Following The Ancient Paths

Sunday, February 18, 2007

A New Perspective

Posted in Working Out My Salvation With Fear and Trembling

In recent weeks I've been becoming more and more frustrated with a lot of people. Some of these are friends some are people I don't know well enough to consider friends, yet.

It isn't the people specifically that have frustrated me, it is the differing theology and hermeneutics. While wrestling with certain events and situations within our congregation, DH and I have found ourselves increasingly frustrated which makes us easily frustrated all the more by new circumstances that should be more easily tolerated.

This past week while I was looking through a forum that I frequent, I noticed a conversation about how to deal with those within a congregation who might be percieved as heritics. That caught my attention so I thought I'd read what these wise men (most of them are men and I consider most all of them there very wise) had to say on the subject. One man spoke of how it is okay within a body of believers to address the behavior of another believer but their theology is off limits. Their theology is between them and HaShem but their behavior while within the congregation is subject to correction by others (I prefer the leaders) in the congregation. Another man followed that up with a comparison between the handed down and inherited theology (or in some cases, the theology they are new to) and an ancient boundary stone. His point was that it is not for us, as fellow believers, to move their ancient boundary stones (theology). These were very wise and needed comments for me last week!

What I have gleaned from these wise men in their conversation was that while there are some within our congregation and in our lives who do not agree with our hermeneutics, that is okay. We need to be loving and patient with others who do not share the same views as we do. Where the correction needs to come is when their behavior is inappropriate. For example, if a believer stands up within the congregation and shares their understanding of a particular passage or subject, that is perfectly okay even if it does not line up with the majority of the hearers. To express your belief and understanding should never be disallowed within a body of believers. How else are we to learn and grow? We need opposing views in order to assess our own position. But when a believer begins to condemn another because they do not share the same interpretation of a passage or a subject, that is behavior that needs to be addressed. Or when a believer is having 'covert' conversations with others about the understanding of another believer, that needs to be addressed. These things need not be done in secret.

I don't know if there are any others out there who deal with these kinds of subjects in their lives but this has been a constant source of headache and frustration in our home for months now. And of course, as each week goes by more straw is heaped upon the back of the camel and last week (2 Shabbats ago) was the last straw. I lost my patience and needed some serious "cooling off" time. The constant prayer that day was, "Father, am I upset because they don't believe like I do and I am proud enough to think that I am right and they are wrong? All of these issues are really bothering me and there doesn't seem to be very many here who see things like we do. What am I to do? Do I say something? Do I let it go? I need help not to be so irritated with these people because I know that one who conceals an offence promotes love and that love forgives a multitude of sins. You are Love and I want to wear Your Name properly, so please help me."

So finding this gem of an understanding within this message was a true blessing this past week. I thought I'd share it, just because. It might be helpful to someone else.

Blessings!

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Sunday, February 11, 2007

An Attitude of Dishonor and Disrespect

Posted in Working Out My Salvation With Fear and Trembling

An attitude of dishonor and disrespect. This is a serious pet peeve of mine!

I have something stuck in my craw and feel a need to share it with you all. I hope you don’t mind. But if you do, you don’t have to continue reading. LOL

Years ago we used to be complimented often with things like “Oh, your children are so polite!” and “Thank you for having respectful children. I had lost hope years ago that children anywhere were being taught respect and manners.” Usually these comments were preceded by our boys holding a door for someone while we were going into church or a store or the children stepping aside to allow an adult to pass by, or something seemingly small and inconsequential. I vividly remember a gentleman almost in tears when we were at a buffet style restaurant when he saw our family pray together before we ate. I was shocked and disappointed that our simple table manners, respect for G-d, and general mannerism would be so impressive. I am sure that many of you who read my blog have had similar experiences. Over the years we’ve continued to receive comments and I have thanked them for their nice comments while inside being seriously disappointed in our society.

Why aren’t children being taught simple respect and honor? Was my generation not taught? I was. Was my parent’s generation not taught? I find that hard to believe. A shocking statement made my a relative (married into the family) at one point was something along these lines “We weren’t taught that just because someone was older than us that we should treat them differently. We were taught to treat everyone the same.” What? This comes from a “pastors” family. Have they not read the Bible?

Let me give some examples. When a child is in school they are expected to call the teacher Mr., Mrs., Miss, or Ms. When you encounter a police officer you call him or her “Officer --”, a judge is “You honor”, a physician is “Dr”. Why do we do this? It is out of respect and acknowledgment of their position. They are not our peers in those situations, they hold authority. And what are we to do with authority? We are to respect authority, like it or not. Is that not a Biblical concept too?

Our children have all been taught that adults are to be referred to as Mr. and Mrs. Often times the recipient of these titles is uncomfortable with their title. “That’s my mother-in-law’s name! Please don’t call me that.” But our children are to respect their elders and understand that they are not their peers, that adults have a degree of authority over them. DH or I will explain that it is a title of respect and that they are not peers of my children so they are to be referred to in a respectful manner. Generally the other adult concedes but sometimes they flat out tell us no, to which I flat out tell them, “They are my children and will obey what we teach them. You may teach your children whatever you like. Ours will respect and honor you.” Yes, it bothers me to have children refer to me by my first name. But I can’t fault the kids for that, they’ve not been taught what my kids have been. In all honesty there are only a few families that we know and associate with that have a similar standard as we do.

Recently a few of our kids have requested that certain people not come to our house for dinner again until they, and I quote one of our daughters, “learn some manners and how to use them”. This is a friend of our daughter. Another incident is where a wife is constantly making rude comments about her husband in public settings and in front of him. One son turned to a daughter and told her, “If that was my wife, I’d divorce her!” He was so insulted and offended by this wifes lack of respect for her husband that he couldn’t think of any other way to describe how insulted he felt for this man. We will continue to have friends over and have talked about how not everyone has the same standards we do - and that is their own family decision. We need to be tolerant of others when they are different from us. Sometimes it’s hard though. It’s hard to be the “different” ones. But I can’t think of very many areas in our lives where we aren’t different than most. Even still, we are not perfect and our family standard isn't as high as some others. We can fall into disrespectful habits and dishonor one another at times. We are faulty and surely are not perfect. But how is it that our family standard is still seeming to be so much higher than others?

What does this matter? Really, impolite and rude children (and adults) are everywhere. They have no general manners, no respect for adults or authority, and no concept of how disrespectful they are. So what?

Know where I start to loose my patience? When people do not understand the concept or respect or honor treat my G-d in such a way that I consider disrespectful. I wrote the other day about the Name of G-d and touched lightly on what it means to me, after spending a few weeks studying it out and trying to draw my own line in the sand as to what I believe and where I stand. When I am in a group of people who treat my G-d as if He is a genie in a bottle or some common man, I get offended. When they treat Him as if He is some common thing or speak of Him with no reverence, I get irritated. Never mind wearing His Name (reputation) in such a way as to deplete His glory and honor. That is when I start to loose my patience.

When one is approaching an earthly king or president, is there not protocol to follow? Is there not respect to be shown to that individual - even if you don’t particularly like some of the things they do? What would happen if you approached an earthly king and flippantly approached him and said, “Hey George”? You could expect that guards would be all over you if the king himself didn’t have you taken away immediately. How would you enter his presence then? You would be reverent. You would be prepared for the meeting. You would acknowledge his greatness and refer to him by his proper title. And after his taking time to speak with you, you would be grateful and thank him. Is it too much to ask that we treat the King of Kings in such a way?

Yes, I have to admit that the past few months I have swallowed my insult on a regular basis around certain people because, as Proverbs says, “He who conceals an offense promotes love” and “A friend loves at all times”. I have overlooked these sometimes seemingly small offenses for the sake of friendship, but my fuse is much shorter recently. And since I’ve spent time searching and understanding His Name and reputation more, I find myself seemingly more intolerant of those who have little respect and honor for the G-d of Heaven, the Creator of the Universe. I am struggling with people whose children have no concept of manners or respect for others and translate those behaviors to their treatment of G-d Most High. I am deeply insulted that others would treat MY G-d so irreverantly.

So I write this for two reasons - one is that I need to get over myself a little and by thinking through the process I am better able to do that. I don’t just think though, I have to process and work my fingers (sometimes it’s my mouth). The second reason is that I am sure I am not alone in this. Does anyone else see a need for respect in society and how the severe lack of respect and honor translate to how some people understand and treat G-d? Does it insult anyone else?

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Friday, February 9, 2007

G-d and His Reputation

Posted in Working Out My Salvation With Fear and Trembling

After spending some time in deep thought over the Name of G-d and all it entails, I thought I'd write a quick message about what I've been understanding. Remember, this is how I process things in my own head and my own life. I'm not writing to 'convict' anyone or tell anyone what to do. I'm writing to put things together for my own self and in my own life. (how'd ya like that disclaimer? LOL)

G-d's Name - what is His Name anyway? Some say it's Yod-Hey-Vav-Hey, others say there are about 70 different names by which He is known or called. (note - 70 ring a bell? 70 nations? 70 offerings?) But what does it mean to call on His Name? How do we do that if there's so many and we don't speak Hebrew? How do we do that if the pronounciation of The Name is lost? Oh what is a person to do!

First we need to look at "Name" in the Hebrew mindset and understanding. We have an understanding of a name and we tend to jump to that understanding when we read passages that talk about His Name. For example, my name is Lisa. When someone calls on my name, they say "Lisa". Or my kids will call me "Mom". That's what we think of when we read some particular Scripture verses. But is that what the Hebrew mind is thinking when the Scriptures are being written and read "in the old days"? I don't think so.

There is another understanding of "name" that we have but it's not what we tend to think of at first. When one says, "I'm going to make a name for myself" they are meaning a reputation, they want to be known by their reputation. This is more like the Hebrew understanding of what "name" means. In Hebrew the name of a person says a lot about that person. Their name can tend to speak of their character, their nature, their occupation, or even the circumstances of their birth or where their parents where at the time of their birth.

So what does G-d say His Name is? In Exodus 3:14-15 He says this: God said to Moshe, "Ehyeh Asher Ehyeh [I am/will be what I am/will be]," and added, "Here is what to say to the people of Isra'el: 'Ehyeh [I am or I will be] has sent me to you.'" G-d said further to Moshe, "Say this to the people of Isra'el: 'Yud-Heh-Vav-Heh, the G-d of your fathers, the G-d of Avraham, the G-d of Yitz'chak and the G-d of Ya'akov, has sent me to you.' This is my name forever; this is how I am to be remembered generation after generation. So He tells us two somewhat proper names and a LOT about His character. He tells us that He is consant, has always been and always will be, He does not change. Then He tells us that He is the G-d of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. He says that He is to be remembered in this way forever. How was He known to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob? He was known as the G-d Who keeps the covenant. Up till this time the relationship between Abraham, Isaac and Jacob (Israel) has everything to do with covenant. Yes there were times when He was a personal kind of G-d but His steadfastness and greatness was revealed in His covenant. His reputation was that of a covenant keeping G-d who is holy and righteous.

But we see in Exodus that He is going to be known by something new now, something not previously understood or known by Israel. We see in Exodus 34:6-7 that He reveals Himself to Moshe this way: ADONAI passed before him and proclaimed: "YUD-HEH-VAV-HEH!! Yud-Heh-Vav-Heh (ADONAI) is G-d, merciful and compassionate, slow to anger, rich in grace and truth; showing grace to the thousandth generation, forgiving offenses, crimes and sins; yet not exonerating the guilty, but causing the negative effects of the parent' offenses to be experienced by their children and grandchildren, and even by the third and fourth generations." So we see the Yud-Heh-Vav-Heh again which is intended to remind us of the Ehyeh Asher Ehyeh [I am/will be what I am/will be] that preceeded this name in the previous Exodus passage. But rather than write about how He is known by name (for example, He says His name is Jealous, Holy, etc) I would like to think more about how He is known, by reputation.

At first He is known as the Creator of the Universe. Later He's also known as the Covenant Keeping G-d. Then He is known as the G-d of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. This is one and the same G-d. It is known at this time that He is all powerful, holy, righteous, soverign, and mighty. We already know by this time that He is the G-d who sees all and knows all and hears all. But in Exodus He reveals Himself as the G-d Who brings Israel out from bondage, the G-d who hears and sees and then acts on behalf of His children. From the time of the exodus till now He is known as the G-d who brought the children of Israel out of Egypt by His mighty hand and outstreched arm. His Name is recorded in this way in many, many places in Scripture. This is His reputation, this is how He is to be known and remembered. This is Who He is. As a side note, in the past I have written G-d and have used various other forms for His Name. At this point in time I will be returning to G-d and the titles ADONAI and LORD out of respect and honor. I will use G-d (with the dash) out of respect and to show that the G-d I am referring to is the G-d of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob - THIS is the G-d I speak of. I will also use HaShem, meaning "The Name" as a title of reverence and honor.

Now, a quick note regarding the whole sacred name thing. I don't agree that knowing some sacred pronouncation of Yod-Heh-Vav-Heh is all that important. The thought that needing to pronounce His Name properly in order to be saved or that His Name will bring power if spoken correctly is akin to witchcraft and is NOT the purpose of His Name. His Name is holy and sacred - set apart. What is the opposite of holy? Common. To use His Name in casual conversation is unacceptable, in my opinion. That then makes His Name common and unholy. My experience with people who are caught up in the sacred name movement is that they have a tendency to be critical, harsh, and unloving. This is not what His Name (reputation) is about. To use the YHVH in private prayer is acceptable, in my opinion (which is always a work in progress, I am learning and growing), but everywhere else it must be regarded as special and sacred. As far as the Name of Yeshua - if Shaul didn't have a problem being known by his Greek name, Paul, then why would the Master? It was most common in the "old days" for Hebrews to have a Hebrew name and a Greek name. Greek was, after all, the primary language in the world at the time. Linguistics shows us how we get from Yeshua to Jesus and there isn't any legitimate argument that can linguistically link Jesus to the name of any pagan god. I simply use Yeshua because in my own life, I have found that the person I knew as Jesus is vastly different than the Person I know as Yeshua. There is a significant difference between the Jesus I grew up with in flannel graph stories and the Yeshua I find in Scripture.

So, here's where I get on with my point. LOL If His Name is more about His reputation than a certain pronouncation or title, then what does that mean for us today? As children of G-d we wear His Name. We walk around wearing His reputation. Exodus 34:14 tells us that ADONAI - whose very name is Jealous - is a jealous G-d. What is He jealous of? He is jealous of His children and His reputation. He tells us in Exodus 20:5-7 (the 10 Commandments, mind you) that He is a jealous G-d who punishes the children for the sins of the fathers, like He said earlier in Exodus, but that He will show grace to the thousandth generation of those who love Him and obey His commands. He then goes on to say that we are not to use His Name lightly because those who do will not go unpunished. He is jealous of our loyalty and His reputation, His Name. When we walk around saying we are His children and act in ways that go against His character and His Name, we wear His Name in vain - dragging Him and His Name through the mud. This is simply not acceptable. We are to live according to His design, we are to become like Him in how we treat others, we are to acknowledge Who He Is and worship Him. We are to strive to be a holy people because He is holy. Of course we cannot be sinless, but we can live striving for righteousness and holiness.

I sometimes have this particular vision: Something happens to me that makes me stop short and take notice. I look in front of me and see that He is not before me. Something has happened and I have rushed ahead and now My Master is behind me. How is it that I am leading? But look! My Master, My Savior, is bound and gagged and lying in the mud! Who would do such a thing!! Then I realize that the other end of rope He is bound with is in my hand. I have, by my choices, confined Him and tried to keep Him quiet and then I took off running. His pace for me wasn't to run but to walk in His footsteps. Yet I have run ahead and gotten off the path and He has suffered for it. He is now dirty, bruised and confined. What can I do?!? I am so ashamed. All I can do is unbind Him, unstop His mouth, wash His feet and tend to His bruises (that I have caused!). All I can do is ask humbly for forgiveness and be still until He begins to walk again. This time I follow. Do you know how often I need to check myself to make sure that I am following and not dragging Him through the mud again? Do you know how easy it is for me, personally, to knock Him back down and drag Him for miles without even thinking? Oh, how wretched I am!

I wear His Name. He is the Creator of the Universe, the All-Powerful King of Heaven, the Covenant Keeping G-d, the Savior of Israel. I have chosen to come under His headship and through my faith in the Messiah, I am grafted into the lineage of Abraham. I am an adopted child of the King. Who am I that He would take notice of me?!? How blessed I am!

Now with that said, here is something else. Because of this, I choose to accept the terms of the covenant He made with Israel at Mt. Sinai. I choose to agree to the conditions of the ketubah (marriage contract). I do not want to be a rebellious bride of the Messiah or child of the King. What are those terms and conditions? They are written in the Torah. They are known as "the law". I choose to adhere to these commandments and teachings out of my love for my King and my Master, my Father. Do I earn anything? Heavens NO! My obedience is not for my benefit but for His glory, because I love Him.! If I benefit from it, then that is an added blessing. But that is not my motivation. My motivation is to wear His Name in such a way as to bring Him glory, praise, honor, and joy.

You see, Yeshua came in the Name of the Father. He came in the Father's authority and to represent His reputation. Why G-d, the Creator King, would allow Himself to come to earth as a lowly human and suffer for the sins of man as the Perfect Sacrifice is beyond comprehension. Why He would choose to send part of His unity, His oneness, to us and make a way of Salvation I simply cannot understand. It is one of the greatest mysteries! The only way I can understand this is love. He is Love. Who am I, that you should be mindful of me? But oh, how blessed I am! Blessed indeed! Yeshua's very name means "G-d is my salvation". When we call on the Name of Yeshua, we are calling to the very G-d of Heaven in the Name that recognizes "G-d is my Salvation".

I long for the day when everything that has breath, when all of creation, praises and blesses the Name of G-d. I wait for the day when every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that Yeshua the Messiah is G-d. Come quickly, LORD...

May you, whoever you are who is reading this

, have a blessed Sabbath and may you wear His Name with dignity and bring Him joy!

Shabbat Shalom!

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Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Phew! Healthy Twins

Posted in Working Out My Salvation With Fear and Trembling

The next ewe lambed successfully this morning - twins. Eliezer and Miriam are thrilled and entirely relieved! Now there's just one more ewe to lamb and she's got a way to go - maybe a month or so. After the last lambing day - 5 days ago - and all the trauma and heartache that went along with that, I thought I'd post a quick note. ONE success!

*update - pictures!* (HSB isn't liking them right now, I guess)

This is Theresa with her new twins.

This is the 5 day old ram lamb meeting one of the new lambs this morning. You can see a Mama looking on - making sure that they play nice.

Blessings~

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Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Prayers and Blessings

Posted in Working Out My Salvation With Fear and Trembling

A bit ago someone asked me what blessings we use to bless the children on Shabbat. And another person recently askes me what prayers we use at meal time. I thought it might be fun to post them and see what others do.

Upon rising in the morning and laying back down in the evening, most of us say the Shema. Here is what we have printed above our doors and what we say as we lug ourselves out of bed most morinings and fall back into it most evenings: (I have to admit that sometimes I fall asleep while meditating on these words so I often don't finish the Shema in full...)

"Hear and obey, O Israel,the LORD (YHVH) is our G-d. The LORD (YHVH) is Unity. And you shall love the LORD (YHVH) your G-d with all your heart, all your soul, and with all of your resources."
“And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart; you are to teach them carefully to your children. You are to talk about them when you sit at home, when you are traveling on the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them on your hand as a sign, put them at the front of a headband around your forehead. Write them on the door-frames of your house and on your gates.”

Or an alternate rendering for some:

Sh'ma Yisrael ADONAI (YHVH) Elohaynu ADONAI (YHVH) Echad.
Hear and obey, Israel, the LORD (YHVH) is our God, the LORD (YHVH) is Unity.

Barukh Shem k'vod malkhuto l'olam va-ed
Blessed be the Name of His glorious kingdom for ever and ever

V-ahavta et ADONAI (YHVH) Elohecha b-chol l'vavcha u-v-chol naf'sh'cha
u-v-chol m'odecha.
And you shall love the LORD (YHVH) your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.

At meal time we pray this before eating together:

Blessing God for our Bread
Baruch atta ADONAI Eloheynu melech ha-olam ha-motzi lechem min ha-aretz.
Blessed are You, LORD, our God, King of the universe, who brings forth bread from the earth.

(side note - did you notice lechem - bread? As in beit lechem - the house of bread. You may recognize this as Bethlehem. Who was brought forth from the house of bread? Who was brought forth from the earth by His resurrection? Who called Himself the Bread?)

Blessing God for our Fruit
Baruch atta ADONAI, Eloheinu melech ha-olam, borei p'ri ha-gafen.
Blessed are You, LORD our God, King of the universe, who brings forth fruit from the vine.

(side note - I read the other day that wine is most often used in Scripture to refer to joy and gladness. We have used this prayer even when we have no fruit or juice at our meal because we take them together to refer to all our food in general.)

Our family prays "HaMazon", the traditional prayer after a meal, after we eat. It is from this passage that the command to thank the Almighty after eating comes.

Blessed are You, LORD our God, King of the Universe, Who nourishes the whole world with His goodness, with favor, loving-kindness and compassion. He gives food to all flesh because His loving-kindness endures forever. And through His great goodness we have never wanted for food, nor shall we ever want for it, for His great Name's sake. For He feeds and sustains all beings, does good to all and prepares food for all His creatures which He has created. Blessed are You, LORD our God, Who gives food to all.

For all this, O LORD our God, we thank You and bless You; blessed be your Name by the mouth of all living things constantly and forever, even as it is written, "When you have eaten and are satisfied, you shall bless God, your God, for the good land which He has given you." Blessed are You, LORD our God, for the land and for the food.

Then there's the Sabbath blessings for the children every Friday evening. DH blesses the children with this:

May the LORD protect and defend you. May He always keep you from harm. May the spirit of G-d rest upon you with a spirit of wisdom and understanding, a spirit of counsel and heroism, a spirit of knowledge and fear of G-d.

My Boys:
May you be like Efrayim and Manassah: Fruitful for Y’shua’s kingdom, and forgetful of the hard things of life. May He make you good husbands and fathers with wives and children who love and respect you. May you teach your children the Word of the LORD that they may teach their children. May you be devoted leaders like Daniel and Joshua, and devoted followers like Peter and Paul.

My Girls:
May you be like Abigail and Esther. May you bring joy to the Father and shining stars for Y’shua’s kingdom. May He make you good wives and mothers with husbands and children who love and bless you. May you be the keepers of your homes and the teachers of the Word of the LORD to your children that they may teach their children. May you be devoted like Sarah and Ruth, Martha and Mary.

May YHVH bless you and keep you. May YHVH make His face to shine upon you and be gracious to you. May YHVH lift up His countenance upon you and give you His shalom.

Amen

DH has been working on a regular blessing for me but it is different each week as he works out the kinks and gets it to where he wants it. I am not privy to a copy of his 'work' just yet. LOL

Now it's time for me to go study Psalm 145 to 150 and begin my morining prayer routine. This has been a pivitol part of our day in recent months. I know that others are being led in the same direction, we we've talked about these things. :) I'd be interested to hear more about what you're all doing with your families.

Blessings
Lisa

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Friday, January 26, 2007

HaShem's Commandos

Posted in Working Out My Salvation With Fear and Trembling

There is a site I really enjoy, called Lazer Beams A while ago Rabbi Lazer posted this entry and it has been on my mind a lot today. So I thought I'd share part of it. The link above will take you to the site in general and the link in the title below will take you to the article in full.

HaShem's Commandos

Dear Rabbi Lazer,

I've been a Baal Tshuva for 3 years now. I didn't make tshuva because of a trauma or anything, but because I became firmly committed to the Torah and its timeless truth. Yet, ever since I made tshuva, my life keeps getting harder: I lost my job (6-figure plus salary that required working on Shabbat), my wife has had a miscarriage, and both my parents and inlaws are against me. We moved to a religious neighborhood, and the neighbors are suspicious and standoffish. Why is my life so difficult? Hashem doesn't give me a rest - one test leads to another. I feel like He's displeased with me and I'm about to crack. Please give me some urgent advice and/or encouragement.
With appreciation, Menachem from USA

Dear Menachem,

Imagine that you get thrown out of bed at 3:30 AM by a drill instructor with the growl of a Doberman. With one eye open, you get loaded up with equipment on your back that weighs almost as much as you do, and then get sent up in a C-130 to an elevation of a couple thousand feet over the cold wintry ocean in early March. The side door of the plane opens, and another sergeant kicks you in the seat of your pants. Before you know it, you're in limbo on your way down to the chilling waters in a parachute. You smack the water and you're sure your heart will stop beating. Here's where the "fun" starts - now you have to cut loose from your chute and swim six miles back to shore...

Grueling? That's the morning routine of a naval commando in training. The commanders make him suffer, for that strengthens him. Sure, his life is excruciating, with test after test, but he's the most respected and well-loved soldier in the armed forces. He's the one that will be called upon to perform all types of missions behind enemy lines, for he's the one that has the best chance of success. The commanders are confidant that he'll make it back to base.

Baalei Tshuva are Hashem's commandos and very favorite sons. Hashem puts them through grueling tests because He knows they are capable of tremendous achievement. Hashem throws them behind enemy lines - in Texas, Colorado, Oregon, Alabama, Australia, Kibbutz Degania or Hong Kong, for he knows that they'll find their way back to Torah. Hashem tests their faith every single day. Hashem puts them through tribulations that would break another person's back. Why? He gives them the strength and potential to cope. You are one of them.

King David says (Psalms 11:5), "Hashem tests the righteous." He gives difficulties, trials and tribulations to those that He loves, for their ultimate benefit. The tough training builds the best commandos. Hold on, Menachem - the more you develop your faith, the more you'll realize that your difficulties are not only for your very best, but they also help atone for all of Israel and thus hasten the full redemption of our people. You have my guarantee that you are one of Hashem's commandos and favorite sons.

The thought that I may be experiencing what Rabbi Lazer speaks of here is encouraging to me. I hate it, but I'm willing to accept what is given if it means it's growing in me good things and strengthening me (though I really don't want to know what might require this kind of strength). There are more things going on than what I've written about concerning yesterday, but that was enough. Honestly, I'm tired of the constant "never catching a break". I've been listening to some old CD's lately - mostly Chris Rice and Rich Mullins. I like in one of the Chris Rice songs how he says in Naive "I believe You hold an exclamation point for every question mark." And One of Those Days was constantly going through my mind yesterday. *sigh*

Shabbat Shalom and may you all be blessed abundantly.

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Friday, January 5, 2007

Do Not Mix

Posted in Working Out My Salvation With Fear and Trembling

I've had a lot of thoughts and changes in my life since I've had time to sit down and write about them. But today I'm sicker than a dog and can't seem to get anything done, and these things keep running round in my head. I'm thinking that if I get them out that maybe I can take a nap. LOL

I've got a few things I wanted to write about and I'm unsure if it'll end up in separate messages (this being my third today already) or if I can successfully put them all together into one message. We'll see. But be patient with me - if it doesn't make sense to you, know that inside my virus infested head it makes perfect sense. If I need to, I'll come back later and fix it. LOL Just let me know.

Do Not Mix

Leviticus 19 is called the "Holiness Chapter" because it tells us how to be holy, how to be set apart from the world, how to be 'other than' everyone else. HaShem is the source of holiness and He is the One Who defines what holiness is. He does some of that in Leviticus 19.

Leviticus 19:19
Observe my regulations. Don't let your livestock mate with those of another kind, don't sow your field with two different kinds of grain, and don't wear a garment of cloth made with two different kinds of thread.

The below Deuteronomy passage is found in the section of Scripture that is translated "When you go out" which is a set of instructions for how we are to live out our lives, being separate and holy for HaShem. What does it look like to live a life of holiness?

Deuteronomy 22:9-11
You are not to sow two kinds of seed between your rows of vines; if you do, both the two harvested crops and the yield from the vines must be forefited. You are not to plow with an ox and a donkey together. You ar enot to wear clothing woven with two kinds of thread, wool and linen together.

Well, let's start with things like not yoking together an ox and a donkey. What does that mean? Well, simply put it means not to put an ox and a donkey together under the same yoke - they are different and cannot work together. You can plow with both kinds of animals, but one is better for the job and together it simply doesn't work. That doesn't sound too hard, does it?

Not mating together two different kinds of livestock seems rather simple too. Who would think to try to mate together a cow and a horse? Certainly not the cow or the horse! But sheep and goats - some say that's been done naturally and in the lab as well. What do you get but a "geep". Not only is it completely useless but they don't live long. But what about a horse and a donkey - a mule. Hmmm....

We're also told not to sow different kinds of seed in one plot. Now I don't know about you, but I have done that myself. I read one year that if you plant your bean plants with your corn that the beans will grow up the corn and you won't need a trellis for your beans. I tried it, it wasn't very good. But I don't think that was the point that HaShem was making. This suggestion was in a book because some people had found that corn and beans were good companion plants and grew well together. For me, it was a bad scenario. Was HaShem using it as an illustration for me to later realize? Could be. But still, He said not to sow different kinds of seed together. That doesn't seem like a hard thing to do. In my garden now I have my plants in their rows by their kind and things grow well, I am pleased. And yes, I do keep my tomatoes near my corn but away from my peppers.

What about not wearing clothing of mixed threads, specifically wool and linen? Yet the Priestly garment was made with mixed wool and linen - some say that we're not to mix ours in order to make these garments more holy and unique. Maybe. But what difference does that make today? Do you think there's something to this not mixing stuff? It seems that HaShem doesn't like us to mix things and He gives us specific things we're not to mix but we're not told specifically why. Could it be that there's something to be learned here and maybe it's to be learned by obeying it first and the understanding comes later? Well, let's follow this idea for a few minutes.

I think the point is more about not mixing things than it is about keeping certain items separate from others. One major point is that we are to keep things pure. We are to distinguish between what is holy and what is common, what is righteous and what is unrighteous and we are not to mix the two. (can you think of a particular passage in 2 Corinthians 6 that talks about unequally yoking things together - light and darkness, righteousness and unrighteousness, believer and unbeliever? I would venture a guess that Shaul had holiness in mind when he wrote to the believers in Corinth.)

HaShem was also specific about not mixing the pagan forms of worship into the worship of Himself. He was very clear in Deuteronomy 18 and 20, among other places where He specifically says that He hates the worship of other gods and does not want it applied to our worship of Him, it is an abomonation.

I don't know about you but for me, this really hit me hard this past month or two. We have done our best as a family not to mix things, espically things that we're told not to mix. We've gone through our clothes and rid ourselves of fabrics that are not 100% materials (100% cotton, 100% polyester, etc) and we've done so for the same reason we don't eat pork. Everything we as believers do is to be a reminder of how we are to live - we are to test everything and see if it is for our good or not, see if it meets His approval or not. Don't mix things. Our clothes are to be a reminder that we don't mix unholy things with holy things. Yet again, another practical object lesson directly from our Father. Thel little things matter, like growing beans and corn together or wearing a cotton-poly blend. But they matter most when we get the bigger picture - these are object lessons for how we are to live out our lives as holy children of the King.

Well, now I feel like I've rambled for hours and I sure hope it makes sense. My brain is foggy and my bed is calling for me. I do have more, things about being under a covering and how holy things are always covered in Scripture and how that related to attonement and head coverings. But my brain is emptying fast so that will have to wait for another day.

Blessings everyone and Shabbat Shalom! May your rest be sweet and your spirit be renewed in Him!

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Friday, January 5, 2007

Why I Was A Rebellious Teenager, it's so simple...

Posted in Working Out My Salvation With Fear and Trembling

I had a realization the other day and I thought I'd share it. Well, it wasn't new the other day but I finally said it out loud to someone the other day so that somehow made it more real. LOL I'm going to say upfront that if anyone reading this is related to me, please know that I don't hold anyone responsible for my actions but my own self! I don't blame anyone for my rebellion but myself, however I do see some areas where I was crying for help and nobody seemed to understand my language. Really, I'm okay with that!! I am who I am because of my past. Please don't go getting offended on me now...

So, my voiced realization to DH the other day was not new to me. I'd been thiking about this on and off for years, trying to understand my own rebellion and trying to figure out how to raise our kids so they don't fall in the same traps and pits I did. The root of my rebellion was that I didn't understand HaShem. That's so simple!!

Let me explain. Growing up in a Christian home, in church, and part time in a christian school I learned about God and about Jesus. I never doubted the truth of HaShem's existence or power. I did, however, get very confused about a lot of things (that I think are quite common) and I got very irritated with a few things as well (again, quite common). I looked at my family and saw serious hypocricy, and I hated it. I saw how a person could say one thing then do another, how a person could be so cold and unloving to their own flesh and blood (never mind their spouse!), I saw how sin crept into the family so easily. I hated it. But I chased the same stupid sins myself.

Without going into the fact that I started drinking in Jr. High or doing drugs or other stupid things, let me just say that I was an idiot. I was angry (fighting, punching holes in walls, etc), I ran away from home, I tried to committ suicide, I caused nothing but turmoil and strife in my parents home. I embarrassed them tremendously and I didn't really care because I was angry. I did a lot of things trying to get attention, but I don't think that anyone knew what to do with me. I even remember taking a butcher knife and hacking my arms up in front of my parents trying to get them to do something - anything! Really, nobody knew what to do with me. Not even me. I have a lot of scars to this day - some visible and most that aren't.

I remember in high school writing a paper that I was so proud of, not because of it's quality or knowledge, but because I knew that it'd be offensive. I wanted to push the envelope as far as I could. What was I really looking for? Answers!!! I wrote about how the God of the Old Testament was so evil and wrong, so full of hate and vengence, so "moody" and difficult to please. In my paper, He was a dictator who ruled the people with fear. I contrasted that with the God of the New Testament and how He was such a push over, so full of love and compassion, turning the other cheek and letting everyone do whatever they wanted as long as they were happy because "Hey, He's all about love, right?" Then I went on to say how anyone who believes in this God is an idiot because none of this can be true at the same time. How can a God of love wipe out the entire earth (save for 8 people) or a whole nation of people (Canaanites) or attack a nation (Egypt) all because they didn't know Him or obey Him well enough? How can a God of justice let people steal or lie or kill and get away with it, disobey and get away with it, do whatever they wanted and get a free pass into heaven just because they believed Jesus was the Son of God? It doesn't make any sense at all!! Boy I was one angry kid! What did I want? I wanted someone to sit down with me and say, "I see you are frustrated about some of these things here. Would you like to discuss them? Get your Bible and let's talk." But what did I get? I got a "Good job" from my dad (?), tears from my mom, and an A+ from my teacher (who was also Christian) with not a single comment on my paper or it's content. Nobody ever said anything and that made me madder. I burned my paper because I was so angry. Did I really understand it all myself at the time? No, I don't think I did understand it fully but I had a prety good idea.

My friends always considered me the "mother" of the bunch. I never let the guys run over the cat running across the road because I'd tell them that if they did I'd make them go to the house where that kid lives and tell him that he ran over his kitty cat just for fun. Yeah, that spoiled the mood a few times. I'd also not let people get into their satanic stuff when I was around, and they were really into it - a lot. Where did that come from? Well, like I said - I grew up in a good home and I knew better. It was inside me, deep. I just didn't know how to feed it so I stuffed it and hoped it'd go away. So I'd let people drink and steal and do whatever, as long as it didn't cross a particular line - whatever that line was. I even was wanting God Himself to smack me up side the head - my favorite place to "party" was in church parking lots. Part of me hoped that someone, maybe even HaShem Himself, would knock on our door and spoil our party with TRUTH.

You see, my foundation of Who G-d is was so full of holes that I couldn't stand. He was my foundation, that I knew and would always tell others. But my understanding of Who He is was so warped and so full of holes that it made me angry. I believed that G-d had said some things and that Jesus came along later and changed everything. I believed that before there were boundaries and rules but that now all bets are off and we're all free as birds to do whatever we want (loosely). I knew right from wrong, but the lines were very blurred and subject to almost anything. This is the root of my childhood rebellion!

Was the root of my rebellion the fact that I saw hypocricy in my parents and grandparents? No. Was my rebellion because I wasn't loved? No, even though I never felt very important to anyone - ever. Was the root of my rebellion anything that had to do with anyone other than me and HaShem? NO! I didn't get it but I knew there was something I wasn't getting.

My rebellion was because I was created in the image of the Creator of the Universe, the King of Heaven. I was created to worship Him and know Him - and I didn't. I didn't know how to worship Him, I didn't know about Him properly and I didn't know how to know Him. I didn't know the rules to life as He set them out. I had the Bible but I couldn't understand why some of it applied and the rest didn't - what was that all about anyway?

So because of this, I drank, did drugs, stole, lied, cheated, hurt others, was angry and selfish.

What do I think would have prevented me from going there or would have brought me out? Someone to care enough about me to ask the hard questions with me - to get down to the nitty gritty concerning Who G-d really is. But what was the beginning of my change? The birth of my daughter. I wanted her to be raised "right" so that meant I had to quit my stuff and get back into church. Oh, and shock of all shocks - actually READ my Bible and study it. Who are the people in my life that have meant the most to me? Those who have sat down with me and asked the hard questions, those who have put my feet to the fire, and those who have loved me enough to stick with me even when I was - well - bad.

This is why it is SO IMPORTANT to me, and it has been since my daughter was born, to "Teach your children" as HaShem instructed us to do in Deuteronomy. I've put a lot of emphasis on this idea since I became a mom and every day it grows deeper and deeper meaning for me.

If I had one message for anyone who is dealing with a rebellious person or wanting to avert rebellion as much as possible in your own children, it would be SHEMA! Hear and obey, O Israel,YHVH is our G-d. YHVH is Unity. And you shall love YHVH your G-d with all your heart, all your soul, and with all of your resources. And these words (the Torah) which I command you today shall be in your heart; you are to teach them carefully to your children. You are to talk about them when you sit at home, when you are traveling on the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them on your hand as a sign, put them at the front of a headband around your forehead. Write them on the door-frames of your house and on your gates.

Blessed are You, YHVH my G-d, Creator of the Universe, Who has called me from among all people and chosen me to be your precous daughter. Praise be to You, my G-d The King, for saving me from my sin and a lifetime and eternity apart from Your Truth. Blessed are You, YHVH my G-d, from everlasting to everlasting! May my life bring you joy and glory, may Your light shine through me that others can see YOU.

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Friday, January 5, 2007

Was going to delete my blog, but...

Posted in Working Out My Salvation With Fear and Trembling

**disclaimer** I'm getting a horrible cold in my head. I can't hardly think straight. Hopefully what I write makes as much sense to you as it does to me...

Wow. I haven't had time to write for a bit but I have to admit that the last time I wrote I didn't expect the responses I got! The next evening I was on my way home from our congregational meeting and had decided to delete my blog. When I got home I saw some very nice and encouraging messages and decided that maybe I'll keep it around for a while.

So to those of you who commented and/or e-mailed, thank you for sharing! It meant a lot to me.

Why delete my blog? Well, it has to do with my original reasons for blogging. When I started my blog I had hoped it would be a place where I could write about our family events and about our walk with the Creator of the Universe. Sounds good, right? My motive was that, hopefully, some family members would read about our family and get to know us better. And even on another level, I suppose I was hoping that these particular family members would read what was written and have their own "Ah-Ha!" moments and see Him more like we do. As if I'm the Ruach Jr. and it's my job to convict hearts.

Suffice it to say, that hasn't happened. These family members haven't viewed my blog - ever.

The conversation we had at our congregational meeting that weekend was concerning "casting pearls". One comment that someone made that got me thinking about my blog and my intentions was that sometimes we (Torah pursuant believers or not) tend to tell others more than they want to know. We tend to think that others are interested in what we have when they're not. Or we tend to think they should be interested when they're not and they don't really care. The comment was made that this is the same as casting pearls - we're sharing something about Him that the listener doesn't care to hear and won't likely hear well enough to really understand so they walk away with a twisted understanding or impression. I know that has happened in my own life. I know that I have talked with my family members about subjects that interest me deeply and they don't care about in the least. That leads to frustration on both parts - they're frustrated with me thinking like this: "Why won't she let it go? Who cares? This is so stupid! Oh - I have to go to the grocery store, what do I need to get when I'm there? My leg itches, I should go see a Dr for that. Did I ever get my car payment sent?..." Then I get frustrated and tend to think like this: "Don't they get it? How can you not see this? How can this not be so life changing and so incredibly interesting to you? You're not listening! You don't care! UGH! How come nobody in my family ever cares about me or what I think or what is important to me?..." I was convicted that my intentions for my blog were casting pearls - taking His Word and explaining it to my hopeful reader(s) and hoping to somehow convict their hearts. I was taking His Word and throwing it at them, hoping they'd catch. They've never even viewed my blog...

So I came home thinking my original purpose for my blog won't be realized and I can easily spend HOURS online writing things. Do I really need another place to write? And is it even helpful to anyone other than me? What's the point anymore? (can you tell I was a little bummed and irritated?) So to come home to see the comments and messages I received was very comforting. I'm so blessed to have found some friends who not only believe like we do but who enjoy sharing their insights too.

I promise I won't write with my hidden agenda anymore, if I've really written with that agenda at all I'm not entirely sure. Most of what I write is simply me trying to work things out in my own head and writing it out seems to work best for me. If other people have comments or input, I'm ALWAYS happy to have them. I've benefitted so much from my blog and from the thoughts of fellow bloggers.

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Friday, December 22, 2006

Reformation, Puritains/Separatists and the Torah

Posted in Working Out My Salvation With Fear and Trembling

I e-mailed my dad, who is a pilot and stuck in Denver right now, that if he's interested in understanding our family a little better he would be welcome to check out my blog. After all, he has all that spare time on his hands, right? He had made a comment to me recently that he is glad we're doing what we are and learning a new language and new traditions and such. Basically it was a backhanded way of saying, "You aren't really serious, this is a phase. You're just trying to be different. There's really no validity to what you're living and believing. But it's good that you're teaching the kids something outside of what is considered normal." Offended I was (which is rare). But that got me back to a series of thoughts that I've been thinking for quite some time now. I thought I'd take a few minutes and write them out and see what other readers think. Who knows, maybe someone related to me might read this and a light will turn on and understanding of our family might become more clear.

What is the Torah Pursuant/Observant Believer like? To what can we compare this mindset and way of life? Take a step back with me and lets revisit the Reformation. What did Martin Luther find, struggle with that eventually force him to draw a line in the sand? He found that the traditional church of his day was not in line with Scripture. He took a stand, a stand that began to change the world. The Reformation was a good and necessary thing, it was only the beginning. We move on to the Puritans and Separatists (Thanksgiving wasn't that long ago) who were continuing with the work that began in the Reformation. These people worked very hard, sacrificed so much, to keep their faith pure and separate from the world and things that were not Scriptural. All of these people were striving to purifying their faith and lives. When our family watched the 3 hour tv special this year, "The Untold Story of the Mayflower", we saw glimpses of ourselves! It was amazing! One of our children turned to me and said, "So we're like the Puritans - sort of."

So what is this thing we're "caught up in"? It is a modern day continuation of the Reformation and the Puritan/Separatist movements. We, as a family, have been studying the roots of our faith and learning about how the Christian church got off track - so off track that the Reformation and Puritan/Separatist movements were necessary. We have been studying and examining our lives trying to bring our family back on track, back onto the Scriptural track. To many we look funny, we act funny, we are "legalists". To others we are backward and silly. But what we have found is that G-d has never changed, what He wanted in the beginning is what He still wants today. We find that when the Messiah came He did not come to abolish the Torah but to fill it fuller and to show us how to live in such a way. We realize that Paul was a Pharisee who never forsook G-d's Torah and never taught others to do so. Being legalists is - well - a compliment of sorts. That means that we do our best to follow G-d's ways, His laws, His Torah. Mercy and grace are not "New Testament" concepts for even before the Messiah came the Torah was full of mercy and grace, just as it is full of righteousness and a holy standard. Just like most of our society follows the laws of the land, we are also trying to adhere to the laws of the G-d of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. We are, after all, grafted into this family line by our faith in the Messiah and there is but one law, one standard, that all believers will be judged by.

Here is where my time runs out and my thoughts continue to run along inside my head. I have tried to brush the surface of my thought but having the kids running around the house starting on their Shabbat preparation chores and I'm sitting here at the computer, I remind myself that I need to get a move on! Tonight is a big night! The Sabbath begins, it is Hanukkah week, AND it is expected that tonight will be a new moon. WOW! Big night! So I need to get a move on and I can't continue with my thought. But what I'd like to ask is that those reading would give me their ideas and thoughts on this. If you consider yourself Messianic or Torah Observant/Pursuant, do you think that we are simply a continuation of these movements in history? If you are a Christian who does not agree with our family's stance on the relevancy of Torah and such, what do you think of us "strange ones"? ;-)

There are many groups who are continuing the Reformation in various ways and I honestly believe that these groups are coming closer and closer to one another. But we need to keep moving in the right direction - there's no use steering a ship that doesn't move! What we're going to have to do soon is abolish the segregation between our "groups" and worship Him in unity and truth. Having the Torah Pursuant believer living and working our our salvation hand in hand with the Reformers and the Baptists and the Non-Denom.s and the Messianics - we all serve the same Master after all, right? Is this possible in our lifetimes? Can it begin with us?

I have my in-laws coming over to "observe" how we keep Hanukkah tonight, more for giggles and for entertainment (as if we're the local freak show) than out of a desire to know us better or understand our motives. This being a big night for celebration and remembering our Creator, I really have to get going. But I am also very interested in hearing what others think - whether or not you agree with me. Constructive criticism is very valuable, so don't be afraid to point out where I've gone wonky. :) I appreciate it when people shine the light on my errors. And if you have thoughts to add - please do so! This in no way fully explains all the thoughts that I have running around inside my head concerning this subject, but it is a start.

Blessings to you all. May your Sabbath rest be sweet, may your Hanukkah celebrations be full, and may this new month bring blessings abundantly to you and your home!

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Wednesday, November 22, 2006

I'm blessed

Posted in Working Out My Salvation With Fear and Trembling

Last night there was a mens group meeting and DH wasn't sure he wanted to go. He spends so much time away from home and I often need him here - if for nothing else than for my own sanity. The men talked last Shabbat about getting together regularly and DH was thrilled with the idea then. But last night was one of the first nights he would be able to stay home in the evening and just be with us. So he called one of the other men to let him know that he was going to stay home, something I really wanted him to do. I wouldn't have begrudged him if he went, but I really wanted him to stay home. The other gentleman asked him if he'd please go and even offered to help him get whatever project done after the meeting if that was what was keeping him home. Needless to say, he went to the meeting. He felt like his friend really wanted him to go and we agreed that it'd be a good thing for him to go, even though we both wanted him to stay home.

Well, this man who wasn't a leader when we got married is an AMAZING leader today. :~) He came home beaming and bubbly (I was exhausted and a little irritated with his sudden noise LOL). These men really respect my husband. :~) They had a great meeting where they talked about praying for their wives. He was so excited. He had had some great conversations with the men and was able to encourage a few of them with stories of his own experiences. He had taken his "Power Of A Praying Husband" with him, on a whim, and left it for any of the men to borrow. As he was recounting the evening we were realizing just how blessed we are together, to have such a close friendship with each other and such a tight bond. Not every family has what we have, and I suppose we never really thought about it. Our first years of marriage were terrible. Most people say their first years were wonderful and a delight - ours were miserable. We never thought of separating but we did talk about settling for "as good as it gets" which was really quite bad. To think that we're here now is amazing.

I'm blessed to have the husband I have. :-) He felt he was able to minister and encourage a few of the men as they lead their wives and love them. Our hearts break for some of the families in our congregation, there are things we've seen over the past few months that cause us great concern - things we've been through ourselves. I'm so blessed that he was able to talk to them about that and share encouragement with them. Our own sufferings are for a purpose - to help others when they are in the same suffering.

In talking we have discovered roughly when and exactly what has brought us together at the level we are. TORAH! Surprise? Before we "discovered the Torah" we were at odds often, irritated with each other, we had multiple outside influences that wreaked havoc in our lives, and life was not really enjoyable. Since we've accepted the Torah the statement "a cord of three strands is not easily broken" makes so much more sense! No more is there fighting, irritations are easily solved quickly and happen almost never now, the outside influences have almost all stopped in their attacks on our marriage, our home is a house of peace - shalom! I am so blessed. I hear long time friends tell me about the drastic change in our family since we've found the Torah - it's not just our assessment, but it's the assessment of others as well. To YHVH be ALL glory and honor!!

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Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Worshiping G*d in His Holidays

Posted in Working Out My Salvation With Fear and Trembling

Psalm 19:14 May the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart be acceptable in Your presence, ADONAI, my Rock and Redeemer.

The issue of worship has been central in this recent season and will be central in the next season coming up. DH and I had a conversation this morning where he was thinking of his day ahead of him and the people he's having running conversations with. The subject of worship has been key in those conversations. He is anticipating this question, "Where does it say that I should worship like that?". He asked me to find some Scripture references for him to take to work with him and that got me thinking that I might post them here as well.

We looked and looked a few years ago for Scripture references that said, "Don't worship Me like this: 1)....2)....3)....etc". We didn't find that. What we did find was a multitude of verses that said, "Do not worship other gods". Well duh! We don't worship other gods, we worship the One True G*d! But the question we had was how - what is acceptable in His sight and what does He want? We had been looking for something that said, "This is bad, this is good." We didn't find it.

What we did find was that HaShem is proactive in instructing us what we SHOULD do as opposed to instructing us by what we should not do. Yes there are some places where He says, "Do not..." but there are more places where He says, "Do...". For example, some of the few verses we could find concerning how we shouldn't worship Him was Exodus 23:24 which says, "You are not to worship their gods, serve them or follow their practices; rather, you are to demolish them completely and smash their standing stones to pieces." and Deuteronomy 12:30 which says, "be careful, after they have been destroyed ahead of you, not to be trapped into following them; so that you inquire after their gods and ask, 'How did these nations serve their gods? I want to do the same.'" We are told, in no uncertain terms, that we are not to inquire of how the strangers worship their gods and that we are not to imitate those ways.

He gave us instructions about how to worship Him rather than instructions how not to worship Him. The list of those verses could take days to complete. Worship occurs 108 times in 102 verses in the Blue Letter Bible and serve occurs 209 times in 193 verses. It is no difficult task to find out how He wants His children to worship Him. Rather than focusing on how we may be worshiping Him with practices that He abhors and expects to be wiped out, we decided to focus on how we ought to be worshiping and do what He said to do. As a natural by-product of obedience the unacceptable will fall away, and it has. Granted, I am certain that we still have more things to cut away from our lives, more of the "old man" that needs to die in regards to our worship. We surely are NOT perfect!! But we're working out our salvation with fear and trembling and in the process the dead flesh is being cut away.

HaShem tells His children to completely demolish all the items and forms of pagan worship (Exodus 23:24) and He expected His children to do just that (Deuteronomy 12:30). After that is done we are to forget those ways and not be snared by them, even though they are neat and pretty and interesting and fun. (Aren't His holy days neat and pretty and interesting and fun? If not, then it isn't HaShem that got it wrong but it is we who have lost something.) Acts 15:19-21 is part of a discussion about a letter written by the High Council of the Apostolic Church and it is regarding the new Gentile believers, what should be required of them. In that letter the very basic and very minimum is listed for what the new Believer should avoid in his life, for our very lives are how we worship. The list contains the basic entry point practices of pagan worship: consuming blood, things polluted by idols, fornication, and what has been strangled (aka not slaughtered kosher and still containing blood). What is following the list of what to avoid is the expectation that every Believer (Jew or Gentile) will be in the synagogues every Shabbat hearing the Torah being preached, and as the Ruach HaKodesh (Holy Spirit) leads every Believer into obedience to HaShem they will naturally follow what has been handed down by HaShem to His children. Jacob (known in Christian circles as James), the brother of our Master, wrote that we should be doers of the Word and not just hearers only. He was very insulting of one who hears the Word and does not do it - it is like being one who looks at himself in the mirror and does not remember what he looks like. The early church, Gentile and Jew alike, were instructed and expected to keep the Torah and included in the Torah are special days set aside by YHVH Himself for His children to meet with Him as well as with eachother. These are significant days, important days. Never was it considered okay to take a pagan day and keep that as a day to worship YHVH. Those days were nothing days, days of non-gods, days for fools and those living in darkness. Those days were replacements and often imitations of His holy days. Why settle for second best? Why give Him second best? Does He even want something other than what He outlined for us to do? Is "second best" acceptable?

The holidays outlined in Leviticus 23 are days that HaShem set aside as special times for His people. Not for the Jews only (there were no Jews in that time, only children of Israel and other peoples who accompanied Israel out of Egypt who submitted themselves to HaShem, the G*d of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.), but the festivals are for all of this mixed multitude. The whole of the mixed multitude was given the Torah and accepted by Him and included in/accepted the ketubah (see previous message here about the ketubah and Shavuot/Pentecost). Anyone who comes under the headship of HaShem and under the lordship of the Messiah is now accepted into the family of HaShem, we're all His children (either natural children or adopted children) and His standards for His children are consistent for all of His children. There is but one law for all of His children, as stated in Numbers 15:15 Exodus 12:49.

Rather than focus on the history and deep (sometimes hidden) meanings of some traditional festivals and holidays, lets spend our time focusing on what He designed for His children and decide to keep them for ourselves. I cannot even begin to describe to you how fulfilling and what a blessing these holy festivals are like and how He blesses those who are obedient. There simply are not sufficient words in my vocabulary. As I once wrote, Just Do It! and Just Do It! part 2. :~) He blesses the obedient, He finds pleasure in the obedient, and in His pleasure we find our strength.

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Tuesday, September 5, 2006

Book Study Forum

Posted in Working Out My Salvation With Fear and Trembling

I've mentioned this before at my blog but I thought I'd mention it again. There is, for those who are interested, a forum available for book studies and Torah based discussions. Many of the books listed are books I have in my Book Review category. The group is small and not terribly active which is nice for those of us who can't commit to an intense forum or an extremely busy one. This one is low-key and relaxed with people popping in and out as they have time.

The forum is intended for those who are investigating the Torah pursuant believers life as well as those who have set foot on that journey and are looking for others to share with. The book discussions take place as someone reads one of the listed books or reads a book they want to share with others. There are sections for women only and men only as well as a category for how we apply the Torah to our every day lives.

So I thought I'd write a little blurb about this new(er) forum and invite anyone who is interested to come and share their ideas and thoughts, to ask questions or share insight. The group is open to anyone who wants to participate, so feel free to join in. The forum is Following The Ancient Paths Forum.

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Wednesday, August 2, 2006

Todah La'el!! Todah Rabah!!

Posted in Working Out My Salvation With Fear and Trembling

Todah La'el means "Thanks be to G-d" and Todah Rabah means "Thank you very much". Haleluyah!! means praise be to G-d!!!

On Monday I had the kids all write about their hobbies and interests for their journal writing. My primary motivation was to see what kinds of things our new kids were interested in and what they considered their hobbies. Coming from the background they do, they didn't quite understand the topic of my request. And not being exposed to very much, they didn't have a lot to draw on. For example, our boy wrote "Bike riding and soccer" (only spelled much different - LOL). That was all he could think of in 30 minutes. Our girl wrote "ballerina dancing" and having babies - she's 8. *rolleyes* She's enthralled with babies. Later that night I said to DH, "Boy, it's too bad that soccer sign-ups were in May and that the soccer season starts next month. The boys would both like to have played soccer. Maybe we'll find something in the spring for them." That was my last thought about it, and the boys hadn't thought about it since they wrote their journals that afternoon.

Tuesday was a wonderful day with our boy, a little tough with our girl. Come to realize that our girl is getting a cold, so I can understand her being a little irritable. She's not strong and healthy yet. So I imagine that this cold will take it's toll on her. But our boy did wonderful yesterday! I was so blessed - and I was sure to tell him that he was having a great day and doing so well. We all got a lot accomplished and there was very little fighting/negotiating/trauma. :~) What a day!

Tuesday night during Bible reading the phone rang. Well, we don't answer the phone at mealtimes or during Bible reading. I rarely answer it during school work times or if I am too busy - that's what voice mail is for. :-) So after Bible reading I checked the message. I never would have guessed, never in my wildest dreams!! "Hello, this is John with the local youth sports organization. We are looking for a few more boys to play soccer this fall and noticed that your son didn't re-register this year. Would he like to play soccer this fall?" *gasp* Of course they want to play!

What happened next blessed my heart more than I can even put into words. I called the boys in and asked them if they knew just how much HaShem loves them. They figured it was some typical theological lesson and said, "Yes - He loves me a lot." LOL I said, "You don't even know how much!" I told them about the phone call and that DH and I had agreed that they could play. Our new boy jumped up and hollared so loud that it made all the rest of us giggle. When I asked them who to thank for giving them soccer - even though nobody sought it out for them or asked and that it was 3 months past the registration deadline - they agreed that they needed to thank HaShem for His goodness and blessing. Hearing those precious words from their lips was incredible - "Thank you G-d! Thank you for blessing me like this!" It really was an exciting time. Then our new boy wanted to call his grandparents and great-aunt & great-uncle. I let him call but he didn't get through to anyone. So knowing that he had to tell someone, he ran outside to DH and yelled, "God blessed ME!" with our boy in tow behind him sharing in his enthusiasm. :~) Our boy's first question was "Can we tell the congregation about this on Shabbat when it's time to tell how God has blessed us this week?" Our response was, "YES!!"

As for the rest of us, we're watching all of this in utter amazement! The older 4 were in the room when I had said to DH on Monday night "Too bad we missed soccer" and they remembered the my comment to him. As I was telling the boys about the phone call, the rest of the kids who were sitting on the floor all playing with the K'nex together were whispering to each other, "Is she serious! Really? Oh my goodness!!" They were so excited too - to see Him work like this was incredible for every one.

W're all so blessed! I just can't find words. :) I said, "Now He just has to send money for the registration and gear." Nobody doubts that He will - He will finish what He has started for sure!

Of course, after this the thought crossed my mind, "Games are on Shabbat! Oh no!" So I went out to talk to DH and he said to me, "Soccer is not regular work. Why take His blessing our boys and make it into something difficult or bad? Would He bless them with soccer like this if He didn't think it was okay for them to play a game together on Shabbat? Rejoice! And we'll make it to our congregational services after their games." What a relief. I'm so blessed by this too because not too long ago he wasn't as strong of a leader as he is today. HaShem is so good!!! I am so blessed!!

We've had people say to us things like, "Are you sure He wants you to take these children?" or "I'm sure you've prayed over this and thought it through." These comments have successfully created some doubt in our minds at one point. But we've always come back to the black and white - Scripture says to care for the poor, needy, orphaned, helpless, etc. There aren't any qualifications listed for when you do and when you don't. He brought them to us in an utterly amazing way. He'll provide for our every need - and even soccer. :) If I tried to list the daily blessings, I'd be writing for hours. But to name a few, a 10+ person tent was given to us after our two old busted up tents finally shredded - the kids were so sad. This tent is amazing! Money has been provided for us in amazing ways, the attorney fees are being paid, furniture has come - even the exact furniture that I had pictured in my mind when I asked, a perfect bike for our boy was provided, a congregation who loves these kids and is so patient with them as we all go through this transition time, a love of the Word and of HaShem is growing deep in these kids, etc. I kid you not, daily there are miracles and blessings!! We have been blessed for our obedience.

So when I say I am so blessed, that seems like such a feeble thing to say because it doesn't even begin to explain what I really am! Incredibly blessed.

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