Musing Grace

• Jan. 29, 2008 - Recent revelation - Asperger's Syndrome

Posted in Special needs

I wrote this in my notebook last Thursday:

I recently had the revelation that every friendship or family connection needs to be an outlet for ministry.  We - especially I - need to be tuned in, looking for ways to be a blessing to everyone we come into contact with - especially those we deal with on a regular basis.  Funny that although I see my family as my primary  ministry in general, I have a hard time applying that principle to each member individually.  I seem to have taken my children for granted - the older ones especially, who help so much around the house.  I'm sorry, Lord.  Please help me to be more tuned in to how I can meet their individual needs: emotionally, spiritually (through encouragement) and physically (by helping them with their chores instead of always being so demanding).  Remind me (mercifully) to love them and treat them as I would want to be treated.  Let love be the motivation for all that I do, say and think.  Use me as Your vessel, Lord, and give me grace to do all that You set before me.

 

Then, yesterday I went to visit my mom, and she gave me some books to look over on Asperger's Syndrome (AKA High Functioning Autism).  I was floored.  Here, I have been scratching my head, trying to figure out why my daughter exhibits ADD symptoms and other idiosynchrasies, and her every little issue is in black and white, neatly packaged with real solutions to real problems that have been nagging us for years.  I'm going to say that this is not a coincidence.  I honestly believe that this is one big, huge answer to prayer.  What's encouraging is that I'm learning that a lot of what we've been doing is right, but that there are other things we can do that will help her even more.

Ok, now it's confession time.  My aunt, who works with ESE students, told me way back when that she thought my daughter might be highly functionally autistic and I immediately dismissed her suggestion because what I understood to be autism didn't seem to fit my daughter at all.  She is not reclusive and can't count 1000 items at a glance like Rainman.  So I dropped the ball because I thought I knew better.  I thank God for giving me another chance to recognize the problem and work to solve it.

Let me just clarify that I haven't been a big fan of labels (in fact, that might be why I wasn't ready to take my aunt seriously), but when there's this elusive problem that you've been banging your head against a wall trying to figure out and then suddenly there it is, all neatly categorized, complete with solutions, I'll take the label.  We all have strengths and weaknesses.  Some people's strengths ARE their weakness (as in not seeing a need for God because they think they've got it all figured out) and some people's weaknesses are their strength (because God is glorified when He meets those deep needs).  I'm not ready to tattoo anything on my daughter's forehead, but I don't mind her knowing where she is and what we can do to insure her future quality of life and service to God and others.

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• Feb. 13, 2008 - Untitled Comment

Posted by drewsfamilytx
Hi Grace!

Thanks for stopping by my blog. :-) We actually do have the 1998 version of the Hot Seat! And my boys... well, they die laughing every time they see it. I'm pretty sure they'd trade in our minivan for one of those in real life if they could!

Y'know, you are right. I take my kids for granted sometimes too. I am such a drill sargeant sometimes! Thanks for the reminder to work on that.

Regarding your daughter and Asperger's, even if she does or does not have Asperger's at least that book might give you some ideas to help her in any areas that she is struggling with. I'm with you on labels too. I tend to shy away from them as much as possible. But if there are tools or resources or groups available that can help you in any, definitely take advantage of those blessings and see if they can benefit your daughter in some way.

Anyhow, I think I've rambled long enough!

Take care and have a wonderful day!
Marsh
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• Dec. 9, 2009 - Untitled Comment

Posted by hsbaby
I'm so glad you found an "answer". Well, more like a starting point in my experience;) I have a 12 yr. old dd with high-functioning Autism. She wasn't diagnosed until she was 7. If it makes you feel any better, her doctors were doing the same head scratching you did with your dd. They knew something was off, but couldn't put their finger on it. So, you're not alone:) I'm not a huge fan of labels either, but it is helpful when researching alternatives methods for teaching, understanding why she behaves and/or reacts certain ways, etc. Best of luck!!
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