Bayberry Cottage
• Nov. 9, 2009 - Tuesday Morning ~ 30-degrees, overcast
I've been disappointed. We had such a lovely stretch of warm weather from Saturday to yesterday. My one and only goal was to get the posts sunk for my manure bin while the weather was still amenable, so Cecily and I could hurriedly finish it. To be honest, that's not a terribly ambitious project.
Last week J. forbade me from driving the manure back to dump on the trails once the snow hits, so naturally I'm in a rush to get that bin done. He wants me to just pile it up in a corner of the paddock, but he has no idea what a mess that will create, how hard it will be to get the paddock into usable, riding condition in the spring, how long it will take, nor how unlikely we'll have an arena to use until well later than we should (why have an arena if it's not ridable). Besides all that, the idea is thoroughly repulsive to me - to have a huge pile of animals waste accumulating right near their living quarters, reinfesting them with worms, right where everyone can see it. I guess if I wanted to be trailer trash that would be a good start. Anyway, the idea *really* just totally disgusts me, so I've been antsy to re-build the manure bins (which were already mostly full anyway) larger so we'd have enough space to dump the muck all winter, and into spring when the trails were too flooded to dump.
I threw my back out, so I was late getting a start partially for that reason, but moreso because of the mistaken notion I had that J was going to help me get started. What really disappoints me is that J had *offered* for him or JJ to dig the post holes for me. I guess I got that wrong idea that he was offering to work on it with me a little, so I didn't get right on it when I should have. When he exploded on my yesterday afternoon and angrily spat that "just wanting to get it done" is what makes life and projects so unbearable, I realized I'd been fooling myself. It's like if I'd offered to cut his hair, and every day he asked when I could get to it, then on the third day I just venomously spat at him that there was no rush to cut his hair and if he couldn't wait to have his hair cut until I was in the mood for it, then he should go cut his own hair.
I can only suppose he was frustrated with something at the time, b/c he *had* offered - I had not asked him to dig any posts, but was planning on having JJ work with me on it. I had no intentions of having any help from him, though of course I hoped he'd eventually help a little as a gesture of love. After all, I eagerly offered to help in any way I could Saturday and Sunday on *his* project.
J's been eager to unload the lean-to this weekend, on the supposition that C. would start rebuilding it anyday. That's a majorly laughable joke, as C. takes about 3-4 times as long to do any work as we expect, and he's not finished with the woodshed, nor the barn, and he is prone to disappearing for days at a time. He truly has at least three weeks before that lean-to needs to be empty. But I humored him, anyway, and did my best to help with everything on *his* agenda. Well phooey on him. He can continue to be unkind. I'll be glad when he isn't using busy season as an excuse for his being hurtful any more.
I wouldn't ask for a lick of help on that bin now if there was any way in the world not to. I don't want his help. I just want him to leave me alone.
So yesterday afternoon I went down there and began digging the post holes. I got two done (laborious and time-consuming) and began the third, and quickly realized that the thickness of a root (literally the entire circumference of the hole I was digging) meant I had to move the entire bin ... wasting the two holes I'd already put poles in. Lord, please give me a good attitude about it, and give me *your* strength and energy to get it done and done quickly.
I think I'm upset mostly because I just need to be at the *done* point with all our building projects, and wasn't expecting to have to do *this* project this autumn. I thought I was just about done, really. And if I don't get it done, I'm going to have a trashy, mountainous, disgusting growing pile of horse poo in my *arena*! Ugh.
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In This Month's Bookpile:
• King James Bible
• One Man's Wilderness - Sam Keith and Richard Proenneke.
• Root Cellaring - Mike and Nancy Bubel
• The Big Book of Preserving the Harvest - Carol W. Costenbader
• Four Season Harvest - Elliot Coleman
• Orchard Almanac - Smillie and Page
• Organic Orcharding - Gene Logsdon
• Life Was Simpler Then - Loula Grace Erdman
• The Self-Sufficient Suburban Garden - Jeff Ball
• Cold Climate Gardening - Lewis Hill
• The Ruth Stout No-Work Garden Book - Stout and Clemence
• Seed Catalogs!
• Downunder Horsemanship - Clinton Anderson
• Stalking the Asparagus - Euell Gibbons
• Little House on the Prairie - Laura Ingalls Wilder
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