May. 16, 2008 - Protecting Little Knees
How many of you are older siblings? I think that my subject may interest you.
We have an amazing responsibility as older siblings. It is a responsibility that sometimes we desperately wish that we didn't have, but one that we are stuck with nonetheless. You see, we are, in part, responsible for the way our little brothers and sisters behave, and for what they become as they grow older.
I am not saying that we share the resposibility of raising our siblings with our parents. No, ultimately, that is our parent's duty, but we do have a small part to play.
Everything that we do and say affects someone. If we invite the family for a game of croquet in the front yard, then that affects their plans for the day. If we consistantly ignore our chore of taking out the trash, then everyone else has to suffer the effects of an overflowing trash can. Thus the things that we do, also affect our siblings.
One big thing that sometimes can happen is NOT spending time with your siblings. You can never spend too much time with them, but not spending enough time can be disasterous. My sister and I are very close, but my brother and I have a rather strained relationship. One of the biggest reasons for this is that I didn't enjoy spending time with my brother. I didn't like the way he played. I didn't like the way he wanted to play. I didn't like how he talked, and I didn't like what he talked about. Now, because of that, we are not the best friends that we should be.
I didn't spend time with him, and because of that, I didn't really know him inside and out like I know Bluejane.
We are suffering because of my selfish actions, and now it is a very hard habit that I am trying to destroy, not to mention repair the damage that has been done.
So, again, what we do will affect our siblings, not just ourselves. What we do will also be reflected in our younger siblings.
I have a very sharp tounge. I wouldn't be surprised if no man wanted to marry me because of my mean and nagging speech. I have an awful history of making derogatory remarks, and putting my siblings down constantly. I have been very rude. Now, I can weep as I see the exact same thing in my oldest younger brother. All that my brother has seen out of me was rudenes, so he didn't have a good and kind example out of me to follow. Now he is going to have to struggle to bring HIS speech under control, just like me.
The biggest thing that we, as older siblings, have to deal with is the fact that our younger siblings look up to us. They want to do the things that we do, and be like us. Although that can be rather flattering, sometimes it can be a major stumbling block for our siblings.
Let's say that you go to camp, and while you are there, you pick up a couple of phrases that your camp pals used, and that your parents aren't pleased about. Of course, you come home saying those phrases. Eventually, your little sister starts to say them, too, and your parents reprimand her. Now they are having to deal with the problem in both you and your sister.
Here comes the revealing part. I have heard this so many times from my own siblings, that I ought to know.
Little sister now says, "But why can't I say that? Big sister does!"
Whenever I hear that phrase it makes me pause and examine myself. Do I really do that? How awful if I do! How can I stop?
Does this show you that we do have a resposibility to our siblings? We should love them, and if we love them, we should want to protect them, and if we want to protect them from sin and the evils of this world, then we need to look at our own selves. What things are we doing and saying that could cause our precious siblings to stumble?
Have you ever seen a toddler stumble as they are walking along? They trip, fall, scrape up their knees, and run to their comforter. Isn't it painful to watch? How much more painful to realize that it was your foot that they tripped over?!
The term to describe all of this is example. This is my one of my favorite verses. One of my youth pastors e-mailed it to me once. I think that I still have a copy of the e-mail, because it meant a lot to me.
~1 Timothy 4:12~
Let know man despise thy youth; but be thou
an example of the believers, in word, in conversation,
in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.
We have to be good examples to our siblings. We have to protect their little knees from getting scraped up and scarred.
Comments
May. 15, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by EldestOf5
Hey Eyebright!
I just wanted to say thank you for writing this post. As you know I am an older sister and this post has reminded me of my responsibility. Thanx!
Eld*est
May. 16, 2008 - Good post Eyebright
Posted by thespiritoflearning
Once again you have given us something to think about. I often find myself behaving in the same way as my older brother, and my younger siblings act the way I do. I think this post goes hand in hand with your post It is my fault! I could easily blame my bad behavior on whatever example my older brother has given me; or blame my rather poor relationship with my sister on the fact that we have very different personalities. But my behavior is my fault, as is my relationship with my siblings. Over all I think the scripture you ended your post with wraps it all up; we have to be good examples to our siblings and help them with the areas they struggle with. As always when you write a thoughtful think you have given us something to ponder and work on. ~ Elise
P.S. I think I shall have to add you to my friends list, eyebright.
Edited by thespiritoflearning on May. 16, 2008 at 11:27 AM
May. 16, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by Miss Alycia
That was a very good post. God has been speaking to me a lot about that latley. :)
Thanks for your comment,
Alycia
http://missalycia.org/blog
May. 16, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by OldSchoolMarm
Beautifully written! Thanks for such a thought provoking post. I will have my oldest child read it and we will discuss how her behavior towards her younger siblings does affect their behavior. Thanks and Blessings, Julie
May. 17, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by maideninwaiting
Mm!! This is something I've been thinking about a lot lately...just yesterday, one of my younger brothers said, in retort to my scolding, "But you do it ALL the time!!" Ouch! It was a painful awakening to the fact that they ARE watching me...every second of the day!
Thanks for posting this...I really needed to read that! :)
Blessings,
HannahBeth (maideninwaiting)
May. 17, 2008 - :-)
Posted by Jeremiah2913
Hey there! I found your blog off of Jocelyn's. :)
Your post was very... repremanding. My older sister and I are best friends, but my little sister and I, as you put it, have a strained relationship - and for many of the same reasons you listed about your little brother. I've know for some time that I need to do something about it, but it's just SO hard!
Thank you for your post, and have a great Lord's Day tomorrow! In Christ, Erica
May. 19, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by Anonymous
Wow!! It's not often that a person is able to find such good stuff off of a blog. You are exactly right. I have often thought along the very same lines that you are talking along. I have five younger siblings and I often, to my personal shame, find myself doing the exact same things that you are talking about. And just like you said, I find that it is very painful seeing them doing the same things to each other that I myself do to them. Unfortunately, I see that this bad habit of treatment started before me. The things that I do are the same things that my older siblings did to me. It is just continuing its flow.
Thank you very much for voicing this. It is good to know that there are other people out there who are able to think like you do.
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