• May. 26, 2007
My best
I've struggled to feel my best since the baby was born almost a year ago--it's a lot better than it was, but that peaceful feeling you get when you feel satisfied with life just didn't come as often as it used to. I now find myself constantly analyzing my mental/emotional/spiritual state to see how far off kilter I am at any given moment. This constant re-checking of my internal dash board for flashing warning lights has made me ponder what really makes me feel like I'm living the abundant life promised in scripture.
I really like a cleanish house. I say cleanish, b/c with 4 kids, there's really no such thing as really clean anymore. I feel pretty good when my house is cleanish. I feel pretty good when I only have a couple of loads of laundry left to wash and none on the couch. I feel pretty good when my kids have practiced piano during the week instead of saving all the practice up for the 10 minutes before the piano teacher arrives. I have happy feelings when we're on top of our school work. I like the feeling of accomplishment I get when I meet all my goals at work. Clean sheets boost my content-o-meter, along with a clean kitchen and a full pantry. When my heart is pure on Sunday morning and I can take communion with a confidence that there is no sin in my heart or anger towards a brother/sister, I feel good.
However, what makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside like nothing else is when I can look at my family's faces as they're all wrapped up in some conversation or some tickle war with Daddy, or with their minds focused on our Sonlight read-aloud, and I can see they are living a rich life. This happens when I've just cooked a homemade meal and we're all around the table and for that half hour, its as if there is nothing else in our lives but enjoying each other.
I wish I could articulate this how I feel it, but somehow, it ties into the list of things that make me feel good, too--if my house is cleanish and I'm not stressed about work, and I've made a good meal and the table's clean enough we can easily eat off it without loading up the bar with all the junk from the table, my world just slows down and I can watch our family _________ together. I need a good verb...bond is too overused....something like synergy is happening...we're synergyzing...synerbonding...and my eyes meet my husband's and we just know this is what we do it all for. We don't have to say a word, we just feel it together.
These moments happen in all kinds of homes, but I think homeschooling, especially with Sonlight has made more of these moments possible in our home. Tonight I laughed with my oldest as we shared a few chapters in Little Britches. I can't tell you how many synergetic moments we've had while Sonlighting...reading on the front porch swing in the spring, snuggled under a patchwork quilt with The Year of Miss Agnes...watching squirrels after reading Kildee House. Good books and a simple lifestyle...what else is there?
Comments
• May. 26, 2007
Untitled Comment
Posted by bethanyrae
Yeah....I know what you mean.
Lived in is a phrase I've been applying to my house more often. I had all these people over, and didn't even try to get the stains out of the carpet nor straighten up the wastebasket/dogfood corner near the backdoor. Now for me, that's relaxed.
I LOVE Sonlight!
bethanyrae
