Here is my really cool, very awesome, fabulous ship:
I know, the drawing isn't all that great, and it's hard to tell but this ship has some great things! So I just have to describe it. ;) It features a vine with flowers growing around and up its mast, a fairy at the masthead, a flag reading "EMY", and, last but not least, wings, to make it a truly fabulous, water or air ship!
Here are my 5 "dead" words: cool, kind, fun, funny, fine
Will those work? I found this hard to think of after all the ones that were already listed!
Here is the tour of my bedroom:
When you walk into my bedroom, the first thing you'll notice is all the bright pink! You'll blink in surprise at the pink walls and darker pink carpet. Once you get over the first shock, you'll look around and notice that the walls and carpet aren't the only brightly colored objects in the room. The bedspreads on both beds of the white bunkbed are covered in squares and flowers of pink, green, blue, orange, and yellow, with matching dustruffles and window topper. A dresser and nightstand painted white with lime green drawer fronts, whit knob handles, and flower stickers stand in contrast against the pink walls. A little old wooden desk sits in one corner with a matching chair and is cluttered with papers, photo frames, and candles. Beside the desk is a hope chest covered with a horse quilt and horse pillows and stuffed animals. Next to the dresser is a tall chevalle mirror made of dark cherry wood. You'll sweep one last glance around the room, taking in the strands of bead hanging in the tall window, the tiny rocking chair in the corner, and the small corner behind the angled bed where I keep a blue beanbag chair (ripping at the seams and temporarily mended with packing tape), a fuzzy white lamp, and my Bible, to have quiet time in each morning and evening. Well, that's about all there is to see in here. Thank you!
Comments
Feb. 29, 2008 - Whoo-hoo!
Posted by skmarlow
Your bedroom tour is a delight. I might as well have been there. What a snapshot, and very complete! Nice job, Emy!
I did find a couple dreaded "dead" words. LOL Your "little old wooden desk." And your "tiny rocking chair." How little is little? How old is old? How tiny is tiny? Sometimes you can use similes to show the picture you want to convey.
"A rocking chair so tiny a 2-year-old could fit in it..."
or "my wooden desk, as old as my grandmother" (or something like that).
Isn't it amazing how those dead words sneak up on us? And it's OK to use them occasionally as long as we add a few clarifying words to go along with it. "The sun was so hot(dead word) it felt like a blast furnace."
Yes, it's difficult for the students to think of dead words I haven't already listed, but you did well.
And your boat picture is very good. Wait until you see the actual picture I use in the "live" classes I teach. I describe my picture only using dead words and the kids go nuts. They all draw different ships like you did, and when they see the actual one, they all go crazy! It's SO important to write what you mean. And you did an exceptional job with the bedroom tour.
And...you said I guessed the feelings exactly right and that I was "good" at that. No, Emy, YOU are good at that. You are the author who left the clues for the reader to find. If you hadn't made those choices I would not have been able to guess the feelings. LOL
Edited by skmarlow on Feb. 29, 2008 at 10:44 AM
Mar. 1, 2008 - The Insider
Posted by TheInsider
Hey there, Emma!
You have a really well-written blog! Would it be alright if we added you to our friend list and maybe included you in our reports?
God bless!
- Eva Surely, Anne Truly & John Shannon