My boring beginnings answers:
2
1
5
3
9
6
7
4
8
My lifeboat beginnings:
(dialogue) Callie trotted along behind her friend Austen though the warm sand. "I see it!" Austen called to her. "It's over here!" They breathlessly arrived at their destination and stared at the old, wooden lifeboat. "Where do you think it came from?" Callie asked. After a moment, Austen looked at her with an eerie expression on his face. "I think I know," he whispered.
(a question) Where could it have come from? Callie wondered as she stood beside her friend Austen, gaping at an old, wooden lifeboat they had just found washed ashore. What could this mean? Could this be the answer, or at least a clue, to the strange things that had been happening?
Mrs. Marlow, you've already read the rough draft of the beginning of my story, so I'll use the beginning of a different story for this.
My story beginning:
The girl, Jessica, burst into tears and collapsed on her bed. That was the last straw. She just couldn’t take it. Why did everything have to go wrong in her life? She thought back over her day. Her older brother, Nick, had been such a jerk when he drove her to school today. She could still hear their conversation in her mind.
Hmm.... not too sure if that is interesting and "catching" enough, please let me know. :)
Comments
Mar. 11, 2008 - Lesson 9
Posted by skmarlow
You easily got all the numbered "boring beginnings" test correct. Good job. Pretty easy.
Your lifeboat beginnings are very good hooks! I especially was hooked by the "question" beginning (or this could fall under the "thoughts and feelings" category of beginnings, too). The "...clue to the strange things...." made me want to read more and more. Nicely done.
And YES! The beginning to this "story" is definitely interesting and catching. I would classify it as a great "hook." Jessica seems so real to me, and her reactions realistic and gripping. My disappointment? (LOL) I wanted to read the conversation that she could still hear in her mind! You cut me off, girl!
Oh, I saw the date you did this lesson was March 3. I'm so glad you realized that and sent me a comment. In the early days (last fall, when I had about 5 students), I sometimes checked Mr. Linky on my own. But now! No way can I do that and remember who I've checked and who I haven't. So keep signing Mr. Linky AND leave me a comment.
I'm enjoying your lessons.
Hope you're feeling better now.
-s-
Edited by skmarlow on Mar. 11, 2008 at 7:14 PM