October 28, 2007 - My Testimony
I just finished reading Toria's testimony on the undercover blog (I encourage you to go read it; it's great!) It really encouraged me, because I love hearing other peoples' testimonies; not just about when they got saved, but about what God has taught them and brought them through. And it inspired me to write out my own testimony, for my own benefit as much as, or more than, anyone else's.
I was about 6 years old or so when I first heard God. It happened one day during VBS. I don't remember what it was that I heard that hit me, but that was the first time I knew that I needed God, that there was something missing in my life. That evening at home, I couldn't stop thinking about it. I knew what I needed to do, but I was too shy to tell my parents. I was very quiet that night. It almost seemed as if I couldn't talk... I thought if I did I'd start crying or something. Eventually the feeling went away.
When I was about 9 years old, I was in AWANAs at our church, and my Mom was helping me in my AWANA book at home one afternoon. There was a section where you could write down the date you were saved, if you had been saved. I remember my Mom telling me that she would love for me to be able to fill it out, and she told me about how salvation is God's gift to us; He is just waiting for us to take it. She asked me if I wouldn't accept a gift if it was laying in the living room right then, and why wouldn't I accept this gift, this amazing gift of salvation, from a holy God. I didn't get saved then either. I went to AWANAs that night, and kind of put it off. While I KNEW I needed to get saved, I kind of thought, "Oh, this is just something Mom wants me to do..." Then that night as I lay in bed, I knew God was calling me. I could feel it... I could almost hear it! It was so real... I was completely restless. I knew I needed to be saved, if I ever knew anything. I walked out into the living room, where my Mom was on the computer, several times, each time with the intention of telling her I wanted to be saved, but every time, when I went out there, I would chicken out and say something else. Finally I said to myself, this is it. I can't struggle with this anymore. I've got to tell her. I walked out there, looked at my Mom, and said "I want to get saved", then collapsed into her lap and cried and cried. Then we sat on the couch and she prayed with me. I remember telling my Dad I was saved, and my sisters, and then going in front of our church the next Sunday and telling them.
There; I'd said the prayer, told everyone I was saved.... now I'm safe, right? Well, yes... I asked Jesus into my heart that night. He heard me, and saved me. But a couple years later, I started having doubts. It became a reality... I thought, "But, what if I'm NOT really saved???" I didn't want to go to hell. I wanted to be sure. I talked to my parents a few times, prayed again, but I really didn't feel any different. I was living in fear. What if somehow I was never really saved? What if I'd said the prayer wrong, or had left something out, or didn't pay close enough attention? What if Jesus came back, or I died, and found out I wasn't saved? I wanted to know for sure, but each time I prayed, I wondered "Will it work this time?" I didn't have faith. I didn't completely believe, I didn't trust in God that if I "Believe[d] on the Lord Jesus Christ, [I would] be saved."
I went through times of doubting, and times when I was pretty sure. But there was always this nagging fear, this "what if...?" inside. This June at church camp, I was writing out my testimony as part of an assignment in a class, and God showed me so clearly... it's as if he was standing there beside the little concrete wall I was sitting on in the peaceful, cool, early morning with my notebook and pen, and said "Emma, I love you. You are my child. I have saved you. You know that. You just have to BELIEVE in Me, you have to TRUST that when you accepted Me, I saved you forever and ever. No more doubts; you are My child."
I have grown so much since then. Before, though God WAS teaching me things, there was a hindrance... I always had that little doubt, that was a barrier between me and God, it kept me from being able to grow in Him every day. Since then, He has worked in my life in so many ways, through big things and through small. At the beginning of this year, we left the church we'd been going to for 11 years, and started going to a different one. I didn't understand at the time why things had changed and we didn't feel like our old church was the place for us, but I knew it wasn't. And I just knew that this church was. In just a few months, I have changed so much. I have learned to worship Him openly, however He calls me to. He has taught me so much. I know that He is always with me, through the hard times and the good times. I don't usually understand why things happen, like in the song "Beauty from Pain", it says "And though I can't understand why this happened, I know that I will when I look back someday, and see you You've brought beauty from ashes". I don't understand why Meggy moved to CO, but I know that He has a plan and that He works everything out for the good of those who love Him and trust Him, and that He will show me in His own time. He is teaching me to trust Him, to surrender everything to Him, and not to rely on friends or family or the things of this world, but to fully rely on Him.
One of the best parts is that it's an adventure; He shows me things and teaches me each day. It's not boring, it's quite exciting to wake up and think, I wonder what God will teach me today? It's so amazing how He can work through anything.
But the absolute best part is that though this life is but a vapor and will be over before I know it, I will get to spend eternity with my Heavenly Father, worshiping at the feet of Jesus forever.
If you have never trusted God as you Savior, never accepted the punishment that Jesus took for you and the price He payed for you on the cross, if you have never answered that call, please do so now. It is so simple. All you have to do is pray to Him, He will hear you! Admit that you are a sinner, and confess your sins. Accept Jesus' blood as payment for your sin, and ask Him to forgive you (He will! He wants to! He's waiting to!) and to come into your life, and help you turn from your sin and your old ways and live for Him.
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October 28, 2007 - Untitled Comment
sunshine princess said:
Beautifully told, Emma!
I love hearing people's stories, it is SO neat!
And dear, you made me cry (we're even now, I guess ;^P)
Yes, God works everything out for the good of those who love Him, who are called according to His purpose.
May God open our eyes so that we can see all the blessings He wants to pour out on us!
Sounds like you are learning to see them, Emy.
And may He bless you as you walk with Him. I pray "that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened, that you may know the hope to which He has called you, the riches of His glorious inheritance in the saints, and His incomparably great power for those of us who believe."
Don't know the verses, but that is from Ephesians 1; it's one of my favorite prayers in the new testament
October 28, 2007 - Untitled Comment
Meggy T said:
Nice and great! My testimony isn't as glamouros as all that. I don't understand why I moved either, but like you said...
October 29, 2007 - Untitled Comment
Anonymous said:
PLEASE take the videos off of your sidebar!! WAAAAA!! I couldn't read what you wrote!! BOOHOO!!!! *sniff* Oh, well. And SO sorry, Emy and Nan, I TOTALLY forgot that Baptists have to sign a paper that you can't drink wine or dance!!! WHOOPPS!!! Just goes to show you how long it's been since I've been to a Baptist church service! *giggle* Anywho, super sorry...but can I ask you WHY you can't? Jesus drank wine...uh-hu, no arguments though! *giggle* Right, Emy girly? =) I just wanna know why...
Oh, and why I took my "awesome" post off: MP said that there was grammer mistakes and that I spelled words wrong and I should probably change it and take it off until I do. I'm no grammer girl, so it's just "off"....unless YOU are, Emy! Did you see any mistakes? Thanks, girl!
Love yous tons! *giggle*
Toria
October 29, 2007 - Untitled Comment
sunshine princess said:
What? What?? Baptists sign papers promising not to drink wine or dance?
Really? I knew that Hannah always says "Lana you obviously aren't a baptist because you dance" (Yeah, I, like, am always dancing around the kitchen, though not usually in Hannah's presence, because it disturbs her so) but I didn't know you had to sign something...
Why don't baptists drink wine or dance, anyway? I have never heard of a reason why, though I have asked many, many times...
Okay, back off that topic, thanks for the encouragment, Emy (I refer to the lovely comment in which you said you look forward to reading my comments and posts) that is so sweet of you!
Your sister in Christ,
Lana Marie
October 30, 2007 - Untitled Comment
Bluejane said:
Wow! That was a great post!
Thank you for sharing that with us!
Thank the Lord that he is in my heart!
Bluejane
October 30, 2007 - Toria and Lana...
Grace4God said:
Toria and Lana,
Actually, Baptist DON'T have to sign a paper saying they won't drink or dance.
We don't drink because...well, the condensed version is that we don't want to ruin our witness.
We don't dance, because many times the way people dance doesn't glorify God. In ballroom and modern dancing, some of the ways absolutely don't glorify God.
Anyways, I think that's the VERY brief summary...
Ask me if you still have questions.
~Grace
October 30, 2007 - Hi
Liza said:
I love your testimony!
I love that vid! It is so awesome!
Liza
November 3, 2007 - AWESOME GIRLY!
Loo said:
AWESOME! I LOVE IT! That is a REALLY COOL TESTIMONY! ( as you can tell I don't know how to spell testimony, well I might, I dunno. ) I wish I hade a place, blog or something but I am only nine, there wouldn't be much to say. I really don't know right now, I have asked, but I don't know if I really am, if I did get saved, I am listening to him, but I haven't figured it out and I am not sure how to.
Loo
