**I found this great article today online --- and I sometimes hear that comment"  "But Mama, Everyone's Doing It" --- The thing is "most" of our children's friends are other believers - some are homeschooled, some are in PS ---- and the things we don't let our kids do are things like:  (watch certain movies, or televsion shows, listen to secular music, or get any of the xbox, play station, wii games, etc., etc.) --- My dh and I don't believe that these decisions that we have made for our family have been bad.  We stand behind those decisions...I think that we might even be a bit more flexible in our decisions because - as our children get older we may let them see a movie at 13 - that we wouldn't allow at 6.  --- There are also - some things we will just NOT tolerate and are going to stand firm on them.  These are things that our children think "they are missing" right now - but; we believe in the long run - they will eventually thank us for not allowing them to do or partcipate in those things (which we believe are not right for our family). 

But Mom, Everyone's Doing It

Has your child ever come to you and made the statement "Everyone's doing it," to get you to give in to a request? Children use all kinds of tactics to get permission for things parents would rather not say yes to. Keep these three things in mind when you are challenged with that statement.

First, sometimes kids believe that appropriate behavior is determined by the culture. Rather, the rules you set up are based upon the values you hold. Different families have different values so as parents we need to decide what values and convictions we are going to use to determine the rules and expectations for our own families.

Second, not everyone else is doing it. There are many families that set guidelines similar to, or even more strict, than yours. Children have a tendency to find more permissive families to compare themselves to so they can ask for more.

Third, recognize that this statement is a manipulative technique. It makes us feel like we’re depriving our kids of something. Parenting is hard work and too many parents are unwilling to take a stand for what’s right and for values that are wholesome and healthy.

Don't let your children push your buttons with the statement, "Everyone's doing it." Instead, use the opportunity to teach them about your convictions and the values behind the rules you set.