Mar. 15, 2008 - What To Do...
Well, once again I find myself in this place. When my husband and I left the church we'd attended for 10 years, we were sad for ourselves, but more so for the state of the body. The church we were attending had been thriving with mature and new Christians growing together with great teaching. Then oneday we woke up, and the church's leadership had jumped on the mega- church thing (we have no problem with big churches). The love for others had been coverd by the glitz and glamour of PROSPERITY. People with little to no money were buying expensive cars and houses (that they'd soon loose). All of this was to have the look of "prosperity".
My husband was the worship leader. He totally was against performances. If we were in a conference, extra effort was put forth (that wasn't done on any other Sunday). The extra was so that the other churches that would worship with us during the conferences would see how much our church worked in the "Spirit of Excellence". It wasn't about God at all. One conference, they actually wanted to hire professional singers, so that the cds and dvds that would be sold would be studio/professional quality. Well, after 10 years, after having 5 of our 6 children there and during the church and leadership being in a pyramid scam with someone wanted in 3 states for illegal acts, we packed up and left. Though it was the right thing for us, it was hard. My husband and I had chosen to worship here leaving our extended families at the church we'd grown up in.
We then made a list of churches we'd like to check out. We went to the first one and never made it to any of the rest. By some bizzarre act of God, my husband became worship leader again. Well, he promised that if the church wasn't right, we'd leave. We sat back and watched and were involved in ministry. I must say that I was revived. But during this time, some of the people who had been members for a decade or more began leaving. I actually blogged about my concern about this.
Let me give you some history. The church had been located somewhere else for about 20 years. The church was growing and families were being restored and children, as well as, adults were on FIRE for Jesus. They had had a "Revival" of sorts. Well, when the pastor decided to build somewhere else only 1/3 of members decided to go with him (I don't know why. I have my own thoughts but won't speculate!!). The church changed its name and started over. But one day we saw the original members, that had come, beginning to leave. Our eyebrows went up, because that is the same thing that happened at the old church. So we watched carefully, because we know when lots of people who've been with you a long time leave, they all can't be wrong.
So here we are. When my husband first got the position they told him to never say hallelujah. We thought that was strange. He also was never to wear a suit or tie. Well, that sat strangely with us,too, because we grew up in a church that was the exact opposite. The women could only wear skirts/dresses and the men could only wear suits and ties. So though this was refreshing, we looked at it as being just as controlling as the situation at the other extreme. The reason for the dress code was because he wanted the unsaved that might be at church to feel comfortable. My husband said well let me just see where this is going. One year passed and everything was seemingly great.
Then the problems started. I must say, without bias, that my husband is an excellent singer. We're not talking about early auditions on American Idol  ! I've known him since I was 8. We never dated or even talked to each other. I can say hands down that he is called as a psalmist and is annointed. That being said, the pastor started telling him that when he sings high people can't sing with him (this is the same thing he had been praised for--my husband had said that what they praised him for would be the same thing they'd end up disliking). Well, I guess he was right.
One day at rehearsal, the pastor had enlisted the children's ministry head to come and critque worship on Sundays and give his findings at rehearsal that week (the guy plays sax a little). Well, his comments were so offensive, but my husband took them like a champ with a little laughter as well. He had the audacity to say that my husband should only sing from bass C to middle "C" since he is a tenor (as if God can't give peoplea different vocal ranges).
Well, we found that funny since the 3 Tenors and the 3 Mo' Tenors are all tenors and they all sing at different ranges, and one tenor in the 3 Mo' tenors has a range all the way up to mezzo soprano. Anyway!!!! This went on for months, and I was angry . If you don't want him to sing just say so. I believe they did this to try to get him mad so he'd blow up. Well, that wasn't going to work because he said they were just being used by the enemy, and that was who this fight was with. Very mature I thought.
He and the pastor had come to an impass. My hubby and I believe that church is a time for believers to come together to worship a holy God. We also believe that worship is for God and though we glean greatly from it, it is ultimately about and for God. He even went to the Bible to show him from scripture. Our pastor said, "I know but...what about the non believers that might come". So the last Sunday my husband sang, he was singing the words "We can't do this without you Jesus. We can't do this without you Holy Spirit." I must admit that I hadn't been in that kind of worship service for years.
Well, that Tuesday my husband was fired from the leadership position and asked not to come to rehearsal or sing there again. He said he was relieved because he believes what he believes and he ws glad he didn't have to quit. At first I was mad. Then I wasn't anymore, because we didn't go there because he was going to sing. I did have a problem though...We don't believe the way the pastor was taking the ministry. Now what?
During this time, someone called my husband to apologize because he had been used in the plot to get rid of him but didn't know it until it was done. He was sick and couldn't beleive that could be done in leadership. He asked to be reconciled with my husband. My hubby prayed for him and forgave him and embraced him when he saw him. He explained to him that it is easy for him to forgive because he will need forgiveness one day, too.
Well, we've been to church several times. Now other things have happened during the year like we haven't had communion in a year or baptism. Last Sunday I was so heavy, a weight sat on my shoulders. While at church I was weepy (that is not my personality at all). That night before I went to bed I asked God to show me what was happening. He showed me that the church was turning into a "seeker friendly church". These type of churches focus on the unsaved during church time and do things differently. Worship had a more entertainment focus (like where the church was heading). Now we love the unsaved and desire them to be apart of the kingdom. But we also realize that is what evangelism is for which is well suited for going out into the world and compelling men to come. We also believe there is room in the church for all as long as God is the focus and not man! We believe that it is the annointing of Jesus that destroys the yolk of bondage, and when a non believer comes into the four walls of the church the should see the manifest and tangible presence of God and not a made up and contrived rendition of worldly affairs to dupe them into thinking that the ways of the world are the same as the ways of the believer. That is bait and switch. In essence, it is a lie!! So God lead me to an article that explained why the others had left. You can read it HERE
But where does that leave us. Well, I'm not going back. Don't know where I'll go. My hubby isn't sure what to do. So pray for me. I'm just getting these feelings out the best that I can. I haven't been able to keep up with my blog bible study because my mind and heart have by so heavy. Well, I've forgiven them but now what? Sorry this was so long. Thanks for hearing my heavy heart and listening to me think out loud.
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