“Where’s Duppy?”  It’s a common question Funny Guy asks before bedtime or when he’s upset.  From there, the search is on.  “Duppy” is his blanket – soft, with a hippopotamus head in one corner and tail in the other.  Now, while Duppy may just be a blanket to you or me, it’s very special to my son and he treasures it.  He feels secure when it’s with him at night, and it comforts him when he feels sad.  There’s no going to sleep without Duppy.  So – we search . . . really search.

Sometimes Duppy is easy to find, snuggled down underneath the covers or under the pillow.  But there have been times when it seems hopeless, like we’ll never find him.  At those times the search becomes more intense.  Every room is targeted; nothing is left unturned or unopened, all in an effort to find Duppy.  If you have kids, surely you’ve been there.  Your little one is anxious that their precious item is missing so you search high and low.  When it’s found, all is well.  For us, our son is calmed, gets in bed, and goes to sleep cuddled tightly with his Duppy.  We sought, and we found.  Duppy was always there, around us.  We just had to look and seek him out.

How often am I like that in my relationship with the Lord?  His Word tells me to seek Him with all my heart.  But do I really do that?  When Duppy is missing we search intently until he is found.  Now I am left wondering if perhaps I should search a little deeper for my Lord. 

What does it mean to seek, or to search?  Well, when we are looking for Duppy we look everywhere – in every room, under every blanket, pillow, or bed.  In seeking God, I need to do the same.  I don’t really mean looking under the pillow or blanket – but I should be earnestly seeking Him throughout the day in everything.  Perhaps it’s in my quiet time and Bible reading.  It’s also quite likely that He’s everywhere around me, in every interruption or encounter.  I need to look for God’s hand in everything around me – the smile on my son’s face, the teachable moment with my daughter when she’s frustrated with her brother, or the snow that came uncharacteristically early and sent us into chaos searching for warmer clothes.  His Word says if I seek Him, I will find him.

There are times in my life when it seems like God is so far away, like He’s not around – just like Duppy for my son when we can’t find him.  And when that happens, I too, don’t sleep well and am more anxious about my life.  I need to feel God closer to me.  So I find myself challenged now to search high and low, leave nothing unturned or unopened, all in order to find my Lord during those times.  Oh, He’s always there, but sometimes I’m so blind that I don’t see Him all around me.  So I need to search with open eyes, open heart, open mind.  He is the treasure I find in all sorts of places – if I search with my whole being. 

It looks like it will be another beautiful autumn day; and here I am at home with my youngest still recovering from what I think was the flu.  Sometimes I feel like such a bad mom.  I thought he was pretty well over it so we've been out and about and doing things outside the house the past couple days.   Then last night his temp started creeping back up.  Ugh!  So he and I stayed home from church today.

I do hope to get outside later today though.  It seems like there is so much that needs to be done before it gets too cold and winter sets in.  Plus, I love being outdoors.  It's invigorating and always lifts my mood.  So maybe, just maybe, I'll work a bit in the garden. . .or get the windows washed on the outside. . .or get my roses and lavender ready for winter.  We'll see!

We really have no excuse.  No excuse, that is, to acknowledge that we have a loving Creator.  As I read Psalm 19 today it says exactly that - well almost.  This is what it says:

Psalm 19

 "¹ The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands.  ² Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they display knowledge.  ³ There is no speech or language where their voice is not heard.    ⁴ Their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world."

And so it just struck me today how awesome our God is and that even if we humans don't acknowledge Him, His creation does.  Now, I've known that before - it just really stood out to me today.  How can I look at the skies, the stars, sun, and all the landscape around me and say there is no creator?  And even if we don't have His Word to teach us, it's still all there before us.  We really have no excuse, whereever we are.  God's glory is declared all around us.

Hello blogging world!  It's been awhile since I've found the time to sit down and write a bit.  May and June seemed to fly by with swimming lessons, baseball, and soccer.  I know it sounds like a lot.  And when I write it out like that I think to myself that we should cut back on activities.  But I also know that we have four wonderful kids, and even if each one of them has only one acitivity outside of the home, well, it can get to be alot.  In any case, May and June are always busy months.

Now July is here, summer is half way over, and we're on vacation.  Yeah!  We're really only the second day into it, but it's been fun.  We drove over 1500 miles to visit family.  That can be a long drive, but the kids did really well, even when we had to wait 6 hours for two tires part way through the trip.  Thank the Lord that we noticed the low tire before it went flat out in the middle of nowhere!  And in 1500 miles you know there has to be some road construction.  The beauty of it is that we drove right by Devil's Tower in Wyoming.  I've seen it from a distance before as we trekked across on the interstate, but never up close.  It's really quite awesome. 

In fact, the beauty all around me is amazing.  Today we were at my mother-in-law's hobby farm in northeast IA.  It is lush there.  Outside you can here the birds chirping all day long.  Butterflies flit across the gravel road in front of us.  The colors of the fields, trees, and flowers are breathtaking.  It's been a little over a year since we've been here and I've forgotten how lovely it is.  I know, there are no tall, impressive buildings or works of art that human hands have made here.  But standing out in the pasture this afternoon, watching my kids radiate excitement and joy at being here, I see an even more amazing sight - God's creation all around me.  No hands here can make what He has made.  I told my husband on the way back to town that I wanted to capture the beauty of the trees and fields behind the house with my camera.  But I couldn't.  The picture in no way represented the artistry that was before my eyes.  Only God can do that.   And He does it whereever we are.  Here are my favorites so far on this trip:  Devil's Tower, moonlight on Flathead Lake, summer at the farm.  All God's creations are good.  Today I'm reminded to look for the beauty in each one.

Tonight, I went through the drawers in the kitchen.  When we moved here almost 3 years ago I got rid of quite a bit of stuff in the kitchen, so there really wasn't that much to throw away or give away.  But I managed to find a few cups, sippy cups, and odd gadgets that we don't use anymore.  I don't know that they'll sell at a garage sale, but we certainly don't need them here anymore.  The drawers look much better and I tried to organize them a little differently too.  We'll see how long that lasts, but it's a start!

Earlier tonight we went to Boyzer's baseball game.  I always used to think of baseball as a time of warm, sunny afternoons.  Well, our spring the past two years has been a pretty chilly one.  Tonight I had on a turtleneck sweater with a hoodie sweatshirt, my coat, gloves, and a big warm blanket.  And I was still cold!  I can't wait until it warms up a little more here.   At least then we can watch the game without shivering the whole time. 

The game was a good one though.  Boyzer is in the major leagues this year with peewee baseball and on a new team to boot.  It's kind of nice too.  None of the players has been on a major league team before, and the coaches are very good.  They're really trying to teach the kids how to play a good ballgame and build a team that works together at the same time.  They encourage the boys to do their best and cheer their team mates on.  I like that.  On, and we won the game - 5 to 2.  Good job boys!

Today was a busy day.  As a result, I didn't get to my decluttering until late tonight.  So I picked an area that would be relatively quiet and got to work after everyone was in bed.  Tonight's focus was the bookshelves in the living room - well, at least two of them.  I don't know about everyone else, but I think homeschooling brings with it an abundance of books.

Our family loves to read; so it's hard to think of giving away or selling any of these books.  Some of them arouse wonderful memories of snuggles on the couch when my oldest two were real little.  Some are favorites and show their wear and tear.  Some are twaddle; not very good books.  Those are the ones I targeted first.  After that I looked at the those books that were good, but ones my kids have outgrown.

The books that come attached with memories are the hardest.  Where did the time go?  It seems like yesterday that I was reading board books to my oldest.  Now she's browsing the library website on her own and ordering things through interlibrary loan.  I know people say to enjoy your kids while they're little because it goes fast.  And I did enjoy it, and still do.  But there's still a part of me that relishes the thrill on a little one's face while they're snuggled against you reading a good picture book.  I miss that.  And I have to confess that as we've added more children to our family, the reading time has diminished.  I am saddened to think that my 5 year old hasn't had nearly as many books read to him as my oldest did at his age.  It's something I need, and want, to correct.  So going through all the books tonight was a good thing.  We have been blessed with a good selection of books.  I need to use them more - before my youngest is suddenly in the teen years. 

Well, how's that for getting off topic?  I'm still on track for decluttering though.  That's a good thing.  Tomorrow isn't quite a busy so I should be able to tackle a bigger area.  I'll think on that tonight and see what happens tomorrow.

Today I worked on my bedroom.  To be honest, it looks a lot better.   But I can't say that I totally decluttered.  I threw away a lot of stuff and put other things away, but I really need to go through the books on the bookshelf and the drawers in the vanity.  Too much stuff hides in those places.  So all to say: it looks better but it's not done.  One step at a time.  Maybe tomorrow I'll tackle the drawers or the book shelf.

As for other things - I wondered earlier today what invaded my home.  Really - something was in the air and infected all the kids.  Early on there was bickering, quarreling, and snide remarks.  It was definitely not a productive morning with all that going on.  Devotions with the two youngest were later than usual too, so I took advantage of it and prayed out loud about the whole atmosphere of our home this morning.  It took a little bit of time, but things did start to get better after that.  And it gave us some good discussion.  The older two had an assignment today to write about the deceitfulness of the devil.  Mind you, that was assigned before all the happenings this morning.   So yes, it gave us an opportunity to talk about how our battle is a spiritual battle and we need to keep in mind who the enemy really is.  And it's not your sister or brother.  The prayer and discussion time really quieted things down.  I'm thankful for that and the chance to help the kids see things through a Biblical viewpoint versus a worldly viewpoint.

I've been looking around the house lately and it seems like everywhere there is clutter.  Where did all this stuff come from?  I'll admit, I'm not that great of a housekeeper, but things just seem to pile up on their own.  And that makes for a more stressful home.  I love having a clean and well kept house.  I feel more at ease and able to focus on the things I need to do.  So my goal this week is to attack some of this clutter.  I'm also doing a garage sale with a friend in a couple weeks, so perhaps that will spur me on as well.

So what's the plan?  I think the simplest plan is to take it in small chunks.  If I try to do it all at once it gets overwhelming and then often doesn't get all done.  So I'm going to start with one room at a time, my bedroom being first.  If that's decluttered, it will be the easiest to maintain as well since the kids don't keep a lot of their stuff in here.

I cleaned out the closet a couple weeks ago, but I know there are still clothes in there that can be given away.  My dresser needs some attention, and I have a pile of books on the floor that I've been meaning to get rid of.  So that's my goal tomorrow.  I'll try that and see how it goes.

It's Saturday night.  The Easter eggs are done.  The plastic eggs we're hiding tomorrow are all filled with goodies.  The salad I'm bringing to dinner tomorrow is ready.  Clothes for the kids to wear tomorrow are all ready.  We cleaned the garage today, or rather my dear hubby and wonderful kiddos cleaned the garage today.  I decluttered the girls' closet area, cleaned floors, did laundry, and all sorts of other things.  Whew!  It was a busy day to end a busy, but nice, spring break week.  And tomorrow is. . .EASTER!!!  So thankful for all my Savior has done!

Anger.  Sometimes it's justified.  But many times it's just a time bomb that explodes without much warning, inflicting pain on anyone in its path.  Has it visited your home?  Lately, it seems to be showing up more and more in our home.  So when Monday's devotions with the kids dealt with anger, it was a timely and useful lesson.

We have one child that seems to get angry so much more easily than any of the others.  I think it's infectious though.  Once this child, our youngest, explodes everyone else catches it and our day goes downhill, at least for awhile.  So when Monday's devotion was about anger, we made that our focus.  

Our devotion talked about not letting ourselves become easily angered.  So the first day, when our youngest got angry, over a very minor thing, it was time to put the lesson into practice.  But what do you do?  I did the first thing I could think of - gently remind him what our lesson was that day and ask him to calm down.  That seemed to work pretty well.  As we got further into the week I realized that I sometimes got angry too quickly with him as well, which never helped the situation.  In fact, it usually made it worse.  I  needed to remind myself not to let anger get hold of me.  After all, the Bible says "a gentle answer turns away wrath." (Prov. 15:1) And that is so true.  Isn't it funny how we often learn our own lessons when we're in the midst of training our children?

Asking him, or any of the children, to calm down when he got angry was a start, and controlling my own anger helped a lot too.  But what about the heart of the issue.  Why was he getting angry in the first place?  I asked myself that question many times.  First, he's five, and the youngest, and often has to raise his voice to be heard above all the other voices.  Also, there are times when, I think, we expect too much from him and then he gets frustrated and really isn't sure how to express that except through anger.  As a result I've tried to be more understanding, listen attentively when he speaks, offer more help, and give a little more grace. 

I was further convicted that this was something we needed to work on when I came across a discussion on a message board about teaching our children how to overcome their anger.  Praying Scripture over your children was suggested, and I realized that I haven't put this to prayer like I should have.  Why oh why do I need reminders to do that?  So this is my next step -  praying Phil 4:5 over my youngest guy, and really for all of us.  "Let your gentleness be evident to all." 

We'll see how this week goes.  I know this is something we need to work on.  God made that pretty clear to me - all the way from a child's devotional to a discussion in an online message board.  I love it when He gets His message across to me in so many different ways.  Now, I just need to keep my eyes open for the rest of the story here.

Well, it's Friday and all four kiddos are sick today.  It started Tuesday with Boyzer and we've added one everyday since then.  So do we do school today?  They are sick - fevers, headaches, coughing, tired.  Right now they're all involved in other things besides school.  I'm really tempted to let them off today and not do anything except reading aloud and maybe Sweets' science fair project board.  Of course they can always read too!  If I do that, then what do I do with the rest of my day?  I know, silly question.  There's always so much do to and it seems we're always short on time to get everything done in a day.  But when I have an 'empty' day come unexpectedly it's like my brain goes into overdrive and I'm not sure where to start.  In order to overcome this, I think the first thing needed is a list.  Funny how writing things down so I can check them off helps me feel like I've accomplished something that day.

So, what needs to be done?  I'll have to think on that for a little bit, and keep my pad of paper close by.  A few I know are: pay bills, finish grading, various areas to clean, etc.  What about you?  How do you handle a day 'off' that wasn't planned?

It's been a very different kind of week for me this past week.  It started out just fine, but then just seemed to go downhill each day.  Mostly, I feel like I didn't accomplish much due to a bad headache I had most of the week.  I felt it coming on during the day on Monday, and by Tuesday it seemed to be a full fledged migraine.  Ugh.  Needless to say, we were pretty relaxed in our schooling this week.  The kids really did fine and were pretty quiet at those times when I needed to rest.  The headache was better by the end of the week, but I woke up on Friday with my ears very plugged up.  Even now, on Sunday, I find everything muffled and my own voice strange to hear.  So, I don't know now if I really had a migraine, or if it was the beginning of a bad cold - though I have no other symptoms.  In any case, I feel like I've been totally lazy this week.

In my quiet time with the Lord I've been trying to figure out what I need to learn from this.  You see, I've felt lately that I sometimes push too hard to get all the school work done, and done well.  Not a bad goal in and of itself, but there are times when I think I just need to relax and let my kids enjoy what they're learning - and not worry about checking off the boxes that tell me I've accomplished what I set out to do. 

For example, my daughter is doing a science fair project this year in which she has to write a research paper.  I've been after her to work on it and get it done.  Procrastination is something I tend to struggle with so I want my kids to overcome that.  As it was, I felt she was behind.  She's doing this through a class in our area and so I had her meet with the teacher of the class to help her get going on her paper a little better.  When I came to pick her up, I find out she's way ahead of many of the other students in regards to her paper.  She's very detailed in all the sections (procedure, observations, outcome, etc.), and really only needs to work on the research section of her paper a little more.

I was very happy for her, but feeling a little convicted myself since I had pushed her so hard.  So when the headache came, I wondered if maybe I need to just slow down a little more and enjoy the process.  After all, our goal in homeschooling wasn't to check off all the boxes and say we'd accomplished this much in our education.  The real goal is to educate my children, instill in them a love of learning, and train them to be godly men and women of character. 

My headache is still there somewhat, and my ears are still plugged up.  So maybe that has nothing to do with what I learned this week.  Or maybe it did.  It gave me time to reflect back on our reasons for homeschooling - kind of a time to refocus and get back on track.  It's a good reminder to be less concerned about checking off the list and more focused on real learning.

There's a song I love to listen to everytime I hear it on the radio.  It's by Sanctus Real, called "Whatever You're Doing."  It's always just a good reminder to me to be patient with myself and let God work in me to mold me into who He wants me to be.  Sometimes it does feel like chaos!  I know it did this week.

It was a week of cranky, crabby, just being 'on the edge' days.  And it was all happening within.  Really, I am very blessed and thankful for everyone and everything around me.  But, you know, God has a way of making each of us face the struggles within layer by layer until we are totally surrendered to Him.  It's hard work, facing those old fears and hurts.  Sometimes they go back a long way, and it's messy job bringing them back to the surface to deal with. 

Continuing to hold them inside, though, stunts our spiritual growth and limits our fruitfulness. God has so much more planned for us - bigger and more heavenly than we can imagine. That's why I love this song.  It's a reminder to me that whatever is going on in my life, it's okay. It's God working in me for His purposes.  If I just surrender to Him, it goes so much better, and I feel peaceful in the chaos of life.

The Holidays are officially over.  I took down the Christmas tree tonight amidst the chatter and laughing of my family while they played Monopoly.  I imagine other people listening in would say "settle down" or "keep it quiet."  But, it's a joy to hear them.  Right now my 5 yo is bargaining with Dad and his older siblings for a piece of property.  He's learning about numbers, counting, and money.  Can I count that as math?  I think so!  But the best part is just seeing all of them interact, enjoying their time together.  Christmas and New Year's might be over, but family time isn't.

Why 'on the edge'?  Well, this is my first blog here and it really doesn't mean a whole lot.  Everything else I tried was already taken, and we do live on the edge of town.  Of course, there are times in our homeschooling journey when it feels like everything is on the edge.  Be honest. . .you know what I mean.

We all have those days - days when nothing seems to go quite right.  I'm starting this new year hopeful that those days will be few and far between.  This will be a record of our days.