Consume me, Lord. Make Yourself my One Passion.
Yesterday, my Mom and two little brothers, and I had the privelege of helping my lovely sister-in-law with the house they're working on (by the way, pray, they're moving in on Saturday, and it's not done yet!). Anyway, Lana made the comment to Caleb that, "All it is, is flavored sugar." So, while I scrubbed the kitchen floor, I wondered, "Well, that's all life is, right? Flavored sugar?"
Oh sure, some of it's flavored bad, but some of it's flavored good. Sometimes it makes you laugh, and sometimes it makes you cry. Sometimes it's one color, other times, it's another. Sometimes you don't really like it, other times you can't stop yourself from loving it.
But, see, life is more than flavored sugar. It has more substance to it than that. Life is more than living and breathing here on Earth. What is life? Life is being with Jesus. Life doesn't just exist here on Earth-it's in Heaven too. And, really, life there is much more...real than life here.
So, if that really is the case, what happens when we live with sin in our lives? What happens when we aren't saved? Well, nothing can separate us from God's love, if we are His children. I believe that with all of my heart. But, can we really live apart from God? When we aren't in fellowship with Him? Serving Him, loving Him, fufilling our ultimate purpose on Earth?
I don't think so. The only way to truly live? Be with Jesus. Be in communion with Him. Never be separated from Him. Then, maybe, you'll find what it means to truly live.
Because life really is more than flavored sugar.
Consume me, Lord. Make Yourself my One Passion.
Lord, I don't understand today. You said it'd be like this...there would be days that wouldn't be easy. I can't see beyond today right now. But, God, you can. You know all things.
Lord, you know my heart. You know me on the days when I disobey you, and wallow in my sin...and enjoy it. Lord, you know me on the days when I ignore Your Spirit inside of me, prompting me to make the right decision. Lord, I don't understand.
Lord, you've seen me on the days when it's all that I can do to keep breathing. It's all I can do to cry, and not let anyone see. You walked beside me on the days when I thought the darkness would never lift, and when I thought that I was alone, You held me up.
Lord, you were there in the nights that I cried myself to sleep over petty issues. Lord, you were there when I stopped crying, and became filled with fear, and doubt. Lord, you were there when the pain overtook me again and again, and it was all I could do to hold onto the bed.
Lord, you were there when I started telling you how I felt. How I didn't even really feel like praying to You. You were there when I felt so alone, because all my friends went different ways. Lord, You were there when I couldn't look anyone in the eyes, because I was scared that I would break down.
Lord, You were there when I woke up from nightmares, with wide eyes and tears running down my face. Lord, You were there when I was scared to move, scared to do something wrong. Lord, You knew the fear I knew I couldn't overcome.
But, Lord, You were there, at church camp, when all I could do was cry and praise You. Lord, you were there when my sin broke my heart, and I repented. Lord, You were there when words were just too much, and all I could do was sit. Lord, You were there, and You got my attention, because my heart is your's.
Lord, I don't understand. I don't understand the pain or the joy. I can't understand the grief, or the smiles. Lord, I can't understand the tears, or the laughter.
All I know, Lord, is this: I'm thankful for Your Grace. Given to me, and heaped up around me. Lord, I know now. Lord, Your grace is enough for me.
But, Lord, I have a question that I never can answer. Why me, Lord?
I can never be worthy of Your grace or Your love. I can never see how I ever did anything to merit such favor. From God. I know I can't ever deserve the gift Jesus gave me when He died on the cross, and rose three days later.
But, Lord? I'm thankful that You did.
Consume me, Lord. Make Yourself my One Passion.
Hey guys,
thanks so much for praying! I love that I can come and ask y'all anything, at any time, and you'll pray. I appreciate it a LOT.
My grandpa went to the hospital, and the doctors don't think that he really had a stroke. They think he has some kind of infection, so, PTL!!!!
Again, thank you guys so much!
Hannah Grace
Consume me, Lord. Make Yourself my One Passion.
For those of you who don't know me very well, my grandpa had a stroke when I was 9 months old. He's gone downhill in the last 6 months, and had to be put into a nursing home. They just called and said he has had another stroke. We don't really know anything yet, but, I'd appreciate your prayers:
1.) My Granny- she needs God's peace and love right now.
2.) My Dad- it's his dad, and so I know it hurts him too.
3.) My two aunts (my Dad's sisters) and their families
4.) That my grandpa wouldn't be in any pain, and that if it is serious, that the doctors would be able to tell quickly.
Consume me, Lord. Make Yourself my One Passion.
I've been busy. No, really. Last week, I left on Friday to fly down to Florida for a basketball camp (which was absolutely exhausting) and I didn't get back until LATE last night.
This morning? Oh, well, I've been up to the usual of late. Fan the Flame. Remodeling part of our house. And, oh yeah, more Fan the Flame. And being tired, sore and still slightly injured from basketball camp.
So, life is closing in on me. School is starting back up soon. Fan the Flame is in.....like 28 DAYS!!!!! FOUR WEEKS!!!! Do you know how soon that is? AAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
Well, I need to go plan some stuff for the video and such....so, if you'll excuse me, Fan the Flame is calling my name. Again.
I celebrated, and I mean celebrated, my 25th anniversary with the most wonderful man in the world last week. It seems so hard to believe that 25 years ago we committed our lives to one another. We have been through a LOT, both good and bad, but a lot of good. We grew up together, at least I grew up after marrying him at 18. He has seen my very worst and maybe a little best (but not a lot). He knows me better than anyone else and loves me the most, I think. There is little I wouldn't do for him. He is my very life.
I was thinking about what love really is. It's hard to define, especially after 25 years. I thought I knew what love was when I was 18 and marrying the cutest guy I'd ever seen. I loved his blue eyes, but even more his passionate love for God that was willing to give anything and pay any cost to follow Jesus. I wanted to go with him wherever God called him, to help him and to give my life alongside his.
At times we have struggled in our focus, or maybe I have. Five children and one miscarriage later things don't seem as black and white as they used to. Close friends have let us down and relatives have passed away. Losing a baby on Christmas changed that holiday forever. Watching a parent lose his mind in recent days has brought incredible sadness and pain.
So what is love? One thing I'm certain about is that it's not ooshy-gooshy romantic nonsense. Actually there is that element but it seems somehow small compared to the depth of feeling I have for my man.
No, real love is about sacrifice. It's about being there when no one else understands. It's about doing the hard stuff when no one sees or understands. It's about suffering together and laughing together and understanding what no one else does. It's about a promise and a faith that transcends this earth. It's about service and obeying God. And it's even more than all of that.
I read some quotes about love that I think begin to express some of what love is about. Thanks to owlhaven.net for these. And to my dear, dear husband, thanks so much for being the example of love to me that you have been. I have been so faithless and lazy in our relationship and you have been true and patient and sacrificing. I love you beyond anything I could ever have imagined 25 years ago. I can't even imagine what our love will be like 25 years from now! But if God wills, I'll be here beside you. Just where I belong.
Do not think that love in order to be genuine has
to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without
getting tired. Be faithful in small things because
it is in them that your strength lies….Mother Teresa.
“True love” isn’t so much a dreamy feeling that you have
as it is an enduring commitment to give sacrificially — even,
or perhaps especially, when you don’t feel like it….William R. Mattox, Jr.
To love someone means to see him as God intended him….. Fyodor Dostoyevsky.
We all love best not those who offend us least,
nor those who have done most for us, but those who make
it most easy for us to forgive them….Samuel Butler.
The strongest evidence of love is sacrifice….Carolyn Fry.
Spread love everywhere you go: first of all
in your own house. Give love to your children,
to your wife or husband, to a next door neighbor…
Let no one ever come to you without leaving better
and happier. Be the living expression of God’s kindness;
kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in
your smile, kindness in your warm greeting….Mother Teresa.
Consume me, Lord. Make Yourself my One Passion.
Sam is so awesome.
So, what have I been up to? Well, rather than tell you, I'm gonna show you.
This is what I've been planning for the last two and a half weeks: www.fbcbranchyouth.webs.com
This is what I directed at my church: www.vbs.answersingenesis.com/2009
This is what I've been reading: http://www.amazon.com/Live-Like-Jesus-Freak-Spend/dp/1577782089/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1247079347&sr=1-1
This is what I've been eating....okay, just kidding.
So, lately, God's been hitting me upside the head...over and over. And over. Hard. If you want to know what, well...I won't go into detail. But, God convicted me of being "busy" for Him. But, do I pray constantly? Do I rejoice in all things? Do I not quench the Spirit? Am I thankful in all circumstances?
I'm not condemning serving God. I think that's an important part of your faith, and walk with God. But, there's more to it than that. You have to live like God is all that matters to you too. Otherwise...it's all worthless. Unless it's all His, who cares? Not me, and not Him.
Live for Him. Serve Him.
My crew is all out and about working at various jobs. Oldest son at home and #3 son are mowing and doing yardwork for an elderly couple down the road. Hubby and daughter and youngest son are going to Granny's to mow and do yardwork and check on Pa in the nursing home. And I am here.....alone.
It's strange being in this house all alone. I feel strange and it is SO quiet. Even though my kiddos are getting older and are sometimes in their rooms with the doors shut reading or listening to Chronicles of Narnia CDs or playing with Legos, just their presence in this house gives it a different feel. I know they are not here and I am somehow strangely sad.
It reminded me of a conversation with my sister in which she was relating to me friends who cannot wait for their children to get back into school. I've heard it many times from others. I can NEVER relate.
For one, my children have never been in school and I have not cultivated that "alone" feeling. I suppose silence and loneliness are things you get used to and maybe like once you get there, but I have never had that as part of my experience.
For two, I LOVE my children and love being with them. They truly complete my life. I feel like a part of me is missing when they are gone. I have gotten used to my oldest being gone and married (a good thing), but I still feel like we are missing someone around here. I guess I always will.
I know there will come a day when I will be more alone than I am right at this stage of my life. And I suppose I will find joy and fulfillment there. But I don't crave it. I like my life of busy children and lots to do. I like talking and having someone answer. I even like breaking up disagreements and cleaning up messes.
There is really someone else here even when I am alone. "Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you. So we say with confidence, 'The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?'" (Hebrews 13:5-6) The beauty in solitary times is that my God is my friend, my helper and my constant companion. He will always be here and that will never, ever change. Ahh, what a relief!
A man's ego is an important thing. I think as women, far too often, we criticize a man's ability to do something. This is tragic and often drives men away, not only from the women in their lives, but also away from attempting anything that might potentially be criticized.
As a result, men often withdraw emotionally from their wives, children and even their God. They feel unimportant and not valuable. They don't try the hard things and don't live the cutting edge lives that God intended.
It is often popular for women to ridicule men, or do things independently from men, taking pride in showing them up. Men are seen as wimpy and incompetent.
How I pray that my life will praise my man. I want to turn from a life where I do my own thing in my own way. I want my marriage to show my love and respect for my husband. I want to build him up and never tear him down.
Do I have a long way to go? Yes! But by God's grace, I can be my husband's biggest fan. I can tell him how strong and capable I think he is. I can raise his public image and talk to others about what a great man he is. In private, I can give him honest admiration.
"A wise woman builds her house, but a foolish one tears hers down with her own hands." Proverbs 14:1
I can't believe I'm thinking about doing this, but I'm probably changing history curriculum. Yikes! My children still in this home school balked loudly when they first heard me discussing it.
But I feel like time is flying by. I want to sew with Hannah and teach the boys how to draw some and appreciate more art and music and learn more Scripture and visit more needy people. I don't want these years to go by without doing what matters most.. AND probably most importantly, I want to reach the hearts of my children in ways I haven't before. I want to hear from God and obey in ways I haven't before. I want more relationship with God and each other and maybe not so much academics.
The only thing that stays the same is change. I feel old. 