Little Big Family

• Sep. 21, 2007
I looooove DSL!

Posted in Musings about my life

Why did we wait so long, when it's the same price as all our services we had before? Wow. I love it. I might have to send my kids to public school so I can play online all day! Ha!

I want to get nostalgic for a moment...when I was in college, we got online at home-my parents had internet before we did, so they taught us how to use it. This was about ten years ago, so I doubt DSL was even heard of, and dial up was s-l-o-w. I remember starting a page to download, leaving it to fix a sandwich, and coming back to watch it finish up. Then we'd click on something on the page, then go to the living room to watch Friends (I've not watched that in years, don't worry!). At a commerical break, we'd come back and so it continued...Good times, good times (remember all this Jen?)

Speaking of nostalgia, I've been thinking about what future citizens of the North American contenent will think about us. History is discovered through what archelogists dig up (artifacts) and our writings. What kind of artifacts will be found here? We're in such a disposable society, but also such a materialistic society, that I can't even imagine what future scientist will think of us. They'll likely find all these electronics, but with such strange names as Blackberry, Ipod, and such, will they even know what they were for? All our household stuff will likely still bear the phrase (with lead based paint, no doubt) "made in China". They could conclude we're best friends with China considering all the imports we have from them!

What about journals? There is so much history found in old journals. I have written in journals for years and years-even before I was married, and I still have most of them. However, I've not written in my journal but about twice since the baby was born over a year ago! I've blogged instead-so if I don't find a way to record my blog entries on paper, all my journaling will be gone-our little family's history with it!

I'm not yet suffiently motivated to start printing off all these entries...but DSL sure makes me want to blog more often!

• Sep. 19, 2007
Beware of the girls!

Our big girls broke their first boards last night at Karate!

Shane and I have been letting my little brother pick up/bring home the girls to karate class, but since Shane's on vacation, we were all able to go watch for a while last night. Their initial work out was hard core! Lots of jumping jacks, push ups, sit ups, and jumping. This instructor divides the group up into different levels and has a black belt assistant lead each small group. Our girls were put into the board breaking training last night and by the end of the night, Ash broke a board with her hand and another with her foot and Hope broke one with her hand (with the instructor's unseen help, I believe). I was very proud of them, but a little anxious, too! I could see Shane's body flinch each time the girls struck the boards, as if he could help them do it from across the room, lol!

A homeschooling dad, who's also a local doctor, is a black belt in the class and has taken to the girls. Last night he reintroduced himself to me and said, "Your girls are a joy to have here. They've very nice to be around, very well behaved, and they are hard workers." I was tickled! It's always a little nerve wracking to send your kids somewhere without you.

The girls are carrying around their broken boards today (signed & dated by their instructor). A cool thing-the leader gave out a Col 3:23 award to a woman in the group who was working with all her heart-that's our hs verse, so I liked it that the verse is reinforced at karate. Very cool.

Over and out, we're heading to the library, the mall, and out to eat!

• Sep. 17, 2007
School started with a bang!

Well, we're in week 2 of school and it's busy, busy! After our last minute switch-a-roo in cores, we're trekking along in Core 5. I had planned to do Cores 1/6 with my 1st & 5th graders, but the first book of Core 5 was a bit sensual, so I got on the SL forums and learned I really needed to back up and do Core 5. That meant I need to also do something else for my 1st grader, since I want them to study the same time periods together. God provided all I needed in my new friend :) I've never had to borrow a Core before and I'm finding it humbling. I have to have peace about an almost empty homeschool shelf-where I usually store 2 cores! We decided to have Hope follow along with Ash, doing her own LA and Math and some of her own read alouds. Borrowed books and slimmed down supplies (for Hope) don't take up much room. I've never realized how proud I was or how much security I derived from having all those shiny new books all lined up on the shelf. God is stretching me all the time, girls!

We're hoping for a great week at our house, since Shane was finally able to take vacation from work. When J was born, he only took a few days since they were so short handed. He wasn't even able to take off for my Grandpa's funeral since he was in "jail school". So, now we're basking in the presence of a daddy who doesn't have to sleep all day so he can go to work at night! Yippee!

Believe it or not, I'm being stretched, here too. I encouraged (against my flesh) Shane to hook up with his brother today, the first day of his vacation. They get so little time together...also, I'm having to be on guard because I know the Devil would love to ambush our time together. We've found ourselves to be weak to spiritual attacks when Shane is off work, so this extended time off means being extra diligent to show the fruits of the Spirit and not be easily offended.

Have a great week in the Lord!

• Aug. 29, 2007
Surprises

I can't believe I've only blogged once this month! Life has been way too busy this summer. I'm ready for it to calm down, but I'm not sure it will...in the mean time, I've been blessed with some surprises this last week. Some are for me to ponder while others are just sweet!

For my biggest surprise, Shane requested, and has now received weekends off! I had a husband by my side on Sunday during worship! We snuck out during Sunday school for a little brunch date (Whataburger, lol!). I'm so glad!

I was also surprised by another guest at church-my youngest brother! He's become involved with an outreach of a local church-a Karate program and that's made him interested in church. Praise the Lord! He's coming back next Sunday! He's invited our oldest girls to join him at Karate, even paying for it and taking care of getting them there and back!

Another sweet surprise-as I walked past our couch and saw our shoes lined up (I let the girls keep one pair by the door) and saw little BB's tiny shoes-and mourned the loss of my children-just that they'll be children only so long before they're all grown up. It makes me sad...and I feel pressure to do it right-get the little things in there-all the hugging and nurturing and special loving that is only allowed in childhood. She turned 4 today, and even though she tears up at the idea of "gettin' bigger" she is getting bigger.

Let's keep treasuring the little things-our husbands in church, the Lord at work in our families, and our babies' childhoods!

• Aug. 17, 2007
I'm still here!

Just an update~I thought I had the little problem of taking on too much licked, but I guess not! I'm full to the brim with projects, many of them work related. The PRC is keeping me very busy, but it's all good :)

We're wrapping up reading the last of our books for the year and I'll order our curriculm for 2007-08 soon. I'm excited about schooling Ash & Hope in the same time period, but also a little anxious about working it all out. We'll be going back to World History and I just had the great idea of buying Stort of the World on CD, so I won't have to read the history lesson! Whoo hoo! It should make school much easier.

Shane was told today that he gets weekends off so he can now go to church with us. I'm so excited about that. 18+ months of going to church alone is hard work, but it kind of became normal for us. I'm ready for a new normal!

Okay, out I go again, I hope to get to write a real blog entry soon :)

• Jul. 28, 2007
I'm gushing!

Posted in Musings about my life

First, some exciting news-I have a new sister in law. Actually, she's not new, Scott got married 4 months ago! He and Mary kept it a secret for four months. They just went to the JP but didn't want everyone to poo-poo a big ceremony, which they'd like to have in the future, so they didn't tell anyone about the official "wedding". Their plan backfired though, as they realized it was just too hard to hide Mary's new last name on the mail and her driver's license, etc. This is my first SIL, so I'm kind of excited, even though they've been living together for over 2 years--I guess just making it official makes me happier for them.

I'm also gushing b/c I have great friends. Everywhere I look I have a good friend or two. I am so blessed. First Jen generously gives me another installment of cool clothes that I'd never pick out for myself but love to wear. I shamelessly accept them and then offer my spit up stained t-shirts to her...not sure why she won't ever borrow clothes from me, lol!

Then a sneaky friend I won't mention by name (but it startes with "S" and ends with "ummer") and her sweet husband spend their date night at the center putting together all the new furniture we bought on Wednesday. Wasn't it enough that she spent all day Wednesday shopping for the center, then she served on her shift on Thursday, then popped back in Thursday night to put together a lot of stuff? I had just read about Jesus washing his followers' feet before he was nailed to the cross and I thought of how I can better serve my volunteer staff-before I can think of any ways, they bless me instead.

These two examples don't even touch all the blessings I have in my friends. Leah puts up with my sporatic, self centered emails...and has been doing so for over 2 years...Shelly and I can pick right up where we left off, even if our busy motherhoods keep us away for weeks...I really don't know why any one would enjoy my company...I'm in awe of my friends and their sweet spirits. I'm going to steal a phrase from another good friend here: I think my friends are my friends just because I'm a ministry project for them :)

Have a blessed weekend.

http://s151.photobucket.com/albums/s143/glorygirl_2007/J%201st%20Birthday/

• Jul. 23, 2007
Happy Birthday, Baby J!

Posted in Our Family

I just blogged the baby's birth story and then hit the back button by mistake and lost the whole thing! Whaaa! I'll have to try it again later...it's a great story! It's been a great year. Well, that's not true. It's been the hardest year of my life I believe. But it's had the happiest ending. I've never been happier. I'd love to expound, but I've been playing too long and need to get back to my family. See my pretty birthday girl at:

That's the Birthday Girl's album. If you want to see some pics of Ash, who's team just won 2nd place in the local softball association, click on the glorygirl_2007 link, then click the appropriate subalbum.

• Jul. 15, 2007
By the way...

Posted in Our Family

I have been thinking about privacy and our names....the bottom line for me is that I don't want to be "google-able". Only a couple of our names would come up in a google search, so I'm going to use all but those. Several of our family members don't even go by their first names, so that helps. The baby is the only one who I can't share her name, but I can spell it backwards! A-K-I-A-J. Write it out, it's kinda weird. It's said, "Jay-ka". Shane made it up. We call her Jay Bird, Jay, Jakey...so I'll call her something else here.

Alright-y?

• Jul. 15, 2007
Media Monster

Posted in Musings about my life

I'm rather notorious for liking a trend when its on its way out. Clothes, techie toys, you name it-when it's first introduced, I don't like it, but when everyone has one, I finally decide its the best thing since sliced bread. The only exception to this are capris-I think I've loved them from day one and I hope they never go out of style!

Take cell phones-back in college, Jennifer's family paid for one-just in case. Well, with two girls (Jen & me) driving back and forth to college daily on a dangerous stretch of black top, I can see why one of us needed one. But the reality was, Jen would call her mom and tell her what she wanted for dinner or to ask if she got something in the mail. I didn't think I'd really need a cell phone...then I got one. Of course, I don't know how I lived without it.

Then ringtones came along and again, I really didn't think I needed any. Although I love having all my peeps assigned to their group with a coordinating ring tone, I can make do with what Cingular gives me on my phone. I didn't get green with envy when Shane downloaded some cool ringtones...really, I didn't. I had to replace the PRC's cell phone this weekend, which I carry all the time and pretend is my own (no need to carry 2 phones, right?), but the standard ring tones are soooo lame. So, what have I been doing this afternoon? That's right. Getting addicted to ringtones. My friends' calls are now assigned to Bad Company's title track ;). Shane will appreciate Tonight by Kutless...too fun!

I'm not so impressed with TV media, though. I have had some free time in the evenings lately, when the kids are off at their 17th VBS of the summer, and I've flipped on the old tube while folding clothes. No kidding-every time for the last at least half dozen times I've turned on the TV, there's been something sexual on. It's not just the shows, either, it's the commericals. I know this isn't new, but it's just bugging me again.

We pretty much only use our TV to watch DVDs and videos. Some Saturday morning cartoons are allowed. The more I've backed off the TV and popular movies, the more disgusted I am when I do watch TV. TV is saturated with PC propaganda-most notably gay/lesbian promotion, right along side premarital sex. If you land on a show that doesn't touch those two topics (you must be watching something I'm not, lol), then you get messed up familes to laugh at--you know, the cute, smart wife/dumb husband shows. I fight my tendencies to lead my husband enough, I don't need TV to encourage me to flip flop our roles.

I want to lead a holy and pure lifestyle without being legalistic. That's my goal. Who's with me? Anybody figured out that exact balance? Is there a ringtone that can remind me to do that?

(4 Comments) (Post A Comment!) (Permanent Link)

• Jul. 9, 2007
I finally got to meet the "guys"

Posted in Musings about my life

It's probably obvious, but the world of law enforcement is a bit rough around the edges. LB doesn't really want me to hang with his LE buddies. He's afraid I can only handle so much of their sorid language and the brash, in-your-face humor. I think he doesn't know me too well.

A guy I went to highschool with who is also an officer at LB's Sheriff Office buried his older brother today and about a dozen LEOs showed up in uniform to carry the casket. Afterwards we went to eat with a couple of cops hubby works with in the security job he works on the weekends. I got to see his new Sgt, his big boss, and several of his other coworkers. It's so nice to have faces to the names! It's hard to keep up with the stories/personalities of a dozen or so officers when you have no face to put with their name.

It was great to see Shane ham it up with one of his good friends he works most Sunday afternoons with, and she restrained herself greatly-she only cussed a dozen times, lol. I actually liked her very much and would hang out with her if I had the chance.

So, this isn't terribly interesting to blog about, I'm sure, but I am feeling really good about it, and it's my blog :) I think it means a lot to me b/c I'm so social, b/c I pray for these people so often, and b/c this is a huge part of my dh's life. I push dh to set up times to hang out with his friends, but he always says he doesn't think I'd mesh with them bla bla bla. Dh is so laid back, he'll retire from this place I'm sure, so I love it that we can get to know some of his coworkers. Anyway, his two worlds collided today and it went well. And I learned a few new words-words that won't find their way to the girls vocab tests ;)

• Jul. 3, 2007
This scares me...

I have this issue-I'm afraid of those alarms that are placed all over town to warn of emergencies. I grew up with one practically in our back yard and now I have one about a block away. The other morning, when my hubby came in from work about midnight, the siren kept going off in a half hearted little wail. He called the local PD to report it, saying it sounded like there was a short.

This brought up a conversation about those sirens. I don't know why, but they really scare me. I have to make myself be calm when I hear it, so I don't scare the girls. I always think there's some emergency and I need to protect my girls from it, but I don't know what the emergency is! I don't think this logically, I know it's not real, but I have to fight that feeling. Also, the deep wail makes me think of air raids (a bit before my time!) or cold war attacks (as a child of the 80/90's, this is really before my time, too).

What I learned this week also scares me-that children in school are being drilled in what to do during a school shooting! It's called a lock in drill. Now I know that this is probably necessary, but that's half the problem! Not only is it a real risk, but it's also a risk our kids have to know about. Being married to an overprotective daddy who knows the faces of every sex offender in the area (b/c he memorizes them, no joke), I'm well aquainted with teaching our kids about real dangers (and some I don't really think are real, but hubby does), but I'm not all for them knowing about all the world's dangers-especially ones they can't do much about anyway. My mother-heart just breaks when I think of the fear that must be in the hearts of kids taught how to avoid being killed by a classmate. I know just hearing sirens and knowing kids older than me had to do bombing drills (is that what they were?), I can't imagine a child dealing with the fear related to a school shooting. Too sad for me today :(

Okay, sorry that was so heavy! Kiss your kids, blow up some blackcats, and eat your weight in watermelon! That'll put a smile on your face!

• Jun. 29, 2007
Small Towns

Posted in Musings about my life

Small towns-I love them :) I love taking my kids to parades (um, Summer, I have to say the Kiddie Pet Parade does not make my list of fun things to do with my kids-call me a parade snob, lol). Even though we wait longer to see the parade than the total length of our parade, it's worth it just to get that small town feel in your heart. Our town celebrates it's heritage once a year in a western type festival. I have fond childhood memories of riding my decorated bike, along with all my cousins, in the parade that kicks off the weekend's festivities. I remember doing the egg toss and watching my brothers and their nasty toads in the frog jumping contest. One year, my brother and cousins won the contests because my dad brought giant bull frogs in from the oil rig he worked on. One jumped up Margie McCandless's dress!

I was one of the people who had the attitude that our small town was worthless and we'd all move off somewhere adventurous. Funny how that fades as we get older. I love it that I have deep roots here. I was born in the hospital down the road from the house I grew up in, where my parents and youngest brother still live. There's just a patriotic feeling to living in and loving your hometown (I'm not to the loving stage yet, just the liking..maybe the loving comes in my 40s...).

A few weeks ago, we were looking at a home right outside the town my husband works in. It had 20 acres, a barn, an above ground pool, a basketball goal at the end of the driveway, a great treehouse, and a nice sized older home. He didn't tell me until it was sold, but my hubby was in love with it. I looked at it but felt it just wasn't home. I was in love with that community once, but after moving back to my hometown, I'm not interested in moving away. That shocks me, really. I would have never thought I'd get attached to living here. I'm not even in the "in" crowd and I often don't know what's going on, but I still want to call it home.

I hope you have a special place to call home, whether it's the place you go to bed each night or a destination far away only seen at Christmas. This week especially, I hope the feelings you have for "home" overflow into the feelings of pride for our country, especially for the sacrifices made for our freedoms. What stirs a heart more than love for the Lord and love for our country and the soldiers, firefighters, police and rescue workers who serve us?

(3 Comments) (Post A Comment!) (Permanent Link)

• Jun. 28, 2007
Deep Stuff

My computer needs TLC at home so I've been without any computer at home for a week or so :( I have, however, like any true blogger, been blogging in my mind...here's what I've been thinking:

I am in such a mood for deep stuff. Deep learning, deep study, hard, deep concentration. Isn't that a weird thing to be desiring during the summer time?

I think it started when I started reading a book called something like Moms Who've Changed the World. I feel so lame when I read about the mothers of Augustine, George Washington, and the Wesley brothers. Some of these moms had their young children memorizing huge chunks of scripture-without all the cute and fun memory verse books (like our Awana books) or Bible Buck incentives from church. Pure unadulterated scripture-and they actually learned it!

How am I quenching my thirst for this deep stuff, you ask? I'm making my kids do it :) I'm making Ash actually do the creative writing assignment at the end of SL's Core 4 that talks about hero development in a story line. I told her if she complained, she'd have to do all the dictation assignments I've let her skip lately! I pulled out the Awana verses and quizzed the girls with promises to keep quizzing (the love it!). I'm thinking of reading some classic literature myself...

I don't know exactly when I'll fit that in since I'm fully busy at home. We started watching my little cousin's baby, who's the same age as our youngest. She's with us 2 days a week and I'm sewing so many slings I'm swimming in them. Our little pregnancy center is starting to explore adding medical services, which is HUGE, and I'm attempting to wrap up 6 more weeks of school while keeping my house somewhat clean, lol. Land Baron is keeping me busy researching some career options while he hangs out at the ER after an "altercation" with an inmate (thankfully, he's fine).

Currently I'm trying to type this in my non-baby proofed office with both babies screaming for naps, so we're outta here!

• Jun. 10, 2007
Yes, we know what causes it and we like it very much, thankyou.

Because we have this girl gang, I am constantly asked by strangers if we are "done". The short answer is this: I don't know.

The very long answer is this (the last paragraph is a very short summary, lol) :)

I don't know, and I'm really wanting you to not walk away and snicker if I admit I'm considering what life would be like if we had one more. Some days I think I want one more and some days I think I'd like to give one or two away, lol!

You may be surprised to know that we aren't "quiver full" which means we'll have as many children as our bodies produce, thus saith the Lord. Now, I know some QF families and I have much respect for them and their convictions. I cheer for them out in this materialistic world they're butting heads with. But, we've not come to those same conclusions. We believe that God speaks to us about family size in more ways than by just allowing us to become pregnant (or not). We feel he can speak to us through scripture, through prayer, through circumstances and any way he pleases, just like he does all the time when He tells a family they're to go to the mission field or to move or to start a ministry or whatever. A person called to the mission field does not just buy a random plane ticket and fly to an undisclosed location saying the Lord will fly him wherever he's supposed to go, so why would God only expect us to determine our family size by the operation of our bodies? I know God opens and closes the womb, but he also speaks to us. I think God is big enough to do both and we don't have to understand it.

That being said, we do not believe in contraceptives that could be abortifacients (all hormone based contraceptives can possibly allow conception but then not let the uterus sustain that tiny baby's life, causing the baby to be lost usually without the mother ever knowing she was pregnant). I know there's debate over this, but for our family, we aren't taking any risks.

We've used Natural Family Planning or Fertility Awareness Method (NFP/FAM) for our entire 12 year marriage. I'm not super diligent all the time, but I know how to be if I want to be. Right now, I want to be, FYI ;) DH is fully on board with all this.

So, no I did not get "fixed". I hate that phrase. It ought to be in the "You Might be a Redneck Book". Dogs get fixed. As of right now, we've not made a permanent decision. I listened to a great tape series called A Biblical Approach to Family Planning with Dennis Rainey from Family Life. It had a great description of abortifacients and a good discussion on vasectomies and tubals. In my heart, I don't feel it's what God intended, especially for young families. I guess I'm almost QF in that I feel it's sad when families say they only want one child and she had her tubes tied. They just don't know what they're missing. However, I also believe there is a time when it is necessary to consider this route, but I'm not sure exactly when that is other than obvious health risks related to getting pregnant. I'm not sure we won't ever choose this route, but not right now.

Okay, so after that dissertation, do I still want more dc? Maybe. Sometimes just after the baby was born, my husband and I would both feel someone was missing from our family. I don't feel this as often now. I think the further I get from the current baby's baby days, the more the desire will grow. I'm not a baby person, exactly, so I can't explain it...I just don't know if I feel "done" or not.

Some days I do feel very done. When my life is chaotic or the girls are at each other's throats. But that's a flesh reaction.

Some days I want more. But usually its because I've discovered so many cool slings I want a chance to wear them all! That's a flesh reaction, too. Sometimes I think of my labor with #4 and how short it was and I want to experience that again. That's an insane flesh reaction. Just one of those mothery things that happens after you deliver a baby-your brain cells leak out with the placenta.

So, whatever we choose, it'll be okay. I have a superb dh who takes good care of me. If I have another baby and go all psycho again with some mild depression, we'll get through it. If we call it quits, we'll be okay, too. I'm not sure I'll be okay much longer with all the silly comments people make...here are some:

"Boy you have your hands full". Actually, this one doesn't bug me, but it bugs a lot of big families. It's just a convesation starter, give people some slack.

"Are you done yet?" Really it's none of your business, especially if you're a stranger. If you're my friend, you already know you can ask me anything, so this doesn't apply to you.

"You did get fixed didn't you?" This one really bothers me. I just smile really big and say, "No." It kind of leaves people wondering. What really gets me is when Christians have this attitude. Think about it-is it really pro-life to suggest to someone they shouldn't have any more dc? Why can't Christians be fully pro-life and encourage big families? Don't you think we catch enough flack from the rest of the world? Ick.

Okay, so that's my longest post ever and all it really said is: We use NFP and we don't know if we're done. Oh, and I might add that if we aren't done, please don't give me a hard time, that's what I fear more than not being able to feed/clothe/send my child to college.

(6 Comments) (Post A Comment!) (Permanent Link)

• Jun. 9, 2007
A day in our life

Posted in Musings about my life

Before I go into my original topic, I want to praise the Lord-I've been kind of complaining about church. The church we're going to is much bigger than we're used to. Our past few churches have been populated by 50 people including the itty bitty babies and up to the elderly-ist and when they had visitors each member knew they were to get to know the vistors and be extra friendly. You don't let a whole family go without greeting them warmly, they're your chance to grow by 10%! This church is different, they don't need members and they've been great in every other area, but they're not too friendly. I can't say I have a friend from church-and we've been there for almost a year. Well, now I have a friend from church! Her name is Violet and she's a sweet Southern Belle kinda gal and she's great! Thank you Lord!

Okay, so I thought yesterday was a good day to capture for a typical day for us:

We got up kind of early for us, around 8:30, and cleaned off the table of all those little things no one claims but no one wants thrown away. We spread out all our school books on the now clean table and did school. I sit at the end of the table with the 6 yr old on the right and Ash on my left, this way I can see how Girlie's handwriting is going as she works. I read the Bible (Egermeier's from Sonlight's Core K, which is great) to them both after they've done their math while I get myself ready for the day. Then I volley my attention back and forth, having one read something to themselves or do some independent work while I work with the other one. After a couple hours of this, we call it a day (school day) and clean up the living room and any other rooms necessary for the piano teacher's arrival. Now this piano teacher is an intersting woman! She needs a whole blog entry to herself! Let's just say LB was right when he said she wouldn't even remember if our house were super messy by the time she came back next week!

She arrived late, as usual, and the girls did their lessons. We had decided earlier that once piano was over we'd finish our cleaning and do some sewing. I finally felt ready to sew a sling (I have this tendency to need to be an expert on something before I actually do it), so I thought I'd do that while the girls worked on some little stuffed animal projects they had. Of course, that really meant I was running like crazy between the three of them (BB was doing those little sewing cards until she got bored and ran off to play). I had just put the baby down for a nap before we got started so I was sure we'd have a couple of hours to sew...but no, she woke up in half that time. Finally, after 2 trips across town for emergency sewing supplies from my Mom's, and 2 or 3 hours of helping the girls, I got to sit down to my sling.

Land Baron helped out by bringing us some frozen pizzas so I didn't have to stop and cook, he's so sweet ;) He was busy mowing and doing manly stuff when he should have been sleeping. I was feeling a little guilty for asking him to get pizzas, but was more concerned that my hot iron was going to get pulled off the ironing board and burn one of the girls. My visions of a sweet sewing time with all my little girls gathered around our dining room table enjoying the praise and worship and good conversation while the baby slept and bread baked in the oven were quickly dashed, lol.

LB could sense that I was a little frustrated when he overheard me snap at Girlie while she was holding the screaming baby sister right about four inches from my left ear. He nicely asked me a little while later if I was having a hard time. Gently, he held me accountable while trying to access my emotions. He then took all the girls out from under my feet for some Daddy wrestling time and a little minilecture on being quiet while we ended our day.

I got half way through the sling, after sewing rings on the one my mom had already started. Some of this time was spent sewing in the quiet night after the girls were all in bed-just me, my Singer, the radio and the baby monitor :) The baby monitor won out and I ended up in bed at 11:30.

It just won again...

• Jun. 3, 2007
12 Years

Land Baron and I are celebrating our 12th anniversary this weekend. We've been together since I was a sophomore in highschool. He was a bit older than me and was already out of school. We dated for four years before getting married when I was 19 and he was 23.

We were enjoying a stroll down memory lane this morning with our Starbucks while the girls were in Sunday School (we skipped, we're such heathens). We drove around by the pregnancy center we helped start and counted all God's done during our marriage:

12 really good years with few bumps

4 daughters, and only one pregnancy was high risk, one C-section, one V-Bac (successful!)

2 homes and 15 acres of land

6 cars (all used, that's why there's so many, lol!)

3 jobs for me, plus my new sling business, 5 jobs for him plus his home business of cleaning chimneys. Only one lay off and no firings.

2 College degrees

6 years of homeschooling

4 churches

Calling to start a ministry that's become highly regarded and grossing about a quarter million dollars a year in donations, plus involvement in a second ministry that God's growing fast as well-both are saving lives-both in the here and now (helping women choose life) and for eternity (gospel).

We have such a rich history, like all families do...I love it that God can paint such a beautiful picture with brilliant colors within a family. My husband said that when he was a boy, he never dreamed he would have such a full life; not that he didn't think he could have that, but that he never would have dreamed it up. He's such a pessimist (that's an inside joke of ours, I call him a pessimist and he says he's a realist). But really, I wouldn't have been able to dream up a life as rich as ours, either. I wouldn't have chosen the lay off, the scary pregnancy, the car wreck, or the debt, but other than the debt, it's all been good. Those things have made us stronger-especially the car wreck and the layoff.

God is good, all the time, all the time, God is good.

• Jun. 2, 2007
Holding back?

Are there things in your life you're waiting to do? I've been wanting to garden for years and years. I've actually tried it with dismal results.

We lived in our old house and I decided it needed some pretty flowers in front, so I dug out a flower bed. Yep, dug it out. I took the grass and weeds out and didn't mind that my flower bed was a couple inches lower than the yard. We even took pictures of little toddling Ash out there helping Mommy. How sweet. Then it rained. I now had a moat around the front of my house. The entire length of the front of the house, since when I get into something, I really go all the way.

So, I gave up flower gardening. I've had mild success with one house plant-the ivy. It takes me a long time to kill one!

When we lived in that old house, and sometimes in this current house, I walk around the yard and dream about what could be planted. This house, which is my grandparents' (my Grandmother lives in an assisted living center) had glorious gardens when I was a child-she grew corn, squash of all kinds, tomatoes, egg plant, blackberries and roses in her garden. We never tried to garden much here, although we talked about it some. It just seemed a waste to invest all that time into a garden at a place we planned to move out of (we've been planning to move to our land for years!).

Today, Land Baron went outside to pull the tall weeds out of the "garden" (the spot that was the garden) and I brought him some water. The smell of dirt and the squishiness of that fertile soil made me regret all the time we've left it to sit barren. I want to garden-I want to go get tomatoes from our own yard, to bring excess squash to all our friends, I'd even like to learn to can my harvest. I want to grow herbs for my kitchen...but I'm afraid.

I'm terrified of snakes. I'm lazy, too. I don't want to weed and water in the Texas heat. So, until I decide to get over this fear, I guess I'll always just have to wish I were a gardener and plan what I'll plant "someday"...

Isn't this sad? I just read in Little Britches by Ralph Moody a line about really living, since we don't know when our time to go will be...I'm going to chew on this a bit...and then I'll plan what to plant next year, since we're moving after all, and it's too late to plant right now anyway, right?

• May. 30, 2007

I'm excited about what a little motivation can do! All of us (my family) has been motivated to reach some good goals this week.

Hubby and I have been discussing selling our land. It's doubled in value since we bought it six years ago and we could use the money to pay off all our debt. We drove out to the land Monday night. I was wanting a visual confirmation of the condition of our "neighborhood". Some of the neighbors have brought in really junky mobile homes and one neighbor has decided to start a wrecking service and is lining up cars that've seen their better days (thankfully, he's down the road from us a ways and we won't have to see him much!).

The rest of our neighbors live in nicer homes with great property, so I think the good far out weighs the bad. After this confirmation, we got excited about our land once again. We came home and refigured our get-out-of-debt plan and if we work really hard, we can be out and ready to build a house in about a year! We're going to be rolling those pennies we find in the couch cushions!

The girls are now super motivated (bribed) to clean their room and do their chores. We spent Sunday afternoon making a chore reward box. When the get their weekly allowance and extra money job money (which is fake money), they can cash it in for treats (me painting their nails, going to the park, or bigger ticket items like going to the zoo) or cash. They love looking on the computer for their chore list and highlighting the chores as they're completed on the Word document! Their room is so clean and they're motivated to get it and keep it that way!

And, of course, it's the time of year to start planning for next school year! I'll be combining the oldest girls in 2 of Sonlight's Cores so they'll be doing Ancient History together. Although I'm still loving American History, I guess I can go back to the Romans and Egyptians for a little while :) I'll start the 3 year old (she'll be 4 when we start) in Before Five in a Row and then do Sonlight's great PK next year. So, we're motivated to hurry up our last 10 weeks of Cores K and 4! Its been a good school year!

• May. 26, 2007
My best

I've struggled to feel my best since the baby was born almost a year ago--it's a lot better than it was, but that peaceful feeling you get when you feel satisfied with life just didn't come as often as it used to. I now find myself constantly analyzing my mental/emotional/spiritual state to see how far off kilter I am at any given moment. This constant re-checking of my internal dash board for flashing warning lights has made me ponder what really makes me feel like I'm living the abundant life promised in scripture.

I really like a cleanish house. I say cleanish, b/c with 4 kids, there's really no such thing as really clean anymore. I feel pretty good when my house is cleanish. I feel pretty good when I only have a couple of loads of laundry left to wash and none on the couch. I feel pretty good when my kids have practiced piano during the week instead of saving all the practice up for the 10 minutes before the piano teacher arrives. I have happy feelings when we're on top of our school work. I like the feeling of accomplishment I get when I meet all my goals at work. Clean sheets boost my content-o-meter, along with a clean kitchen and a full pantry. When my heart is pure on Sunday morning and I can take communion with a confidence that there is no sin in my heart or anger towards a brother/sister, I feel good.

However, what makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside like nothing else is when I can look at my family's faces as they're all wrapped up in some conversation or some tickle war with Daddy, or with their minds focused on our Sonlight read-aloud, and I can see they are living a rich life. This happens when I've just cooked a homemade meal and we're all around the table and for that half hour, its as if there is nothing else in our lives but enjoying each other.

I wish I could articulate this how I feel it, but somehow, it ties into the list of things that make me feel good, too--if my house is cleanish and I'm not stressed about work, and I've made a good meal and the table's clean enough we can easily eat off it without loading up the bar with all the junk from the table, my world just slows down and I can watch our family _________ together. I need a good verb...bond is too overused....something like synergy is happening...we're synergyzing...synerbonding...and my eyes meet my husband's and we just know this is what we do it all for. We don't have to say a word, we just feel it together.

These moments happen in all kinds of homes, but I think homeschooling, especially with Sonlight has made more of these moments possible in our home. Tonight I laughed with my oldest as we shared a few chapters in Little Britches. I can't tell you how many synergetic moments we've had while Sonlighting...reading on the front porch swing in the spring, snuggled under a patchwork quilt with The Year of Miss Agnes...watching squirrels after reading Kildee House. Good books and a simple lifestyle...what else is there?