The word is “only.” Some do not like to use the word to refer to the one child that makes up their family. It’s not a bad word to me, but some think immediately of “lonely only” or “spoiled only child.” Maybe because I, myself, am an only child. My mother had a miscarriage when I was 2 or 3, so in truth, I have a sibling waiting to be met in Heaven. But for all intents and purposes, here on this earth, I am indeed an only child.
Let’s look a bit more deeply into the word.
Let’s look at the definition for “only.” When I speak of homeschooling only one child, “only” is an adjective, describing the child. Here’s what Bartleby.com says about the word:
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ADJECTIVE: |
1. Alone in a given category: lone, one, particular, separate, single, singular, sole, solitary, unique. Idioms: first and last, one and only. See INCLUDE. 2. Without equal or rival: alone, incomparable, matchless, nonpareil, peerless, singular, unequaled, unexampled, unique, unmatched, unparalleled, unrivaled. |
Alright, I will conceded that you find lone, sole, solitary, and alone in the definition. Those words do have negative connotations, but they are not negative unto themselves. They are merely stating forms of being. One can be alone and yet not lonely. Every single person on the planet has to come to terms with that one – to be at peace with themselves when they are totally and completely, all alone.
Now, let’s set those words aside and look at the other ones… Are they negative in the least? I don’t think so!
Particular, separate, unique, without equal or rival – incomparable, peerless, unequaled. These almost put “only” up on a pedestal. (Something that parents of onlies have to be careful of!) They are also the same words that the Lord would use to describe each of us. He loves us that much, that we are each unique and incomparable, unequaled: each of us! Isn’t that marvelous?
So don’t feel put down or odd to have an “only” child, if that is where you are. You have a very unique and unequaled individual that you have the supreme privilege of educating at home! What a challenge! What a journey! Enjoy it!
Donna Conner lives with her husband, Glenn, their son, Mike, and their beloved dog, Lucia, and calls Fort Worth, Texas home. Donna and Glenn have been homeschooling their son since the beginning of his education. Mike completes his homeschooling within the next two years. Donna is an artist and has always enjoyed writing. She wrote Homeschooling Only One three years ago, after discovering that there were many other families homeschooling only one child. Her website is devoted to those with only one student in their homeschool, with listings of online resources. You can visit her website at http://donnac.com and read her blog at http://homeschoolblogger.com/DonnaC
copyright © 2006 Donna Conner
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