A look through my eyes

United we stand! We can make a difference!

Please consider this carefully and join us.

United we stand!!

Someone has said if Christians really understood the full extent of the power we have available through prayer, we might be speechless.  Did you know that during W.W.II there was an advisor to Churchill who organized a group of people who dropped what they were doing every day at a prescribed hour for one minute to collectively pray for the safety of England, its people, and peace.
        
        There is now a group of people organizing the same thing here in America
        
        If you would like to participate: Every evening at 9:00 PM Eastern Time (8:00 PM Central) (7:00 PM Mountain) (6:00 PM Pacific), stop whatever you are doing and spend one minute praying for the safety of the United States, our troops, our citizens, and for a return to a Godly nation.

         If you know anyone else who would like to participate, please pass this along.
        
        Our prayers are the most powerful asset we have.
        
        PLEASE FORWARD TO YOUR BELIEVING FRIENDS

In Christ's service and love ~Amy~

The Thin Line (between grace and works)

An excerpt from my book "Barefoot with God"  For your consideration and feedback.

"For by grace you are saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: not of works lest any man should boast." Ephesians 2:8

God's grace is an amazing thing.

Those words, in and of themselves, speak volumes. Perhaps because grace is such an amazing thing, our finite minds have difficulty embracing it.

Oh sure, we can accept the fact that we are sinners and need God's grace to cover our sins so we can obtain heaven, and we are even somewhat generous in allowing His grace to flow into others lives through us. But do we really understand the immensity of the gift we've been given? Can we possibly begin to comprehend the magnitude and grandeur of God's great love for us?

It is my opinion we are unable to do so without extensive time in His word and in His presence. We may well scratch the surface in time spent at church and Bible studies, but until we spend significant time with Him, One on one, we won't get it.

Consider the account of Martha and Mary in Luke 10:40-42. Jesus had come by their house, and as was customary, Martha busily engaged herself in preparing a meal for Jesus. Mary, however, chose to sit at His feet and listen to Him speak. Martha became upset with Mary's lack of help, and asked Jesus to chastise her. He responded lovingly when He said to her "Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her." (vs 41 & 42 NKJV)

In His own words He tells us the importance of sitting at His feet.

Why then, do we get so tangled up in "doing" ?

You see there is a very fine line between completely accepting the gift of His grace, and massaging our egos to make ourselves feel worthy of His love. Even handling the Scripture "Be doers of the word, and not hearers only." (James 1:22), can be cause for stumbling. When we busy ourselves "doing" we often miss the more important act of "dwelling".

Dwelling regquires resting.

Resting requires being still.

Being still requires stopping all of our activity.

No fidgeting. No doing. Simply being still.

God tells us to "Be still and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10 NKJV) and in Isaiah 30:15 we see " In returning and rest you shall be saved; In quietness and confidence shall be your strength." (NKJV). Why then do we struggle so?

Because grace is hard to comprehend and accept. It requires faith. Faith the size of a mustard seed is enough. Once we quit trying to prove to God, (others and ourselves) how "worthy" we are of receiving the gift, and begin resting in the provision He has given, we will find His grace is truly amazing.

Bask in His love. Let Him lavish His affection upon you.

Believe, receive and feel the refreshing waters beneath your feet.

New Pictures!

 Shelby smiles after taking my picture

  Tre being "Mater" from Cars

 

My new Grandson!  Azariah

  Lavendar waves

Carmel

Sunset in Carmel

Processing the sorrow, grateful for God's embrace

There are times the sheer magnitude of sorrow threatens to topple me, as I proces what it means to be "orphaned".  Although I am assured of my position as a child of God, there is something very final and disheartening knowing both of my parents are no longer living.  Today when I talked with my older sister, I see how much, even as adults, each of us depended on mom and dad.   When Daddy passed away 10 years ago, we all rallied around Mom in an effort to hold and help her through her loss.  I realize now, much of our hovering was for our own benefit as well.  We all needed the touchstone of security that we were still safe as a family. Now with Mom's passing, there is an intensified need to feel the bond of connection again. Although my family is growing with grandchildren being born, there is still the gnawing reality of my family diminshing at the same time.  What an odd mixture of emotions. 

Songs on the radio echo my sorrow today.  I know I will see those who have passed on again, yet my heart mourns the comfort of their presence.  As I sit here weeping while I write, I realize it's been four months to the day, since Mom went home to glory.  I miss the sound of her voice.

My sister was saying she may have to sell the moblie home where she and mom lived. Although she doesn't neccessarily want to move, rent has gone up in the park, making it difficult for her to make ends meet on her limited income.  She's still waiting to hear whether or not she'll get disability, even though she's been on oxygen for over 4 years and has been unsuccessful in her attempts to find a job.  Being 58 and on oxygen full times isn't a selling point for empolyment.

This is where faith meets the pavement of reality.  My eyes see only turbulance, but my heart looks up in hope.  I have to believe God has a higher and better plan in all of this.  Even the loss of what is known comes with the promise of what is yet to be seen.  I wrestle with my flesh, uncomfortable to be separated from that which is tangible.  But just as the sun returns after a storm, my faith shines through the places of doubt.  I have known God's faithfulness. I trust in His compassion and mercy.  Although my heart sorrows over the loss of the familiar, my eyes are no longer filled with tears, but shine instead with the love that pours forth from within.

I am not an orphan.  I am God's precious child and He holds me tight in His embrace.

Puppy love

Having a new puppy in the house is very much like having a new baby.  The only difference is babies don't bark, and we generally don't send them outside to go to the bathroom.

Although our new little Princess is adorable, she is a "velcro puppy".  It is the rare moment when she is not at my feet., or on my lap...much to the distain of my cat. He thinks his position has been usurped, and he doesn't  like it one bit.  I've tried my best to assure him he's still the alpha.  As I write he's petting himself on my hand, delighted that I've come upstairs without the dpg.  It's his turn now, so I'll close and give him some TLC.

 You can also find me on myspace http://www.myspace.com/grandmaamytlovesjesus

Happy blogging!

On my way to Monterey to spend a Happy Valentine's Day

Well, with the early arrival of our newest grandson (Dale Azaraih), my husband and I get to spend our 32nd anniversary in Monterey.  Dale has always been very good about seeing to it that we get away for our anniversary, but we were both wondering a bit how it woud work this year with the baby's due date so near  I think God must laugh with amusement, at times as He watches us fret over insignificant things. 

I hope to post pictures of our get away when we return.

Have a Happy Valentine's day!                                                       

I know I will.

Another picture

Friends at the hospital

 

A poem

This was written around 1984 shortly after DT was healed from glamariul nephritis.  Our god is an awesome God and we are blessed exceedingly, abundantly.

I love being a grandma!!

 Shelby

Tre (Dale lll)

And the newest Dale..(He's adorable!!!) with his proud daddy Dale (DT)

Cassie & Shelyb at Melissa and Jesse's wedding

Facing Giants

This is an excerpt from the novel I'm working on.  You r feedback is appreciated.

My dad was one of the sweetest men I know. Although he wasn't a very religious man, he lived the Golden Rule ("Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."). I never heard him speak an unkind word about anyone. He was a man who lived the principles of Christianity, and he taught me the value of compassion in action. He enjoyed life and lived it to it's fullest.

My parents had very strong opinions on how we children ought to behave, and the importance of always being truthful and respectful to our elders. They were also very forthright in there thoughts on how much authority the school system had over their children. I felt very safe in the environment they created for us. One of my fondest memories of my dad is when he came defense when I was in junior high.

There was a teacher who was known for his strict and stern treatment of children he felt were being disobedient. He was known for using the (then accepted) paddle on the back ends of those whom he felt earned it. On this particular day after school, I was looking for a teacher who, I was told by another teacher, was in the detention room. As I peered through the window in the door,  I saw the teacher whose reputation proceeded him, was the detention room teacher for that day. Not finding the teacher I sought, I turned around and headed back down the hall away from the detention room. Before I had even gone three paces, the voice of Mr. W caused chills to go down my back as he ordered me to stop. "What are you doing up here?" He demanded.

When I explained my position, he not only called me a liar and convicted me of trying to distract and get the attention of the students in the detention hall, but he threatened me. "If I ever catch you up here again, I'll paddle you."

I was horrifiied.

Now to get the whole dynamics of this situation, you need to understand the height differential. Mr. W stood well over six feet tall. At the time, I was barely four foot tall, and my dad was a mere five foot four inches. But every inch of my dad's frame was filled with self-control that night, when I told him what had happened. After he confirmed I was telling him the truth, he told me he would handle it. Comforted, I left it in his care.

Oh how wish I'd had a video recorder that next day. Now I don't know if it was divine intervention or what, but I had a front row seat when my dad came to the school to deal with the matter. I was in the class room adjacent to Mr. W's. I doubt my dad had any idea where I was, but God did and He let me watch. It's amazing I didn't get trouble in the class I was in, because I was mezmorized. I heard Dad's footsteps on the stairs long before I saw him. To say he was marching up to Mr. W's classroom would barely suffice. I could hear his knock very firmly on the door, but the conversation was muffled. As Mr. W. stepped into the hallway to speak with Dad, I could see them both clearly, David standing before Goliath, but with a twist. Goliath was leaning over my dad, but his posture was anything but threatening. I could see my dad's lips moving and saw his finger shaking in Mr. W's face. I also saw Mr. W shake his head as if to say "Yes sir, yes sir!"

It was an amazing moment.

From that day forward Mr. W treated me with the upmost respect.

I have no idea what my father actually said, but I know he made it very clear that any physical discipline of his children, would be taken care of at home.

What a blessed treasured moment in my life. I had been doing nothing wrong, and yet, was called a liar and threatened with physical violence. But I knew where I could run for help, and help came.

It was so like my dad to be courageous and fearless in caring for and protecting his children..

Although I didn't realize it at the time, I got to know God's character just a little better that day. He's always there to protect me, I can run to Him with any concern.

It's so like our heavenly Father. He will protect and defend us from all the giants in our lives.

Ready for Rest and Joy

This is actually something I'd written Noverber of 1989 for a newspaper column, but thought it was worth sharing aagin.  It is titled Ready for Rest and Joy, because I was in deep need of both.

"What I ought to do and feel like doing are not always the same thing." ~Elizabet Elliot from Discipline in Joy

     The degree to which a person is deemed "successful" can be measured  (to a point) on how well they organize and manage their time.  Each of us is given the same 24 hours in each day to work from and with.  Time management is essential if we are going to maintain our joy in this fast paced society.  It seems as though all our modern "time saving" devices have hindered us instead of helping.  Because we think we have more time in a day, we try to cram in more activities than we actually have time.  Twenty-four hours is still only twenty-four hours.

     For the Christian, the first element in gaining control of our time is to totally surrender it to the Lord.  "What?   Surrender to control?"  It doesnt' make sense, yet if we're not willing to totally surrender everything to God, we will continue to struggle in the areas we hold back from Him.  Psalm 8:4 asks "What is man that Thou art mindful of him, and the son of man that Thou dost care for him?" The answer comes in verses 5 and 6 "Yet Thou has made him a little less than God and dost crown him with glory and honor.  Thou has given him dominion over the wroks fo Thy hands, Thou hast put all things under his feet."

     I am aware this Scripture refers to Christ, but it also refers to us.  We are heirs with Christ through His shed blood.  God created us to have good things.  He wants us to be joyful and successful. Dueteronomy 30:9 says "and the LORD thy God will make thee plenteous in every work of thine hand, in the fruit of they body, and in the fruit of thy cattle, and in the fruit of thy land, for good; for the LORD will again rejoice over thee for good, as he rejoiced over the fathers." The same theme is picked up in Dueteronomy 28:12-13 "The LORD will open to you his good treasury the heavens, to give rain on your land in its season and to bless all the work of your haands.\; and you shall lend to many nations, but you shall not borrow.  And the LORD will make you the head and not the tail, and you shall tend upward only; and not downward; if you obey the commandemtns of the LORD your God, which I command you this day, being careful to do them and if you do not turn aside from any of the words which I command you this day, to the right hand or the left, to go after other gods to serve them."

     Have you ever considered the things that demand our time have become gods?  It's important to look honestly at what occupies our time and our minds.

     God wants us to live like kings and queens.  Why then do we insist on living like slaves?  Bad habits, destructive thoughts and wrong attitudes eslave us.  What about our use of time, and how we organize it?  We are told in 1 Peter 5:7 to "Cast all your cares on Him for He cares for you."  But are we willing to do that, cast all  our cares on Him? The use of the word "cast" here, means to hurl with violence, not the casting as a fisherman does.  When we cast our cares on the Lord, we are to leave them with Him.

     I have found it is my own desire to be in control that keeps me from the fullness of joy, and the rest that God offers.  As I learn to surrender everything to Him, joy begins to bubble again, and I find I am more rested and at peace than I ever thought possible.

    It's something to think about.

His Hands

The glory and goodness of God

It is such a blessed thing to have an intimate relationship with the Creator of all things.  I came to Christmas a bit concerned that I would somehow miss the joy this year.  After all,  Mom's passing from life into eternal life a mere 23 days ago, tempered the preparation for this day. 

But God is good all the time.  Somehow, even amidst all the sorrow and changes, the constant assurance of His love held me captive. Happiness is circumstantual, joy is not.  Joy is the bubbling fountain that cannot be stopped. 

Joycomes from knowing Jesus!  I celebrate Him today and everyday!

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times

I have sought how to write about the events of the past month, but find I am stymied for wrds.  How does one adequately tell of the final moments of life with the one who gave them birth?  How do I convey the magnificent sorrow at her passing from this life into eternity, and yet the overwhelming calm and peace from the asurance of knowing where she rests?

Perhaps in time I will be able to create the word picture that will bring the reader along in the journey I have just traveled.

For now, the day to day of adjusting takes all the energy I have.

Time passes, and the sorrow is less potent.  There are still moments where grief tries to steal away my joy, but then God's reassuring voice reminds me "All is well."

Hanging in the hallway outside of the main bathroom, is a wonderful picture of my mother and dad.  It was taken around their 50th anniversary.  They are both looking intently into the lens of the camera, so it appears they meet one's gaze, eye to eye.  There is something extremely reassuring about their gaze.  Daddy's health was declining at the time, yet there is still so much life in his eyes.  Mom's gaze is the same peacful expression she always wore. I make a habit of looking at it everyday.

They were both resolved with their lives.  Years of life and experience shine through their smiles with confidence and grace.  I want to walk as they walked, live as they lived; content, loving and graciousl  Neither of them were perfect, and they knew it.  But their imperfections made them uniguely themselves. They were both completely confident in who God made them to be, and comfortable where He'd place them.

Life does not always play out the way we expect it to, but there's much to be learned from graciouisly accepting who and where we are.  As I look at the picture of Mom and Dad I know I am only just beginning to understand what it means to be content.

Life moves forward. 

I am a peace.

Changing Season's

I'm feeling a strange mixture of emotions as I write this.  I have just spent a wonderful Thanksgiving with my children and grandchildren.  In fact, the grandkids stayed the night, and they left only about an hour ago.  Still,  there is a sorrow within.  I  just tried phoning  my 79 year old mother. She is in the hospital, once again.  It was difficult hearing her struggle to speak.  Apparently she'd been sleeping when I called, and her words were slurred and disjointed. The nurse suggested I call back in the morning, and my sister will be calling me shortly.  I know she could here the sorrow in my voice when she got on the phone.

Medically speaking, this has been a tough year for Mom.  She's had 6 heart stints put in, double knee replacement surgery, a staph infection on one of her knees, and pnuemonia.  There was a moment in time where we weren't certain if she was going to pull through from all of it.  I made the trip from California to Colorado three times this year.  Hearing her tonight made me question if I would be making another trip soon. It's always hard to gauge when I should go.  It's hard to be two places at once.

My husband and children have been wonderful about seeing to it that I have the freedom to go as often as neccessary. The only one that has made it difficult was my 4 year old granddaughter, who cried "I miss you Grandma" when I was gone for 10 days.  She and I are very close, and being that far away from one another was hard on both of us.

I feel like the final leaves on the tree, being blown by the winds of change. I have tried, repeatedly, to metamorphis into each stage of life, as flawlessly as possible, but I'm finding this latest stage difficult. When my dad passed away, nearly 10 years ago, my oldest was just beginning college.  The transition was difficult, but bearable.  Now all the kids are grown and on their own, making new plans for future holidays, and the regular rhythum of my life has suddenly changed.  I grasp at what is "known" and try to reorganize. 

As I look up from the keyboard, I see a note from my daughter.  She was at my computer earlier today, and apparently recognized my struggles.  Her love note helps ease some of the intense sorrow I'm feeling, and yet, magnifies it at the same time.  How quickly time passes.  It seems only yesterday that she was the cutie I had snuggled up in my lap.  Now that place is filled with her children.

Seasons come and go, and time ticks persistanly forward.  I capture only the fleeting mist of today, and it too, is suddenly gone.  Comfort comes from knowing this is only the vague shadow of what will be.  Knowing that there is a greater, better place awaiting, makes this season of life bearable. 

I wait on my sister's call, and pray.

Today's Musings ~ Love Letters to My Father

Oh the number of tress that could have been saved,  had I had this format in the past.  Having been a "journaler" for many years, I have filled many a notebook and writing journal with my ramblings.  It is good to have a place to sort out one's thoughts.  I'm still getting the hang of this blogging thing, but I think I'm making progress. 

I came across a journal from 1991.  Looking at it now, I see a bit more of self, than I'd like to admit.  Oh, I was praying for others, and I believe, genuinely seeking God's face. I'm afraid I was doing a lot more talking than listening though.  As pointed out in today's sermon, prayer needs to be a two way conversation with God. The journal shows I didn't have listening down nearly as well as talking.

In my own defense, fifteen years can bring a lot of growth.

It's interesting  one of the posts was concerning an upcoming 20 year high school reunion.  One of the questions I asked myself, was what I'd learned in twenty years.  Looking back now, I don't think I was nearly as mature spiritually as I thought I was at the time. I did make a notation several months later that I had not attained...but was pressing on.

Oh my!  wasn't I the princess of pride?

The older I get, the more I realize how little I know, and I recognize how little I have to offer the world.  The best I can offer is the recognition of my own sinful state before God's grace made me heaven worthy. Without Jesus, there is nothing good within me. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not "down" on myself.  I simply recognize the miserable state of my own humaness. 

I've often wondered whether or not I should even keep the old journals.  Other than the few poems of worth that have come from them, I wrestle with their value.

And then God reminds me...they are filled with love letters to Him. 

Several years ago when I was previously debating the worth of all I'd journaled, God took me on a little thought journey.

In my mind, I was standing before Him, apologizing for all the times I had pestered Him with my writings.  Stopping me mid-sentence, He beckoned me to follow Him into another room.  It was cozy and inviting. A fire crackled softly in the fireplace. Near the fire was a comfortable chair with a lamp softly illuminating the table next it it.  On the floor to the side of the chair was a large chest, similar to a treasure chest.  Inside were all the journal notations I had ever written. I shook my head in disbelief and began to apologize for their great number. 

"My child" He whispered,  urging me to stop talking, "Don't you understand?  I don't see these as a nuisance.  I see these as your love letters to Me. Each one of them was written in an effort to better understand My will for your life.  I treasure every word on every one of them." 

Humbled and overwhelmed by the thought, I have not looked at my jornals quite the same since. 

And so.....I muse about my musings, and know that my Lord loves to hear from me....even when I have a lot to say.

It is after I have finally exhausted all my words, that I sigh as I  hear His still small voice whisper within me: "You are my precious child and I love you.  I am here to stay."

"Be still and know that I am God."  Psalm 46:10

"I will never leave you or forsake you."Joshua 1:5

How to go about it all

I have totally enjoyed purusing this site and peeking into the lives of those who blog here.  It is sooooo much nicer than myspace!!

The frustration is I'm totally uncertain how to add people as friends, and/or link to their sites.  I have visisted a few other "grandmas" and some mothers, and would welcome them to my site if I knew how. 

Hopefully someone will stumble across this and give me some directions on how to better use this space. (uploading pictures, etc.)

For now, I am content to have a place to lay my thoughts down.  It keeps the traffice in my head to a controlable state.

Whittling the beam

It's been one of those interesting days where I got to see (several times) :<  just how much growth ......  I've got coming out of my own eyes, and how much growing I still need to do. 

 You are probably familiar with the scripture from Matthew 7:5 which says:

Now that's a good use of a beam.

The joy of contentment

"For Godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing we will be content with that" 1Timothy 6:6-8

I love God's word!  It motivates me and tests me.  It brings me comfort and conviction.  It makes me check my spiritual journey and helps me to stay on track.

Contentment is such an elemental neccessity in our day to day living.  Of course, in today's society, being dissatisfied is preached from nearly every avenue.  We are always being coaxed to try the bigger, better, tastier, newer...whatever.  After all,  keeping customers wanting more, keeps them coming back. 

How does all this fit in our daily Christian walk though? Scripture telss me that Godliness with contentment is great gain, and yet, the world continually shows me why I shouldn't be satisfied with what I currently have.

Ah, but you see?  We are to be "in" the world and not "of" it.  Our contentment isn't based upon things of this world.  It's not always easy keeping our eyes and ears from hearing the seductive call from everything around us though.  Learning to be content, takes effort and will.

Thank God for His perfect purpose that is played out in our lives as we lean into Him.  The more we trust Him and recognize His trust worthiness, the more satisfied we are with Him and the things He gives, and the less distracted we become from the world and its vain offerings.

Contentment is a blessed wonderful place to dwell, and I must constantly guard against the things that would pull me away.  As I lean into the arms of my loving Lord, I know that His grace and strength are sufficient to keep me, even in my weakest moments.

To Him be the praise and glory forever.