
4. Individuals
I saw them every week at Special Olympics. The parents were in their seventies, at least. They should have been retired. They should have been enjoying grandchildren, leisure, and even being taken care of by their children at their age. Instead, they were still taking care of a child--their fifty year old daughter with Down Syndrome. They faithfully brought her to practice and competitions. They took care of her.
For most parents, parenting is a lifetime job. It's not usually "oh, they are eighteen, let's forget them". Most parents are involved in their child's life beyond adulthood. Yet for parents of special needs, they aren't just eternal parents to their children. They are eternal caretakers for their child. Other children grow up and settle. These children never grow up, never settle. There are two options for them--being thrown into a group home, which although many times great, sometimes are places of abuse, and of course, simply, they are places of change. The individual is taken away from his home, his family, because his parents are too old to properly care for him any more. If he remains with his parents, how is he going to be taken care of? Who is going to take care of the parents as they age? How will they afford growing care and medical costs as they probably no longer have an income?
A seven year girl has a severely autistic brother. He's a handful, for sure. The seven year old girl's friends and their families are all getting together for a pool party. The girl isn't invited, though. She may or may not realize it, but it's because of her brother.
Maybe it is not even that intentional. Maybe a boy with autism is not invited because he's severely disabled or even "a handful." Maybe he isn't invited because he isn't friends with anyone. Not that people don't understand him--he just gets overlooked. So does his family. Special needs kids blend in the background, sometimes. Don't forget them or their families.
The above three situations, along with many more, occur more than you would think. Keep your eye out for them--and step in if you can! There's a multitude of ways--by your finances, talents, and even just love, that you can help a family with special needs children. They are everywhere--and they might need your help!
These are all just a few ideas of how to get involved. Help. Befriend. Support. Give. Play. Teach. Volunteer. It's easier than it sounds. Just a few minutes of your time-- hugging a child at church, or inviting an overlooked special needs child to a birthday party, are really easy tasks and can be done by anyone. As Christians, we have responsibility to show God's love to everyone--and in this way churches and Christians have sadly neglected it. Find a way to get involved!
Finally I'll leave you with a few links:
Samaritan's Purse's Project Restoration
Christian Institute on Disability
Comments
Wednesday, October 29, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by lotrsavvy
I know!!! I will, today...
Hehehehe. Yeah...
Ah, cool. :) Well, I'll probably take an English lit class or two, but I have to take the second American Lit... I don't think I'll like it too much since it's after the 1800's to modern... probably a lot of weird stuff...
Jennifer
Wednesday, October 29, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by carygrant19
Thank you, thank you. It feels good to be 14!
I love your pictures. I can't figure out how to put them on mine, though....I have problems. Oh well. :)
Thursday, October 30, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by CrossView
This is such a beautifully written and thought out post! Very convicting!
And you're so right! Where is the Christian community? =/
When I was working in Special Ed, I fell into some side work that was interesting to me. I ended up babysitting for special needs children at my home. The pay was tremendous and the parents were so thrilled to get a night out once in awhile. I had a blast! I only watched one at a time so they could get lots of attention. That was such a long time ago.... But I was young and never even thought about the fact that parents of special needs kids wouldn't be able to get a sitter??!!
Monday, November 3, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by ChristineDaae
That is cool! It is a scene near the end, when they are all trying to figure out where they are. Except I changed some lines around and got it all down to three main characters, Lucy, Peter and Edmund. There are also a couple lines from Farsight and Jewel the Unicorn as well. It ends in "Faster and faster they raced, but no one got hot or tired or out of breath." What scene are you doing? I love the Chronicles of Narnia. God bless!
In Christ,
Christine
Tuesday, November 4, 2008 - <em>Untitled Comment</em>
Posted by ChesapeakeGirl
Ohh, that makes me soo angry!!! There is NOTHING wrong with people with Down Syndrome!!! Yet people cut them down and do horrible things to them. I saw a woman in the grocery store the other day and her little boy said "hi" to a little girl with Down Syndrome, and the boy's mother draged her son away and reprimanded him, telling him that "we don't talk to people like that." My mom had to drag me away before I started yelling at the lady. Sorry for ranting, it just makes me so upset. I hope a lot of people read this.
Anyways, I love Maine too!! I use to go up there a lot and I am going on an art trip at the end of May to Portland, Maine. And then this summer I am going to Belgium with one of my best friends. I am so excited!!
Things are going good. I have been really busy with school and such. Really missing Maryland. I spent this past summer there and spent most my time at the Academy and Downtown, mid hunting ;-) What have you been up to???
Edited by ChesapeakeGirl on Wednesday, November 5, 2008 at 8:21 AM
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