I wrote the following comment back in August of 2007 to explain to a commenter why I had stopped blogging.

-------------------------------------

I think I'm done blogging, but we'll see.  I'm overdue with our 5th child and in the past 6 months my husband has launched 2 new divisions of his company.  I've no time for blogging. 

But it's more than that too.  Our worldview, which is by no means new, has become a minority position in today's culture.  Though it flourished in history, it is now considered foreign and new to most people.

The questions I received in response to my posts required volumes to answer.  A premillenialist is never going to understand why we should strive for dominion and wealth and the "best" in everything.  To answer the question I would first have to lay out the case for postmillenialism.

So I guess, the reason I fell off the blog world is threefold: 1) the comments were discouraging, 2) the questions were overwhelming and 3) I'm just too busy.

• Comments (0) • Post A Comment! • Permanent Link

• Comments (12) • Post A Comment! • Permanent Link

• Get out of bed and put on yesterday's clothes
• Bring down dirty laundry and dishes
• Get the 10 month old out of bed, give him a bottle on the floor
• Use the dust buster pretty much all over the house
• Make a mocha for my husband
• 2 of our employees arrive
• Make breakfast for my husband and I (spicy egg sandwiches)
• Empty the dishwasher
• Reload the dishwasher
• Put away clean laundry
• Take shower, get dressed, primp, etc.
• Kids get up
• 6 yo old daughter takes a shower
• 7 yo son gets changed
• Change toddler's diaper and get him dressed
• Make them egg sandwiches
• Feed toddler
• Clean kitchen, start dishwasher
• Kids run "house errands" for dad
• Dad leaves with 2 employees

• 7 yo chases 2 year old back and forth across the living room with the 2 year old squealing in delight
• 6 yo daughter holds 10 month old on her lap and loves on him
• Kids pick up toy area
• Work on customer & employee email
• Read my blog comments
• Post a comment to Crystal's blog
• Bring in a new load of clean laundry
• Sort it for the kids to put away
• 2 year old helps me unload dishwasher (he always comes running when he hears me start) It actually gets done twice as fast this way as he can hand them to me almost faster than I can put them away
• Field a couple of employee phonecalls
• Answer a bit of employee and customer email
• 10 mo goes down for nap

• Homeschool (most of the time with an adorable toddler on my lap)
• We covered math, reading, spelling, composition, science, grammar and latin.
• We are on break with history (because I'm waiting for Guerber's History of the Ancient World to arrive) and typing (because the kids got new computers for Christmas, but they aren't fully setup yet)

• Serve lunch (leftover homemade chicken and rice soup)
• One of our supplier reps calls for daily maintenance.  We spend about 15 minutes on the phone placing orders, tracking packages, etc. while kids eat
• Kids put dishes in the dishwasher

• Put 2 year old down for nap
• Oversee 6 year old giving 10 month old "cute-cute" a bath in the bathtub while talking to one of our employees on the phone.
• Love on fresh smelling "cute-cute" for a bit.
• Kids run around upstairs while I type up this schedule
• Employee calls me to ask if I can call a customer
• Call customer while kids take out a dirty load of laundry
• Tell kids I need 2 hours of work time
• Make myself a mocha for my work time
• Spend time in our company order software, entering information, moving orders around, sending customer emails, etc.
• Reconcile bank accounts
• Kids go outside to play in the snow
• Baby crawls around making cute noises and playing with the Staples "That Was Easy" button :-)
• Kids come in (it's freezing today)
• Baby starts crying, kids try to figure out what they can do to keep him happy, they gleefully decide that the box of marbles will make him stop -- AND THEY'RE RIGHT!
• 6 and 7 year old play "sword fighting" with metal bars (extra parts from their new desks)
• Reheat mocha
• Read more blog comments.  Feel sad and overwhelmed at the responses.  Thank God for "ctk"!
• Pick up 10 month old and stand by the fire
• 6 yo begs to take him and push him around in the umbrella stroller.  She says they are "going on an adventure!"
• 7 yo sharpens a construction pencil with his knife (while mom keeps looking over her shoulder at him nervously)
• I don't know why it makes me nervous.  He has never cut himself.  I just hate blood!
• Kids make themselves snacks of carrots, apples and bread
• Adjust homeschool schedule spreadsheet to adjust latin from 4 to 5 days per lesson
• Kids get extra space heater out and plug it in (it's supposed to be -13 tonight, it doesn't normally get that cold here)
• Kids move laundry to the dryer
• Kids play outside in the freezing cold for so long I think they must be frozen statues (they're crazy, I'm cold IN the house!)
• Snack on pecans at my desk
• Hold 10 mo old on my lap for the remainder of my work (he's so cute!)
• Call husband to ask him to pickup a super dog space heater (the temp is dropping fast), he tells me he is going to be home late (he's helping a friend remodel his house)

• Pick up the marbles, put away the umbrella stroller
• Load stray dishes
• Use dust buster all over
• Kids come in and watch The Incredibles (under blankets)

• Donkey Mom decides she wants to drive to the mailbox because she is hopeful to find a) Netflix, b) 6 yo bday present, and c) history book.  Even though she knows the driveway is a sheet of ice and that her studded tires are on their last leg and daddy is 75 miles away, she ventures out anyway.  Half way down the 1/4 mile driveway she starts sliding sideways and gets stuck in a snow burm.  She and 7 yo now have to walk back to the house in the freezing cold in the pitch dark on an uphill sheet of ice and mom wore a skirt and her dress shoes (with no traction whatsoever).  We just got back to the house.  My suburban is completely obstructing the driveway for daddy's return.  Hee-haw!
• 2 yo is up
• 10 mo old is off to bed
• While kids finish up the Incredibles, I wrap 6 yo's presents.  They look very cute.
• Older kids and I have a tea party with 6 yo's new tea set. They have A BLAST -- VERY CUTE!  Wish I had the camera.
• I was going to make Greek pasta for dinner, but since husband  isn't home I throw in some Annie's pizza instead.
• Now we're going to go up and read Little House on the Prairie before bed!
• If I have any energy left after they go to sleep, I'd like to come back down and pack our bags for tomorrow's bday party. Three families are staying the night at a hotel attached to an indoor fun center (bowling, climbing wall, water park, mini-golf, arcade, etc.) for her birthday.  It should be fun.

• Comments (12) • Post A Comment! • Permanent Link

There is a common theme that I have seen running through this whole debate.  The opponents keep presenting a false dilemma.  The thinking goes like this, "I'd rather be cheerful in my PJs with my house a mess when my husband gets home than all dressed up in a clean house with a snappy and grumpy attitude."  Are those really the only two choices?

Why can't we be dressed up in a clean house with a nice meal on the table with a gentle and sweet attitude when our husbands arrive home?  Why isn't that one of the options?  That's the picture of the Proverbs 31 woman.  The "law of kindness was on her tongue" and she "smiled at the future".  But she also "girded her arms with strength" and "her lamp did not go out at night".

Why can't we work hard with cheerfulness?  That's what I aim for every day of my life.

I almost got the feeling from these comments that work made these women grumpy.  Perhaps this is the problem?  Does hard work and self-discipline turn you into a grumpy, snappy person?  It shouldn't!

A friend told me yesterday that when Nancy Wilson was asked how she "does it all," she replied by saying, "I work really hard ALL DAY LONG!"  And knowing her, I'm sure she did it with the utmost dignity and kindness.

It's possible ladies.  It just requires repentance from sinful patterns, prayer, hard work, self-discipline and a Godly attitude.  For those who want to aim for God's standard, I recommend reading Proverbs 31 every day.  It's convicting and inspiring every single time I read it.

• Comments (12) • Post A Comment! • Permanent Link

This is my response to a recent post on Biblical Womenhood which can be viewed here.

I discussed this post and all the comments with my husband over dinner last night. He encouraged me to post a comment today. I want to be very careful in this response, but I'm going to have to crawl way out on a limb with Joanne and strongly disagree

Let me start by saying that this comment is not aimed at Crystal, but rather at the modern idea that motherhood paired with homemaking is burdensome and more than any woman can handle in an orderly, efficient and cheerful manner.

I recently read a blog where a woman said, "Are you a Proverbs 31 woman? Personally, I think it's an unreachable goal... I'm convinced that any woman who thinks she can do everything the Proverbs 31 woman can is a miserable, grumpy woman. It's too much to do." This is a woman who is linked to and from Biblical Womanhood. Is God's standard really burdensome, miserable and unattainable? What happened to "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."?

I'm new to the blog world and have been pretty discouraged by all the posts and pictures of moms wearing PJs in messy homes with piled dishes and undone laundry. I think it's the tone that discourages me more than anything else. We all have our days, but it should be the exception not the rule. The tone should be an apology and a plea for help, not a resignation to lower the standard. God's standard is always one of order. I mean look at the Proverbs 31 woman.

I feel like these posts are giving license to this type of lifestyle. It's the comments that get to me. The women who comment on these "I'm not perfect" posts seemed relieved. They appear to have found justification for a lifestyle for which they previously felt guilty. I would say their guilt is justified and they ought not to sear their consciences. I hate to see the standard lowered.

I think a healthy woman who obeys God in just 3 points should be able to fulfill ALL her homemaking responsibilities on a daily basis and much more:

1) submitting to and honoring her husband

2) training and disciplining her children (from birth)

3) working diligently to His glory

I am pregnant with my 5th child and live in a constant state of total exhaustion. But I drag myself from one task to the next all day long. Life is about going back and forth from the dishwasher to the washer and dryer to the diaper changing table and back again. That's life and I love it. I go to bed earlier than usual and probably am running at about 75%, but I still get meals made, dishes cleaned, laundry washed and homeschool completed. In addition, my husband has made me directly responsible for the daily operations of 3 of his companies, including managing employees. I also provide administrative support at the drop of the hat whenever he needs it. This alone takes up a significant part of my day. I don't say this to "toot my own horn". I just don't think that what I do is that amazing. It's like the verse in Luke 17 that says, "So you too, when you do all the things which are commanded you, say, 'We are unworthy slaves; we have done only that which we ought to have done.'"

I hesitated to write this because my goal is not to say, "Oh look at me!" Really I am no different than anyone else. I'm just having a hard time understanding what keeps anyone from getting their daily tasks done, other than physical limitations, like severe nausea (Crystal) or other debilitating diseases. But I think even a person in such a situation can put guidelines in place to keep things sane. It's a matter of self-discipline, which by definition means forcing yourself to do something that you don't feel like doing. For example:

1) Force yourself to take a shower first time out of bed, no exceptions.

2) Force yourself to throw ingredients in the crock-pot straight out of the shower, before getting back in bed. It only takes a few minutes to open packages and throw them in.

3) Rinse and stack the dishes in a neat tower after each meal. This keeps the kitchen looking neat and tidy and allows you to easily load the dishwasher when you have some extra energy.

4) Keep up with the laundry by keeping the clean laundry in boxes/baskets sorted by load type (colors, lights, whites). It only takes a minute to move loads. What takes time is folding, hanging, etc. This way the clothes at least stay clean and somewhat organized with minimal effort.

Another issue that I think needs to be addressed is blogging. Blogging ought to come after all your responsibilities are fulfilled. I would feel extremely guilty sitting in my PJs blogging with piles of undone laundry and dishes. If you can blog, you can sit on the floor and sort laundry or sit in a chair and put on makeup. We should take extreme measures to obey God and honor our husbands. If you can't stand, put a plastic stool in the shower. If you can blog you can sit on the stool in the shower.

I'm with Joanne that modern women need a strong dose of antiquity. Have you ever read about Jonathan Edwards' wife, Sarah? How about the book, "Mother"? These women worked their fingers to the bone and their person, homes and kitchens were always open and prepared for visitors.

I don't recall my life changing much after our firstborn. I asked my husband last night and he confirmed that we went on with "life as usual". I think it all comes down to scheduling and discipline. Are you training the child or is the child training you?

So to answer the question about a 3-month old first child, I would say there isn't any reason you shouldn't be able to continue on with your pre-child lifestyle. And here's the beauty of God's design. As the family grows, so does the help. With only 1 baby, the amount of laundry and food prep are barely increased. But with more children the amount of laundry and food prep does grow, but so does the labor force. But this is a matter of proper training and discipline.

My husband refers to children as either assets or liabilities. At some point a child that previously could only take, becomes a child that can give and can contribute to the workload of the household. We train our children to become assets as early as possible. A 2 year old who is properly disciplined is just dying to work. But my husband has always made it clear that children must truly help and that means we dictate exactly what they do, not visa versa. Play-help isn't helpful. There are many benefits to training children to become assets. 1) It follows the pattern of Deut. 6. of training your children "along the way", 2) It instills a strong work ethic from an early age, and 3) As mom's responsibilities grow to include homeschool, she now has helpers to manage the household while she is working or schooling.

So to address the discussion of whether it gets harder with child 2 or 3, I would say no. A 2 year old should be able to keep the house picked up with initial micro-management. Around 3 to 5 children can unload the dishwasher, do the laundry, change diapers, prepare cold meals, do a lot of the house cleaning and entertain the younger ones. This list comes directly from our household. For just one example, my 5 year old is responsible for diaper changes. She loves her 2 younger brothers and joyfully changes their diapers every single day, even the really messy, stinky ones! :-) And the older they get the more helpful they become. But again, it's a matter of proper training.

The Bible has a very high calling for women. Proverbs 31 is a great place to start. And God promises that "No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it." God will give us the strength to obey all of His commands. We must follow the Proverbs 31 woman's example, "Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she smiles at the future."

• Comments (31) • Post A Comment! • Permanent Link