Wednesday Whimsey - Things I've learned from my boys...
11:24 PM, Mar. 14, 2006
I found this over at Ann Zeise's site and thought you all would get a kick out of it!
Things I've learned from my boys (honest and not kidding):
A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 x 20 ft. room.
You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.
Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.
Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
Super glue is forever.
No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
VCR's do not eject "PB &J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
It will, however, make cats dizzy.
Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
Tell us about what your kids have taught you! The first five to comment will get the Featured on the Front Porch button. Be sure to leave your email address as yourname-at-whatever.com so that we can email the code to you without the spammers getting your email address.
that sometimes you really do get to grow up all over again. I see myself in them each day and since we're homeschooling, I get to learn everything all over again with them! It's like getting a second chance at childhood all over again. Like just know.....it is 8:30 p.m. and I am being paged to the backyard for a night-time jump on the trampoline!! How fun!
I don't know where to begin, but the main thing my children taught me, is how to love unconditionally! They taught me the "selfless, I'd give up my life for you" sort of love. Don't get me wrong, I'd do the same for my dear hubby, but my children have shown me how to give without expecting anything back. They teach me patience (on a daily basis), how to have fun and to enjoy life as if every day is the last one!! On the lighter side, they have taught me that hair DOES grow back, leaving your favorite stuffed animal at Gramma's means turning the car around to go back and get him, shoelaces that get caught in the vacuum cleaner smell like burning plastic, bleach really does make things whiter - like our dark blue rug, and eating too many sweets makes for a long night beside the toilet! Oh there's much more, but I haven't the time to write them...I'm off to go see if I can get the spoon out of my new garbage disposal.
All that silliness aside, I am truly blessed to have the priviledge of raising, whom I think are, the best children in the world! God has certainly blessed us!
Lessons Learned from my Children - the Short List
*When it is snowing outside, no matter how wet your shoes and socks are, do not take them off and walk barefoot in the snow - it only makes things worse
*Peanut butter does not get gum out of long pretty blonde hair, only scissors
*Gum never gets stuck in the ends of long pretty blonde hair, only near the scalp and usually in the front
*Cats do not always land on their feet
*Chocolate does melt in the dryer
*A Hersheys Kiss has enough chocolate in it to cover twenty pieces of clothing
*A child's kiss and hug can help a broken heart
*Electronics taken apart and put back together will still work even though there are four extra screws
*Syrup should only be put on frozen waffles after they come out of the toaster
*You can actually teach your children to read
*Little ones can lead their grandparents to the Lord
*You can teach a dog to say your bed time prayers with you and bow it's head
*When the do-it-yourself soft serve ice cream machine will not turn off, it would probably be an exception to the do-not-talk-to-strangers rule
*Three ice cream cones will hold a huge blob of soft serve ice cream when the machine won't turn off
* Last but not least, I never knew my heart could love so much or know such joy
1. That several toddlers under 5, 1 Nanna, and a few rainy days will make that box of Loreal haircolor last less time than anyone would ever imagine in covering up the grey hair!
2. That Loreal haircolor does NOT readily come off of white linoleum tiles in the bathroom! (even when several toddlers try to *help* Nanna clean it up!)
3. That it just doesn't work trying to *cover up* the grey hair....it keeps growing back faster than the stores can stock Loreal!
4. That several toddlers under 5 WILL count to 20 quickly when counting those grey hairs!
5. That those several toddlers under 5 are well worth every grey hair that covers Nanna's head...even when they're all grey!
Children are a true blessing, even on the 5th rainy day in a row! And we can always count on them to continue teaching us, even though we're trying to teach them. The most valuable lesson to learn? That those precious babies will one day grow up, and it's what we've taught them now, and learned from them, that will last and be carried on to their children. We are the ones who determine the morals - good or bad - of the next generation, and the one after that.
Sewing machines are easier to take apart than they are to put together again.
Curious about The Old Schoolhouse® Magazine but not quite ready to commit to a subscription without seeing it first?
Check it out for FREE! We're so certain you'll love our publication that we'll gladly send a FREE sample to anyone new to The Old Schoolhouse® Magazine - we even cover the shipping!
Welcome to the HSB announcement blogboard from The Old Schoolhouse Magazine,
LLC. We hope you will enjoy the articles posted here by the Porch Team. Please feel free to leave comments!
~ Tia Linschied, Senior Editor of HSB
• Purposeful Planning - E-Book ($9.95)
This time-tested method of planning will give your family new direction for the future.
Start today! Choose the dates for your planning weekend,
read her book which has the entire “how to” included, and go for it!
Our e-Newsletters give you wonderful, informative information about homeschooling, news bits, contests and PRIZES for homeschoolers, articles to encourage you, calls for writers, free unit studies and lesson plans, and just a lot of FUN. Bring the community to your inbox – and no worries, we never sell, trade or give your email or any other information out to anyone.
Come join the homeschool party!
The Homeschool Minute is our most
popular newsletter, full of encouragement and support just for YOU!
Subscribe to *FREE* newsletters offered by The Old Schoolhouse Magazine.
Curious about The Old Schoolhouse® Magazine but not quite ready to commit to a subscription without seeing it first?
Check it out for FREE! We're so certain you'll love our publication that we'll gladly send a FREE sample to anyone new to The Old Schoolhouse® Magazine - we even cover the shipping!
