Don't let the hair dryer packing bunnies rob you of your Christmas spirit. 

Here is a list of Christmas shopping safety tips from a police department in the Northeastern part of the US.  And then I just had to add some tips for the southern redneck shoppers out there.

• Before You Shop
  Carry small amounts of cash.
  Carry keys, credit cards and cash separate from each other.
• Carry spare change in your pocket, but keep large bills hidden in the sole of your boot.
• Carry your hunting license, pocket knife and *winning* Powerball ticket separate from each other.

• While Shopping
  If you have to carry a purse, carry it close to your body and always have it zipped.
  Park close to where you are going and in a well-lit area.
  Be Alert.
• Make sure the safety chain on your wallet is securely fastened to your belt.
• Park in well-lit area so that your gun rack is visible from all sides.
• Lock and Load!

• After Shopping
  Leave the mall before closing time; it is safer to walk out of the mall with other people.
  When hurried or in a crowded shop, make sure you get all forms of ID and credit cards returned to you before leaving.
  Use an escort or mall security if you have a lot of packages or if you are leaving the mall after closing.
  Check under your car as you approach it; this is a common spot for criminals to hide.
• Walk to the car cross-eyed and with a limp, crooks don't like crazy people.
• Remember that your hunting license don't count as a valid form of ID.
• Who needs mall security when you have Smith & Wesson on your side?
• Check in the bed of your truck to make sure that Ol' Blue is still there.

• At Home
  After opening gifts, break down cardboard boxes of expensive electronics and put them in plastic bags to hide the fact you have valuable items in your home
• After opening gifts, break down boxes of assorted Ronco infomercial gifts, take them to the back yard, douse liberally with diesel fuel siphoned from truck and light. 

Happy Shopping Y'all!

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Posted by a1health

This is SO funny! I live in Georgia and from Kentucky. They don't come more redneck! Thank you for making me laugh tonight.

~Farrah

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Posted by Juliestew

Didn't you forget something about allowing your kids to run wild in the store to get the best deal possible when buying expensive items? OR allowing them to slobber all over the shoes in Stride Rite so the clerk helps you first (oh yea .... happened just last night!)
Merry CHRISTmas
Juls

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Posted by kentuckyjourney

I'm really enjoying your blog! I'd say something witty, but I have a cold and hopelessly drugged out of my mind.

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Posted by JOE

What about having us sit in the cart and grab stuff as we go by. while you are pushing it,and Jon is running in front of it like a wild child cross-eyed and limping yelling my stuff no touchy.


HA HA HA


JOE

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