Bible
Family Man, Family Leader
by Philip Lancaster
Leave a Message
Mar. 4, 2009~ Different Kind of Help Wanted ~ |
 This week we find ourselves in a position to minister to some others who are in challenging circumstances and ensnared by sin.
Not a comfortable position to be in.
Helping someone and counseling them in truth and love sounds good, until a live person shows up in life.
Getting up from the La-Z-Boy of life to walk with someone through the valley doesn't sound like a fun way to spend a Sunday afternoon. Isn't Sunday afternoon supposed to be family time, anyway? A day of rest?
Yet, when it is time to sit down and think about it, the decision is clear. The way I see it, anybody can fall into a hole without anybody's help, but few people climb out on their own. So, we are called to come along side.
Later, I'll be glad I did. |
| 1 Comments Post A Comment! Permanent Link |
Feb. 27, 2009~ School Dances and Life Skills ~ |
 Did you ever go to one of those school dances in Junior High or High School? Another reason to wonder about Public School, but I digress. School dances were awkward. We go, but we don't really want to, we don't really feel comfortable. The cool kids are hanging out having a good time, the extroverts are somehow talking to everyone else, making friends and having a good time, and wall flowers like us wonder about what we could have been thinking by going to this thing. I'd like to hide in the bathroom the rest of the night.
I have news: That feeling never goes away. I had those same awkward feelings just this week, and there are opportunities for grown ups to do the same things as at school dances.
This week I has hand picked (let's send Jeff, he'll do anything!) to represent H & R Block at the Indianapolis Chamber of Commerce's "Business After Hours" Networking Social. It works like a school dance. There is a big room, with a DJ playing music. There is food. The theme is sports, so they have hot dogs, chips, fries, that sort of thing. Bartenders are serving drinks, both hard and soft. I hang around for a minute or two so I can find out if the food and drink are free or if I have to pay. I have $1.00 in my wallet. It's all free. A dollar saved is a dollar earned. I have a hot dog, fries, and diet coke.
The cool people of the business world are gathered in small groups, talking business I suppose. I don't know for sure because I am not part of any group. Other movers and shakers are introducing themselves to others, swapping business cards, and who knows what else because I'm an aloof observer.
Fortunately, wallflower Jeff has an opportunity to do something without looking too out of place. Because the theme is sports, there are some sport type games setup. I choose the basketball game, the kind where you have mini basketballs that you try to shoot into mini basketball hoops. It is electronic so bells and whistles and lights go off each time I make a shot.
An older man who already knows that he can drink as much beer as he likes for free comes over and says something. Despite my difficulty in understanding his slurred speech, I was happy because I was now networking.
It does get better! I find out about a "speed networking" session. There is a round table with up to 10 seats. A facilitator gives each person sitting around the table 1 minute to talk about who we are, about our business, and what we'd like others to know about us. Then another minute to answer questions. I sign up, and get to meet 7 others in a controlled, structured environment. This actually isn't too bad. A print shop owner is looking for clients. A retired Chief Financial Officer is looking to provide accounting services to start up business ventures. An officer of a local credit union is talking about how they have money to lend. Then again, someone is looking for clients to help us balance our physical and spiritual inner something or others. But the point is that I have success! I have a collection of other people's business cards, and I can prove to the H & R Block people that I did something.
After the networking session, I go back to the dance, I mean After Hours event, and lots of people are there talking to each other. I know nobody, except the people I just met, and so I get another hot dog and diet coke. Fortunately, this is a multi purpose facility with swimming pool, exercise rooms, etc., and they are giving tours. I go on the tour so that I don't have to mingle. Nice place. I bet I could afford to be a member if I grew my client base more. I could grow my client base more if I did some networking. Maybe I'll go again next time.
|
| 0 Comments Post A Comment! Permanent Link |
Feb. 23, 2009~ I got one right this weekend! ~ |
 I got one right this weekend: I sat down to play a board game with my daughter on Sunday night.
She'd been asking all weekend. I'd been holding off, hoping to compromise by getting her to agree to some Wii Sports.
My oldest son did agree to some Wii Sports. I beat him in tennis and baseball. I feel badly about that, but probably more badly than he felt (or didn't feel) when he destroyed me in tennis and baseball in earlier times. But I digress.
The point is that I HAD to get a game in with Darling Daughter before the weekend disappeared forever. We played "Life," the old, old version before credit cards and other bizarre stuff ruined it forever. Great game. She showed her true calling when she came to a fork in the road and passed up a chance to collect $240,000 and instead added a daughter. What a girl! I HAD to get this game played because otherwise, a chance to lead in my household would have come and gone. Maybe later she would choose the cash over the family. Maybe later, in real life, she would. But for today, at age 9, she did not.
As a CPA, time with family comes few and far between until April 15 passes. I could have refused a chance to bond with my daughter and the rest of the family, but I did not. But I almost did. That scares me a little bit.
Hopefully you will choose the same. |
| 1 Comments Post A Comment! Permanent Link |
Feb. 20, 2009~ Hi Ho, Hi Ho, off to work I go ~ |
 This is busy season for me as work is concerned. I have a full time job as an accounting and information administrator for our bakery, www.crawfordsbakery.com; then during tax season a tax professional at www.hrblock.com. This week I put in 64 hours, last week 68.
I am not a workaholic. I'd rather stay home and play. And teach homeschool lessons. But we as a family agree to do this because we've committed to being a one wage earner family, and this provides a chance for Darling Bride to be home and do what she's called to do, be "busy at home" (her blog title, too - www.homeschoolblogger.com/jenn4him.)
By the way, what does Darling Bride say about being home and not out in the world striking it rich?
"This career thing is so overrated."
So we have our roles. Sometimes they are easy, sometimes they are hard. Come April 16, I'm back to a regular life. We'll go camping, play in the back yard, and play some more.
Sometimes it takes a little extra to make life work out. And, I'm thankful for two jobs when some dads I know have zero. |
| 0 Comments Post A Comment! Permanent Link |
Feb. 17, 2009~ Helping friends move along. ~ |
 Helped a person close to me get some stuff done this weekend. We're both in our 40s and still trying to figure things out.
Growing up, I figured most grown ups knew what they were doing. Turns out, I was wrong.
I helped a lot of different people this weekend. I helped my mom with a tax question, taught Sunday School, led a family meeting about baptism, had real conversation with Darling Bride, helped a tax client sort through a casualty loss, and maybe something else or two.
The point is not about patting myself on the back, it's about taking a moment to realize that it is nice to make a contribution to society. I'm certainly not perfect. I also have in mind someone that I'd like to do a favor for by punching his lights out.
Is this what they say about random acts of kindness? (excluding the fisticuffs)
If so, then I'm in favor of it.
|
| 1 Comments Post A Comment! Permanent Link |
Feb. 13, 2009~ God as a Personal (Spiritual) Trainer! ~ |
|
Since Memorial Day 2008, I've lost 30 pounds and counting. Here's how I did it:
- Getting up early
-
Hard work
-
Self discipline
-
Exercise
-
Eating healthy
Sorry gang, getting fit and healthy takes hard work and sacrifice. The internet ads tell us "...one simple rule, that's all..."
Maybe not.
Getting fit and healthy takes self-induced pain. Muscle fatigue, being hungry on purpose, eating carrots instead of candy bars, bicycling against the wind and still 5 miles to home.
God gets us spiritually fit the same way. God works our spiritual muscles sometimes to the point of muscle fatigue. Here's what I mean:
At our church, College Park Church in Indianapolis, we've been in a sermon series on the book of Job (pronounced with a long o as in "ear lobe). Synopsis: Job is righteous (not perfect, but someone who loves and worships the one and only true God) and God makes it so that Job loses his health, wealth, and children. Job doesn't understand why because Job isn't a big time sinner. Job's friends conclude that Job must be a terrible sinner because he's in terrible trial from God.
Our way of thinking is like this:
However, there are other dynamics in place:
-
People who know, love, and serve God get trials
-
People who reject God get blessings
Why?
Because even those of us who love and worship God are not yet perfect. We all fall short of God's perfection. By way of analogy, I've made the commitment to eat right and exercise, but I'm not yet at my ideal weight, and I'm hoping that Darling Bride brings home ice cream from her grocery store trip today. So I push myself, lift weights to the point of muscle fatigue, etc.
God gives each of us whom He loves a unique blend of blessings and trials in order to move us along on a track to love Him more and be more like Him.
Once I get beyond just knowing this in my mind and to knowing this in my heart, then I can stop worrying and start living. I can see that everything that happens is really a customized spiritual workout from God so that I am spiritually buff.
-
When business is slow, I can trust God instead of trusing in my bank balance
-
When I'm behind in preparing my Sunday School lesson, I can re-prioritize my time.
-
When I'm exhausted from working two jobs to keep us fed, clothed, and sheltered, I can be thankful that I have two more jobs than some I know today.
-
When I drag myself out of bed an hour early in the morning, I'm glad that I'm healthy enough to do 45 minutes of cardio.
-
When the sun is shining and the temperature goes up, I can give credit to Whom credit is due.
-
When I wake up to another day with my wife and family, I can give thanks to the giver of all good things.
I worry too much. The way to stop is to trust God who gives blessings and trials, and is in total control. Whatever happens today, is happening for a reason.
And, all that's happening is not all trial. Today is also a blessing! Hooray! |
| 1 Comments Post A Comment! Permanent Link |
Feb. 6, 2009~ I am like Alex Rodriguez, superstar baseball player! ~ |
|
Above: Me, 1981
Below: Alex Rodriguez, 2008
Alex Rodriguez is one of baseball's brightest superstars (I am not). He plays for the New York Yankees (I do not). But I found something in common with him.
A new book, THE YANKEE YEARS, just came out by Joe Torre, successful baseball manager (and player before that), writing about his time spent as manager of the Yankees. Also co-written by Sports Illustrated writer Tom Verducci. As excerpted from the Los Angeles Times http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/la-et-book2-2009feb02,0,4811704.story, Torre and Verducci write about Rodriguez:
"Far more interesting is the manager's assessment that Rodriguez could not succeed as a team player because he is unwilling to fail.
"There's a certain free fall you have to go through," Torre says, "when you commit yourself without a guarantee that it's always going to be good. There's a sort of trust, a trust and commitment thing that has to allow yourself to fail. Allow yourself to be embarrassed. Allow yourself to be vulnerable. And sometimes players aren't willing to do that."
That's the key to Jeter, who has always done anything to help the team. As for Rodriguez, Torre notes, "When it comes to a key situation, . . . he can't get himself to concern himself with getting the job done, instead of how it looks."
That's a pretty ****ing statement, but there's nothing personal about it; it's observable, quantifiable, as any Yankee fan knows.
"Rodriguez," the authors write, "was conspicuous by the awesome disparity between his skills and his ability to use them in the clutch. Rodriguez hit .245 in the postseason as a Yankee, or 61 points worse than his career average. From the fifth inning of Game 4 of the 2004 [American League Championship Series] -- the onset of the dynasty's demise -- through 2008, Rodriguez hit .136 in 59 postseason at-bats."
Compare this with what Torre and Verducci cite as "the quintessential championship Yankees at-bat": O'Neill's 10-pitch walk in the bottom of the ninth inning of Game 1 of the 2000 World Series against the Mets. The Yankees were down to their last two outs, but O'Neill refused to give in, working the count, fouling off pitches, driven by a "desperation to win."
It's still the greatest single at-bat I've ever seen, one that, as Torre remembers, "set the tone for the series. . . . It was just a dare: 'You can't get me out.' It was the loudest walk you've ever experienced."
Go back and re-read the 2nd paragraph of the quote. The point is that success comes from taking a risk and being willing to do what needs to be done to win. And if winning isn't possible, then allowing defeat. Taking a chance but failing is leadership, failing because of not taking the chance to begin with is not leadership.
Unfortunately, I see the similarity between Alex Rodriguez and me: This month our family has a winning housing deal that is huge for us, and huge for the departing (relocating) family (also valued friends of ours). But, the risk is huge. What if my job fails because the business doesn't continue? What if I can't keep my financial promises? What will my friends think? What will my family think?
Darling bride tells me that there are no guarantees. That is correct. I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow, no matter which house we live in. I have been given the responsibility to lead my family. This is the time for me to trust and commit, drive myself to win, and allow myself to fail, be embarrassed, and vulnerable if that be God's will.
Less than 4 weeks until the big move!
|
| 0 Comments Post A Comment! Permanent Link |
Feb. 2, 2009~ Snow Imitates Life ~ |
This past week we got 10 inches of snowfall, officially the biggest snow in 13 years.
The snow was an illustration of what happens when life throws itself at you.
Some choose to embrace the snow with enthusiasm and gusto. Many of them were children with a day off school, but not all. Some grown-ups also got a chance to stop and play.
Ohters, like me, are struggling through the trial that comes with winter weather. Maybe I have Seasonal Affective Disorder (depression because of winter weather). Probably, I just dislike snow very much: Lost business, long commutes, power outages, vehicle slide offs, shoveling snow, sky-high heating bills, feeling cold and wet, hard work coping.
Same snow, different reactions.
Life is like that. Many of us are chugging along. A friend just finished his basement. More in my family than not believe that Obama in the White House is a good thing. My kids enjoy their birthdays.
Or, are there problems? Business is very tough. A friend just lost his job with no severance pay. Another friend had his hours cut, another took a pay cut. I believe our new President's policies will do more harm than good. Socialism never works.
So, do I choose to believe one of my new favorite Bible verses, Psalm 16:5-6: "The LORD is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot. The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance."
To understand how this Bible verse would make sense today, my Study Bible notes describe it best: "The psalm...describes the psalmist's satisfaction with the Lord and His provision. The terms PORTION, LOT, LINES, and INHERITANCE evoke the allocatioin of the land into family plots; the song promotes contentment with the arrangements of one's life, seeing them as providentially ordered." (Source: ESV Study Bible notes on Psalm 16).
The point here is that all of life is providentially ordered, both blessings and trials. I believe that God arranges the perfect blend of blessings and trials in order to draw us nearer to Him. Are we accepting the invitation?
|
| 0 Comments Post A Comment! Permanent Link |
Jan. 26, 2009~ Less than 4 years until High School! ~ |
 Less than 4 years until High School, Darling Bride mentioned to me recently.
Our firstborn, a son, will be 11 this March. He is no longer a little boy and I have to adjust my parenting so that he will be empowered through his next stage of life.
What does this mean?
No, I will not panic, I will reboot my parenting model.
In the past, we had a daddy and little boy relationship. Thomas the Tank Engine, Blue's Clues, ABCs and 123s.
Now, we are on the verge of a father and young man relationship. Lionel trains, basketball camp, Lego Bionicles, Indiana Jones, Bible reading, big conversations, leadership, responsibility.
Coming up - cars and driving, algebra, logic, reasoning, decision making with lifelong consequences, ownership of a worldview.
Therefore, I am making these changes:
I will be intentional about not treating him like a little boy. Our conversations are getting closer to "man to man". For example, when he was little, I would tuck him into bed and kiss him on the cheek. Now I have to make sure we pray together, listen to what he has to say, and make sure he knows that there is a man nearby that he can trust.
In teaching and instruction, I will make sure I don't talk down to him. Set age appropriate expectations.
In general, he ought to have more of my attention. His younger brother and sister are like two peas in a pod, but our oldest is the odd man out. I need to connect with him so that he doesn't feel alone and left out.
One way to focus my time would be to reconsider how I volunteer my time. Right now I teach 1st Grade Sunday School. Would it be good for him and his age group to have me with them instead? A question to ponder.
|
| 1 Comments Post A Comment! Permanent Link |
Jan. 22, 2009~ Excellent Life Experiences! (Family Mission Part 5) ~ |
I love roadtrips! Always have. Near, far, in between, doesn't matter!
Cool places we've been to as a family:
Laura Ingalls Wilder Home and Museum, Mansfield, MO  Darling Bride's Grandparents', Northwest Arkansas
Indianapolis Children's Museum  Conner Prairie, our local living history museum  And when we're at home, we do all sorts of things - like gardening! 
Not to mention:
- Indiana Dunes State Park (in October!),
- Spring Mill State Park,
- Indianapolis Zoo,
- Holiday World and Splashin' Safari, Santa Claus, Indiana,
and more!
Who doesn't like to play? Going on adventures as a family across town or across the country is the reward for all the hard stuff we have to do.
I've written 4 previous posts about our family and how we put our Mission and Core Values into writing. Now that I've had a chance to re-read it, it sure can be thought of as a little on the intellectual and philosophical side. Too much egg-head stuff. But important stuff so that we don't end up watching too much bad TV and playing too many video games. And because I'm the husband and dad, it's my job to wrestle with these issues to lead us and get us going in the right direction. Every family needs direction, especially when trying to drive through St. Louis!
But play time is the fun balance of life! And it is OK. Anybody who is trying to chart a course for their lives ought to put fun into the mix!
That's why one of our family's core values is that "We love God's creation by Excellent Life Experiences." We have fun and give God the Glory - "The heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky above proclaims His handiwork" - Psalm 19:1
Take time for fun! Eat ice cream! Go camping! Go on a day trip! Play in the back yard! Call up some friends you've been meaning to talk to and schedule a play date!
We've already booked two camping reservations - One for Holiday World in June and another for Indiana Dunes in July. We'll book more. We will get by in a tent. I hope to afford a pop-up camper/trailer someday. We play in our backyard. We play Wii. We have fun. And it is right and good.
Do some serious planning. Then relax. Chill out. Have fun! Play!
Together, we discover, nurture, and fulfill God's will and plan for us.
We love God by authentic worship.
We love others by intentional relationships.
We love wisdom by worthwhile learning.
And, we love God's creation by Excellent Life Experiences!
|
| 0 Comments Post A Comment! Permanent Link |
|
Just call me Jeff
(Jeffrey if I'm in trouble)
Hopefully writing about my (mis)adventures will encourage you along your journey! I'm a 43 year old, Husband, Homeschooling Father of 3, Businessman, Christian, etc., trying to apply 1 Thessaolians 5:11, "Therefore encourage one another and build each other up..." (and maybe a few laughs along the way...)
~ In My Blog ~
Home
View my profile
Archives
Email Me
My Blog's RSS
~ My Blog Calendar ~
Proud to be recognized as Blogger of the Week, March 22-29, 2007
~ Friends ~
jenn4him luke211 529beanie
Page
2 of 11
Last Page | Next Page
|
