"Come on," Mark called to the group still standing on the shore. "Get in, let's go!"
Josh looked hesitantly at his friends. Travis jumped on into the raft and reached out to help Rachel in.
"I don't know about this," Rachel said, wrinkling her forehead. "Are ya'll sure this is safe?"
"Of course it is," Mark said, annoyed. "Hurry up Josh, we haven't got all day."
Josh shared Rachel's doubts, but he didn't want the guys to know that. In spite of the feeling that he shouldn't be doing this, he climbed in the raft and they took off down the river.
After a few minutes of floating leisurely everyone calmed down and began to relax. Josh leaned back and looked around him at the beautiful blue sky, the emerald trees, and the grass so green and so high that it would reach his knees. A startled rabbit disappeared into some nearby bushes. Josh closed his eyes, enjoying the warm sunshine. He reached his hand up to his face to wipe of some drops of water that had splashed up. Noticing that it was becoming a rougher ride, he opened his eyes and sat up. The river was, indeed, speeding up and getting rougher. Josh wasn't the only one who noticed.
"Travis?" Rachel squeaked, obviously nervous. "Mark? Guys, do ya'll know what you're doing?"
"Sure we do," Mark answered confidently. "Don't worry."
As they went on the river continually got quicker, but Mark kept assuring them that everything was fine. Pretty soon Josh was fed up with Mark's over-confidence and was afraid that it was going to get them all in trouble.
"Mark, have you ever been on this river before?" Josh asked.
"What's that? I can't hear you!" Mark yelled.
Josh repeated himself, louder this time in order to be heard over the rushing water.
"Sure I have. What do you think I am, an idiot?"
"Have you ever been this far?" Josh demanded.
"Well...." Mark stalled.
Before they knew it, there was an enormous sound of rushing water. Josh looked ahead and saw the water drop down in front of them. All at once, he heard Rachel scream, Mark slap her, and Travis yell something about the raft filling up with water, then everything went quiet as he was thrown into the water.
Josh fought his way up to the top and gasped for air. Looking around for the others, he saw Travis pop up a little ways off.
"Travis!" Josh screamed. "Are you all right? Where is everyone else?"
Travis, out of breath and still coughing up water, nodded to the former question and shrugged in reply to the latter. Exasperated and panicking, Josh looked frantically around. After what seemed like an eternity, he saw Mark climb onto the shore further away. Anger for getting them into this mess and relief at seeing him collided and Josh swam over to him. Mark reached over and helped Josh to shore.
"Are you okay?" Mark asked.
Before he could answer the question, Josh remembered.
"Where's Rachel?" He screamed.
Mark looked like he would be sick. "I.. I don't.. she..." he stammered.
Josh jumped up and grabbed Mark by the collar. Shaking him, he yelled in his face. "This is all your fault, Mark! I knew we shouldn't have come here! Look what you've gotten us into! We're wet, and stranded, and lucky we're not in worse shape. And Rachel! Rachel is..."
Josh stopped for breath and heard footsteps behind him.
"Hey, guys, look!"
Josh dropped Mark and turned around to see a very wet but otherwise unharmed Rachel standing there, smiling and pointing to the deflating raft.
Comments
Apr. 22, 2008 - Lesson 14
Posted by skmarlow
Hey, great scene. You have all the elements---dialogue, action, description, feelings--all blended nicely into a very readable account of these kids' trip down a river that turns very mean! Good, realistic reactions from the teens, how they react to fear.
Nice job...
Apr. 30, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by croctoria
WHAT?! So what happened? She stuck the raft with a knife or WHAT?! =P You can't just LEAVE it there!!!! lol
Good story!!!
Love you lots,
Toria