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Aug. 5, 2009
The Ever-trekking Adventures of Gooblav The Alien—Part I
*Our story takes-place in a small, cheap, yet functional Trading-spaceship in a galaxy far, far, away.
Before we begin, allow me to introduce Gooblav The Alien, an exceptionally good pilot (even by alien-terms) and his Assistant and "First-mate", Phil—who is very good with computers (most of the time), has a big heart, yet isn't very smart.
Anyways, the two of them set-out to go to a galaxy far, far, away—where no alien has ever gone before! Well... sort-of.
"We're approaching it now, Phil." says Gooblav (for now, we are to assume that they are fluent in English and have decided to talk in this manner through the whole story).
"Approaching what?" asks Phil.
"Well, the planet, of course." replied Gooblav.
"Oh, I see. It kinda looks like a muffin." said Phil.
"No it doesn't!" replied Gooblav.
"Sure it does! Anyhow, we better get there quick, else our load of dehydrated goods shall go bad."
"They can't go bad!"
"And why not?"
"Well," began Gooblav, "Don't we have some sort of advanced-device that keeps them... well... from going bad?"
"No, that was too expensive." explained Phil.
"Ahh! Never-mind! Anyhow, we are approaching Keelopphelonee right now."
"Key what?"
"Keelopphelonee. It's where we're going—they said that they are in most desperate need of dehydrated... er... stuff. Anyway, they should give us a good price for it."
"Why do they need degraded goods?"
"Not DEGRADED goods, DEHYDRATED goods! They wanted them because... er... they were getting bored of hydrated stuff."
"You don't have to yell."
"I apologize. Anyhow, we better get are landing-gear up—go ahead and press the button."
"Al... right." stuttered Phil, nervously.
He waddled-over to the keyboard of about 9742 buttons or so—which one should he push?
"Go-ahead: push the button!" said Gooblav.
"Er... Alright." said Phil.
He then pressed the first button that caught his eye—a big, bright yellow.
No sooner had he pressed-it that there was a loud *THUMP!* and the entire spaceship shook.
"What just happened?" asked Phil. "I think we lost something important!" exclaimed Gooblav.
He looked-out the view-screen and saw a bunch of parsnips, floating-around in space.
"Oh no!", they both exclaimed, "The parsnips!!!!!"
"What do we do?!?!?!" asked Phil.
"I'm not sure," explained Gooblav, "We can't get the claws to come-out and get them because the Parsnips power them, too!"
"What are we to do without are Parsnip Fuel?" asked Phil.
"Float aimlessly for a while until we crash-land on a planet." stated Gooblav.
"That doesn't sound very pleasant." said Phil.
"Well at least the landing-gear is down." said Gooblav.
There was a silence.
"Um, Phil, you did release the landing-gear, right?" asked Gooblav, nervously. "Well, kind-of." said Phil.
"What do you mean kind-of?"
"I pressed that button over there." explained Phil.
"WHAT?!!?!??!!??! That Button?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?????? That button releases the Parsnips!"
"Oh, sorry." apologized Phil.
"Didn't you go to the academy?"
"Well, kind-of." stated Phil.
"What do you mean kind-of? Then again, don't answer that question."
About 3 days passed as they floated aimlessly in space.
Soon, they were approaching another planet.
"Hey, Goo-blob, come see: This One looks like a Blueberry!" exclaimed Phil.
"That's Gooblav—what Blueberry?"
"That one!", exclaimed Phil, "Is it not so beautiful?"
"Yeah, I suppose it's kinda pretty.... Hey! We are going straight-down for it!"
"What's it called?" asked Phil, who was still daydreaming and staring at the strange planet.
"That's beside the point, right now! Anyways, if you must know it is actually called..."
began Gooblav "I think I shall call it Blueberria... Or what about George?"
interrupted Phil. "Ahem! It is CALLED Earth, and it is a wildlife reserve for Parsnips."
There was a short silence as the two of them slowly looked at each-other.
Then they both exclaimed, "PARSNIPS!"
TO BE CONTINUED...
-Isaac
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Aug. 5, 2009 - New Story